A drug problem!

[etat]

I run across this piece and it got me to thinking.  I hadn't ever realized I'd ever had a drug problem up til I read it.  I reckon things coulda been worser.  A  vast majority of the following about drugs applies to ME at one time or another. 



MY DRUG PROBLEM


The other day, someone at a store in a small town read that a

methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farm house in the adjoining

county and he asked me a rhetorical question, "Why didn't we have a drug

problem when you and I were growing up?"


"I did have a drug problem when I was a kid growing up."

I was drug to church on Sunday morning.
I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.
I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.

I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.


I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a
lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke

ill of the teacher or the preacher. Or if I didn't put forth my best

effort in everything that was asked of me.
I was drug to the kitchen sink if I uttered a profane four letter
word.

( I do know what Lye soap tastes like.)
I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and
cockleburs out of dad's fields.

I was drug to the homes of Family, Friends, and Neighbors to help out

some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline,
or

chop some fire wood, and if my mother had ever known that I took a
single  dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the wood shed.

Those drugs are still in my veins; and they affect my behavior in

everything I do, say, and think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack

or

heroin, and if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America

might just be a better place today.

Don'tchya think

[EZ]

I totally agree with ya, cktate. As a child I had that same drug problem. The world is crazy with the rules they have now. The things that we were told to do back then is called child slaviery now. : God help us all.
EZ

[Roxie]

amen

[tnlogger]

yup i think  ;D  as we think back now the things we were druged to do was called respect and  manners.
Not enough of that in todays world.

[farmerdoug]

I think the youth of today has to much free time to get into trouble.  When I was a kid we had plenty of work to do on the farm.  If I were to get in trouble it was assumed I needed more work to keep me busy.  So I was very careful to stay out of trouble.  As much work as it was I would not trade it for the world.  I think kids would be alot more respectful if they were made to work a little.  If you hire someone today they feel you owe them a paycheck and working is not nessecary.  All they know is that they want this and want that, and that is why so many people are in debt up to their eyeballs today.

[asy]

I am going to print this out and make my kids read it...

It's just FANTASTIC!!!

Thank you so VERY much for posting it...

Must say I totally agree, more kids need this kind of drug problem.

My 'poor' kids have this problem, and they think they are hard done by, little do they know...

My Daughter got into trouble at school for being belligerent toward the teacher (her father has her convinced that she doesn't have to listen to anyone except him...  I have her now convinced that's incorrect) (he needs to be drug behind the woolshed! hehe).. Anyway, she, um, had the opportunity to spend the day at home due to her behaviour, so, come school time, she was marched out into the yard, and given a pair of gloves and pointed at the somewhat overgrown weed beds, oh, sorry...  GARDEN...

She was told, If she didn't study and be respectful, the only job she'd be able to get would be pullin' weeds, so she may as well see if she likes it. She worked till 4.15, with a 15 minute lunch break. That's a fair day for an 8yo.  And she WORKED!!! 

Must say, I did feel sorry for her, a little, not much, but a little...  But last night, she was exhausted, and she came and sat on my lap and said...  Mummy, I love you...  You will make sure I'm a good person, won't you...  I said..  Yup. If I have to have the best looked after garden in the suburb, you bet I will.

They have jobs, they have rules, and it's still really hard...  (I'm sure many of you have been there, and with more of them).

Oh, and here's a giggle for you:

Last night, my Son got into trouble for yelling at his sister and throwing pieces of a game around the room when she didn't want to play with him. He was really angry, and yelling at her. It was the end of a few days of being generally naughty, and it was time for the spoon...  So, Off I trundled into the kitchen and fished a spoon out of the stand.

Went back into the lounge room, and waved the spoon in the air...  He lay on the floor screaming that he didn't want a smack, and protecting his bottom with a pillow...  It suddenly occurred to me that I was using the EXACT same spoon my mum used to smack me with... and he was protecting his butt with the EXACT same couch pillow I used to protect mine with...   Gotta love those hand-me-downs...  Anyway, I fell about laughing, and he couldn't figure it out until I explained. He said: Oh, did you REALLY Used to get smacked too??   I said, um, yeeeeas...  How do you think I behave so well now!!! 

Then I asked him...
Have you EVER seen me yell at my mum? He said: No.
Have you EVER seen me throw things around? He said: No.
Have you EVER seen me be rude toward my Mum? He said: No.

I said... well, I want the SAME for you.

I think he actually understood.

Gosh I hope so.

asy :D

[maple flats]

I also had the same drug problem and I can say that my wife and I had 4 kids and they also had the same type of drug problem. That might be why they make us sooo verrry proud of them today. Each one is doing absolutel great and has turned out to be goood people. Hum, do you think it really could be their drug problem? 8) 8) ??? ???

[Cedarman]

We live out in the boonies so to speak and town such as it is is 4 miles away. Every once in awhile when the kids were younger they would say they were bored.  My eyes would light up because, now I knew they had free time and just didn't know what to do with it.  Sad thing about it was they learned that saying bored was like saying a 4 letter word and nothing good would come of it from their point of view. I firmly believe in giving my kids plenty of work, plenty of responcibility and a good bit of free time so they can enjoy the fruits of their labors

When I was in school I had the opportunity to work in the cafeteria. We got free meals and money to boot. And cleaning out the malt machine was such a chore :D :D. They won't let kids work in school any more. We were paid so much per day whether we took 1/2 hour or 2 hours.  We learned to be extremely efficient, so as to have free time.

It is against the law for young kids to work in stores.

I am all for keeping them drugged.  Good post cktate.

[Faron]

Cedarman-  It was always amusing to watch the verbal gymnastics my girls occasionally got into to avoid saying the dreaded "bored" word.  They found out early that, like you, I had a sure fire cure for boredom.  In fact, once I got started I could line up enough jobs to cure boredom for weeks.   ;D  What is really amusing these days is to sit back and hear some of the lines their mother and I used -that they really hated- coming out of their mouths to THEIR children.  ;) I just LOVE to point that out and watch them close their eyes, press their fingertips to their temples, and shake their heads. ;D

[KiwiCharlie]

Hi Asy,
I liked your post a lot - thats a good approach to parenting.  Different than the pasts ways (like mine!) but a very good and successful way.
Thanks for sharing.
Cheers
Charlie.

[Norm]

Ahhh yes the dreaded "I'm bored" my sons learned early not to say those words to me also. As they grew up we raised much of our food and their job before breakfast was to do chores. Took most of a half an hour but you would have thought it was much worse. We got them up at 6am and into bed at 8pm. Patty was talking to my son a couple of weeks ago, she came in laughing about all the things we had told them they were now using on us. She asked him to do something and he said "we'll see" kind of like when they would ask us for something while growing up.

Asy your story reminded me of when my youngest was 3 or so. He was being bad and received a swat with my hand on his hindend. He gave me this belligerent look and stated "that didn't hurt!" He never made that mistake again. :D

[johncinquo]

I musta had a crack problem then.....







When I was naughty I got whooped on the crack of my..................................






I also recall hearing "your gonna get one heckuva crack if you keep that up!"


:D :D

Yeah I have random flash backs and I think I have become my dad and my mom, all wrapped into one. 

You keep making that face its going to freeze like that!
If you dont finish it for dinner, your gonna have it for breakfast!
Do I look like I am made of money?
You lost it, you go find it!
Do you think the dishes fairy is going to visit us later?
No, clothes do not walk themselves to the laundry room. 
Sure, you can have that, let me know when you have the money for it and we'll go buy one. 


Thats alright, it must be working.  My boy wanted a new game so I put him to work putting up some fencing.  He hauled 8' metal fence poles all day long down a fence line all day and put em in the holes.  He earned his money, and a bonus to boot! 

[asy]

You know, the worst thing these days is, these kids are taught they have 'rights'...

My son came home and told me he had rights, and that I didn't care about his 'human rights'...

I said..  Yes I do!!!

You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you do, you will be TOLD to do by me.
You have the right to leave home.
Should you choose to do so, you will leave the same way you came in, naked and screaming.



This was only recently. What ARE they telling the kids!!!!!

Oh, also:

I remember when he was about 5.

He was told to clean his room.

He told me to get out of his room, it was HIS ROOM!!! And I was not allowed in, and it was "none of my business" whether his room was clean or messy.

I said OK, and left.

Shut his door...  He thought he'd won...  How wrong he was...

After about half an hour, his door opened, and he started to walk out...  I said, HEY!!  Where do you think you are going???

He said... "To the toilet"...    I knew I had him then...  hehehe

I said...  No you aren't!

He said...  Why not???

I said...   'Coz it's MY HOUSE. That may be YOUR ROOM, but this is MY HOUSE, and I don't choose to allow you into it. So, you stay in YOUR ROOM, minding YOUR BUSINESS, but stay out of MY HOUSE.

He said...  But I have to go to the toilet!!! 

I said...  Well, pee out the window. I don't care, but you aren't coming into my house with that serious lack of respect you seem to think it's OK to have.

He danced around in his room for a little while, not liking the idea of peeing out the window (since it was the dead of winter and he was too small to even open the window, and I reminded him that I wasn't allowed in 'his room' to open it for him).

Took him a minute or two till his bladder made up his mind for him and he flew out of his room like a greyhound out of a gate, yelling "Sorry mum, I'll clean it" as he ran madly down the hallway to the loo...

Needless to say, straight after the loo, he was put back into 'his room' and made to tidy it up.

He's kept it pretty straight since.

The girl, however, when she got to about that age, decided that she wasn't going to tidy her room...

She said...  You are my mother, you should clean it.

Well, you can imagine how well THAT went down...

I walked in there with a garbage bag and commenced picking things up and putting them in the bag.

She said, What are you doing??????    <panic>

I said, WEll, I clean up MY stuff, so if I have to clean this up, it must mean it's MY stuff. And since I don't really need Barbies and Teddies, they can all go to goodwill.

Boy did she move fast to save what was left.

That which had ALREADY gone into the bag (which I was careful were her favourite things) had to be earned back with chores.  hehehe

She still has room tidying problems, but we are still working on it.

asy :D

[etat]

:D :D :D :D 

[Cedarman]

I have always looked at raising kids as a line problem. I put down the line and the kids find the line and do there best to get as close as possible, but not go over.  They also push on the line as hard as they can to see if it will move.  If they cross the line, there is always a penalty.  I teach cause and effect.  If you do this or don't do this, then this is the consequence.  I have to be careful to make sure I can follow through with what I say.  Too often I hear parents say if you do this one more thim you won't get (name something) for a week.  The kid does it and the parents whine some more. Guess what the kid learned.  Keep doing it cause nothing is going to happen.
The kids know what I say is chiseled in concrete. Makes disciplining easier. (I did not say easy). 

I do not think it matters where the line is drawn for each family, that is a family's decision. Some are more lenient then others, but the kids are much happier if they have boundaries set for them.  It makes it easy to blame the parents when their peers want them to do something they shouldn't. "Mom won't let me do that". Helps them get out of something they didn't want to do anyway, but helps them save face with their "friends".

2 down , 2 to go

[Paul_H]

Cedarman,

What you said about following through is true.I was standing in a line at the grocery store a few years ago and a boy of about 5 years old was tearing the place apart.
His mother kept harping at him to stop "Jason,come here,Jason put that back,do you want to go sit in the car? Jason,Jason,JASON! etc etc.

The kid paid no never mind to her and she kept assaulting our ears with her empty threats so I walked over and quietly said to her

"I don't think that's his name,maybe try another and see if that works"

She turned a little red and went over and got him.

[Furby]

 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[Corley5]

I never saw it as a drug problem, it was just how it was done.  The chores were done daily, wood was cut when needed, when there was work to do on the farm I worked with Dad and Grandpa and we got the job done.  I started going with them before I was really big enough to do much.  At another stage in my life the only drug problem I thought I had was when I didn't have any so maybe it was a problem ??? ;) :(  If it was it's long since been solved  ;)  8)

[asy]

Paul, That's an Absolute CLASSIC!!!   ;D

My kids certainly push on the line, sometimes they fall over, and the correction is small but firm, sometimes they take a running jump and land WAAAAAAAAAAAY over the other side, in this case I get gardening done  :D  And lots of it.  (or other chores... as needs doing).

This has been a great thread, thanks!

asy :D

[Fla._Deadheader]

  I gotta add this one. Grandmama used to get visits from the Jehova Witness bunch.

  One day, my little boy kid, "the Diver", was a visitin Grandmama, when the Witnesses dropped by. He was about 10 years old.  In their infinite wisdom, one of them asked ole Eddard if he reads books. Says he, "yes Maam".  She whips out the little book and starts thumbin through it, and stops on an interesting topic.

  Are you bored!  She asks, Do you get bored young man ??


  Little Eddard replies, " No Maam, my Daddy always has something for me to do, so I NEVER get bored". ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D  Grandmama must have told that story a hunnert times.  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[palmerstreeservice]

As i read this I think back to the conversation that several of us officers had the other day...  At the end of our discussion it was determined that by purchasing a kitchen table, a large percentage of our problems would go away.   

It was also determined that if the punishment out weighed the benifits from the crime the crimes would eventually stop.   

For example:

if the punishment for Meth use was life in prison or even death, one would choose not to even try it for if they were caught they would have to face the punishment.  Too many time I have seen on the street, criminals intentionally breaking the law because they know that the punishment will be minimal so in thier eyes it is well worth it.   SOMETHING WRONG WITH OUR SYSTEM AT THAT POINT!

[J_T]

Always hate to here some parent say i'm not going to tell you again for the hmpth teen time . ??? I never made that mistake  and if I had to reach for my belt it was too late. Was out eating a while back with my son and there were some roudy kids raising cain and I over heard him tell their mother she needed to settle them down as he didn't want to here it . They left. 8) 8)

[Roxie]

A very wise man told me when my first son was born, that the biggest favor I would ever do for my child is to make him a nice person to be around.
Thanks Dad....

[asy]

Agree totally with Roxie's last post!

I often say to my kids, when they say they don't like me, I answer...  "That's OK, Parenthood is not a popularity contest".

I think this is where many go wrong. They think their job is to be their kids friend, and to make sure their kids like them at any cost.  And it DOES cost...

Funny thing happened tonight, Stephie and I went to the Greengrocer after school. First we decided that we'd have Chicken Stew tonight for dinner, well, OK, I decided and steered her to it... 

I made a list of which veggies we'd use, and we went through how to choose the best of each veggie. Then we set off to the Greengrocer. She went through with her list, asking questions and checking them all. A couple of times I overrode her decision and we talked about why. Like I decided on only half a Cauliflower because the whole ones were too expensive, and I overrode her choice of cucumbers because I thought the Zucchini I had called for would probably go better in the stew
She had chosen the plumpest greenest freshest ones, and they DID look like zucchini, but she'd forgotten to look at the end for confirmation of species! hehe :D

We got home and set to cooking. It's the best time of day for discussion, and I must say, when they get home and I say "How was school?" I usually get "yeah, ok" but cooking together seems to bring all the troubles and stories to the fore.

I didn't realise till tonight just how much I am teaching her about life while we cook. She dropped the peeler on the floor and said "Oh Jeeesus"...  I took the opportunity to discuss with her that whilst this wasn't a 'swear word' in the conventional sense, a lot of people would get very offended if they heard her say that. Then we discussed why, and talked about people who we knew who may be offended.

She apologised and said she would be more careful.  I explained to her that irrespective of her or even my views, everyone was entitled to their beliefs and that we should try to never disrespect other people's beliefs or cause them discomfort.

Amazing what can be achieved whilst chopping up a carrot or two...

asy :D

[Cedarman]

If you are a parent to your kids when they are little, at some point in time when they grow up and leave the house they become friends.  I think if you don't parent when small, they may not become friends when they mature.
I still have 2 kids, one of which is at college and is in the transitional stage, and 2 married and friends. One runs our business in Ok and we talk every day, some business and some just talk.  The other we see Sunday at church and go out to eat together as families and other times get together. We get to see the grandkids often.  Life is good!!!