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Author Topic: Christmas gift stuff  (Read 5016 times)

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Offline Tom

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Christmas gift stuff
« on: January 08, 2008, 02:18:17 PM »
I've always liked to eat.  Food holds a special place in my heart.  Food from the holidays is always special. It is usually composed of stuff that I wouldn't buy for myself.

This last Christmas, a family member gave me a small box of Hickory Farms stuff.  Hickory Farms used to be the talk of the town.  I remember how everyone was enamoured with the idea of Hickory Farms and how good it was.

I opened this little package and inside were two sausages, a block of smoked cheese and some crackers.

Having to start somewhere, I picked one of the sausauges and got a knife.  It was readily apparant to me that this was a 'regift'.  The green algae growing all over one end of the sausage was enough to make another meal.   How in the world I was expected to eat a sausage like this, I don't know.  It's expiration date was within a couple of days of my opening it.  It was a bit on the greasy side. What am I expected to do with this?

Well, after I got through with that sausage, I opened the other.  It was in a better shape and I had it eaten in about a week.

That sausage was a bit smaller and I almost wore out my new Case pocket knife on it.

Now I'm finishing up with the smoked cheese.  I realized as soon as I put it in my mouth that I didn't like it.  I tried putting it on crackers and it didn't help a bit.   Then I read the label.  It's smoked pasturized processed cheese.....and swiss.  I haven't' found the swiss yet.

Finally, out of shear frustration, I got some butter and buttered a slice of the cheese, thinking that it might help that dry cotton feel and give it some flavor.  Let me tell you that it didn't work.  Determined still, I put some on a cracker with butter, then with some  hot sauce and butter.   Usually I can find some way of disposing with foodstuffs without throwing it out, but, this time, I'm afraid I've been whipped.

Next year, I am hoping for fruit cake, stale pound cake, old chocolate candy with the white aging dust on it, cameo cookies that were left out in the rain, anything but a box of Hickory Farms stuff. :-\
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Offline Furby

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2008, 02:42:41 PM »
Kinda reminds me of the folks that buy Halloween candy on sale after Halloween and save it for the next year. ::)

I was at my Grandma's last night and she offered me some homemade cookies to take home.
Said she had way too many left after the holidays and she didn't think they'd keep until the next trip up too the lake.
When are you going to the lake I asked?
Next summer. ::)
Yeah, I'll take some home with me. ;D :D

Offline CHARLIE

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2008, 10:43:27 PM »
Tom, you know what disturbs me?  You don't?  OK....I'll tell ya.  If the sausage had gangrene, and tasted greasy and bad....why eat it?  If the smoked cheese tasted yucky....why eat it?  If the other sausage was harder than a chunk of hardrock maple....why eat it? ::)    When you first opened it and saw fungus consuming a sausage, did you ever think of hurling everything into the swamp and let the gators feast?  Ever wonder why someone would give you a gift like that?   :o   
Charlie
"Everybody was gone when I arrived but I decided to stick around until I could figure out why I was there !"

Offline Furby

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2008, 10:51:45 PM »
Because he would eat it! :D :D :D

Offline pigman

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2008, 11:26:18 PM »
I think Tom tried to eat the stuff because his little brother gave him the gift. ;)
Things turn out best for people who make the best of how things turn out.

Offline isawlogs

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2008, 11:33:00 PM »


    Ever wonder why someone would give you a gift like that? 

     A can of pea"s comes to mind  ;D :) :)
A man does not always grow wise as he grows old , but he always grows old as he grows wise .

   Marcel

Offline Tom

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #6 on: January 11, 2008, 01:49:33 AM »
The present from my son.

It wouldn't have made near as good a story if I had said I got a package of sausage and threw it away. :)
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Offline Furby

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #7 on: January 11, 2008, 02:05:41 AM »
 :D :D :D
How true! :)

Online Don P

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #8 on: January 11, 2008, 07:51:21 AM »
Sorry couldn't hear you, I was busy stuffing my face with this years HF box. We were heading off to work the other morning and there was a box down at the sawmill, our designated UPS drop point so he doesn't have to climb the drive. I threw it in and off to work we went. A baseball bat sized sausage and a box of baklava. The day just blows by when you're on a non stop sugar rush  :D. I do make fruitcake jokes, I get more of it that way  ;D
The future is a foreign country, they will do things differently there - Simon Winchester

Offline isawlogs

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #9 on: January 11, 2008, 01:30:05 PM »
The present from my son.

  You made him work for a can a pea's too ... man you are a slave driver .  :o ;)
A man does not always grow wise as he grows old , but he always grows old as he grows wise .

   Marcel

Offline CHARLIE

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #10 on: January 11, 2008, 02:20:17 PM »
Isawlogs, nope.......the pea luncheon episode happened back in 1995 and as I remember it, Tom's son was there helping us the first day. Tom gave me the peas and gave his son a can of corn for lunch. The difference was.....Tom also gave his son a spoon.  He gave me his pocketknife so I could whittle my own spoon.  ;D   Tom's always thinking of me. Heck....without that knife I don't know what I'd have done. 
Charlie
"Everybody was gone when I arrived but I decided to stick around until I could figure out why I was there !"

Offline Jeff

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2008, 03:35:29 PM »
If it was me, I would have waited until Tom's son was done eating, got the spoon, then waited some more until they were ready to go back to work, THEN started eating my peas.
Just call me the midget doctor.
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Offline DanG

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #12 on: January 11, 2008, 08:48:48 PM »
 Tom's always thinking of me. Heck....without that knife I don't know what I'd have done. 

Well I know what I woulda done.  I woulda got in the truck and gone for a chicken box!
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

Offline WDH

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #13 on: January 12, 2008, 10:26:43 PM »
I second that nomination :D.
Woodmizer LT40HDD35, John Deere 2155, Kubota M5-111, Nyle L53 Dehumidification Kiln, and a passion for all things with leafs, twigs, and bark.  hamsleyhardwood.com

Offline olyman

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #14 on: January 15, 2008, 09:33:40 AM »
dang may not be young--but hes always thinkin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Offline Haytrader

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #15 on: January 15, 2008, 07:15:35 PM »
 ::)
 Thats about all he can do anymore.

Signed,
Anonymos


 :D
Haytrader

Offline sawguy21

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #16 on: January 15, 2008, 10:35:00 PM »
 :D :D :D :D :D OOPS sorry DanG
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm

Offline DanG

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #17 on: January 16, 2008, 01:40:32 PM »
::)
 Thats about all he can do anymore.

Signed,
Anonymos


 :D

Now that just ain't so, Grassboy!  I can still eat chikin too. ;D
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

Offline Haytrader

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #18 on: January 16, 2008, 01:49:54 PM »
Well, I'm glad you finally realized you were being picked on.

 ;)
Haytrader

Offline DanG

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #19 on: January 16, 2008, 03:05:50 PM »
I knew my ears were burning for some reason, but I didn't get much 'puter time last night.  I was still outside working when most of ya was reared back in the recliner.  After that, I still had to fix some supper, then found my connection was down the tube.  I guess the phone co. had a problem, 'cause it was ok this morning.  You are all being graced with my presence today, because it is raining and 45 outside.  I may go over and putter in the shop for a while, or I might just stay here and bug you guys. ;)
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

Offline Haytrader

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #20 on: January 16, 2008, 03:45:31 PM »
That is what I like about being some of the "more seasoned" members. We can do pretty much whatever we DanG want to.
Why I just got up from the recliner where I let my dinner "settle a little".
We are getting a little snow and it is coming in sideways.

 :D
Haytrader

Offline DanG

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #21 on: January 16, 2008, 08:03:41 PM »
We can do pretty much whatever we DanG want to.

And all this time, I thought you was married. ???  My bride spent most of the day snoozing in her chair, but she woke up long enough to ask me why I wasn't outside getting some stuff done. ::)
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

Offline SwampDonkey

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #22 on: January 16, 2008, 09:20:50 PM »
:D I can remember in grade school. I think I was about the only one that liked getting life savors as an exchange gift. I used to look at a lot of kids that showed disappointment when they got one of those life savor books. Never could figure it out. I'm sure I got some regifted one.  ::)
No amount of belief makes something a fact. James Randi

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Offline sawguy21

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Re: Christmas gift stuff
« Reply #23 on: January 17, 2008, 01:02:09 AM »
I would have traded with you.
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm


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