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Author Topic: Top Ten Things to Tell Customers what NOT to Do With the Wood They Buy  (Read 2584 times)

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Offline Sixacresand

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Reminds me of the slogan on a insurance commercial on TV, "we know a thing or two because we seen a thing or two".  

Offline PA_Walnut

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  • Don't ask me to help you dig to the bottom of the stack, seeking the "widest board possible", then tell me that you are gonna rip it into 1" strips for checker boards.

  • Don't spend 2 hours in the curly maple pile seeking the "best figure possible" then ask me if I mind cutting it in half, since you only need 30".

  • Don't rummage though and entire pallet of 16-20" 5/4 walnut that has zero sap and near zero knots, then tell me that you'd "NEVER pay more than $3/bf for walnut."

All good reasons to regale people with the fact that "they'd never even find your DNA out here."  :D ;D

Yes, all true stories...unfortunately.  :-\
I own my own small piece of the world on an 8 acre plot on the side of a mountain with walnut, hickory, ash and spruce.
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Offline moodnacreek

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I could add a lot to list here but there are 2 that drove me nuts; Guy calls about once a year for dump truck side boards; 2x12x17' oak. Always comes to get them with a short bed pick up but you knew that. One year I have nothing longer than 14' plus trim and he says 14' 7" will work. Come to find out he really liked 17'+ because those cut offs where so handy in his shop!  When I first started people would order double the length they needed and cut them in half right in front of me. I learned to ask a lot of nosey questions when taking an order.

Offline Dave Shepard

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Charging length premiums helps sort those guys out. 
Wood-Mizer LT40HDD51-WR Wireless, Kubota L48, Honda Rincon 650, TJ208 G-S, and a 60"Logrite!

Offline YellowHammer

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I see a lot of the weight ignorance of lumber also.  It causes lots of issues.

I see more problems with furniture when customers use the Kreg screws than most other things.  I got a free bench seat in the showroom because a customer set it on his workbench, turned it upside down and forgot, and then put the screws, and their unsightly holes, from the top side by mistake.  Oops.

We have people who buy lots of wood, but when we go into the shop, they ask what the planer does.

They pick out a big pile of lumber, then ask how to straighten an edge, or they ask me too cut to an exact dimension and then I realize they don't actually own a table saw.  Or a chop saw.  Or...  They usually do have a palm sander, though.  And a Kreg Jig. :D :D :D

 
HobbyHardwoodAlabama.com

Online sawguy21

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 :D :D This thread is hilarious.
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm

Offline Bruno of NH

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I like the ones that call about rough sawn lumber and then ask me to do everything to it.
Plane,joint,cut to size and join for the same price.
I tell them I will build it for you for x price.
But I won't do what you want.
They don't like it :D
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Offline Peter Drouin

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All good stuff here. What really pith me off is when I turn my back to help out another customer.
And the first one pulls wood from the sides of the stuck pack.
One time had a guy pull all of his lumber from the side. You can see the face of the lumber from the side.
I lost it. Old Pete came out. I don't think he will be back.
That and just making a mess of the pile like they do at the box store.
 
Back to the point. YH. My wood is green Ĺ green some dry. I tell them that it will shrink some.
99% of my customers know how to use it. The timber framers want it green.
The other 1% have no clue.
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Offline caveman

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Customer/friend (female):  I need a 5"x16"x11' oak mantle.  
Me:  Okay, we can cut that.  It is going to take quite a while to dry.  When are you going to want to install it?
Customer:  Oh, we have time,We don't need to install it until sometime next week.



Offline Stephen1

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I agree this is a hilarious post with lots of smiles generated from us in the know.
But do remember guys these people are our customers and they generate lots of income for us. 
I had a customer message me that he is moving and would like to kiln dry his red oak that I sawed for him 2 years ago. Great! I will be up to pick it up for you.
Oh but he covered it with a tarp :( but in the end I will make some more money off him. 
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Offline moodnacreek

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I like the ones that call about rough sawn lumber and then ask me to do everything to it.
Plane,joint,cut to size and join for the same price.
I tell them I will build it for you for x price.
But I won't do what you want.
They don't like it :D
I closed the door of the wood shop over 20 years ago because when a customer got in there the day was ruined.

Offline YellowHammer

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I agree this is a hilarious post with lots of smiles generated from us in the know.
But do remember guys these people are our customers and they generate lots of income for us.
Yup, that why I want all this input, then I can distill it down to an educational section in my webpage.  Itís amazing how many people read webpages like magazines, and I have found it is an amazing way to transmit information to customers in an enjoyable way, without embarrassing them.  So instead of just being an online catalog, I have configured our webpage to be informative also.  
 
For example, I canít tell you how many times people would come in and say if they only had a new table saw, their projects would turn out better.  They complain they are stuck with their Dadís big 5 hp cast iron beast that wonít cut a straight line.  So I tell them that they canít even buy saws of that quality these days, and all it needs is a new sawblade.  So they come back a month or two later and tell me how their Dadís old table saw cuts like new, and how exited they are to have a great piece of old iron up and running.  So I put a synopsis of that on my webpage and have had so many people thank me for it, and how these things are obvious to us, but have been ignored or forgotten.

The way I look at it, the better my customerís projects turn out with some free, non insulting but useful advice, they more successful they will be, and the more wood they buy. Also, if they think they may learn something, the more they go to my webapage, and hopefully learn something. 

HobbyHardwoodAlabama.com

Offline Ed_K

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 Y.H. that's a Dang great post 8).

Offline moodnacreek

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Yes they all seem to complain about there table saws. In most cases they are ripping with a cross cut or combo blade and don't know about rip saws. A thin kerf rip with the least amount of teeth makes a big difference in a weak table saw, well worth sending away for.

Offline WDH

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Yesterday.  Customer has a 50 minute drive to get home. Bought $125 worth of walnut. 



 


Guess that I better be like YellowHammer and spring for a roll of polyethylene plastic and some twine :) :) :).
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Offline Southside

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Naa - that's a good rope there Danny... :D
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Offline Stoneyacrefarm

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I like that polka dot walnut you have down there Danny.  :D
Work hard. Be rewarded.

Offline YellowHammer

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Yep, thatís what Iím talking about.  Weatherman says ďrainĒ so donít bring a tarp to pick up the most expensive wood in the shop with an open pickup truck.     ::)

HobbyHardwoodAlabama.com

Offline WDH

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And drive almost an hour in the rain ::)
Woodmizer LT40HDD35, John Deere 2155, Kubota M5640SU, Nyle L53 Dehumidification Kiln, and a passion for all things with leafs, twigs, and bark.  hamsleyhardwood.com

Offline YellowHammer

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Tomorrow will be a soaker, rain all day.  Should be fun.  Lots of plastic and tape.  I may just buy a bunch of tarps and sell them.

Today, had a real nice fella come by and purchase $400 of wood and when the rope holding the wood was hand tightened, it just broke, obviously rotted. Oops. 

HobbyHardwoodAlabama.com


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