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Author Topic: Twas the night before the night before Christmas  (Read 1717 times)

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Offline landscraper

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Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« on: December 23, 2016, 06:51:19 PM »
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land
Both hardwoods and softwoods grew in even-aged stands
The sawyers all rested, deeply in slumber
Dreaming of tall stacks of FAS lumber

No exception was I, fully a-doze
Til woken by a sound from Microsoft Windows
I stumbled to the computer with little decorum,
and saw I was still logged into the Forestry Forum
It was an incoming PM, sent for some cause
By no one other than his jolliness, username:Santa Claus

"Dear Landscraper" it began, "I hope you are well,
Now listen to the tale that I sadly must tell.
I'm down for the count, under the weather,
and unable to gather my presents together.
I'm standing in need, I could use your assistance,
and I'm hoping you don't give me any resistance.
So however you can, (and you will, I have a hunch),
please pick fitting gifts for the Forestry Forum bunch.
Your Brother In Sawdust", it stated in closing,
"My good luck and best wishes I'm surely enclosing."

I paused and I panicked, my heart in my throat,
How could I keep the Christmas spirit afloat!
I'm no Santa Claus, I said to myself,
I'm not even a reindeer, and much less an elf.
But the jolly old man had given me a task,
so to come up with presents wasn't too much to ask.

I grabbed pen and paper, and started my list,
thinking of whom it would have to consist,
The names sprang from nowhere, and in no certain order,
My pen raced across paper from border to border.

For Doug, D-U-G, the sawmilling Knight,
The choice was quite simple, not even a fight.
More cam follower bearings for his Woodmizer saw head,
that's if he has room for them in his brand new saw shed.

For Poston, some advice, which I hastily wrote,
"On New Years Day morning try some Hair of the Goat!"
And for Skiptooth I also had something to tell,
Stay away from the fan blades, and good luck getting well.

To relieve his anxiety about Magicman edging cedar on the mill,
A prescription for WDH, a months worth of sleeping pills. 
And to show that my christmas spirit was doing just fine,
Also a lifetime supply of 9/4 denim blue pine.

For Kbeitz I struggled, for what do you give
To a man who could make a submarine from a sieve? (old saying?)
I thought and I thought, and then it was clear,
I'd send him a new Dremel with an overdrive gear!

For Jim Rogers I devised a more placid dispensation,
A steady stream of customers who caused no aggravation.
Towards that end I concocted a stunt,
A new sign that said "All sales - cash up front!"

For Peter Drouin a best wish, small but not cursory,
Hoping that next year will bring A&P's 5th Anniversary.

For Yellowhammer in 'Bama, who has the market by the tail,
on live edge and 4 quarter, and all that entails.
A gift that will really bring your sales into bloom,
a specialty slab kiln that drys by vacuum.

For Ladylake Steve, to help him to wade,
through the waist deep lake of orange koolaid.
A gift that will come as quite a surprise eh,
a brand new red and orange TK40 Timbermizer.

For the lurkers who log on, rarely to post,
reading and learning, quiet as ghosts.
I devised a gift, nothing could be as good
as a bound copy of "Whatcha Sawing" and "A Day Sawing Wood".

My eyes became gritty, the sandman had come
but I knew that my work was hardly done,
I'd forgotten many people, overlooked FF members,
and I knew there was one I just had to remember.

For the Forum Boss Jeff, our benevolent host,
A gift beneficial to all, but to him right now the most.
A strong drink to help with his mental condition,
caused by the upcoming server transition!

Whether fending off DDOS attacks by evil Chinese Hackers,
Or fussing at the endless "uploading pictures is hard" slackers,
He works hard to bring us the Forum, a place we can gather
To share stories and pictures, whatever we rather.

We should all take a moment to give him our thanks,
From the newest of members to the elite in our ranks,
It's not too much to ask, so I'll say it right here,
Merry Christmas to Jeff, and a Happy New Year!

Apologies to those who were overlooked, and even more apologies to those who were mentioned  :D  Merry Christmas FF folks!   -      Landscraper
Firewood is energy independence on a personal scale.

Offline killamplanes

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2016, 06:55:13 PM »
Look at u go  ;D ;D ;D
jd440 skidder, western star w/grapple,tk B-20 hyd, electric, stihl660,and 2X661. and other support Equipment, pallet manufacturing line

Offline paul case

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2016, 06:58:36 PM »
 :christmas: To all!!!!

PC
life is too short to be too serious. (some idiot)
2013 LT40SHE25 and Riehl edger,  WM 94 LT40 hd E15. Cut my sawing ''teeth'' on an EZ Boardwalk
sawing oak.hickory,ERC,walnut and almost anything else that shows up.
Don't get phylosophical with me. you will loose me for sure.
pc

Online POSTON WIDEHEAD

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2016, 08:00:28 PM »
What a poem! Off the charts.
How long did it take you to do this?
Really very good.  :)
The older I get I wish my body could Re-Gen.

Offline Jeff

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2016, 08:03:58 PM »
I love it!  Thank you!   MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Just call me the midget doctor.
Forestry Forum Founder and Chief Cook and Bottle Washer.

Commercial circle sawmill sawyer in a past life.
Ezekiel 22:30

Offline Magicman

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2016, 08:06:12 PM »
Wow Sir, that is quite a concoction of prose and poetry.   And a :christmas: to you!!   :)
Knothole Sawmill, LLC     '98 Wood-Mizer LT40SuperHydraulic   WM Million BF Club Member   WM Pro Sawyer Network

Never allow your "need" to make money to exceed your "desire" to provide quality service.....The Magicman

Offline WV Sawmiller

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2016, 09:18:14 PM »
   That' cool. Well done. Merry Christmas.
Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2009 4wd Dodge PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Sthil 440 & 441, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once"

Offline Sixacresand

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2016, 09:27:27 PM »
I think your poem has more words than what i spoke in 2016. :)  Merry Christmas and I enjoyed the poem. 

Offline redprospector

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #8 on: December 23, 2016, 09:59:51 PM »
That's quite a talent you have. Very nice poem.
 :christmas:  and  :new_year:
1996 Timber King B-20 with 14' extension, Morgan Mini Scragg Mill, Fastline Band Scragg Mill (project), 1973 JD 440-b skidder, 2008 Bobcat T-320 with buckets, grapple, auger, Tushogg mulching head, etc., 2006 Fecon FTX-90L with Bull Hog 74SS head, 1994 Vermeer 1250 BC Chipper. A bunch of chainsaws.

Offline WDH

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #9 on: December 23, 2016, 11:44:49 PM »
Now that takes the cake (old saying)!
Woodmizer LT40HDD35, John Deere 2155, Kubota M5640SU, Nyle L53 Dehumidification Kiln, and a passion for all things with leafs, twigs, and bark.  hamsleyhardwood.com

Offline 4x4American

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #10 on: December 23, 2016, 11:53:59 PM »
Wow, you are good!  I had some good chuckles, I love the dremel with overdrive lol lol lol




Merry Christmas and


 :new_year:
Boy, back in my day..

Offline newoodguy78

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #11 on: December 24, 2016, 03:10:04 AM »
You nailed that one mister!!! Excellent work!

Offline Roxie

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #12 on: December 24, 2016, 04:37:00 AM »
Outstanding!!  Absolutely perfect!!  You get one of these... :-*
Save a farm today or starve tomorrow.

Offline thecfarm

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #13 on: December 24, 2016, 05:53:57 AM »
That is mighty good poetry.
Model 6020-20hp Manual Thomas bandsaw,TC40A 4wd 40 hp New Holland tractor, 450 Norse Winch, Heatmor 400 OWB,YCC 1978-79

Offline Peter Drouin

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #14 on: December 24, 2016, 06:34:31 AM »
 smiley_thumbsup :christmas:
A&P saw Mill LLC.
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License NH softwood grader.

Offline goose63

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #15 on: December 24, 2016, 06:35:47 AM »
 :christmas: To all and a  :new_year:  8)
goose
if you find your self in a deep hole stop digging
saw logs all day what do you get lots of lumber and a day older
thank you to all the vets

Offline BtownCutter

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #16 on: December 24, 2016, 06:59:39 AM »
Great stuff.  Merry Christmas all. 
Wood-Mizer LT15-GO, JD5203, FX90, home built solar kiln and 60 acres of trees

Offline dustintheblood

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #17 on: December 24, 2016, 07:33:46 AM »
 smiley_clapping smiley_clapping
Best post ever!!!

Well done!!!
Case 1494, Igland 4001, Hardy 1400ST, WM LT40HD, WM Edger, ICS DH Kiln, plus other toys - cause well - gotta have something to play around on

Offline sandsawmill14

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #18 on: December 24, 2016, 07:38:56 AM »
I nominate you as official ff peot ;D great job that I really enjoyed 8) :) :christmas:
hudson 228, lucky knuckleboom,stihl 038 064 441 magnum

Offline 69bronco

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Re: Twas the night before the night before Christmas
« Reply #19 on: December 24, 2016, 08:21:25 AM »
You missed your calling!  :snowman: :snowman: :christmas:


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