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Author Topic: Top Ten Things to Tell Customers what NOT to Do With the Wood They Buy  (Read 2627 times)

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Offline Peter Drouin

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I look at the customer, If young like in the 20s I try to show/help them. If there old I figure they're too stupid to learn things. I don't wast my time.  ::) :D ;) 
A&P saw Mill LLC.
45' of Wood Mizer, cutting since 1987.
License NH softwood grader.

Offline ellmoe

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How about "air up the tires on the trailer that has been sitting for two years , before you have the mill put 8,000 lbs. on it" . Sometimes , I think I'd make more giving the lumber away and just charging for air and  repair services. ::) 
Thirty plus years in the sawmill/millwork business. A sore back and arthritic fingers to prove it!

Offline Cedarman

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Ellmoe found  another one for your list YH.  Make sure your tires are good and high.
I have to remember to get a box of red flags for those 16' boards sticking out the bed of an 8' PU.
I am in the pink when sawing cedar.

Offline WDH

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Robert, now you need to buy a coil of rope. 
Woodmizer LT40HDD35, John Deere 2155, Kubota M5640SU, Nyle L53 Dehumidification Kiln, and a passion for all things with leafs, twigs, and bark.  hamsleyhardwood.com

Offline YellowHammer

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Yes, it does seem I need to open up a hardware store.

It needs:
Rope
Ratchet Straps
Blue Tarps
Plastic Sheeting
Tape
Red Flags
Fuel  - Customer "Is there a gas station nearby?" :D Me - "Sure, you passed them all"
Drinks - Customer "Its really hot, I didn't bring anything to drink, is there a gas station nearby?"
Porta Potti - "Is there a gas station nearby?"  (I rented a Porta Potti for this a couple years ago)
Tweezers "I got a splinter"
Gloves "I got a splinter"
Band aids "I'm bleeding, I got a splinter"
A variety of sawblades "No, don't put a 180 tooth miter saw blade on your table saw"
A stack of tool catalogs "No, that tool is a piece of junk, save up your money and get one like this"
Different finishes "So what kind of paint do I put on the walnut?"
A bunch of Rite Leg bench seats
Vending machine - soft drinks and Moon Pies (This seems like a good idea, the proceeds might offset the Porta Potti rental fee)
Air hose for tires (good idea, been there done that)
Tire Plugging Tools "I have a flat, don't know why, the tires were good last time I used this trailer, a couple years ago"
Jumper Box with battery cables (I bought one of these last year, really handy)






HobbyHardwoodAlabama.com

Offline Bruno of NH

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YH
Good idea in selling tarps
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Offline GRANITEstateMP

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YellowHammer,

The profit percentage from the "hardware" store that you've now talked yourself into building may be better than the lumber!  BUT, too many Moon Pie's may slow you and your employees down :-\
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Offline Southside

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I had an employee on a bagging machine that we used to feed whoopie pies and Mountain Dew, that machine would have smoke rolling from the bearings!!!  Sugar has a great ROI in a production facility.   :D
Franklin buncher and skidder
JD Processor
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Offline Peter Drouin

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Had a guy come in with a trailer, loaded him up and all the tires where flat.
Do you have some air? ::) ::) stupid_smiley
Well ya.  where over there. But I don't have enuff hose to reach. Then he wanted to drive the thing to the hose. I know and you all here know the tire will come off the bead if you move it.
I looked and found an old hoes, just made it.


Sent a customer home with lumber I cut for him. [his logs]
Be sure to stick it when you get home. [I cut him some sticking]
Two+ weeks he calls and has black, blue, green lumber.
Did you stick it? Ya, today.
A&P saw Mill LLC.
45' of Wood Mizer, cutting since 1987.
License NH softwood grader.

Offline YellowHammer

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Well, today was a new one for me. I am still trying to metally process it.

I had a guy come in and ask of he could return some white, hard rock maple he bought a couple weeks ago because it just wouldnt stain to the dark color he wanted.  So the wood was obviously defectective.  Whaaa??

We said, well, it was white, hard rock maple and if you wanted to stain the wood dark, why didnt you buy a dark wood, instead of the whitest we have?

So he insisted he wanted to return the wood, and we said sure, as long as you havent done anything to it, as we would have it re sold before he drove off.  It was good stuff.  

Then he says that he had already cut it all into little 6x6 squares.   :D :D
We were astounded.  So nope, sorry.
HobbyHardwoodAlabama.com

Offline Southside

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Thursday afternoon a guy pulls in with a load of #3 common (at best), random length, random width, red oak he bought from another mill, lots of great character - carpenter ant tunnels, pith throughout it, beautiful holes where knots were - you get the image.  Can I make it into flooring for him, all one size, don't waste too much because he needs every last square inch.. ???  Oh - and can I have it ready for tomorrow, say by 5:00?  Dead stacked, green, been sitting out in the rain.... ::)  Where do I begin?
Franklin buncher and skidder
JD Processor
Woodmizer LT Super 70 and LT35 sawmill, KD250 kiln, BMS 250 sharpener and setter
Riehl Edger
Woodmaster 725 and 4000 planner and moulder
Enough cows to ensure there is no spare time.

Offline clww

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So, did you tell him, Sure thing! Itll be ready by noon? :D :D
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Offline Cedarman

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You might have said "If I could have it ready by tomorrow, I could be in Vegas being a star doing magic tricks"
I am in the pink when sawing cedar.

Offline sawguy21

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If you were that good you wouldn't have to work for a living. :D That is a good one. Yellowhammer, people like that astound me, trouble is they reproduce and vote.
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm

Offline YellowHammer

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Southside, Ive had some similar to that and I always tell them I can have it ready now if they will swing by our burn pile, throw their junk into the flames, and then just back up to our building.  We will load him on the spot with our wood, and oh yeah, Will that be cash or card? :D

HobbyHardwoodAlabama.com

Offline PA_Walnut

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Then he says that he had already cut it all into little 6x6 squares.   We were astounded.  So nope, sorry.


There is just no explaining crazy. What was he "staining" it with? Hard maple takes aniline dye really well. Apparently he needs to do more Google work! :D
I own my own small piece of the world on an 8 acre plot on the side of a mountain with walnut, hickory, ash and spruce.
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Offline Brad_bb

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So he's cut it all up into what is now essentially firewood, and he wants his money back?  I'll bet he goes to the grocery store, buys food, goes home and eats it, then returns the packaging wanting a full refund.
Anything someone can design, I can sure figure out how to fix!
If I say it\\\\\\\'s going to take so long, multiply that by at least 3!

Offline sawguy21

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An acquaintance, a retired building contractor, was telling us about a customer who wanted a particular expensive cedar for her kitchen cabinets. He went in some months after the house was finished to do a minor warranty repair, she had painted them Pepto-Bismo pink!!! He said he almost lost his lunch.
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm


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