So that I don't offend anyone. (I hope)

[Ernie]

Holiday Greetings 

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and colleagues, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer a few days ago, and on her advice I wish to say the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2012, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her / him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher .

Best Regards (without prejudice)

[Slabs]

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Ernie.

[jtmccallum]

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Ernie.  And a prosperous 2012.

John

[ARKANSAWYER]

  Well I  am offended!  I could not read half them words so now I feel stupid.  But I feel the love and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours.

[clww]

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your family.

[Chuck White]

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all of my Forestry Forum friends and their families.

[WH_Conley]

I'm gonna have to borrow this one Ernie.

[Busy Beaver Lumber]

Ernie failed to mention that his lawyer charged him $250 to help author that politically correct, non denominational holiday wish and insisted on an additional  $1000 retainer just in the event that any suit was filed against him during 2012 for his blatant attempt to wish well on others.

Happy holidays to you and everyone on the forum from Busy Beaver

[Cedarman]

Ernie, just knowing that you might retract your well wishes has put me in a funk ruining my Chrismas mood.  Hope you do have your lawyer on retainer.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to All.
Cedarman

[beenthere]

Ernie posted it, but I'm sure I rec'd same or very similar via email last year and the year before.

Making its rounds annually, but still good. ;)

Merry Christmas to All

[Warbird]

Merry Christmas, guys.

[Nomad]

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all.  Especially Ernie, no matter what that was he posted ;D
                            Nomad

[isawlogs]

Is somebody trying to saye that Ernie is regifting us with a used email.....   :D

Joyeux Noël à tous et que la joie soie parmi vous en ce beau temps des fêtes !!!! smiley_christmas smiley_antlers smiley_antlers

[Magicman]

My Sister is a lawyer and I can't understand what she says either.  Merry Christmas Ernie.