Neighbors....you don't get to pick em

[Old Greenhorn]

I have a neighbor, moved into the house next door about a year and a half ago. I have done my part to be friendly. He has a 1 acre plot, like me. I tried to help him out, dragged some trees for him that he cut down (poorly, but they were small), offered some advice, made it clear we were in this together, offered to let his driveway drain across my lawn. Just trying to do nice stuff for a young family. But this fella is starting to get on my nerves. He has lots of plans and starts lots of 'projects' but never finishes anything that I have seen yet. That's fine, it's his business, not mine. I loaned him my garden hose when their well pump quit and he ran my water for hours draining my well. I tried to explain to him how a well works. I try to be a good neighbor, I really do. He mowed his back weeds last week and sent a rock through my double pane shop window, I didn't say anything.  
 Tonight he catches me in the driveway and starts talking about 'the plan' to run a drainage ditch 200' back to the swamp from the driveway that he claims I proposed. I did no such thing and explained to him that the grade is wrong and it would be very expensive. I reminded him that he could drain directly onto my driveway and we could redirect it across my lawn and into the road drainage. He changed subjects and told me about his new plans to get a LOT of fill in his back yard, dig out a pond ("fed by swampwater?" I asked) filter the water he said, he's got it all figured out. Then he started talking about all the trees he needed to take down to make room for this (ridiculous) circular driveway he wants to put in. Now he had my interest. He was pointing at trees right next to his house. I remarked that that they were tricky trees and he would need a good man to take them down. He said "No I can't pay those guys, they want too much, I have a buddy coming over to drop the tough one and I will do the rest myself." Well the tough one is a 75' EWP 15' from the house, the others are mostly 60-70' hardwoods within 15 to 50' of the house. Nothing I would try because of the risk to the house. Yes, all likely easy drops, one would require laying the power line down before cutting. He was oblivious. He just said, "It's easy, there is only one way to cut a tree." I said, "there are many ways to cut a tree, you should be careful". He said "oh, this is easy" and I replied, "that is your house you should be careful, those trees can fool you and there are no second chances". I was trying to end the conversation and move on, but he persisted. He said "well I cut all those trees in the back", and i finally let go a little. I said "You know I have seen your stumps". he said "What, too high?" I said "no, it doesn't matter how high they are, but you can tell if a man knows how to cut a tree by his stump, and I have seen your stumps. Some training might help you out because you could get hurt." Well" he said "I am going to start cutting in the morning if you want to come over and show me some stuff." I felt the rope tightening. He has asked me for a little help in the past and the next thing you know, the task is all me. No thanks. I asked what he was going to do with the wood. No plans. I told him I would haul it off if it wasn't in 4-5 foot lengths. 8, 10, 12 foot lengths plus 6 inches, or leave the stems and I would buck it for him. No way am I cutting this guys trees, the stuff he cut last spring is still laying where it fell and most of the stems are still connected to the stump, he thinks that is how everyone does it. I told him the truth, I have to make a small lumber delivery in the morning, then I promised to show another neighbor how to cut, split, and stack his firewood. I would stop in between jobs and see how he was doing.
 I just needed to vent here where I feel comfortable and I get it that not a lot of folks will understand, but this is a family here, of sorts, and I know some will feel my frustration with this guy. This fella, as hard as I try, is getting on my nerves. he has one acre and he bought his kid a dirt bike. For two hours every night we get to hear that bike doing circles around his house. He does the same in some kind of dune buggy thing. He is starting to drive me nuts.

[btulloh]

Tomorrow will be an interesting day around there. Good thing you're busy elsewhere.

He sounds like complete moron. A Darwin Award candidate for sure.

[lxskllr]

The best neighbors are the ones you don't have. I don't talk to any of mine, and my right hand neighbors get on my nerves. They aren't bad people, just irritating people.

I don't like the sound of major grading OG. That can make water do funny things, and by funny, I mean expensive and/or maintenance intensive. Sounds like he wants to fit 100ac of work on his 1ac lot. Maybe he'll figure out he doesn't have the property he wants, and you'll get someone sane nextdoor.

[Southside]

Yea - that kind of guy would torque me off too.  If it were me I would find some excuse as to why I was not able to stop in tomorrow.  Everyone stops being stupid eventually....

[Pine Ridge]

I completely understand what your saying. We have a couple of good neighbors, and then some other neighbors. We have 5 acres, and the neighbors all have 5 to 7 acres. Some are good hard working folks that are very good neighbors, others don't work at anything, spend their time spaced out on prescription drugs, makes me wonder how they get by, only time they are friendly is when they need something. I have cut trees for every neighbor on our county road except one, I don't charge them anything. The one neighbor i haven't cut anything for was supposed to unlock her property gate 2 winters ago on a saturday at noon so i could cut a dead tree next to her house for her, free of charge. She finally called, at 5 pm that evening, said she just didn't get around to it that day so we will have to do it later. I swasted an entire saturday waiting on her,

[WV Sawmiller]

   Sounds like he should self destruct on his own soon enough. Sorry about your shop window though. I'd back off and leave him to his own devices.

[Peter Drouin]

Will the trees he's cutting hit your house?

[square1]

Ugly stumps drive me nuts.  Get out the video camera, pop some corn,  grab a beverage and watch the show ;)

[Old Greenhorn]

I will leave him largely to his own devices. His trees might reach my house, one he pointed out would be a danger and it is a 75' EWP that will clobber his house if not done right, or it could take out the power to both houses. Other than that one, not too much threat to my house. He was in a bind over the winter and my son loaned him his battery tester, it came back broken. Said he didn't know what happened, never worked. My son bought a new one.
 He starts 'project's, makes a mess, then leaves it. He was going to build a shed right on the property line next to one of my driveways. I told him I didn't mind, but he had better check the property line and check with the town on the set back requirements because they might make him move it. 2 days later he is spreading out reclaimed 4' pallets. I asked what that was and he said it was the base for his shed. I asked about a sill plate and he looked at me with a quizzical expression.  I pointed out the marshy instability of the ground and suggested he get a load of crushed stone to make a pad. Good cheap investment, I said. He said it was too much work, needed a machine. I showed him my 12 x 20 where i had spread leveled and packed 4 yards of material with wheel barrow, shovel, and rake and offered him my tools. Nope. I offered to let him come in my driveway to drop his stone right in the spot, I would clear a path. Nope. 2 days later he asks to borrow my son's dump trailer. No sorry, that is a business trailer and you don't have a vehicle that can pull it anyway.. He gets a half yard delivered to the end of his driveway, 40' from where it needs to be and he doesn't want to move it by hand. I told him it's an hour's work. Nope. So the pallets, stone, and associated mess just sit there for 3 months now. He is on to another bigger project. Some of the trees he butchered cut last spring still lay where they fell, connected to the stump. I offered to drag and pile them like I had for some others, he declined. "Nope, gonna build a tree house for the kids with those". His yard is a mess, he has 2 construction trailers and he couldn't even park them level. I don't mind that so much, it's his place, but we are getting to a point where I might start minding soon. If I called the town to complain and they came and took a look, he would have more than a few 'notices of violation' to deal with that would put him in a real bind. I don't want to do that, I'd rather work it out. But he is not too sharp on taking hints.
 I will just leave him to his own, which is mostly what I have been doing since last year, but I stay friendly, so far. He does scare me a little they way he does things. Seems like there is always ONE neighbor.. They guy behind us that I disliked and avoided for 30 years finally moved. Nice young couple bought the place for a weekend home. Now I got this guy right next door to replace him.
 It's just frustrating, I needed to vent. Now I am moving on and worrying about my own stuff. I got no time for that.

[sawguy21]

The thought of that guy building a treehouse scares me. :D My landlord is like that to a lesser degree. They decided to reside the house which it is in desperate need of, half last year and finish this year. He stripped the siding off the front and one end last summer and got the front recovered, it looks very nice but no further progress although the exposed wall is covered with Tyvek. The back yard is a mess, junk building material, a broken green house and an expensive riding mower sitting out in the weather.

[rubberfish]

 the exposed wall is covered with Tyvek. The back yard is a mess, junk building material, a broken green house and an expensive riding mower sitting out in the weather.

You have just described most of Surrey B.C.  :D  :D  :D
I think we've all had a neighbour like that. And some of us are that guy. 

[goose63]

I like all my neighbors moat of all are the ones a mile southwest of me thy all have a head stone I just dont hear a word from them at all

[Old Greenhorn]

As I type this (6:30PM, Saturday evening) he is out there right now. I am told he has been sawing the 4 hours at least. I was off teaching a neighbor to split wood all afternoon and was out of earshot. I hear his saw screaming away. He has no wood that needs a 3 minute cut through time, unless he switched to CSMing his trees down. The saw is screaming non-stop. I am dying to walk over and say  "My Gosh Man! Sharpen yo flipping chain!" I hear no load on that engine at all, just screaming. Maybe the chain is one backwards? With the amount of time I have heard that saw at speed, his place should be open prairie the next time I look at it all his trees should be stacked in 6 inch log lengths. ;D

[Old Greenhorn]

Lord, help me, I couldn't stop myself. I had to go out and see what he is cutting that takes so much time in the cut. He is limbing a pine right now mostly 2 inch branches. His cut time through a 2" branch is 20 seconds on average. on a 4 inch branch he runs a full minute and change, flat out. My wife tells me he started cutting at 11:00 am, as far as I can see he has 2 trees down. 1 5" dbh softwood (some kind of swap tree) and a 10" pine. There might be a 3rd on the other side of the house. All this time he has been limbing. now approaching 7 hours.
 In a half hour we will join some neighbors for a fire and conversation. If we can still hear him, we can just turn up the music. Right now I just feel bad for that poor saw, a nice sized Stihl that doesn't deserve that.
 I don't mind the noise of course, but this is painful to listen to.

[lxskllr]

Thanks OG. Stories like that make me feel like a pro  :^D

Keep your eyes open. A new "broken" saw may be hitting the market soon  ;^)

[Old Greenhorn]

Well, I can understand your point, but I don't think of it in terms of who is better I tried to show him some stuff and hint at a better way to do things (without getting hurt), but every time I try, he interrupts me and starts taking about how he 'knows this" and "it is easy, I got a buddy who..." After a couple of ties, I gave up. Had he played his hand differently, kept his mouth shut and his ears open, he might have learned something and had me working with him and his now 9 hours of sawing that could have been done in 2 from what I saw of the work he actually accomplished today. Guys like that will always wind up hurt. I don't want to see that, and if it happens, i will likely have to deal with it if I am home until Rescue shows up. 
 He had that saw screaming until about 9pm. We had to turn up the music over at the campfire.  ;D :D

[lxskllr]

I just like not being the dumbest person in the room, even if the room in this case is extended  :^)

I have to really like someone to do their work for them, and I'm not interested in trying to teach someone who isn't willing to learn. I'd consider your neighbor free entertainment, at least until he started regrading his lot, and causing water issues on my side. We'd have problems then. Everyone's free to be stupid on their own time, but don't inflict it on me.

[Old Greenhorn]

Yeah, well that is it right there. He hasn't hurt my place yet, but his place is a pig sty which doesn't help much. If I wanted to sell my hose, this would be a problem. There more 'projects' he starts, the more mess he makes. i am waiting for him to finish ONE thing he starts. If they stay in that house for any length of time, it will be a candidate for a dozer job when they leave.

[Peter Drouin]

Put up an 8' board fence. That way you won't see the mess and It won't bother you what he's doing.  

[LaneC]

   They have an old saying... Good fences make great neighbors :D :D. I am dealing with something very similar as well. Johny Cash has a song "I don't like it but I guess things happen that way" Great song and true.

[Peter Drouin]

Years ago I had a new neighbor down the road next to my land, One day I could hear a chainsaw cutting wood. trees coming down. 
I went for a walk. 
I get there and he walks right over to me and gets in my face. how he does not want people on his land. 
OK, I said, come with me. I show him the land pin. I said this is your land with no trees on it. And this is my land with all the trees on it.
He turns white in the face.
Now I get in his face, 1" away, I tell him to cut, split and stack the wood over here and pile the brush over there. 
And be quick about it, Don't make come back to see you. you won't like it. ;D
Two days later he was all done.

I like to nip things in the bud from the start. He moves away a year later. now I have a guy works 3 shift sleeps all day. I have a neighbor friend across the road from him, He cuts firewood for his family in the day time. The new guy comes out and tells my friend to stop, he can't sleep with the saw running. 
I show up, [just happen that way]  ;) 

I hear the bull from him.  :D :D :D :D good one. I tell him to put a female product in his ears.
With the trucks and customers coming and going, me sawing, him cutting wood you better get a day job.
All good now.

[Old Greenhorn]

Just to close this off (hopefully), I drove past yesterday and had to peek. he has 4 trees down and limbed, none are bigger than 8" on the stump. All softwoods. All the limbs lay were they fell, and he has at least one bucked into 2' lengths. They also lay where he cut them. he cut from 11am until 9pm with only 2 half hour breaks. He's got stamina, I will give him that. Monday morning everything was still laying where is was cut Saturday.

[btulloh]

That is an amazing story. It's hard to imagine using a chain that dull. Running the chain backwards would be an improvement.

[Southside]

Are you SURE there was a chain on the bar?  :D

[btulloh]

 :D :D :D :D :D

That's better than the joke about the old farmer that bought his first chainsaw, took it back to the dealer a week later because it sawed so slow.  The dealer started the saw and the old farmer yells "what's that noise?!?!?". (Maybe that jokes so old some of y'all have forgotten it.)