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Very troubled

Started by Frank_Pender, June 29, 2006, 05:01:10 PM

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Frank_Pender

I guess I did it to myself again.  ;D ;D  I have waited almost two years for a response/return of a promise.    A memeber of this Forum contacted me about acquireing several varieties/species of wood that I had sawed here on the Tree Farm.  I said, "Sure", I would send him a box or two of blocks and he in turn would make me a bowl from some of the blocks and keep the rest for his segmented turnings.  I have yet to hear of or see the bowl.   Never, again, will I send such items to anyone for such things.  I suppose it is my own fault for being so DANG trusting of people who talk a good line, but fail to follow through with their promises of what to do with what is sent.   The jerk from Vermont will get his upcomings as well, one day. >:( :( :( >:( >:(
Frank Pender

sawguy21

Could have been worse, at least it was only some blocks of wood.  I tend to trust people more than I should too.
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm

joelmar10

I used to think I could fix DanG near anything...now I know I can...or I think I can...or maybe I can?

asy

Frank.

I think most all of us have been in similar situations at one time or other.

It's VERY frustrating, I sympathise with you.

I've discovered there are two things you can do after something like this happens:

1: Let it eat you up.

2: Let it go.

It's pretty much that simple. It's hard to let it go, but gotta tellya it's freeing.

Never give something to someone on a promise unless you're willing to GIVE It to them. It's like lending money to relatives.

Take a deep breath, let it out, let the anger go, and know that you're the better person.

asy :D

PS: Have you tried to contact the person and say "ah-hem" remember me?

Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
There cannot be a crisis next week. ~My schedule is already full..

Jeff

Another thing to remember is that we never may know all the conditions that lead to such a situation. It may simply be forgetfulness, perhaps illness or even death. What if something happened in his family such has happened to buzz sawyer, but we were not informed?  Some of us tend to keep deeply personal matters inside or within a small group. Other financial obligations may have taken precedence. ANY number of things can happen. I know of members that had been gone for months without contact or being on the forum as an Internet connection or replacement of a broken computer just simply was not in the budget.  I hope dearly that this is not the case with this member and when they eventually read this. If it is, I apologize to you.
Just call me the midget doctor.
Forestry Forum Founder and Chief Cook and Bottle Washer.

Commercial circle sawmill sawyer in a past life for 25yrs.
Ezekiel 22:30

Furby


joelmar10

Quote from: Jeff B on June 29, 2006, 06:35:31 PM
Another thing to remember is that we never may know all the conditions that lead to such a situation. It may simply be forgetfulness, perhaps illness or even death. What if something happened in his family such has happened to buzz sawyer, but we were not informed?  Some of us tend to keep deeply personal matters inside or within a small group. Other financial obligations may have taken precedence. ANY number of things can happen. I know of members that had been gone for months without contact or being on the forum as an Internet connection or replacement of a broken computer just simply was not in the budget.  I hope dearly that this is not the case with this member and when they eventually read this. If it is, I apologize to you.

that's what i was getting at.  if he isn't still around, who knows what happened?
I used to think I could fix DanG near anything...now I know I can...or I think I can...or maybe I can?

Frank_Pender

I know you are all correct and all, but I guess that I am one for letting folks know if I have to wait or something to get a job completed.  Must have been raised different, somehow. :'(
Frank Pender

beenthere

Frank
You got a big heart for sending these things, now to be patient, as you may get it back in other ways or in other forms, many times over.
south central Wisconsin
It may be that my sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others

woodbowl

Quote from: asy on June 29, 2006, 06:22:40 PM


I've discovered there are two things you can do after something like this happens:

1: Let it eat you up.

2: Let it go.





Asy is right, Frank. I'm guilty of doing both and learned that letting it go may be hard to begin with but pays big dividends in every way.

I've found that it sometimes cost money to find out who your friends are. When you take a chance on someone and it concerns money or things, and you lost 99 times out of 100, that one friend that you found is worth it all. Money has seperated many a friendship. I think we're very fortunate if we have one or two real friends in this life. Naturally we feel that we have a lot more than that, but a real friend to me is one that is there when the chips are up or down, money or not.

Hopefully, nothing life changing has happened like Jeff has mentioned.
Full time custom sawing at the customers site since 1995.  WoodMizer LT40 Super Hyd.

Gary_C

Frank

If you let this get to you, it will cost you more than it's worth.

Just let it go.

Gary
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

woodmills1

bty

there is a shipment of walnut I sent to a turning member of this forum I havent heard a word about

post paid ship  bty


I am a very trusting person..............but burn me    :P
James Mills,Lovely wife,collect old tools,vacuuming fool,36 bdft/hr,oak paper cutter,ebonic yooper rapper nauga seller, Blue Ox? its not fast, 2 cat family, LT70,edger, 375 bd ft/hr, we like Bob,free heat,no oil 12 years,big splitter, baked stuffed lobster, still cuttin the logs dere IAM

low_48

Know how you feel Frank. At least you didn't have any cash lost. Must be those East Coasters >:( I bought a Ford Thunderbird on Ebay that had a fiberglass kit on it to look like a '50 Ford. Absolutely no problems with the car you know. With a one way ticket I flew out to Providence to drive it back to IL. The car died 3 times on the way back to his shop. I refused the car and bought a fiberglass kit from the guy. I got the two week speech for delivery. It will be 3 years this fall, no kit.  We have talked a couple of times, delivery still expected :D I have $3700 in that little learning experience. Remember, it could always be worse. :-[

Ron Wenrich

I must be a little different.  When I send or give something to someone, I don't attach anything - like expectations.  I have given services, material and money with the expectation that there would be nothing in return, even though something is offered.  Since I haven't attached expectations, anything I receive back is a bonus. 

But, then, I'm an East Coaster.   ;)
Never under estimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

twoodward15

Frank, I am with Ron on this one.  All you can hope for is that this person "Pays it forward".   An example?  Burlkraft sent me a monstrous box of burl pieces and some curly wood.  No money necessary.  I thanked him for the box (hopefully graciously enough as I couldn't believe what he sent).  I'm trying to get some stuff together for another member that needs something.  If we all worked on that principle things would be great and free stuff would be flying all over the forum.  Let's just hope that person maybe found someone else that needed something and he got them what they needed.
108 ARW   NKAWTG...N      Jersey Thunder

asy

That's the point I was trying to make.

Aside from the obvious, that the member may have had a disaster befall them and may have simply not been ABLE to repay what was owed...

I guess it's like the 'Forum Box'. I've currently got it sitting here next to me. It was sent with no expectations by da Boss and Bossette. I'm currently in the throes of putting together a goodie pack for one of our forumites, and the box will be sent back across the waves.

It's paying forward.

asy :D
Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
There cannot be a crisis next week. ~My schedule is already full..

woodmills1

I sent the turning wood with no strings, however the return e-mails made great promisises about what I was to expect in return.  Words like, I will take care of you.  Part of what I am about is trust and following up on my word.  If you don't want to do something just say so....but, ifin ya says blah blah blah then it should happen blah blah blah.

My father passed away this April.  It was a hard, emotional and trying time for me and my family, however I did call all of the customers that I had made time based promises to.
James Mills,Lovely wife,collect old tools,vacuuming fool,36 bdft/hr,oak paper cutter,ebonic yooper rapper nauga seller, Blue Ox? its not fast, 2 cat family, LT70,edger, 375 bd ft/hr, we like Bob,free heat,no oil 12 years,big splitter, baked stuffed lobster, still cuttin the logs dere IAM

Max sawdust

Great advice in this thread 8)

With smaller things I like to trust people.  I consider it a test, you soon weed through and find who is truly trustworthy and who is not.  Unfortunately some people can not be trusted with much, and I only hope the experience helps them grow :(

Sure would be nice to get back to a world were a handshake or one's name was all that was needed to close a deal. 

Think of a world without people like Frank :o  Thanks to all of you who go out on a limb and trust once in a while
max

True Timbers
Cedar Products-Log & Timber Frame Building-Milling-Positive Impact Forestscaping-Cut to Order Lumber

JimBuis

Frank,
Being kind and forgiving are virtues.  I would like to suggest that you share the specifics with Jeff offline.  Let Jeff know enough that he can be an informed impartial observer.  There is always another side to a story.  However, it would also be wise to equip Jeff and our administrators to watch carefully for the occasional shark who may be swimming the waters. The admin team can decide who is a shark and who is not.

IMHO,
Jim
Jim Buis                             Peterson 10" WPF swingmill

Radar67

Quote from: twoodward15 on June 30, 2006, 07:05:45 AM
I thanked him for the box (hopefully graciously enough as I couldn't believe what he sent).

I received one of those boxes as well, man was I surprised. I too passed on some of the wood and am making gifts for others with the wood. "Pay it Forward" is a good way of life.

Stew
"A man's time is the most valuable gift he can give another." TOM

If he can cling to his Blackberry, I can cling to my guns... Me

This will kill you, that will kill you, heck...life will kill you, but you got to live it!

"The man who can comprehend the why, can create the how." SFC J

joelmar10

Quote from: Ron Wenrich on June 30, 2006, 05:52:37 AM
I must be a little different.  When I send or give something to someone, I don't attach anything - like expectations.  I have given services, material and money with the expectation that there would be nothing in return, even though something is offered.  Since I haven't attached expectations, anything I receive back is a bonus. 

But, then, I'm an East Coaster.   ;)

I try to do it this way too.  Whether it be loans, material, time, energy, whatever.  Even love.  That way I am never let down.  Sometimes it's hard, but The Master (not my wife, btw  ;D ) says to do it that way.  Something about the extra mile, I believe.  Done preaching.
I used to think I could fix DanG near anything...now I know I can...or I think I can...or maybe I can?

Quartlow

Quote from: woodmills1 on June 30, 2006, 07:27:36 AM
I sent the turning wood with no strings, however the return e-mails made great promisises about what I was to expect in return.  Words like, I will take care of you.  Part of what I am about is trust and following up on my word.  If you don't want to do something just say so....but, ifin ya says blah blah blah then it should happen blah blah blah.

My father passed away this April.  It was a hard, emotional and trying time for me and my family, however I did call all of the customers that I had made time based promises to.

That would be me  ::) I'll be the first to admit I ain't perfect. Sometimes it takes me a while to get things done. My wife will tell you I am the biggest procrastanater in the world. I never said when I would just that I would. It did make 5 nice peppermill blanks and thats where they still are, blanks. To be honest I had pretty much forgotten they where even down there. In fact I had to go down there and snoop around just to find them.

A lot of other things are on the front burner. I've been 18 months with a blown up truck that is just now getting put together. And its only getting done because a nephew helped me out with buying the engine.

The Cabinets and wall units for my sister are on the middle burner.
Part of my rent comes from helping out around cousins farm.
If I want to eat all winter the garden gets put on the front burner.
And If I'm lucky I get a saw job every once in a while.

I do what I can when I can. I usually have good intentions, it just doesn't always work out that way.
If anyone here thinks less of me for it, well so be it

I apoligize for not getting it done sooner. But if it was bugging you a simple pm asking what was up was all that was needed.
Breezewood 24 inch mill
Have a wooderful day!!

etat

I've been down on my luck a few times.  I remember once long long long long time ago being much the same way.  No vehicle, no place to live, no job and basically homeless except for a friend that took me in and helped me get a job so that I could get started trying to put my life together and get back on my feet.  .

It took me years to get myself back together and get back on my feet.  This woulda been somewhere around 1978 give or take.

I guess I'm saying I wish you the best and GOOD LUCk with your garden!   Heck, thats the best kind of eating anyway!!!!! 
Old Age and Treachery will outperform Youth and Inexperence. The thing is, getting older is starting to be painful.

isawlogs

Hey , dont feel bad Quartlow , you aint alone with the back burner blues . I have so many things going , that it is hard to come up with priority number one , I have yet to send some sirop to Asy that I said I would ... I will but just when is ... I dont know  ::) Got to get the right box , get to the canner .. had some canned for her last spring , but a teenage son of mine got hungry  ::) Cant leave anything laying around that is edible when his belly gets to humming  :D Have some bearings here that need be sent to Joan , good thing she aint in a hurry for them ....
   I never expect anything , just darn happy when I go to the mail box and find a package , Christmas all over again , Life is to short to get upset over little things like this . There is a time for every thing , when its time comes around it will happen ,

  There is a reason behind every thing we do, and a reason to do what we do and when we do do it . It'll happen just give it time .  ;)
   
A man does not always grow wise as he grows old , but he always grows old as he grows wise .

   Marcel

treecyclers

And so it goes with the "Law of Prioirities"
Unfortunately, there are times that things get pushed back that we really should handle promptly, and I am affected by this as anyone else in the world.
I find that, when I list out everything that I have on the board on a tablet, and keep it on my desk right in front of my computer, I am much more able to accomplish everything that's on that list, as I have it written down, instead of having to try nad remember it all, which is a losing battle every time.
I often get little projects that take an hour or two to complete, such as packing a box for shipment, sending a quote via email or snail mail, and things of that nature that I stuff in between the bigger things, like a cutting project, log pick up, or big order that takes days to complete.
I am also a fan of a courtesy reminder, periodically, which I escalate in intensity as time progresses.
It begins with a "Hi! I do hope that you're enjoying the XXXX that was shipped to you and received by so and so on such and such date, who signed for the package we sent to you in good faith. It has been a period of time since we last heard from you, and we wanted to make sure that you were happy with what we shipped you, that everything was to your liking, and htat we delivered what was promised or better. As a reminder, we have not received payment as of yet, adn we would sincerely appreciate it if you would take a few moments to contact us to make the necessary arrangements for payment, or write a check and drop it in the mail to us. The total amount due is XXXXX, and we accept payment by check, cash, or credit card for your convenience. If we may be of further assistance, please contact us at xxx xxx xxxx.
Sincerely,
Me
El Presidente
My company
My website
my email
my phone number

After two of those gentle reminders, I escalate the intensity to something like "We have contacted you on X occasions, to ensure that you are pleased with your purchase from us, but unfortunately, we have not heard from you.
Please remit payment for XXXX immediately, to prevent your account from going to collections. As stated in our company policy, we do add charges for collections as is provided for in the State of Arizona, and we'd hate to do that to you.
In the event that we have not recieved payment or contact by X date, we will refer your account to collections, which may result in negative impact on your credit, additional charges on your account, and being prohibited from doing business with us in the future.
Sincerely,
Me
El Presidente
My company
My website
my email
my phone number

If that doesn't work, and the entity is within a reasonable drive for me, I have been known to pull an unannounced visit with an invoice first thing in the morning, arriving when the chickens wake up.
I add the cost of my time and fuel to the invoice, as well. I have only had to do that once, and the guy knew I was serious, and he cut me a check on the spot for the full amount.

While there will always be people that try to get something for nothing, ludicrous terms in their favor, and other crazy things like that, the vast majority of people that I do business with are excellent, pay promptly, and rarely do I have to go past one payment reminder. I love those folks.
Hope that helps!
SD
I wake up in the morning, and hear the trees calling for me...come make us into lumber!

Frank_Pender

Well, folks, I got a reply from the person that was sent the blocks of wood.   Now, you must know, I did not attatch any strings to the boxes, the offer was from the other end.   I did not request an object in return, it all came from the other way.    For those that suggested that I bag the whole thing, I had, until a couple days ago, when soemthing triggered the sending.  I did not beleive that I would cause such a collection of responses. 

We all get busy, I know.  I had a brother-in-law die in the arms of my wife (his oldest sister of six girls and then he being the ungest boy of six boys)  last Saturday morning at 2:30am..   Service on last Weds. and he will be placed here on the Tree Farm in the near future.   Took Wife to hospital this morning for four hours of special surgery.   More problems that the folks thought and took another hour longer. 

Please, no comments or well wishes.  All is ok as of this hour and the prognosis is fantastic at this time. 

Sop, you see, I know how things that cascade and accumulate to where we all let things slip, or put aside with the best intentions.

I did not mean to stir a hornets nest over such an issue. 

If some of you really knew me, you would realize that I pretty well fit all of the descriptions mentioned and then some.  Sometimes we do not know the pebbles under anothers moccasins, let alone the mud that may already be ooozzzzzing through their toes.

Then, to top of my evening, I was honored with the presence of one son, one doughter-in-law and two grandchildren for my birthday.   The brought pizza, cards and snicker doodles.   After chowing down, we all took a tour of the Tree Farm in a gator.  What a delicious day.
Frank Pender

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