yooper version, Twas Da Night Before Christmas

[chet]

Twas da night before Christmas in dis Yooper house,
and nuttin' was stirrin', not even our mouse.
Da rest of da family was all fast asleep
wit' visions of pasties delivered by jeep.
Da swampers was hung by da chiminey wit care
in hopes dat Saint Nicolas soon would be dere.


And in da far corner it was lovely to see
da Bosch cans and cabbage dat hung from da tree.
Ma home from da mine and me out on parole,
she was snuggled in bed; I was perched on da bowl.


Den alluva sudden da house starts to shudder,
some nut's on da roof and he broke da rain gutter.
He jumps down da chimney and swears cause it's tight
As I hide behind beer cases, way outta sight.
He lands in da fireplace scorching his hair
on a busted up orange crate still burning in dere.


He climbs outta da fireplace and I take a long look,
he's just like they show him in my coloring book.
Wit vodka-glazed eyes and a stomach like a bubble,
a five-day-old beard and dere's soot on his stubble.


His teet when he smiles look like Grampa's weed-saw,
and he wore tenner shoes big as grizzly bear's paws.
Dis old Yooper elf gives me nutting to fear
as he heads for da kitchen for cookies and beer.


He kills off a six pack den belches and smirks,
and reaches into da playdoh sack, ready to work.


Now under da tree he's starting to set
da most beautiful presents us Yoopers can get.


Dere's a new pastymatic and snowblower for mother,
a steel chainsaw and some swampers for brother.
Some mud flaps, CB, and new-used weedwacker,
a helmet and nightshirt dat say "Green Bay Packers".


He close up da sack and he jumps in da coals
and hollering "OUCH!", up da chiminey he rose.
He grunted and groaned as he tossed out his bag
and cracked such a beer fart (ugh) I'm starting to gag.


I must watch him leave so I rushes outside,
I looks up at da roof while in bushes I hide.
And what does I see when I looks trough da twigs?
A rusted old car body, pulled by eight pigs!


Santy jumped in and he gave 'em all hell,
"Let's go all yous pigs, don't just sit dere and smell!
On Mushy and Mushy and Lempy and Joe
and all a you's others what names I don't know.


Fly over Negaunee and turn to da right,
we make Houghton-Hancock before I get tight."


Den I hear him exclaim with a cynical sneer
"Pull in at dat Bosch sign, I run outta beer!!"

[Fla._Deadheader]

Deadheader   :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Teri   :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[etat]

I'm kinda new here.  Just before I joined seemed pert near everything on here was yooperized.  Now I know this may be kind of a dumb question.  WHAT IS A YOOPER! : :

[Kevin_H.]

Funny,Funny stuff

Chet maybe you should thank about doing greeting cards :D ;D

[pasbuild]

yah dat guy stop at Billy da Fins last year on his way to Hoo-ton

[OneWithWood]

What a great laugh to start the day  :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
My sides hurt! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[Neil_B]

 :D :D :D :D ;D
Now that's a GOOD Christmas Story!  

[isawlogs]

Yes Virginia there is a Santa Clause.....

[BASIC]

   cktate,sir a Yooper is a person from  the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.From what I've read they seem to like beer,coffee,deer hunting,pasties(a great tasting meat pie),the Green Bay Packers,ice fishing,cinnamon buns and snow.Their from good solid Norwegian stock with some others mixed in.They belive the UP is God's greatest Creation(they may well be right).It would seem like a great place to live,BASIC.

[Jeff]

Thanks BASIC, I or several other members could have answered earlier but being from Michigan, we did not want to gloat. So as you see cktate, even in New Jersey, Being a  Yooper is envied.

[BASIC]

   Jeff B,your welcome sir.You do have alot to be proud of and yes I am envious but also happy that Yooper's seem to relize the wonderful place they live in,not like the over crowded,filthy state of New Jersey and I live in the rural(must be an oxymoron,rural/New Jersey)part of the state.BASIC.

[Jeff]

I have always loved that word. Oxymoron. Its one that as a kid I used to say because it rolled off the tongue and sounded neat. I didn't know what it meant, even to the point of discovering a new word that I thought was neater that rolled off the tongue even better but seemed to be related to the first.

"Ontario"  ;)

[Dave_Fullmer]

The UP is sure a great spot.  I have fond memories of going across the Straits as a teenager with the folks.  I may be a resident of Tenn now, but as a boy we livied in Big Rapids.  Dad bought a 48 Studebaker Land Cruiser, we loaded a 2 wheel trailer with a new tent and headed for the UP.

This was in '54 so the bridge was just being built and we had to cross on the ferry.  We went to Taq State park and set up the tent on 4th of July week and the camp was only half full.

We crossed the UP all the way to the tip of the Kewanaw Penn. moving our camp every day.  

The following year, my brother and I loaded a canoe on the top of his 35 Ford and went back up to Kewanaw to a Christian youth camp just north of Houghton-Hancock.  Wonder if it is still there?

The last time I was up there was in '75 with my own family.  We almost duplicated the route that my father had taken 20 years before.  Maybe, next summer my wife and I should take time to go back up there either before or after the picnic.

BTW, is there still a toll on the bridge?

Thanks for a chance to remember the good times.

Dave

[Dave_Fullmer]

BTW,  early last year, my Mom passed away and when we cleaned out the house, we found the old tent.  We had a yard sale in the summer and my 2 brothers and I set the tent up for the last time.  We sold it to a young man who restores old canvas tents like this one for $10.  We had a great time trying to remember how the posts and stakes had to go to set it up.

The winter before Dad bought the tent, he made a deal with us 3 boys.  If we would get up every morning it snowed and go shovel the walks of 2 homes that were owned by a "wealthy" neighbor, (3 blocks away) he would save the money and put enough with it to buy the tent.  

Dad would wake us up if it snowed and all 4 of us would go shovel the walks.  These houses had lots of walks because they were both on corner streets with walks to both streets.  I think the snow shovelling paid for about half of the $40 that Sears charged for the tent.

[Jeff]

Dave, Da Bridge is only 2 hours from my house so you should plan on it. The bridge does have a fare.

Big Deal in the news in the forestry circles lately due to increases. They raised the fare for cars from 1.50 to 2.50. no big deal. They raised it for trucks a buck an axle. If you have a logging company that has 10 trucks that have 5 to 8 axles crossing the bridge 1 or 2 or 3 times a day each, paying that both ways, it can be enough to break a company.

[etat]

Hey yall, thanks for the info on yoopers.  Seems it's not THAT much different from a redneck.  But it sure is funny they way yall express yerselfs.  Betcha if I was together with some of you guys we'd get along jest fine, other than laughin at the way each other talked.

[Stan]

I tink I get it. Wat der hay, I like dat.  8)

[chet]

In answer to cktate's question, whats a yooper. This may help. http://www.ring.com/yooper/mightbe.htm

[Dave_Fullmer]

Jeff, I remember that the fare was something like $5.00 when the bridge was new.  Somewhere about the early 70's they suddenly lowered it because of some additional gas tax.

[Neil_B]

I have always loved that word. Oxymoron. Its one that as a kid I used to say because it rolled off the tongue and sounded neat. I didn't know what it meant, even to the point of discovering a new word that I thought was neater that rolled off the tongue even better but seemed to be related to the first.

"Ontario"  ;)

Wha chu gettin at Jeff  ???  

[BASIC]

   It seems evry part of the Country has it's own form of"Redneck".Most have no specific identity other than that of"Redneck"with a few exceptions that I know of,New Hampshire has"Woodchucks" and New Jersey has"Pineys"but none are as widely known and celebrated as"Yoopers".In Hank Williams Jr's song"A Country Boy Can Survive"I believe he was referring to "Rednecks",a group of people that can make do with what they have and have a good time doing it.BASAIC.

[Stan]

I went under the bridge in 1957, twice! Don't know what the fare was for that. I thought Cheboygan was a big yooper city.  :-/

[Jeff]

Cheboygan is on the troll side