The Forestry Forum

General Forestry => Sawmills and Milling => Topic started by: landscraper on December 23, 2016, 06:51:19 PM

Title: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: landscraper on December 23, 2016, 06:51:19 PM
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land
Both hardwoods and softwoods grew in even-aged stands
The sawyers all rested, deeply in slumber
Dreaming of tall stacks of FAS lumber

No exception was I, fully a-doze
Til woken by a sound from Microsoft Windows
I stumbled to the computer with little decorum,
and saw I was still logged into the Forestry Forum
It was an incoming PM, sent for some cause
By no one other than his jolliness, username:Santa Claus

"Dear Landscraper" it began, "I hope you are well,
Now listen to the tale that I sadly must tell.
I'm down for the count, under the weather,
and unable to gather my presents together.
I'm standing in need, I could use your assistance,
and I'm hoping you don't give me any resistance.
So however you can, (and you will, I have a hunch),
please pick fitting gifts for the Forestry Forum bunch.
Your Brother In Sawdust", it stated in closing,
"My good luck and best wishes I'm surely enclosing."

I paused and I panicked, my heart in my throat,
How could I keep the Christmas spirit afloat!
I'm no Santa Claus, I said to myself,
I'm not even a reindeer, and much less an elf.
But the jolly old man had given me a task,
so to come up with presents wasn't too much to ask.

I grabbed pen and paper, and started my list,
thinking of whom it would have to consist,
The names sprang from nowhere, and in no certain order,
My pen raced across paper from border to border.

For Doug, D-U-G, the sawmilling Knight,
The choice was quite simple, not even a fight.
More cam follower bearings for his Woodmizer saw head,
that's if he has room for them in his brand new saw shed.

For Poston, some advice, which I hastily wrote,
"On New Years Day morning try some Hair of the Goat!"
And for Skiptooth I also had something to tell,
Stay away from the fan blades, and good luck getting well.

To relieve his anxiety about Magicman edging cedar on the mill,
A prescription for WDH, a months worth of sleeping pills. 
And to show that my christmas spirit was doing just fine,
Also a lifetime supply of 9/4 denim blue pine.

For Kbeitz I struggled, for what do you give
To a man who could make a submarine from a sieve? (old saying?)
I thought and I thought, and then it was clear,
I'd send him a new Dremel with an overdrive gear!

For Jim Rogers I devised a more placid dispensation,
A steady stream of customers who caused no aggravation.
Towards that end I concocted a stunt,
A new sign that said "All sales - cash up front!"

For Peter Drouin a best wish, small but not cursory,
Hoping that next year will bring A&P's 5th Anniversary.

For Yellowhammer in 'Bama, who has the market by the tail,
on live edge and 4 quarter, and all that entails.
A gift that will really bring your sales into bloom,
a specialty slab kiln that drys by vacuum.

For Ladylake Steve, to help him to wade,
through the waist deep lake of orange koolaid.
A gift that will come as quite a surprise eh,
a brand new red and orange TK40 Timbermizer.

For the lurkers who log on, rarely to post,
reading and learning, quiet as ghosts.
I devised a gift, nothing could be as good
as a bound copy of "Whatcha Sawing" and "A Day Sawing Wood".

My eyes became gritty, the sandman had come
but I knew that my work was hardly done,
I'd forgotten many people, overlooked FF members,
and I knew there was one I just had to remember.

For the Forum Boss Jeff, our benevolent host,
A gift beneficial to all, but to him right now the most.
A strong drink to help with his mental condition,
caused by the upcoming server transition!

Whether fending off DDOS attacks by evil Chinese Hackers,
Or fussing at the endless "uploading pictures is hard" slackers,
He works hard to bring us the Forum, a place we can gather
To share stories and pictures, whatever we rather.

We should all take a moment to give him our thanks,
From the newest of members to the elite in our ranks,
It's not too much to ask, so I'll say it right here,
Merry Christmas to Jeff, and a Happy New Year!

Apologies to those who were overlooked, and even more apologies to those who were mentioned  :D  Merry Christmas FF folks!   -      Landscraper
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: killamplanes on December 23, 2016, 06:55:13 PM
Look at u go  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: paul case on December 23, 2016, 06:58:36 PM
 :christmas: To all!!!!

PC
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: POSTON WIDEHEAD on December 23, 2016, 08:00:28 PM
What a poem! Off the charts.
How long did it take you to do this?
Really very good.  :)
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: Jeff on December 23, 2016, 08:03:58 PM
I love it!  Thank you!   MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: Magicman on December 23, 2016, 08:06:12 PM
Wow Sir, that is quite a concoction of prose and poetry.   And a :christmas: to you!!   :)
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: WV Sawmiller on December 23, 2016, 09:18:14 PM
   That' cool. Well done. Merry Christmas.
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: Sixacresand on December 23, 2016, 09:27:27 PM
I think your poem has more words than what i spoke in 2016. :)  Merry Christmas and I enjoyed the poem. 
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: redprospector on December 23, 2016, 09:59:51 PM
That's quite a talent you have. Very nice poem.
 :christmas:  and  :new_year:
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: WDH on December 23, 2016, 11:44:49 PM
Now that takes the cake (old saying)!
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: 4x4American on December 23, 2016, 11:53:59 PM
Wow, you are good!  I had some good chuckles, I love the dremel with overdrive lol lol lol




Merry Christmas and


 :new_year:
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: newoodguy78 on December 24, 2016, 03:10:04 AM
You nailed that one mister!!! Excellent work!
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: Roxie on December 24, 2016, 04:37:00 AM
Outstanding!!  Absolutely perfect!!  You get one of these... :-*
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: thecfarm on December 24, 2016, 05:53:57 AM
That is mighty good poetry.
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: Peter Drouin on December 24, 2016, 06:34:31 AM
 smiley_thumbsup :christmas:
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: goose63 on December 24, 2016, 06:35:47 AM
 :christmas: To all and a  :new_year:  8)
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: BtownCutter on December 24, 2016, 06:59:39 AM
Great stuff.  Merry Christmas all. 
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: dustintheblood on December 24, 2016, 07:33:46 AM
 smiley_clapping smiley_clapping
Best post ever!!!

Well done!!!
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: sandsawmill14 on December 24, 2016, 07:38:56 AM
I nominate you as official ff peot ;D great job that I really enjoyed 8) :) :christmas:
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: 69bronco on December 24, 2016, 08:21:25 AM
You missed your calling!  :snowman: :snowman: :christmas:
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: John S on December 24, 2016, 09:39:04 AM
Thank you for an uplifting post befitting the joys of the season.  Merry Christmas to all!
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: samandothers on December 24, 2016, 10:32:00 AM
Landscaper
Thank you for sharing your talent as a poet and taking the time to create this and share!

I echo the thank you to Jeff for his time and work!

Merry Christmas all!
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: Wallys World on December 24, 2016, 12:34:25 PM
Great job!! 
Merry Christmas to all!!
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: dgdrls on December 24, 2016, 01:31:17 PM
Well done ;)

 :christmas:

to all the FF

D
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: fishfighter on December 24, 2016, 07:10:12 PM
 :christmas: to all and all have a good night.
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: BigZ La on December 24, 2016, 10:38:40 PM
Great Job  :christmas:
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: Texas Ranger on December 25, 2016, 12:04:10 AM
 :christmas:
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: rhino135 on December 25, 2016, 08:23:56 AM
Merry Christmas to all and happy new year.  :new_year:
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: YellowHammer on December 25, 2016, 08:30:21 AM
Very nice.  Merry Christmas to all.  Enjoy the day.  Reading the poem was the first present I opened this morning.  Kids are still sleeping or on their way over, just me and my wife getting ready, picking up, cooking and checking the Forum.
Thanks
 
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: WDH on December 25, 2016, 08:56:07 AM
I am cooking bacon and pork tenderloin for Christmas breakfast.
Title: Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
Post by: drobertson on December 25, 2016, 09:12:55 AM
Merry Christmas back at you! And all!