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Author Topic: Getting help  (Read 4470 times)

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Offline sandhills

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Getting help
« on: March 26, 2018, 09:55:41 AM »
Funny thing about the internet, like that song goes you can be someone you're not I guess. I'm a bad alcoholic and today I leave for Valley Hope for treatment.  So far 2 good things have come from this whole mess, my daughter stayed with me the other night and asked me for a hug before she left, and in return when I went to talk to my parents I asked my dad for a hug and got it and told him how much I loved him, HE is a good man to no end.
I'm not asking for sympathy or prayers I'm ashamed of who I've become, I feel like I know a lot of you folks here and hopefully will live through this so I can actually meet you.  A year ago last September it killed me, not because of over drinking but because I quit for a day and a half to be a paulbearer for my sister inlaws funeral, I seized up and died in a mortuary ::), at least I was in the right place.  I was completely sober for 3 months and fell off the wagon.  It's time to get back on.  

Offline doctorb

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2018, 10:47:24 AM »
It's a life long battle, and your direction right now is a very productive turn.  Forgive me as we have never met and what I am about to write is maybe too much of a suggestion from a stranger....but my advice is not to dwell on where you think you have been and what you think your worth has been because of this disease.  You cannot change what's in the past.  But you can recognize what harm it's done to you and others and you can change.  You can focus on yourself and your relationship with others and you can be better.  And you can see that those that care about you welcome you back, with all your faults, as they have theirs.  Latch onto something positive and productive and enjoy pursuing that daily.  Your future awaits.  If you dwell on how sorry you are for things you have done, you may not be able to conquer that to discover the things you can do.  Give yourself a break, and a new direction.

Best of luck to you.  It takes guts to post what you've posted, and you have my admiration.
My father once said, "This is my son who wanted to grow up and become a doctor.  So far, he's only become a doctor."

Offline LeeB

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2018, 11:31:47 AM »
My hat is off to you sir. I deal dance with the demons too. 
'98 LT40HDD/Lombardini, Case 580L, Cat D4C, JD 3032 tractor, JD 5410 tractor, Husky 346, 372 and 562XP's. Stihl MS180 and MS361, 1998 and 2006 3/4 Ton 5.9 Cummins 4x4's, 1989 Dodge D100 w/ 318, and a 1966 Chevy C60 w/ dump bed.

Offline barbender

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2018, 12:31:04 PM »
Sandhills, you have my prayers. It's a tough battle but one that can be won. My experience is people that take responsibility and don't blame others for their current situation, are the ones that win that battle, and you seem to be in that camp. All the best to you!
Too many irons in the fire

Offline WV Sawmiller

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2018, 12:57:39 PM »
Sandy,

   There are a whole bunch of strange people who get a lot of pleasure out of helping others who will open up to them. I'd say don't deny them another opportunity. Good luck on your journey.

   I figure life is like a long highway. When you take a wrong turn, and we all do at one time or another from time to time, stop the car and turn around and get back on the right road.
Howard Green
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Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once"

Offline Magicman

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2018, 01:18:41 PM »
Pat, I have never trod the road that you are on but you have my highest admiration and respect for publically admitting to your addiction and for taking the first step toward defeating it.  Stay strong my Friend.
Knothole Sawmill, LLC     '98 Wood-Mizer LT40SuperHydraulic   WM Million BF Club Member   WM Pro Sawyer Network

Never allow your "need" to make money to exceed your "desire" to provide quality service.....The Magicman

Offline Weekend_Sawyer

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2018, 01:56:35 PM »
Good luck, please get well, you are a good part of this forum.

Jon
Imagine, Me a Tree Farmer.
Jon, Appalachian American Wannabe. ... and it looks like my dream will come true!

Offline thecfarm

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #7 on: March 26, 2018, 02:31:00 PM »
Takes a lot to admit a problem and not blame it on others. You will be in my thoughts.
Model 6020-20hp Manual Thomas bandsaw,TC40A 4wd 40 hp New Holland tractor, 450 Norse Winch, Heatmor 400 OWB,YCC 1978-79

Offline goose63

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2018, 03:53:35 PM »
Pat you can do it if you need some one to talk to give me a call day or nite

I started drinking be for you were born one night we went out for supper bought 6 month's ago thy asked me what I would like to drink Isaid Dr Pepper my wife gave me this look what no beer nope it don't sound good and I ain't had one yet 

Hang in there Pat my thoughts are with you 
goose
if you find your self in a deep hole stop digging
saw logs all day what do you get lots of lumber and a day older
thank you to all the vets

Offline brianJ

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #9 on: March 26, 2018, 03:59:28 PM »
Im not responding with sympathy or disgust.   We all have our skeletons.   You are an example of bravery for facing this.   

Offline Logger RK

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2018, 05:14:18 PM »
I know you helped me out about a year ago now. So if there's anything I can do just let me know. I did fall off the wagon last Saturday. But better now. 

Offline DPatton

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #11 on: March 26, 2018, 11:14:27 PM »
Sandhills,

The Doctor and all others hit this nail right on the head. The first and sometimes the hardest step is recognizing and admitting there is a problem. You have already crossed this bridge so you are on the right path. Keep your goals in focus and take it one day at a time. 
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Work isn't so bad when you enjoy what your doing.
D & S Sawmill Services

Offline Chuck White

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #12 on: March 27, 2018, 06:57:43 AM »
Here's hoping you do well, Pat!

You are to be admired for stepping up and taking action!
~Chuck~
Retired USAF (1989), Retired School Bus Driver (2012), and now a Mobile Sawyer
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Basic mechanical skills are all that's required to maintain a Wood-Mizer

Offline Roxie

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #13 on: March 27, 2018, 07:32:53 AM »
Doctorb sure nailed it.

Hugs to you.
Save a farm today or starve tomorrow.

Offline Southside

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #14 on: March 27, 2018, 07:40:07 AM »
Pat,

Find strength in knowing that you are not the only person who has traveled down this path, but clearly you are very strong for admitting to yourself that you need help. 

I have seen in my own family and relationships what can happen when folks don't admit they have a problem and won't accept help, alcohol took the life of a girl I had dated and she was only 41 when her liver failed. 

As the Doc said, keep looking ahead and do not dwell on the past, you can't change it, but you can decide the future. Learn to recognize your own positive progress no matter how small and build upon it. 

I was once taught that my job consisted of only two steps. First was to live through the next second and the last step was to repeat the first, did not take long and minutes passed, then hours, days, etc. You can do this and will be able to look back on today with a sense of accomplishment.

God speed and know many are thinking of you.

Jim
Franklin buncher and skidder
JD Processor
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Riehl Edger
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Enough cows to ensure there is no spare time.

Offline Ed_K

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #15 on: March 27, 2018, 08:35:14 AM »
It's a life long battle.
 I fell off that wagon 4 time before I got it to roll forward. Your rolling forward, keep at it.
Ed K

Offline Banjo picker

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #16 on: March 27, 2018, 09:02:56 PM »
Your a kind hearted person and I wish you the best.  Do this for yourself, and the babysitter you married. ;)  Banjo
Cooks AC 36--Prentice 210C--Morgan edger--Kubota M7040 with loader--Case 580 K with extendahoe--Case 850C dozer--Int 1700 series twin cylinder dump/log/flatbed truck--logging arch--2 Logrite mill sp.--Cat claw sharpening system--And a bulldog to make sure it all stays here.

Offline justallan1

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #17 on: March 30, 2018, 09:08:24 AM »
Congrats on the decision of helping yourself and those that you love.
If for some reason you are able to read this from rehab (very doubtful), my biggest piece of advice is START FROM DAY ONE and be totally honest with yourself in every last part of your program.

I was sent to a 6 month live-in rehab for a felony DUI about 2009 and although I went back to drinking for a while afterwards I finally decided things had to change. I'm at around 5 1/2 years sober now and find what works for me is to stay busy, sitting and thinking to much is easily my biggest enemy (and Montana winters don't help a bit!) Believe this for darned sure, you WILL have bunches of time on your hands that you never knew existed, you may need to find a hobby other than your regular work. I work for a ranch and almost burned myself out working to much. I had to make myself go home and work in the woodshop or on my own projects.
I have to remind myself of my goals, make new goals as time goes on and the biggest thing is to get up and go after them instead of just thinking on them.
I can say without a doubt that life has been very rewarding sober and staying that way isn't so hard to do at this point.
When you read this, please feel free to give me a holler. I surely don't have all the answers, but I will certainly share what works for me.

Offline POSTON WIDEHEAD

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #18 on: March 30, 2018, 05:34:38 PM »
Sandhill.....you can do this. Stay focused, keep busy and keep praying brother.  :)
The older I get I wish my body could Re-Gen.

Offline curved-wood

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Re: Getting help
« Reply #19 on: March 31, 2018, 08:35:37 AM »
It reminds me a very rough time that I had in my life.  I founded hard to accept help from others and even more to ask for help even to my good friends. Once I was able to accept that I could not get out of the hole alone, it started to improve . Corrections had been made with time, patience and perseverence. I've lost some friends and gain some others. My new one have less face mask and less playing power games. I think I became a better person , more sensitive and more focuse on the essentiel .     Many many very happy moments since then. Hope these words could be  of any help. Good luck on your road.


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