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How big is a foot?

Started by Jim_Rogers, November 03, 2007, 03:07:02 PM

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Jim_Rogers


I found this one recently and I thought it was a good story:

HOW BIG IS A FOOT? Written by ROLF MYLLER

Three feet make a yard.
Five and a half yards make a rod.
Forty rods make a furlong.
Eight furlongs make a mile.
Three miles make a league.

But, how big is a foot?

The question is a good one.

And Rolf Myller undertakes to answer it.

The answer is really, "Well it all depends."
What it depends upon rests upon the answers to such questions as "How big is a bed?", "How big is the foot of the King?", and "How big is the foot of a small apprentice carpenter?" Furthermore, it might even have something to do with how good a sculptor a king might call in, in an emergency.
Here is a story full of nonsense, and an almost equal amount of sense. What it means will depend upon the reader; but basically it means a good story that even young children will enjoy reading to themselves.


Once upon a time there lived a king and his wife, the Queen.
They were a happy couple for they had everything in the World.
However...when the Queen's birthday came near the King had a problem: What could he give to someone who had everything?

The King thought and he thought and he thought until suddenly, he had an idea!
HE WOULD GIVE THE QUEEN A BED. The Queen did not have a bed because at the time beds had not been invented. So even someone who had everything did not have a bed. The King called his Prime Minister and asked him to please have a bed made. The Prime Minister called the Chief Carpenter and asked him to please have a bed made. The Chief Carpenter called the apprentice and told him to make a bed.  "How big is a bed?" asked the apprentice, who didn't know because at the time nobody had ever seen a bed. "How big is a bed?" the Carpenter asked the Prime Minister. "A good question," said the Prime Minister. And he asked the King, "HOW BIG IS THE BED?" The King thought and he thought and he thought until suddenly he had an idea! THE BED MUST BE BIG ENOUGH TO FIT THE QUEEN. The King called the Queen. He told her to put on her new pajamas and told her to lie on the floor. The King took off his shoes and with his bare feet walked carefully around the Queen. He counted that. The bed must be THREE FEET WIDE AND SIX FEET LONG to be big enough to fit the Queen. (Including the crown, which the Queen sometimes liked to wear to sleep.)

The King said, "Thank you," to the Queen, and told the Prime Minister, who told the Chief Carpenter, who told the apprentice: "The bed must be three feet wide and six feet long to be big enough to fit the Queen." (Including the crown, which she sometimes liked to wear to sleep.)
The apprentice said, "Thank you," and took off his shoes, and with his little feet he measured and Three feet wide Six feet long.
And made a bed to fit the Queen. When the King saw the bed, he thought it was beautiful. He could not wait for the Queen's   Birthday. Instead, he called the Queen at once and told her to put on her new pajamas. Then he brought out the bed and told the Queen to try it. But the bed was much too small for the Queen. The King was so angry that he immediately called the Prime Minister who called the Chief Carpenter who called the jailer who threw the apprentice into jail.
The apprentice was unhappy. WHY WAS THE BED TOO SMALL FOR THE QUEEN?
He thought and he thought and he thought. Until suddenly he had an idea! A bed that was three King's feet wide and six King's feet long was naturally bigger than a bed that was three apprentice feet wide and six apprentice feet long. "I CAN MAKE A BED TO FIT THE QUEEN IF I KNOW THE SIZE OF THE KING'S FOOT,"
He explained this to the jailer, who explained it to the Chief Carpenter, who explained it to the Prime Minister, who explained it to the King, who was much to busy to go to jail.
Instead, the King took off one shoe and called a famous sculptor. The sculptor made an exact marble copy of the King's foot. This was then sent to the jail.
The apprentice took the marble copy of the King's foot, and with it he measured three feet wide and six feet long and built a bed to fit the Queen! Three feet wide and six feet long the bed was ready just in time for the Queen's Birthday.
The King called the Queen and told her to put on her new pajamas. Then he brought out the New Bed
And told the Queen to try it. The Queen got into bed and ...THE BED FIT THE QUEEN PERFECTLY.
(Including the crown which she sometimes liked to wear to sleep.)
It was, without a doubt, the nicest gift that the Queen had ever received. The King was very happy.
He immediately called the apprentice from jail and made him a royal prince. He ordered a big parade, and all the people came out to cheer the little apprentice prince.
And forever after, anyone who wanted to measure anything used a copy of the King's foot.
And when someone said, "My bed is six feet long and three feet wide,"
Everyone knew exactly how big it was.
THE END
Whatever you do, have fun doing it!
Woodmizer 1994 LT30HDG24 with 6' Bed Extension

Thehardway

Jim,

Great story, thanks for sharing.  I shared this with my group at work.  This is clearly an example of how vertically oriented management practices can result in waste and inefficiency.  It is also an example of how a homeowner to be can be disappointed by their contractor if details are not discussed thoroughly.

I have seen several examples where carpenters had to resort to "marble shoe" methods to find out what the homeowner really had in mind. Unfortunately not all of these stories have had such a happy ending
Norwood LM2000 24HP w/28' bed, Hudson Oscar 18" 32' bed, Woodmaster 718 planer,  Kubota L185D, Stihl 029, Husqvarna 550XP

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