Top 10 ways to tell if you're a farmer

Frickman · May 05, 2004, 07:23:45 PM

This list was printed in a farm magazine a few years ago. Us sawyers can surely identify with at least a few of the items.

Top 10 ways to tell if you're a farmer

You may be a farmer if ...
1. You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket, plastic or metal.

2. You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a rented farm from 10 years ago, but struggle to recall your wife's birthday.

3. You can tell the difference between the smell of a large hog facility, a cattle feedlot, and a chicken confinement building in two whiffs or less.

4. You know cow pies aren't made of beef.

5. You have enough farm caps to match every shirt you own, but you only wear one so you don't get the others dirty.

6. You try to convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for parts is kinda like a short vacation, and a seed plot dinner is a fun night on the town.

7. You have used a tractor with a loader as scaffolding for painting or roof repairs, and have put an old 16-foot ladder in the loader bucket to get at the real high places.

8. You've used the same knife to make bull calves into steers that you use to peel apples.

9. Over 50% of your clothing came from feed, crop insurance, seed, or implement dealers.

10. If you were given a million dollars, you might farm differently, but you'd keep farming, because that is who and what you are.

Danny_S · May 05, 2004, 07:33:59 PM

:D :D I used the $40,000 staging today actually!!!!

And the knife thing..... hey, I clean it properly afterwards,... I wipe both sides of the blade on my pantleg at least twice..... ;D ;D

ARKANSAWYER · May 05, 2004, 09:04:24 PM

  Hey we need to make one up for sawyers.
  Like; If you know that FAS does not mean the First And Second board off the log, You might be a Sawyer.
  Just a thought ??? Let's see what we can get.
ARKANSAWYER

Ianab · May 05, 2004, 09:31:50 PM

Quote10. If you were given a million dollars, you might farm differently, but you'd keep farming, because that is who and what you are

Local farmer won $1m in the lottery. When asked what he was going to do he says, "prolly gonna keep on farming till it's all gone" :D

Percy · May 05, 2004, 11:57:41 PM

Nuther farmer won a million as well. News guy asks "What you gonna do with the money?". Famer says "Pay a few bills." "What about the rest?" asks the news guy. The farmer says " Theyll just have to wait." :D :D

ElectricAl · May 06, 2004, 06:01:03 AM

When a farmer friend calls you to gloat about his new cell #

560-6600.

And you both start laughing ;D

iain · May 06, 2004, 10:48:46 AM

sawyer
when your wife says

"oh goody we've stopped to look at another tree"

"how come there just HAPPENS TO BE a sawmill where ever we go on holiday"

you just know you can earn more money than you can spend if it wasnt for every thing else you had to do gettin in the way

breederman · May 07, 2004, 05:15:49 AM

Don't tell my wife-----I think I might be a farmer!

burlman · May 07, 2004, 06:59:54 PM

8)when your wife asks to borrow 20 dollars, and you pull out your wallet, a pound of sawdust falls to the floor, you might be a sawyer

redpowerd · May 07, 2004, 09:20:23 PM

i have at least two scenerios that fit each 10 applications mentioned above.rememberd vividly ;D

redpowerd · May 07, 2004, 09:21:46 PM

if your hands hold more splinters than dollars on any given day......

smwwoody · May 07, 2004, 11:43:45 PM

My wife says you might be a sawyer's wife if you always turn all pockets inside out before you put anything in the wash

Woody

ARKANSAWYER · May 10, 2004, 08:46:57 PM

If you inhale enough sawdust to meet your Dietary Fiber requirement by 9 am you might be a Sawyer.
ARKANSAWYER

redpowerd · May 11, 2004, 02:13:41 AM

or if you have enough by six a.m., you may be a farmer with a saw. ;D

Duane_Moore · May 12, 2004, 01:15:48 AM

8) 8) 8)you look at ever farm crop to see how straight the rows are. :

Duh---Duane

Minnesota_boy · May 12, 2004, 04:33:54 AM

I plant my rows parallel to the road so the neighbors can't see how crooked they are. :D

etat · May 12, 2004, 10:53:19 AM

Yep, and you can plant lots more corn on a crooked row!!!!

Duane_Moore · May 13, 2004, 12:00:32 AM

:D :D :DJust checking, I knew everybody looked, first thing I do, bad habbit, also watch the fence post. ;D Duh---Duane

Norm · May 13, 2004, 05:28:10 AM

I always look at the rows to see how straight they are when going for our Sunday drive. Also check to see how good the two passes are next to each other. Around here your judged by how straight the rows are and how clean the fields are. You can always lie about yields but not those two things.

You might be a sawyer if you lust after the red oak next door instead of the neighbors red haired wife, or during the Sunday drive you stop to look at a woodlot full of nice walnut trees.