I was in the store this morning to get a Sausage Biscuit. While paying for my breakfast, this guy was in front of me trying to pay for some Kerosine to put in his heater.
He had pumped 10 dollars worth and had only 9, 1 dollar bills.
I gave him the other dollar to pay his bill.
He looked at me and said, "I certainly appreciate it.....this $9.00 is the 'Last button on Joe's coat'".
It took a minute to sink in....but I had never heard that.
"The last button on Joe's coat".......hum..... :)
It is really sad to see someone like that ,probably choose to stay warm rather that eat :( :(
New one on me :)
I never heard that before, either. Glad you had a dollar.
Glad that you had a dollar, too.
I also am glad you had a spare dollar to help him out, but have to wonder why he ''pumped'' ten dollards worth if he only had nine to pay with :-\
Maybe his name was Joe.
I'm guessing the other dollar was in the washer, maybe with the other button and some change, david
The first refernce I can find is for the saying "the last button on Gabe's Coat". Its a way of saying that they are the youngest member of the family. The saying comes from the Archangel Gabriel removing a button from his coat for each family member and the youngest was the last button.
Another refernce I found was from the Civil War era or earlier, and this one makes sense for where you are from Poston. This showed that when people played cards and they ran out of money, they would use the brass buttons from their coats to bet. Back then, brass buttons were not easy to get in certain areas of the country so people accepted them as bets. You knew the card game was nearing an end when someone, presumably a "Joe", was using the last button on his coat to bet...hence, "the last button on Joe's coat."
I'll take Random Knowlesge for a thousand, Alec! ;)
Quote from: kilgrosh on November 14, 2013, 10:27:10 AM
I'll take Random Knowlesge for a thousand, Alec! ;)
"DAILY DOUBLE"Now I know.....Thanks "Gift Horse". :)
Most of you guys and gals remember the old saying; "Age Before Beauty". The next time that happens, stop, look them in the eye and say; "Just remember that beauty was a horse". That statement has bought more then one young smart to a stop.
Bruce
Quote from: submarinesailor on November 14, 2013, 04:07:29 PM
Most of you guys and gals remember the old saying; "Age Before Beauty". The next time that happens, stop, look them in the eye and say; "Just remember that beauty was a horse". That statement has bought more then one young smart to a stop.
Bruce
Good reply Bruce......how about a few more of those submarine sayings. I'll bet there are a few you can't tell. :D
I was in the office yesterday and one guy was asking for help about something on a job he was working on from another guy. The second guy told him what he needed to do, to which the first guy replied, "Well, you learn something new every day, but I'll forget it by tomorrow."
Live and learn, die and forget it all.
Quote from: samandothers on November 14, 2013, 08:11:20 PM
Live and learn, die and forget it all.
how do you know you for get it all ;)
Poston you asked for it: Just remember, once I was addicted to the hokey pokey. But I turned myself around.
::) ::) ::) ;D :D :o :( >:( ;D :D ;) :)
Just call me Poston JR. ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: submarinesailor on November 15, 2013, 08:34:33 AM
Poston you asked for it: Just remember, once I was addicted to the hokey pokey. But I turned myself around.
::) ::) ::) ;D :D :o :( >:( ;D :D ;) :)
Just call me Poston JR. ;D ;D ;D
........that's what it's all about. :)
when the writer of the hokey pokey died the undertaker did this
first he put right leg in (the casket) then he......you know thw rest
DanG James....you know the song too. :D
The old standby saying around here...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIJBUZm1HoY
;)
Coxy
You have a great point. Maybe you don't! Just a sayin.
My Dad told me once...."Never own ANYTHING you aren't willing to drill a hole in". :D
"If your a Hammer, everything looks like a nail"
Liars can figure but figures don't lie. ;D
My dad would say don't force it get a bigger hammer smiley_smash
Drunker than nine snakes in a barrell
Fit as a fiddle and twice as twangy
"The barn door is open"
i.e.(so zip up.... )
Said that to the elderly neighbor farmer one day, and his response was..
"what can't get up, can't get out"
If you are waiting on me, you're backing up.....beep, beep, beep, beep.
"When everything is said and done, there will be a lot more said than done!"
Well this is all finer than frogs hair cut 4 ways.
I like "park your carcass"
My Grandmother use to say this: Don't be like the cat who wanted a fish but was afraid to get his paws wet.
I went and saw one of my Father friends. He was not feeling the best. He said he needed about 4 fingers in a bottom of a washtub to straighten him out. :o
Quote from: thecfarm on November 17, 2013, 09:17:36 PM
I went and saw one of my Father friends. He was not feeling the best. He said he needed about 4 fingers in a bottom of a washtub to straighten him out. :o
Makes since.....Good one! :)
Quote from: Peter Drouin on November 17, 2013, 07:33:29 AM
Liars can figure but figures don't lie. ;D
Hey, wait a minute :o. I learned it the other way 'round :D.
I'm as confused as a june bug under a street light. :-\
Cutting off a Mules ear doesn't make it a horse.
"Fog on the hill brings water to the mill"
"You may think it's funny that my nose is runny,.... but it's not"
How about -
He's slower than molasses in January.
My eyes lids are sticking together.
More story than just the saying, true story as it happens. There was a crusty old tech at work that had been there as long as the power plant or a bit longer. Like most with the experience to make things work he was pretty dismissive of the youngsters that were long on book learning and short on the experience needed to get things done. His usual and oft repeated comment about most of the young tech's was "He doesn't know jack 'poop' ". After hearing this from the old tech for years the day finally came for his retirement party. Along with the cake and other gifts someone had a baseball cap made for him, "I know jack 'poop!' "
The old tech finished in fine form: "Y'all get in a bind and need some advice on some of this hardware, don't even think about giving me a call!"
Hu
Good story Shootingarts. :)
"Don't let your alligator mouth get your hummingbird behind in a jam."
"He's rather climb a tree and tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell the truth."
My grandfather had a tobacco farm near Sparta, North Carolina. No electric, no indoor plumbing, he worked very hard and lived simply, and I adored him. When I was about 12, we were hoeing rows together and I was telling him about something that was bothering my mind. I don't even remember what had me upset, but he told me not to think about it. I told him that was hard to do, and he said, "Girl, you can't help the birds that fly over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair."
That is a good one... 8)
This may be a lil raunchy, but Mom use to say it from time to time, in regards to getting on with what needs done, the oldest of 12 born in 26',, I've heard it more than once, do it or get off the pot, it still sticks with me from time to time, she was a very Godly woman, just had lil use for wasted time I suppose, david
An elderly lady I worked for used to have a bunch of old sayings!
The hurrieder I go, the behinder I get!
He's not slow, He's not fast, He's half fast!
:D :D, Chuck, this one still stands true! love it, david
Good one Roxie. :D
Another one " he would tell a lie if the truth sounded better".
Greg
My former assistant was a trainer and she had a couple of sayings about some of her trainees:
"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer."
"One bottle shy of a six-pack."
;D
One of my favorites... wooden legs aren't hereditary, but wooden heads can be!
One I like when you hurt yourself, "That hurts worse than sliding down a razor blade into a pool of alcohol".
That log is as crooked as a dog's tail. ;D
Not sure how old the saying is,
You know, you can tell he is lying, his lips are moving.
Quote from: Hilltop366 on November 20, 2013, 07:38:42 AM
Not sure how old the saying is,
You know, you can tell he is lying, his lips are moving.
Somebody on here will know. :D
'Large as life and twice as ugly'
It's from the south end of a bull cow headed north.
Heard this one in my college naval science class:
Lt. Cmdr to the class: "The U.S. Military never retreats. We simply advance to the rear."
Gunnery Sergeant to the class: "Thats like me not telling you you're an idiot. You're all just smart in reverse."
From my grandfather. ..
-Ugly as a mud fence
-That guy would complain if you kicked him in the "rear" with a golden shoe.
-Daylight in the swamps! (our wake up call)
"That boy is dumb as the day is long"...heard that a time or two in my life :)
Quote from: VT_Forestry on November 20, 2013, 01:37:41 PM
"That boy is dumb as the day is long"...heard that a time or two in my life :)
Me too and I still hear it from my wife......... ::) ::) ::) ::) ::) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Bruce
My Grand-Mother use to sit on the porch with her other old girlfriends and gossip about all the other women up the street or from her church.
She'd rock in her chair while dipping snuff and spitting in a tin bean can.
When they go to telling a good story, us kids were listening. When she found out we were listening to her juicy story.....she'd say...."Now y'all kids go out in the yard and 'Play Purdy".
We'd say, Come on Grammy, we wanna hear!
She was 1 of a kind! :D
A well educated man with no common sense is like a stack of books strapped to the back of a jackass.
Quote from: Road Runner on November 20, 2013, 05:05:17 PM
A well educated man with no common sense is like a stack of books strapped to the back of a jackass.
Now this one takes the cake, Road Runner! :D :D :D :D :D
Quote from: Road Runner on November 20, 2013, 05:05:17 PM
A well educated man with no common sense is like a stack of books strapped to the back of a jackass.
My brother the lawyer resents that!!!
I had a boss once, that was arguing with me about how I was going to make an accounting entry. Explaining to him that every debit must have a credit wasn't working, and he was asking me to just "do" two debits. He became annoyed with me, and as he threw back his head, informed me that he had taken a year of accounting theory. I said, "Well, right there is the problem! You're all sail with no ship!"
I use this one from time to time, especially when I ran into young, "smart" officers in the Navy :
"Just because you got an education does not make you smart........Sir."
Quote from: clww on November 20, 2013, 07:19:34 PM
I use this one from time to time, especially when I ran into young, "smart" officers in the Navy :
"Just because you got an education does not make you smart........Sir."
Well said, I could have used that a few time through my 20 years! ::)
"Get out side and wait until I have time to shoot you"
My grandfather's variation of "It's too nice to be inside, go out and play"
"So stun as a kellick"
an old saying to mean that a person is not too bright. A kellick is a homemade anchor.
one of my shop teachers always said "that kid hammers like lighting, he never strikes the same spot twice" when ever you missed the nail.
I can still hear my Father say to me,use your head besides something for a hat rack,
if brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose...
To the one that's always talking, "the steam the blows the whistle, will never turn the wheel."
My mother when describing me sometimes would say " he doesn't have the sense that God gave a goose". The sad truth was that she was correct. :(
A few more come to mind:
"Things are going to heck in a handbasket"
About folks with book learning and no smarts: "He's been educated beyond his intelligence"
Used to be endless sayings about somebody's lack of brains, I'm sure there still are. This was from Jr. High. "If brains were gas his wouldn't be enough gas for a car for an amoeba to make it halfway around the inside of a cheerio, . . . . taking the short cut!"
Oh yeah brains: "When the good lord was passing out brains they thought he said rain and went the other way."
Hu
Like winkin' at a blind girl......it just doesn't work.
One my father used to use alot, mostly at my brother that hated to be in the woods...... I have to sight by a pole to see you move!! ;D
I used to work with a guy that would never take his girlfriend to a bar.
He always said that would be like taking a Sandwich to a Banquet or taking Sand to a Beach. :D :D :D
I think he's dead now. say_what
Natural causes, or...? :D
one old saying i have not heard in a while is he keeps bankers hours. meaning he does not start early in the morning and does not work many hours.
Heard many times from and old friend, " as useless as a rubber beak on a woodpecker" or when he was irritated in a discussion he would say " I refuse to have a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed". :laugh:
What goes around comes around.
My fathers favorite, meeting a bunch of unlucky fishermen back at the dock. "Misery loves company"
......it's like shooting pool with a rope. :D
"The apple don't fall far from the tree"
"Strong as a bull and almost as smart"
Strong like ox, smart like tractor.
An old pro bowler, now passed, use to say when tapped by a ten pin, " Horse Feathers!"
never did get it, still don't, and not sure why I said it this morning, good memories,
david
Horse Feathers refers to the long hair on the back of a horses lower legs & feet!
Its not a saying but I've only heard this in the South:
"Its all kattywampus and bojangled." Translation for fellow Yankees: off kilter
Not from the south, but have heard and used "kattywampus" for years. Also heard the bojangled but never heard them together. That would add just confusion to the description. ;)
One of many from my father.
" A short pencil's better than a long memory "
Some days you're the dog, Some days you're the fire hydrant
ya all got my kattaywompas one before it got to " Nip it in the Budd"
LOL! I like the dog fire hydrant one. I'll be using that!
it's hard to soar like a eagle, if you fly with buzzards.
Very old racing sayings...
"When the green flag drops, the bull stops". (gate drops now!)
"The most important nut of the motorcycle is the one that ties the handlebars to the foot pegs"
I have heard it is hard to soar with eagles when surrounded by turkeys.
my Dad would say "are you hittin' where you're lookin', or lookin' where you're hittin'" when I would miss swinging a hammer when I was a kid.
I have been "cattywhampus" on occasion :).
Quote from: stamper on November 22, 2013, 03:03:07 PM
Some days you're the dog, Some days you're the fire hydrant
... or the modern version ...
Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.
Marine Corps Engineer way of fixing things: "Beat to fit and paint to match".
If you broke down positions on a baseball field to Marine Corp job titles, all grunts would be playing catcher: Bullet catcher!
Just a few I have either said or heard: "I can get more intellect out of that pile of lumber."
"Shut your mouth when your talking to me."
the rest cannot be repeated.
Good thread!
Roxie got my fav from my Granny about the birds nesting..
"Haulin' the mail" ...moving at a great velocity.
:)
useless as teats on boar hog 8)
One oh crap blows away 500 ata boys
Getting people to do things without success 'Like herding cats' and as stated earlier, 'like pushing a rope'.
The guy who built me as a program/product manager in my former international life used a phrase that as been stuck with me for the last 20 years..
When dealing with those who you needed to get to do things but had no authority to dictate, he would give his advice followed by..."Just remember; You can't push a string" a derivative of your rope saying..
My father in law who was a big union guy saying was..
"Those you step on the way up, are the ones you pass again on the way back down"
Quote from: samandothers on November 22, 2013, 07:49:02 PM
I have heard it is hard to soar with eagles when surrounded by turkeys.
I remember when that was real popular. Before that was a saying that reflected on yourself also.
"It is hard to soar with the eagles when you have been out all night with the owls."
A favorite that I actually posted in the waiting area of my business for awhile was: "This ain't BurgerKing. You get it my way or you don't get it" (slightly cleaned up version) That was the way I operated but I decided it wasn't a good idea to advertise it!
The pressures could be a little intense in a position at the nuke plant when I retrained to a desk job after an injury. One morning my boss made four visits to my desk in less than ten minutes, each time handing me a rush project. Fourth trip I had to tell him, "Hold up a minute, which rush do you want to rush first?" I had a cartoon of a little guy squished almost to nothing in a press by my desk there. The caption was "Squeeze basset, I work better under pressure!"
The secretaries had a sign that said "51% sweetheart, 49% witch, don't push your luck!" or something like that.
Other favorites, "Our highly trained and efficient staff are waiting to serve you" with a group of gorillas in the picture or cartoon, sometimes chimps. I hung that one on my salvage yard wall for awhile too, another that cut to close to the truth and had to come down along with the "You want it when?" sign with everybody roaring with laughter.
I collected the cartoons and sayings for many years and threw away a several inch thick stack of them when I decided to no longer keep them as just dust collectors after "retiring". Speaking of retiring there was my little sign, "Hill, what hill? Where? When? I don't remember any hill."
Hu
One that I use on occasion is: I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
When something is broken beyond repair "Yup, it's cratered".
Sign in the saw shop we use. "I can please only one person a day, today is not your day, tomorrow isn't looking good either."
Quote from: Sheepkeeper on November 23, 2013, 03:16:51 PM
One that I use on occasion is: I'd rather be over the hill than under it.
My mom was quite a lady. What she said and published in one of her books was, "I may be over the hill but I'm on my way up the mountain!"
Hu
A friend had got a sign for me that said
Answers: $1.00
Correct Answers: $2.00
Answers that require thought: $4.00
Dumb looks: Free
used to be a big thrift shop on the jersey shore that had a huge sign that said
"You break it you bought it"
if bull manure was electric you would be a walking power house :D
Grandpa always said..."You can't make chicken salad out of chicken droppings!" I laughed every time.
Hit up the backside with a rainbow. (crude form of born with a silver spoon in his mouth)
Can't breed kangaroos out of wallabies. ( Hard to breed tall kids from small parents)
My grandmother once told me, "Vultures and hummingbirds fly over the same desert. The vultures see death and rotting flesh, the hummingbirds see bright beautiful flowers. Each bird finds what it is looking for."
Quote from: Roxie on November 24, 2013, 08:47:47 AM
My grandmother once told me, "Vultures and hummingbirds fly over the same desert. The vultures see death and rotting flesh, the hummingbirds see bright beautiful flowers. Each bird finds what it is looking for."
How true. :)
I know a few vulture people and more hummingbird people.
Guess which ones I am around more? ;D
I like that saying.
David, this is one of those threads that is gonna keep going for quite some time. Thanks!
cattywompus?...... is that the same as discombobulated?
Quote from: Buck on November 24, 2013, 10:09:09 AM
cattywompus?...... is that the same as discombobulated?
I'll have to ask WDH on that one. :D
Quote from: thecfarm on November 24, 2013, 09:52:09 AM
I know a few vulture people and more hummingbird people.
Guess which ones I am around more? ;D
I like that saying.
Ray, did you just call yourself a bright beautiful flower?! ??? ::) ;) :D
Roxie, I think that's my favorite so far. :) Alot of good ones though!
John,Many would beg to differ on that one. ;D
cattywompus?...... is that the same as discombobulated?
Completely different Apples and Oranges from my bringins up
Before my 6th grade talent show my grandfather said "Boy, you look more nervous then a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs." I never forgot that.
My dad has a million of these sayings but almost all of them are not forum friendly. It's too bad because they are funny.
A love bug will light on a road apple as soon as it would a daisy. Marry in haste, regret at your leisure.
Quote from: LAZERDAN on November 24, 2013, 11:08:32 AM
cattywompus?...... is that the same as discombobulated?
Often related...
If you were out fishing, and your boat capsized, the boat would be cattywompus and you would be discombobulated. So it's often that one follows the other. :D
I use the sayings (and have heard them used) such that cattywampus is out of alignment (no order), and not straight (maybe like jackstraws).
And discombobulated as something being apart, or has come/fallen apart, kinda like the straw man in the Wizard of OZ.
Only as I have grown up hearing them used.
use to call the old mack a rolls can hardly rolls down one hill and can hardly make it up the other :)
Something that was warped or won't fit was called "Whoppy-Jawed.
Mom used to tell me when I had small problems that I thought were Earth-stopping "That is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick!" She was always right. Andy
We had a Rather dishonest neighbor. my dad would say if his lips are moving hes lying or Too many chiefs not enough injuns.
You'd have better luck "Baptizing a Cat" than changing her mind. :D
"Quieter than a Church mouse blowing bubbles in a feather bed"
"Good enough for who it's for" when finishing a project.
Quote from: beenthere on November 24, 2013, 08:52:35 PM
"Good enough for who it's for" when finishing a project.
:D :D :D
looks good cant see it from my house
Quote from: beenthere on November 24, 2013, 08:51:27 PM
"Quieter than a Church mouse blowing bubbles in a feather bed"
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on November 24, 2013, 08:07:47 PM
You'd have better luck "Baptizing a Cat" than changing her mind. :D
they are funny :D :D :D :D
I done got mine, get yours and come on. Charge it to the sand and let the wind blow it away.
Here are a few I heard coming up: The young man asking the old man about his possible loss of sex drive, the old man replied; "No way! An old rat loves cheese, just like a young rat!"
Grand Pa's famous pick-up line: "You got the honey, I got the money!"
It's a bad wind that never changes!
It's a long way between a steak and a poker game.
I can't kill nothing, and won't nothing die!
8) 8) 8)
One that I had printed and hung in our shop from opening was , Banks don't fix motorcycles and we don't do credit .
Something my dad said that stuck with me over the years...
Just remember, when dealing with so-called experts - an ex is a has-been and a spurt is nothing more than a drip under pressure.
and from a song -
That is an old saying I just made up.
From my Army days: "Take care, the toes you step on today may be connected to the butt you have to kiss tomorrow."
Quote from: BobInMN on November 25, 2013, 08:18:19 PM
From my Army days: "Take care, the toes you step on today may be connected to the butt you have to kiss tomorrow."
This one gets five stars! *****. This is sooooo true! :D
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on November 25, 2013, 08:41:42 PM
Quote from: BobInMN on November 25, 2013, 08:18:19 PM
From my Army days: "Take care, the toes you step on today may be connected to the butt you have to kiss tomorrow."
This one gets five stars! *****. This is sooooo true! :D
Poston How many butts have you kiss ? :D :D :D
Quote from: Peter Drouin on November 25, 2013, 09:48:59 PM
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on November 25, 2013, 08:41:42 PM
Quote from: BobInMN on November 25, 2013, 08:18:19 PM
From my Army days: "Take care, the toes you step on today may be connected to the butt you have to kiss tomorrow."
This one gets five stars! *****. This is sooooo true! :D
Poston How many butts have you kiss ? :D :D :D
I think you're up the ladder more than me...... :D
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on November 26, 2013, 07:16:10 AM
Quote from: Peter Drouin on November 25, 2013, 09:48:59 PM
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on November 25, 2013, 08:41:42 PM
Quote from: BobInMN on November 25, 2013, 08:18:19 PM
From my Army days: "Take care, the toes you step on today may be connected to the butt you have to kiss tomorrow."
This one gets five stars! *****. This is sooooo true! :D
Poston How many butts have you kiss ? :D :D :D
I think you're up the ladder more than me...... :D
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D smiley_wavy
One I've heard more than I wanted to: "You've made your bed, now you sleep in it!"
My Father made this one up. My Mother would make something and she would say,I don't think it came out right and my wonderful,dear, thoughtful Father would be so nice to say to her,I will eat it,if it kills me. My Mother hated that saying. :D I can still hear him say it.
Quote from: thecfarm on November 26, 2013, 03:47:52 PM
My Father made this one up. My Mother would make something and she would say,I don't think it came out right and my wonderful,dear, thoughtful Father would be so nice to say to her,I will eat it,if it kills me. My Mother hated that saying. :D I can still hear him say it.
:D
Yet your mother would keep saying "I don't think it came out right" just so she could hear "I will eat it if it kills me".
Maybe your father was just trying to let her know he didn't like hearing her say "it didn't come out right" and didn't dare express that thought. ;)
Good smart 'ol dad was going to eat whatever she fixed, and knew better than to complain about it. ;D
Quote from: beenthere on November 24, 2013, 08:52:35 PM
"Good enough for who it's for" when finishing a project.
Pretty much my stock answer for anytime a boss asked what something looked like after I finished it, "Looks good from my house." Was working a job in Terre Haute Indiana when I gave a boss that answer. "You can see it from your house? Where is your house at?"
"Baton Rouge, Louisiana."
Hu
That guy is soooo stupid, he couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heal. 8)
Ask her the time, she'll tell you how to build a clock.
I have time to do it right , I don't have time to do it twice.
" You look better goin' than you do a comming"
An old timer once told a group of us young men, in reference to choosing your female companionship - "You lay down with dogs, you wake up with fleas"
one of my mother's favorite sayings about her cooking. done or raw it will fill your craw.
smother then a baby s but
the meat is tougher then shoe leather
"Quieter'n a Church mouse blowing bubbles in a feather bed"
that's flatter then a pancake dad always told me if I hade half a brain I would be dangerous ;D
that guy is loonier then a bunch of cartoons
sometimes ya get, sometimes ya get got.
My wife says "if they can put a man on the moon, why can't they put them all there"
Her father would say "the p is silent as in swimming" (think about it)
He's 20 years older than dirt.
"They wouldn't be happy if you hung 'em with a new rope."
"She is so skinny she accidentally swallowed an olive whole and three guys left town!"
"Where there is a will there is a way." "That's what the lawyers always say."
Willie Nelson: "I went to bed at two with a ten and woke up at ten with a two."
Hu
he is as bright as a burnt out light bulb
A popular one in this area
"If ya ain't Dutch, ya ain't much"
usually responded to by
"wooden shoes, wooden head, wooden listen"
Nick
Quote from: nas on November 28, 2013, 07:59:17 AM
A popular one in this area
"If ya ain't Dutch, ya ain't much"
usually responded to by
"wooden shoes, wooden head, wooden listen"
Nick
:D :D
Quote from: nas on November 28, 2013, 07:59:17 AM
A popular one in this area
"If ya ain't Dutch, ya ain't much"
usually responded to by
"wooden shoes, wooden head, wooden listen"
Nick
I heard this on "Oh Brother Where Art Thou" but pretty sure it has been around a lot longer than that. "You ain't no kind of man if you don't have land." Might not be quite true but having owned land free and clear a few times it sure does make the place feel a lot more like home and makes me feel a lot more grounded in more ways than one.
Hu
"____ ain't worth the powder and lead it'd take to send them to Kingdom Come!"
Dunno if that's a common one, but I remember a good ol' WW2 vet that used to say it a lot. :D
An Old Timer once said, "Don't use sweetgum fenceposts unless you like to round up cows."
:D :D :D
Quote from: WDH on November 29, 2013, 07:44:18 AM
An Old Timer once said, "Don't use sweetgum fenceposts unless you like to round up cows."
:D :D :D
Its to early for this...........oh what the heck, :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
I really like that, especially since I grew up with fencepost, cows, and.........Sweetgum.
"That boy is sharp as a bowling ball"
"This job is going to be as easy as sticking a wet noddle up a wild cats backside"
"Strait as a dogs hind leg"
"That boy is useful as a screen door on a submarine"
He's not afraid of hard work. He can lay right down next to it and go to sleep.
I've heard this in reference to education these days.
You all know what B.S. is- "Bull(poop)"
I've been told that an M.S. is "More of the Same."
And P.H.D is just "Piled Higher and Deeper."
It's your wagon......you pull it!
Quote from: customsawyer on November 29, 2013, 09:59:54 AM
"That boy is sharp as a bowling ball"
"This job is going to be as easy as sticking a wet noddle up a wild cats backside"
"Strait as a dogs hind leg"
"That boy is useful as a screen door on a submarine"
lol I remember a lot of those being directed at us recruits in the Military! lol
Mark
Quote from: dustyjay on November 29, 2013, 10:13:49 PM
I've heard this in reference to education these days.
You all know what B.S. is- "Bull(poop)"
I've been told that an M.S. is "More of the Same."
And P.H.D is just "Piled Higher and Deeper."
I'm thinkin I heard that "old" saying back in high school... the "old" old days. ;D
And BS is Bovine Scat... ;)
"screen door on a submarine".
I wonder how many time I have heard that one.
Bruce
Quote from: submarinesailor on November 30, 2013, 09:33:08 PM
"screen door on a submarine".
I wonder how many time I have heard that one.
Bruce
:D :D :D :D :D
"The Pessimist complains about the wind;
The Optimist expects it to change;
The Realist adjusts the sails."
Whatever you put in the well is gonna come up in the bucket.
Man makes plans and God smiles. My Grandmother used to say that all the time.
Can't help but laugh, but GIANT SPLINTER was talking in another thread about how a guy was slow.
He said this old saying......"If they hang me, I hope they send him for the rope". :D :D :D :D
There's one born every minute...
Where did "pith poor" come from?
If you're young and hip, this is still interesting.
NOW THIS IS A REAL EDUCATION:
Us older people (WE older people) need to learn something new every day...
Just to keep the grey matter tuned up.
Where did "pith Poor" come from? Interesting history.
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot.
And then once it was full it was taken and sold to the tannery...
if you had to do this to survive you were "pith Poor."
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...
They "didn't have a pot to pith in" and were the lowest of the low.
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
Here are some facts about the 1500's:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May,
And they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.
Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.
The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water,
Then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children.
Last of all the babies.
By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!"
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.
It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof.
When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs." There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.
This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed.
Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection.
That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing..
As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.
(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.
Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.
Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.
Hence the rhyme:
,,Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off.
It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon."
They would cut off a little to share with guests
And would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter.
Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death.
This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status..
Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky.
The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days..
Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.
They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around
and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.
Hence the custom; ,,holding a wake."
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people.
So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave.
When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive.
So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.
Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, ,,saved by the bell" or was "considered a dead ringer."
And that's the truth.
Now, whoever said history was boring!!!
So get out there and educate someone!
Share these facts with a friend.
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering,
"What the heck happened?"
We'll be friends until we are old and senile.
Then we'll be new friends.
Smile, it gives your face something to do!
that was pretty neat ;D 8)
Reading some of these to the wife, says to post her grannies saying.
"You can't tell how fat a rooster is by looking him in the face"
Never....Ever.....Let your mouth write a check your butt can't cash!
Every time I turn around I keep thinking about another old saying, usually because I am using it in a post!
However the story about how things came to be reminds me of this story:
The old bell ringer at a church got too feeble to ring the bell to call people to services any longer so with great regret the priest posted an ad in the paper seeking a new bell ringer.
The very first applicant to show up had no arms! The priest explained what the job entailed and tried to gently explain that the man couldn't possibly do the job. The man insisted that he could and asked the priest to climb the bell tower with him. When they got to the top the man ran across the small platform and smashed his face into the bell. The priest was horrified but the bell made the most beautiful sound it had ever made and the man assured him that he was fine and could handle the job. The man begged so long and ardently that the priest gave him the job.
The very next Sunday the man ran across the platform, missed the bell, and fell to his death eighty feet below! Naturally the law and coroner had to come out and a report be made. The police asked the man's name and only then did the priest realize he had never asked. "I don't know but his face rings a bell."
This was all very sad but the priest still needed a bell ringer so he ran another ad. Again the first person to respond had no arms, looked identical to the man that had just fell. The priest was stunned but the man explained that he and the other man were identical twins right down to their handicap. However he said he was much more careful than his brother. After much pleading the priest reluctantly went up the tower with the man. The man ran and smashed his face into the bell and again the bell made that glorious sound. The priest had grave misgivings but gave the man the job.
The very next Sunday the man missed the bell just like his brother and fell to his death. Again the law and coroner had to come out, again questions were asked. When he was asked the bell ringer's name the priest realized in his astonishment at seemingly seeing his deceased bell ringer reappear he had forgotten to ask this man his name either. "I don't know his name but he is a dead ringer for his brother!"
Hu
It is easier to grow strong children than to repair broken men.
This is as about as fun as watching paint dry
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on December 08, 2013, 12:13:34 PM
It is easier to grow strong children than to repair broken men.
That is very good, and always relevant.
That girl's got a face that'll make a freight train take a dirt road!
Quote from: VT_Forestry on December 13, 2013, 06:58:15 AM
That girl's got a face that'll make a freight train take a dirt road!
:D
Will Rogers said.....
Good judgement comes from experience
Experience comes from bad judgement
Why don't they pass a Constitutional Amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as Prohibition did, in five years we will have the smartest people on earth.
-Will Rogers
Don't use your head for a hat rack franken-smiley say_what
Things my grandfather said
I was almost as bright as an empty lantern
My dad was the lowest no account he ever met but he bet I would surpass him
If I kept my trap shut once in a while folks wouldn't know how ignorant his grandson was.
Or at the barber shop .... I needed a lot of haircuts cause I had crap for brains and it fertilized my hair
He was almost bald and said "every time you had a good idea you lost a hair and that my hair got thicker everyday!!!"
I was going to be one of the lucky ones who get to float through life(cause I was so full of hot air)
If he kicked the crap out of me there wouldn't be anything left
If I ever said anything anything at all remotely intelligent he would die a happy man
At then kitchen table
It was usually
I eat like I have a hollow leg
had a farmer ask me one day if a horse kicked me in the head recently
There is an old New England Yankee saying that "Ash is Cash." You can go to the woodlot and cut ash firewood then sell it in town for immediate cash.
My favorite Yankee phrase is :
Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without!
AMEN.
This is good. I have never heard this. smiley_thumbsup
Quote from: 1woodguy on December 16, 2013, 05:58:08 AM
Things my grandfather said
I was almost as bright as an empty lantern
My dad was the lowest no account he ever met but he bet I would surpass him
If I kept my trap shut once in a while folks wouldn't know how ignorant his grandson was.
Or at the barber shop .... I needed a lot of haircuts cause I had crap for brains and it fertilized my hair
He was almost bald and said "every time you had a good idea you lost a hair and that my hair got thicker everyday!!!"
I was going to be one of the lucky ones who get to float through life(cause I was so full of hot air)
If he kicked the crap out of me there wouldn't be anything left
If I ever said anything anything at all remotely intelligent he would die a happy man
At then kitchen table
It was usually
I eat like I have a hollow leg
had a farmer ask me one day if a horse kicked me in the head recently
I had a guy like that come in to the shop to buy a saw.Every second sentence put down his kids and he told me what idiots they were.My blood was starting to boil so I said, "I heard the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"
He left and I rejoiced that he did.
A fella I know had someone (complete stranger to both of us) compliment his kids...
"That's a fine looking group of youngins' you got there!"
To which he replied, jokingly:
"If only they minded as good as they look!"
Quote from: Paul_H on December 16, 2013, 11:08:44 AM
I had a guy like that come in to the shop to buy a saw.Every second sentence put down his kids and he told me what idiots they were.My blood was starting to boil so I said, "I heard the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"
He left and I rejoiced that he did.
Paul......I'm sitting on pins and needles, (old saying)......did he buy the saw????? :D
No,he got the hint but in answer to my comment he said as quick as a cat- "yeah,their mother is a ditz" ::)
It's too bad he wasn't twins,eh? :)
my grandfather and I actually got along well
(sometimes I did things to see how mad I could get him)(or he thought something I was doing was crazy but after he calmed down and tryed to see it as I did we were usually ok,then he would laugh and say my balls are bigger than my brain)
I spent a lot more time at their place than any of the other grand kids
He took me to work with him a lot and all the guys at the shop had to put up with me
( he would come by to get me if I hadn't stayed over in awhile
And explained that life had a way of evening out and he had a couple of good weeks so to balance the scale ...did I want to stay over his place)
Or he needed a taste of hell to remind him to get right with his maker
I remember one time I was about eight he said"I'm going to let you in on a secret,you can't tell anyone and we can make a few bucks each ...
And the B.S. story about how my parents were offering to pay him to get me out of their hair and if I didn't let on we could split it"
:DI made sure to go shopping with him to spent my share!!!! :D
Or my grandmas main goal in life was to make his life miserable
And she wanted him to pick me up ....
So asked grandma if she asked him to get me she said no ,he missed aggravating me)
we hunted and trapped fished
he Collected coins when I showed an interest in it he loaded me up
And later did the same with stamps
Parents moved away and grandpa wanted me to stay but I had to go with them
its so ugly that a mother couldn't love it
The version I have heard is " a face that only a mother could love ".
Another that I have heard that is similar is " love is blind ".
What I believe to be true however is the following.
It is said that love is blind but I believe the opposite is true. I think that love gives the owner a clearness of sight that is not found anywhere else.
"Big like tree, smart like stump"
"Lazier than a cut cat"
"Never argue with the Rear Echelons"
" Tighter than Dick's hatband "
Quote from: r.man on December 17, 2013, 07:14:33 AM
The version I have heard is " a face that only a mother could love ".
then only under protest
........ is so ugly, it'd make an onion cry! :D
Speaking of ugly and tears-
a friend of ours was a good dentist but not so good at carpentry. He built a cart to take their garbage cans to the curb for pickup.He proudly took it out to the curb on Friday morning and the garbage men threw the garbage and the cart into the truck. Poor Lionel never lived it down and his wife laughed to tears when telling the story.
Quote from: Paul_H on December 18, 2013, 11:27:24 AM
Speaking of ugly and tears-
a friend of ours was a good dentist but not so good at carpentry. He built a cart to take their garbage cans to the curb for pickup.He proudly took it out to the curb on Friday morning and the garbage men threw the garbage and the cart into the truck. Poor Lionel never lived it down and his wife laughed to tears when telling the story.
I'm laughing in tears :D....good story Paul!
Quote from: Paul_H on December 18, 2013, 11:27:24 AM
Speaking of ugly and tears-
a friend of ours was a good dentist but not so good at carpentry. He built a cart to take their garbage cans to the curb for pickup.He proudly took it out to the curb on Friday morning and the garbage men threw the garbage and the cart into the truck. Poor Lionel never lived it down and his wife laughed to tears when telling the story.
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D smiley_thumbsup
Qui rira , rira dernier ......
I had to be able to put one in here, and I only know them in French... ;D
Those who laughs first laughs last.
"He who laughs last laughs best". ;)
as my grandfather would win yet another hand at cards, he would throw the cards down, bang his fist on the table ( scare nervous granny ) and say, Dang* I'm good!
The old coon walks last.
Still rivers run deep.
Runs as smoothly as a pig on stilts!
How about some "sayings" that compliment people?
Seems we have read a lot of them that put down or make fun of women for something that they couldn't do anything about. Just thinking there must be some out there. For me, I've read enough of "she's ugly" ones.
No offense meant to anyone posting them, but would like to see some that are a bit more positive.
Or am I just in a foul mood or too DanG sensitive ?
Quote from: beenthere on December 20, 2013, 09:03:04 PM
How about some "sayings" that compliment people?
Name 1. :) I don't think they are any.
You first. :D
I agree with Beenthere and am a bit surprised at the lack of honour shown from parents to children in so many of the sayings.When the apostle Paul was bitten by a venomous snake,he tossed it in the fire where it would harm nobody else.Words can be like venomous snakes.
The simple lack of her is more to me than others' presence. ~Edward Thomas
I can live for two months on a good compliment. ~Mark Twain
Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda. ~Homer Simpson
The mind is like a clock that is constantly running down. It has to be wound up daily with good thoughts."
Fulton J. Sheen
Everyone is ignorant only on different subjects. -- Will Rogers (1879-1935)
What good is running when you're on the wrong road. -- German (on planning)
The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty. Proverbs
22:3
A good spouse and health is a person's best wealth. -- Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
Pretty as a flower.
They act like two peas in a pod.
But I can remember many of them old sayings was said with a smile too.
pretty as a peach
You can't change the truth, but the truth can change you.
Quote from: thecfarm on December 20, 2013, 10:23:08 PM
But I can remember many of them old sayings was said with a smile too.
ah yes Grasshoppa but The teeth that laugh are also those that bite. :laugh:
Keep smiling and one day life will get tired of upsetting you.
Never give up!
Clean your finger before you point at my spots. Ben Franklin.
He that resolves to mend hereafter, resolves not to mend now. -- Ben Franklin (1706-1790)
May the wind be always at your back.
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it- Proverbs
"Watch yore top knot" ~ Jeremiah Johnson
Some sayings I have heard from my youth describing another person- They are...
Smart as a whip
Strong as a bull
Wise as an Owl
Swift as a Deer
Sure footed as a Goat
Loyal as a Dog
Cunning as a Fox
Quote from: beenthere on December 20, 2013, 10:29:33 PM
Never give up!
Every time I hear that, I think of the stork swallowing a frog with the frog 1/2 out of the beak with long arms and hands around the throat of the stork keeping it from being swallowed.
Good things come to those who persevere! My dad always said to me when I was about to drive away " Don't go over a hundred and fifty unless you have to" That was his saying :)
Quote from: Holmes on December 21, 2013, 08:05:33 AM
" Don't go over a hundred and fifty unless you have to" That was his saying :)
:)
While driving @ 57 mph:
Ma: "Slow down!"
Granny: "I don't care if you floored it and we took off a flyin'!"
I always minded my Granny!
Reminds me of
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do" although never heard my Dad say that. ;D
Not sure how common this on is, only heard it once..... from Dad. But it has stuck with me all these years.
"At least three times a day, ask yourself:
Who am I?
Where am I?
What am I doing?
What am I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?!?"
:-[ Maybe it will become more popular someday now that I've shared it.
from my brother Jim, which have also stuck with me for years. Very sound advice:
"Don't give advice, the wise don't need it, and the fools won't heed it."
Who am I?
Where am I?
What am I doing?
What am I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?!?"
Thanks for sharing Jack. I will start asking myself these questions Monday morning. ;D
Who am I?
(I would never get past that one :)).
Justin Wilson the Cajun comedian and cook had a saying to describe certain ladies: "She is so good looking I looked her up one side and right back down the same side!"
Unfortunately it is the unkind things we remember, they are usually funnier anyway!
One more saying found at many businesses and offices. "Everyone that passes through this doorway brightens my day. Some by coming, some by going!
There was quite an attractive co-worker that had recently been hired at a friend's workplace. The guys couldn't resist talking about her a little, nothing crude. Just as my friend commented she was cuter than a speckled pup she rounded a nearby corner, so close it was obvious she had heard the comment. When another guy in the group commented about it my friend stuck by his guns with the lady still in earshot. "If she doesn't know that is quite a compliment I feel sorry for her, she has never seen a speckled pup!"
Hu
Be careful how you choose your friends.....I would rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies.
Remember when we were all young and wishing we would hurry up and grow up so we could do what we wanted to, when we wanted to?
Well how's that working out for you? ???
I try to work smarter not harder
Many hands,make light work.
Idle hands are the devils work shop
Whenever my mom asked great grandma "What is that?" Great grandma would answer "I put that there to catch meddlers"
I don't think ma got the joke until after great grandma passed away....
He's got more excuses than an old coon hound has fleas. ;D
If you could buy him for what he is worth and sell him for what he thinks he is worth, you would get rich. ;D
If you put lipstick on a pig, it is still a pig. ;D
An old German saying, translated by my grandfather.
When a man with experience meets a man with money, the man with the experience gets the money and the man with the money gets the experience.
;D ;D ;D :o 8) 8) 8) 8) smiley_eek_dropjaw smiley_eek_dropjaw smiley_eek_dropjaw smiley_eek_dropjaw smiley_eek_dropjaw smiley_eek_dropjaw smiley_eek_dropjaw smiley_eek_dropjaw smiley_eek_dropjaw smiley_eek_dropjaw smiley_eek_dropjaw smiley_eek_dropjaw smiley_biggrin01
When ever my father got praised for anything, he would always say "Yep, no flies on me, that's for sure" or "The grass don't grow under my feet"
And then there's "The only thing wrong with that machine is the operator!"
I just heard this on an old episode of "Maverick".
he said.....A man is the only animal you can skin more than once.
In reference to beating another player twice at a big poker game.
I heard a new one for me yesterday.
"As fine as a frog hair split three ways".
I don't care who you are, that is fine.
danny
do you split frog hairs on your woodmizer? or does jake split them with his chainsaw? :D :D ;D
you should be recieving a gift from me in the next couple of days.
note to self...(you) you might want to be careful where you open the gift , so it dosent fall on your shed it may not withstand the bounty of this gift ;D
If I need a frog hair split, I always call Jake.
I bet that Julio could make an awesome frog hair soup.
Poston could sell a $300 oak slab to a Frog Haired Dude.
I might be back in the Shed-Design-Business soon after I receive your "gift" :). I might need a Snow-Load-Consultant.
An old horse trader once told me; Son, just remember, you can shear a sheep every year but you can only skin him once.
A January fog will freeze a Febuary dog , pretty well sums it up !
One my 11 year old son just told me:
Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
You can roast beef, but you can't pee soup!
We have all heard or used the expression"the rule of thumb for such and such is",well tonight my wife enlightened me as to where that one came from.
Seems that back in time it was illegal for a man to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.She looked at my hands and said "I should have married a smaller man' She comes up with some dillies.
Welcome Wovennut. Where you from? Got a sawmill? Hammer? Another Old Saying? :D :D :D
Glad to have you here!
Coshocton, Ohio. Have an enercraft manual mill which I added a hydraulic log turner, love the mill
wovennut,welcome to the forum. enercraft was that made in Canada or brought out by another sawmill outfit,Baker? Not many around.
Welcome to the Forestry Forum, Wovennut!
Enercraft was made in Canada and was bought out by Baker. There the same mill as there Baker 18. A nice well built mill.
One of those mills was for sale in Turner,about ½ from me. There is always something there for sale,buckets for excavators,dump truck bodies,an enercraft sawmill ;D. Its at a chain gas station. Never no one around,just a phone number on it.
Enercraft is a well built portable mill. Baker still has parts for them.
Welcome to the Forestry forum, wovennut.
Come to think of it, I have a bunch of sayings I had from the Navy.
Problem is, I can't post them on here.... :-\
Shane G,welcome to the forum. Looks like you have a mill? Been sawing long?
Hungry is better than ketchup.
Quote from: Hilltop366 on February 07, 2014, 09:09:30 AM
Hungry is better than ketchup.
TheCfarm and Red Oak Lumber would say....Hungry is better then Grits. :D :D :D
Now this is going much too far. Where is my Friend Coon when I need him?? ???
Maigicman,Coon won't be much help to ya. He's on my side.
:D
OK Ray, maybe not always on my side, but I can always depend upon him. smiley_thumbsup :D
"Where are we going, and why are we in this basket?"
I had an old carpenter working for me back in the '70s. His most used descriptions of bad boards, while sighting down them were, "crooked as a dog's hind leg", and "ugly enough to make a train take a dirt road".
Welcome to the Forestry forum, Tom King. :)
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on February 07, 2014, 04:28:25 PM
Quote from: Hilltop366 on February 07, 2014, 09:09:30 AM
Hungry is better than ketchup.
TheCfarm and Red Oak Lumber would say....Hungry is better then Grits. :D :D :D
I bet they would say anything is better than grits.
It's more along the lines of ketchup will make things taste better but not as much as being hungry.
No me gusta ketchup. Da me chiltepines. Yeeeee Haaaaaa ;D
Heard this on an old Western movie today:
What a person considers a short time....depends on which end of the branding iron you're on. :D
I like that one Dave!
Very True! :o
One I heard more than once from my parents who were thrifty, hard-working people: "beggars can't be choosers".
Cogito ergo sum.
Now that's old. ;D 8) 8) 8)
Wit is educated insolence.
-Aristotle
He knew. Probably one of the more insolent of his age. ;D
Har. ;D 8) 8) 8)
"He was born in the basement and never brought up"
My mother would always tell me " if anything is worth doing, it's worth doing right".
My dad would say "this thing isn't worth the powder to blow it up".
In aviation "pound it to fit, file it to finish, and paint it to match".
Origin of a couple sayings harkening back to muzzle loading rifle days " I'll take the whole kit and kaboodle"-referring to the rifle and all the accoutrements it takes to load, clean and care for the rifle.
Another one "he bought the whole thing, lock, stock and barrel" referring to the parts of the rifle as a whole complete unit.
One that I have used, don't know if I heard it somewhere or came up with it-referring to hired help or the usefulness of a hired hand "sometimes you just have to cut off the dead wood and let it float on down the river".
Use your head for some thing besides a hat rack
goose,that sounded just like my Father. ;D
My father: "Take a good look at me. If you live a good life and take care of yourself, you'll still look this good some day!"
;D
I've had "to many irons in the fire" to post on this thread.
My grandpappy always said
Don't ever try to teach a pig to sing
Its a waste of time
and it annoys the pig
"Hurry up and wait"
"Your knife is as sharp as my Mother-in-Law's tongue"
"My coat is so warm I won't be cold if I freeze to death"
ill be with you in a min ok take your time and hurry up
"If your arms were attached to your mouth, you'd have finished this job hours ago"
Quote from: BMueller on February 20, 2014, 07:23:20 AM
"If your arms were attached to your mouth, you'd have finished this job hours ago"
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D that's a new one for me the guy that's works with me that's all he does is yap all day :) :) :) thanks for the tip
"Who ever fixed this before certainly fixed it behind"
"Red sky at night
sailor's delight
red sky at morning
sailors take warning"
When someone leaves I like to tell them;
Take your time going, but hurry back.
DanG Grand-paw....ain't never heard that one. :D
We married for better or worse. smiley_love
I could not have done any better :) and she could not have done any worse. :o
"I don't know where I'm going, but I'm an hour late".
" your what hurts you?"
Maybe this was on already? New broom sweeps clean
Quote from: Raider on February 21, 2014, 06:38:00 PM
Maybe this was on already? New broom sweeps clean
We had a new Loss Preventive Manager introduce himself at a Staff Meeting a few years ago and said that while looking at our Vice President.
I remember his first name, it was Eric. He lasted a couple weeks. :D
"The new broom sweeps clean, but the old broom knows where the dirt is". ;) :D
When someone would pass my Dad at a high rate of speed, he would shake his head and say;
I'd rather get to where I'm going 10 minutes late, than get to the grave yard 10 years early.
"Charge it to dust and let the rain settle it"
Any one ever heard , feed a fever and starve a cold . I may have it backwards as well . Red
Feed a cold, starve the flu.
when my granddad and great granddad would shut off the tractor or vehicle they would always say "fed and watered". they also called under brush in the woods and field scrub brush. I never made the connection til my wife ask me what kind of brush was on the side of the road and I said it was scrub brush and she laughed at me. I have hundreds of sayings from my granddad! he was a great man!
You know about as much as Carl Gordon crow. My father would say that alot. I did ask if Carl really had a crow. I never got an answer. ;D
thanks! it was a happy birthday!
the toes you step on today may be connected to the butt you have to kiss tomorrow...
Going to see a man about a horse, A stop at the tavern....
we could have been killed...or even worse!!!
"Not worth a pinch of salt."
six of one half dozen of the other.
if something was tight, it was tighter than dicks hat band. how tight is that you ask, it was so tight it hurt his head
.....working like a cows tail in Fly season.
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on February 26, 2014, 10:17:02 PM
.....working like a cows tail in Fly season.
Yeh David, Like "tighter that a bulls ars during fly time".
never share your wife or your chainsaw. neither will come back the same as when they left.
Never monkey with another mans monky
As requested; I'm "green as a gourd" when it comes to saw milling. Another old saying.
one boy is good help, two boys is some help, three boys is no help at all.
Quote from: yukon cornelius on February 27, 2014, 09:00:22 PM
one boy is good help, two boys is some help, three boys is no help at all.
Hahaha. That made me think of my Dad.
He always said; With one boy, you get a boy's work. With two boy's, you get a half a boy's work.
one of my first bosses told me after looking at something he didn't like "I looked at with my good eye, I looked at it with my bad eye, then I looked at it with my brown eye!" as he bent over.
When something was well done, my uncle used to say, "That's slicker than a Democrat on ice skates". Wasn't til I got a little older that I figured that one out. ;) :D
my neighbor as a kid would ask me all the time "did your mother have any kids that lived?"
"shoot fire!"
shoot fire and say matches
im too poor to pay attention!
Never get in a saddle unless you are ready for the ride. :)
I have had a wild ride, or two :).
Quote from: WDH on March 05, 2014, 07:33:55 PM
I have had a wild ride, or two :).
Just tell us about the first one. :D :D :D
But you have to do something more than once to know how to do it the next time. Each time you should get better at it. ;D
Quote from: thecfarm on March 05, 2014, 09:17:17 PM
But you have to do something more than once to know how to do it. Each time you should get better at it. ;D
Sometimes it takes Foresters a little longer. :D ( old saying )
Haven't seen this one yet.
No matter where you're at....That's where you'll be :)
It will feel better when it quits hurting.
"You do poor work.......but you're slow"
My dad used to say that in Kentucky the "3 R's" were "Readin', Ritin', and Route 23"
Rode hard and put away wet
It's not very big around but it is short.
I cut the board off twice but its still too short.
I don't go crazy.......I am crazy. I just go normal......sometimes.
Do as I say, not as I do. :D
Experience is what you need right before you get it.
Smart alack response when new rules and regulations are being enforced and the people are grumbing about the changes.
"Things that change, never stay the same!"
Daylight savings time is about dumb.....like taking 5 foot off a hose pipe and put it on the other end and saying its longer.....duh....... :D :D :D
Be productive as possible today, "We have a goat load of work"
Quote from: Wick on March 07, 2014, 12:13:49 PM
Be productive as possible today, "We have a goat load of work"
I have always said "boat load" backwards again I am,
Daylight SavING Time. No "S". One of my pet peeves. :snowball:
DST is irrelevant if you actually get out of bed in the morning and work outside until at least dark. :D The cows don't care, nor do the trees.
POSTON, I heard that one a little be differently. Supposedly a Native American chief was asked about DST and said that only the government would cut a foot off the bottom of a blanket, sew it on the top and call it a longer blanket. :D
Yeah, have heard it as boat load too. Goat load is funny to me.
Work smart or work hard
Unfortunately the younger generations a taking to "work smart not hard" when it really is "work smart and hard" if you want to reach your goals.
I agree sir. My reference is about using your head for something other than a hat rack. Working smart is more efficient. Working hard is a given for some, not so much for others. Which reminds me of another one.
"You working hard or hardly working?!!"
To err is human, to forgive is divine.
To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
we aren't building a watch, it just has to run like one.
if you cant weld good weld a lot
Common sense is not a gift, but a punishment.....because you have to deal with the ones that don't have it.
Been busier than a chicken scratching mud!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Granddad used to say "If your gonna make an omelet ya gotta rob a few chickens."
When I was a kid helping my grandad on the farm he would tell me I was "slower than a kitty eatin' a grindstone". :D
easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission
A 7" angle grinder will make a better welder out of you.
My grandma always says an odd thing "See ya on the next round." I vaguely recall a story about a relative being chased around their house by an angry neighbor. And yelling to her that phrase and it stuck with her all these years.. Way funnier when she tells it..
wound up tighter than a cheap watch
those who cant do teach
when i nod my head hit it :)
You stole my thunder
then there is 'dumber than a frozen hen' and 'he's got shoulders like a brook trout'
If you're going to tell a bear story make sure there's lots of bears in it!
You can't get there from here.
Quote from: thecfarm on March 21, 2014, 08:29:35 PM
You can't get there from here.
And most people would believe you!
Quote from: Billbob on March 21, 2014, 08:25:36 PM
then there is 'dumber than a frozen hen' and 'he's got shoulders like a brook trout'
First time I've heard both of these. :)
One day when I was with a friend he spotted a rather skinny fellow across the street. My friend said to me "look at that feller there. He's got arms on him like a knot in a piece of twine". I sure had a good laugh that day!
I did not realize that brook trout had shoulders.
"He lives so far back in the woods he has to come out to hunt"
Quote from: WDH on March 21, 2014, 09:42:23 PM
I did not realize that brook trout had shoulders.
You should see one trying to get through a narrow door!
Quote from: thecfarm on March 21, 2014, 08:29:35 PM
You can't get there from here.
See 'reply #19', Ray. I beat ya to it. ;) ;D
Billbob, those are great!
Well, this thread beats all I've ever helt, felt, or smelt.
"She's so skinny she could stand under a clothes line in a rainstorm and not get wet!"
John,I can't remember back to what was posted on reply # 401. ;D
Don't sit there like a bump on a log.
Quote from: thecfarm on March 22, 2014, 08:09:34 AM
John,I can't remember back to what was posted on reply # 401. ;D
Don't sit there like a bump on a log.
You need another cup of coffee, Ray! :D
Just thought of another
'Living off the fat of the land' and 'living high on the hog'
'she could eat an apple through a picket fence'
Ok, now I need another cup of coffee! :laugh:
Quote from: Billbob on March 22, 2014, 08:23:20 AM
You need another cup of coffee, Ray! :D
I've heard this one lots of times. :D
Billbob,I took your advice and got another cup. Now I have 2 cups in front of me. :D
Poston,
Why are they calling you Ray ... ???
Quote from: isawlogs on March 22, 2014, 01:17:19 PM
Poston,
Why are they calling you Ray ... ???
Obviously, he's just a "Ray of Sunshine..."
:D :D :D :D :D
Herb
Baseball, hit it where they ain't
"He'd rather climb a tree and tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell the truth!"
"I like a liar, but I'm a little too fond of you."
Wm. Francis Collins (grand father) RIP.
Mark Twain once said....."I did not attend the funeral, but I sent a letter of approval". :D
Quote from: thecfarm on March 22, 2014, 08:44:27 AM
Billbob,I took your advice and got another cup. Now I have 2 cups in front of me. :D
Good thing you have two hands! But then again that's largely an assumption on my part!
Bill
"Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs"
My Father was great for saying,I could not run fast enough to give it away.
And the one saying that most of us have heard at some point in our lives.......
"Just wait until your father gets home!"
;D ;D
My Dad would say when he saw a dog running across the road......."he's running like he stole something".
Quote from: thecfarm on March 22, 2014, 08:09:34 AM
Don't sit there like a bump on a log.
I said that to a high school teacher once. He wasn't impressed. :D
can you run fast scared than i can mad?
I'm not sure if this is word play on an old saying, or the origin of it:
"A burro is an ass. A burrow is a hole in the ground. You should know the difference."
;D ;D
"Everything changes is the only thing that remains the same."
"The hurried'er I go, the behinder I get"
Quote from: DanG on March 23, 2014, 10:46:49 AM
I'm not sure if this is word play on an old saying, or the origin of it:
"A burro is an ass. A burrow is a hole in the ground. You should know the difference."
;D ;D
:D :D :D :D
It is bad to not know your
burrow burro.
These are a few I heard my Daddy use quite a bit.
1. He couldn't find his fanny (burro) with both hands
2. Son, if you had a brain, you would take it out and play with it
3. It is a good moon to cut hogs
won't say my ex couldn't cook, but in our house the flies went out to eat
don't get your honey where you get your money
Heard this this morning on ESPN radio of all places. Maybe someone has already said it here.
"Be slow to make promises but quick to keep them."
"If you're not part of the solution then you've got to be part of the problem!"
Quote from: soilmover on March 24, 2014, 06:41:45 AM
won't say my ex couldn't cook, but in our house the flies went out to eat
It was so bad the neighbourhood flies chipped in to fix the screen door. (Rodney Dangerfield I think)
He likes to burn the midnight oil.
She has two blue eyes.......one blew east, one blew west
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
"If you think you are a person of influence, try giving orders to someone else's dog"
Will Rogers
Another one of Pop's frequent sayings...
Everybody wants to go to Heaven but nobody wants to die.
Caveman
Not sure where it originated but per Grandpa "those that get up in the morning get up in the world".
"There is nothing more satisfying than faulting another man's horse"
thats like pulling fly crap out of pepper :)
That old man sure has raised a lot of hell in his life time....but never raised a blister.
that's funny poston! we had a guy at the firehouse we called blisters because he always showed up after the work was done
.....a Lion never loses sleep over the opinions of sheep.
Most lions do not get to see many sheep :D.
Gonna slap you so hard you wake up in the middle of next week my daddy told me that a lot
Quote from: WDH on June 20, 2014, 08:27:33 PM
Most lions do not get to see many sheep :D.
say_what Never thought of it like that. I guess thats why they don't lose any sleep. :D
"Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's rainin'."
I liked the one I heard my Grandpa used, referring to a carpenter we knew that was slow/lazy- "Yeah, he does ok work, but you have to drive stakes to see if he's moving." :D
It's better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt
being in charge is like being a lady, if you have to tell people you are, then you are not....
I can understand your anger at me......but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on? say_what
I never gave much thought to the horse before. :D
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on June 21, 2014, 09:25:08 AM
I can understand your anger at me......but what could you possibly have against the horse I rode in on? say_what
:D :D Just used the 'precursor' to that while trying to get the chain on my slabber yesterday. It's an excellent point! :D
Quote from: yukon cornelius on June 21, 2014, 08:51:19 AM
It's better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt
This came up in conversation a couple days ago and was about to post it! :D
My Grandma was full of old sayings, "older than Methuselah" is one that comes to mind.
Quote from: yukon cornelius on June 21, 2014, 08:51:19 AM
It's better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt
This saying goes back farther than you might realize ;) Proverbs 17:28 "Even a fool is considered wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive."
Quote from: barbender on June 21, 2014, 12:20:27 PM
Quote from: yukon cornelius on June 21, 2014, 08:51:19 AM
It's better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt
This saying goes back farther than you might realize ;) Proverbs 17:28 "Even a fool is considered wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive."
;D that's where I got it from ;D lots of good stuff in that book. its no wonder why they ban it from school. you wouldn't want any kids to be perversed by a book that says don't lie, steal, cheat, murder, and so on. that's a whole new topic. ;D thank you drive through!
There is no better Karate instructor than a big spider web on your face. :D
:D
I have beenthere been there.
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on September 15, 2014, 06:25:15 PM
There is no better Karate instructor than a big spider web on your face. :D
Hahaha. You must have walked into a big spider web today. :D
Made me laugh thinking that's what I must have looked like last Friday. :D
A recent study shows that Women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than Men......who mention it. :D
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on September 15, 2014, 09:47:47 PM
A recent study shows that Women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than Men......who mention it. :D
Wow! I recently had a near death experience too. :D
:D :D :D :D :D :D
thats funny stuff. heat in the winter,shade in the summer :D :D
Quote from: red oaks lumber on September 15, 2014, 10:03:30 PM
:D :D :D :D :D :D
thats funny stuff. heat in the winter,shade in the summer :D :D
I give you 3 weeks. :D :D :D
People who live in Rock Hill throw stones. :D
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on September 15, 2014, 06:25:15 PM
There is no better Karate instructor than a big spider web on your face. :D
I would have qualified for my 6th degree black belt yesterday when I walked into the horse barn!! :D :D :D
"I'm not as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was"
Never, ever pass up an opportunity to keep your mouth shut. (My Dad's favorite)
"One boy, one brain. Two boys, half a brain. Three boys, no brain at all."
POSTON,how many sons did your Dad have,3?? :D
I just could not let that one slide by. ;D
Quote from: thecfarm on October 07, 2014, 07:34:56 PM
POSTON,how many sons did your Dad have,3?? :D
I just could not let that one slide by. ;D
He had 2 kids......both Goats. ;D
By the way,most goats have kids. ;D
you have 2 ears and 1 mouth, listen twice as much as you talk.i made the mistake of telling my wife that once. thank god i'm a fast learner :D :D
It is better to remain silent, and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
thanks roxie
you should have given me that advice say, maybe 50 yrs ago :D :D
Hey, an old dog can learn new tricks ;D (Not an old saying).
Quote from: red oaks lumber on October 08, 2014, 08:03:54 PM
thanks roxie
you should have given me that advice say, maybe 50 yrs ago :D :D
Would you have taken it? :D
You are 1 tent away from a full blown Circus.
Look that up in your Funk and Wagnall!
Slicker than the devil wearin velvet britches dipped in a pool of baby oil
He's three sticks shy of a cord.
Not the brightest crayon in the box!
What you permit you promote.
when someone tells you '' you sure are smarter than you look '' you hafta laugh!!!
If you're not part of the solution, then you've got to be part of the problem!
david
you must know my inlaws :D :D
Trying to understand this is like trying to smell the color 9.
He's as sharp as a marble. ;D
In honor of the Fruitcake thread: "Nuttier than a fruitcake!"
colder than my mother in laws hug :)
"Well, that's just finer than frog's hair split four ways"
Uglier than the east end of a horse headed west
Your 3 fries short of a happy meal
you got a mouth you cant back up :D one of my dads sayings to me at least once a week working together and I miss the other things he use to call me :) :)
Yep....my Dad you to say...."Don't let your mouth write a check you can't cash!" :D :D :D
Don't let your parakeet ash over load your alligator mouth :o
I haven't read all 26 pages of this but one of my friends has a saying ...And I used it on my avatar for a while..." If your gona be dumb you gota be tough". where ever he got it....its the truth. Banjo
Yep, don't ask me how I know :D
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on October 07, 2014, 07:31:58 PM
"One boy, one brain. Two boys, half a brain. Three boys, no brain at all."
Yup! A cute one! A smart one! And a boarder line fool.
Rome was built in a day
I haven't seen him/her in a coon's age.
Why don't you set a spell
Quote from: 4x4American on December 13, 2014, 07:34:47 PM
Rome was built in a day
Not quite the way I remember it. ;)
I worked with a guy until he retired last year named Lyle. He was a spitfire, always ribbing every one but he had some good lines. He really liked to give the younger techs a hard time. Keep in mind he was only five foot tall. After some of his ribbing someone would always jokingly say something like
Tech "Don't make me come over there Lyle"
Lyle "Whats stopping ya?....I'll tell ya. Fear and common sense"
Or probably some of my favorites were after he would try to explain a process repeatedly to someone who just wasn't getting it
"I wish I could communicate it to you better, but I left my crayons at home."
and
"Let me see if I can get you to understand this with a diagram youll understand. Hey quick someone bring me some macaroni and some glue!"
Quote from: Swatson on December 13, 2014, 10:33:03 PM
I worked with a guy until he retired last year named Lyle. He was a spitfire, always ribbing every one but he had some good lines. He really liked to give the younger techs a hard time. Keep in mind he was only five foot tall. After some of his ribbing someone would always jokingly say something like
Tech "Don't make me come over there Lyle"
Lyle "Whats stopping ya?....I'll tell ya. Fear and common sense"
Or probably some of my favorites were after he would try to explain a process repeatedly to someone who just wasn't getting it
"I wish I could communicate it to you better, but I left my crayons at home."
and
"Let me see if I can get you to understand this with a diagram youll understand. Hey quick someone bring me some macaroni and some glue!"
:D
Quote from: Hilltop366 on November 22, 2013, 08:17:40 AM
Strong like ox, smart like tractor.
or strong like an ox but can't spell it.
sweatin like a fat kid at a free dance. my favorite was when my kids were teenagers. I always said "raising teenagers is like trying to nail jello to a tree"
now your using your head like a redworm :D
I was as nervous as a cat, in a room full of rocking chairs :D :D
x3 on the Rome thing. I do not know how to copy it like yall did.
To qoute a post, look in the upper righthand corner of the post and there is a "qoute" button. This will open a reply window with that post in it. Move below the qoute and add your reply.
Rome wasn't built in a day. ;)
Pull up a stump.
Thanks a bunch Dave shepard. That will help later on. Thanks again.
:D I love saying, "you know what they say, Rome was built in a day" it always stirs everyone up!
There was this one guy I worked with, he was freaking out about something along the lines where it'd fit in, and I walked past and dropped in said line, and he freaked out and screamed at the middle of his lungs (the top melted off from overheating) "ROME WAS NOT BUILT IN A DAY! UGH!" and then he stormed off in a tantrum I couldn't stop laughing.
Obviously Rome wasn't built in a day...I got it from Tommy Chong, in an episode of That 70's Show, he said, "you know what they say man, rome was built in a day, man" and i've been quoting that ever since....
If she ain't 280 she ain't a lady!
The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
An old quote from one of my favorite actors, Paul Fix.
rome wasn't built in a day cause i wasn't the contractor. is the way i always heard that one
busier than a dog in a hub cap factory
busier than a one legged man in a butt kickin contest
if i want any lip from you,i'll take one off your face
My one uncle would always say: "You should never let a fool see a job half done".
Let me see said the blind man.
One of my dad's favorites.
QuoteLet me see said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.
(as I seem to remember it). ;)
My wife when she is describing me : Big like truck, smart like truck!"
We shall
Quote from: Buckshot00 on December 22, 2014, 07:24:18 PM
Let me see said the blind man...
... to the deaf mute.
At least that was what my brother was always saying when I asked "whatcha doing?"
But I like the hammer/saw ending better!
When you are doing something with a certain, not too common tool, or something that you do not see very often, and someone says "What is that?" Some people will get smart and say, "that is an eyecatcherformedelers" ;D
Old fella I worked for in machine shop when asked what ya making Jim would answer "about two bits an hr how about you?"got a chuckle every time!
This snow is backside deep to a tall Indian.
I grew up hearin: "she's so ugly.. If she fell in the ocean, even the tide wouldn't take 'er out!" But then, most the guys in my family are "numb'r than a pounded thumb".....lol. It's a wonder I wasn't scarred for life!
:D :D :D
Good One! smiley_thumbsup
"She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!"
Quote from: LaneC on December 22, 2014, 10:19:22 PM
When you are doing something with a certain, not too common tool, or something that you do not see very often, and someone says "What is that?" Some people will get smart and say, "that is an eyecatcherformedelers" ;D
it a whatchamucalitcalledathingamagig :D
I read the whole thread to see what was there so I didn't repeat.
My dad is not a patient man when he is working. So he had a few good ones. "C'om on Grandma was slow but she was old!!"
John
Quote from: Small Slick on January 12, 2015, 10:31:37 PM
I read the whole thread to see what was there so I didn't repeat.
My dad is not a patient man when he is working. So he had a few good ones. "C'om on Grandma was slow but she was old!!"
John
:D
Slower than Molasses in January!
It's hotter than a fresh fried fox in a forest fire. :D
My grandmother used to say, "Don't have a conniption." I hadn't heard that expression since she passed away in the late 1980's until last week when an Amish woman was describing how her husband would react to her not getting home on time. Her exact words, "He'll be throwing a conniption fit." :D
I've heard that 2......but forgot about it. FUNNY! :D
Never knew what a conniption was. ???
I never knew how to spell it either. ;D
I Googled conniption (http://www.wisegeek.org/what-is-a-conniption-fit.htm) and was quite amused.
Thanks Roxie. That word brought back many memories. :)
I haven't heard that one in a long time, either. I've been on the verge of a conniption a time or two. :D
Quote from: Dave Shepard on January 13, 2015, 03:03:25 PM
I haven't heard that one in a long time, either. I've been on the verge of a conniption a time or two. :D
Verge is a good word and how many folks know that it's origin is from a clock part? ;D
....a CONNIPTION on a VERGE...... :D :D :D :D
So slow he collects dust................
She's so ugly you could tie a stick around her neck and still not get a dog to play with her.
I was just trying to think of some of the ones my grandpa "pap" uses. The ones that stick out are "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." and "You're either gunna have to get tougher or smarter son." A friend of mine always used to say "if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas"
Quote from: hackberry jake on January 13, 2015, 10:28:21 PM
"if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas"
Good 1 Hack..... :D :D :D :D :D :D
Finer than a frog hair
Quote from: LaneC on January 13, 2015, 11:35:13 PM
Finer than a frog hair
finer than frog hair split four ways.
So ugly, she'd cause a freight train to take a dirt road!
Quote from: Chuck White on January 14, 2015, 11:33:37 AM
So ugly, she'd cause a freight train to take a dirt road!
:D :D :D :D
Had an uncle who'd tell his slow son, "one of these days I'm gonna trade you for a horse, then shoot the horse..."
Granny used to say "if cow [I have typed a profane word that is automatically changed by the forum censored words program I should know better] were peaches we'd all be rich"....any time we'd wish we had something different.....
A fella I've heard of was so cheap, he has a drawer built into his kitchen table. Any relatives come over during supper, he's slide his plate and place setting in there, so the visitors wouldn't know he was eating and want to stay and have some..... I guess he was as tight as the bark on a tree in February.....
There are "old sayings... " and then there are "old cruel sayings" .... I don't like the cruel ones.
Would take a cruel person to tell someone some of these that have been posted. IMO just sayin....
Keep it clean boys. ;D
Slicker than deer guts on a door knob.
So cheap he could live on a cracker a day and fatten a hog on the slop.
If you ain't the lead dog the view never changes.
Someone was beat with an ugly stick.
If at first you don't succeed, so much for sky-diving.
She'd skin a flea for his tallow.
River sure is low - nope, I've seen it so low all the catfish had ticks and fleas (or We had half-grown bluegills that didn't know how to swim).
Oh-dark thirty.
Tom Selleck in an old western when surrounded by 25 armed opponents and asked by their leader "You think you can kill us all" and Tom replied "He's first, you're next. Do you really care after that?" (Of course that backed them down.)
smiley_lipsrsealed
she is so ugly she looks like modern art ;D
As much good as a glass eye in the fog. Or a joke book at a funeral.
Couple heard before "dont get into a battle of wits with an unarmed man"the other one" got a lot on his mind too bad its vacant" I know I said a couple but remembered "cheap? They invented copper wire fighting over a penny"
Mom used to tell me "you don't have to if you want to"
"He took off like a jet out of a bologna patch"
My momma told me just the other day that when I was a kid I was so ugly they had to hang a porkchop around my neck to get the dog to play with me :embarassed:
Quote from: 4x4American on January 16, 2015, 06:26:38 PM
My momma told me just the other day that when I was a kid I was so ugly they had to hang a porkchop around my neck to get the dog to play with me :embarassed:
:D never heard that one
He could eat corn through a picket fence :o
(buck teeth)
Quote from: coxy on January 16, 2015, 06:50:56 PM
Quote from: 4x4American on January 16, 2015, 06:26:38 PM
My momma told me just the other day that when I was a kid I was so ugly they had to hang a porkchop around my neck to get the dog to play with me :embarassed:
:D never heard that one
Thy would feed him with a sling shot
Ya, momma still tells me that, I don't get nervous until the mastiff wants to play though ;D.
"He criticizes everything. If they hung him he would complain they didn't use enough rope!"
he's tighter than 2 coats of paint or tighter than bark on a tree
your wound up tighter than cheap watch.
When I die I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my Uncle Will - not yelling and screaming like the other 5 people in the car he was driving at the time.
:D :D :D
Ouch !!!
I never lose.....either I win or I learn. smiley_carpenter_hit_thumb
That tractor of yours don't have enough power to pull a setting
hen off her nest.
To those to whom it applies: Just a reminder folks, this is an old sayings thread, not gross sayings. Let's clean it up.
Or the one I catch myself saying often "It is what it is."
You can't fly with the eagles all day if you hoot with the owls all night.
The last two posts had to be removed. That brings the count to 15 posts that have been removed from this thread. Some old sayings should stay in the past. It was a whole different era. Disguising words using dollar signs for an S doesn't make it more acceptable.
Quote from: WV Sawmiller on January 19, 2015, 12:08:33 AM
You can't fly with the eagles all day if you hoot with the owls all night.
Also, "It's hard to soar with the eagles when you work with a bunch of turkeys"!
Ain't that the truth!
" Strike while the iron is hot ".
Quote from: MrPete on January 18, 2015, 10:49:14 AM
Or the one I catch myself saying often "It is what it is."
Or "That's just the way she goes"
Hopefully everyone knows this is meant to be funny and not serious. If you eat something and it is good, or if you like something a lot, sometimes people say "oooo weeee, that will make you slap your Grandma!" :D :D :D
Years ago, when I used to coach football, the head coach was a little round man. One time, when he was evidently hungry, he mentioned that his backbone was rubbing a blister on his belly button.
Good 1 Caveman! :D
"month of Sundays"
Example;
It'll take me a month of Sundays to split all that firewood.
Guy at work today said he grew up with, from his mom " TAKE A SHOWER you smell like a goat!! :)
That ain't funny HOLMES! :D :D :D
Quote from: Holmes on January 19, 2015, 10:50:50 PM
Guy at work today said he grew up with, from his mom " TAKE A SHOWER you smell like a goat!! :)
Haw Haw Haw!!! ;D ;D ;D
:D :D :D I wondered how long before POSTON would show up.
Old saying like that make me wanna fly off the handle! bat_smailey
Talking about my smell? What chu trying to say Willies? I stink? :D :D :D :D :D
If ya want to go downhill fast I'm your man ... When building a sled
Red Green.
Quote from: hackberry jake on January 19, 2015, 10:44:55 PM
"month of Sundays"
Example;
It'll take me a month of Sundays to split all that firewood.
That's a good one that I haven't heard in a coons age!
WM Fritz,
I used to tell my son back when we had goats and when we had real bad weather I'd move our goats into his room except for the smell then I'd tell him, "Oh well, they'll get used to it after a while."
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." -T.Edison
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
My mechanic told me "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your Horn louder"
If us kids got too rowdy in the house Dad would tell us "Get outside and get the stink blown off ya"
That was my Grandmother's favorite expression, Sprucegum. One day she yelled that at my sister and me, and my sister in complete sincerity, lifted her arm and sniffed her armpit area and said to me, "I must have a Presbyterian under my arm."
Only thing wrong with that truck is the NUT behind the steering wheel
My grandmother used to tell rowdy children to "go outside until I get time to shoot you!"
Quote from: DeerMeadowFarm on January 20, 2015, 10:22:45 AM
My mechanic told me "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your Horn louder"
:D :D :D
You can't squeeze blood from a turnip.
As rare as hens teeth.
Pertaining to be the wiser, "The old coon walks last" The old coons will let the young coons walk across a log etc. If they make it, then the old coon will go ahead and cross.
Not sure if it's been posted yet but it pertains directly to me, "dumb as a box of rocks" ;D
Referring to something that tastes good:
Make your tongue slap your eyeballs out!
The early bird gets the worm (but the second mouse gets the cheese)
Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
(proberly already been said)
rode hard and put up wet
Not exactly true to letter but maybe spirit of this topic - I worked in Central Africa (Cameroon & Guinea) where they used bush taxis (15 passenger vans with 40-50 people inside and goats and chickens and bananas on top and in Haiti where the most common transport was a Tap-Tap (small pickup with benches in back and a camper shell or inverted bed liner on extensions for rain cover and passenger tapped side to stop where he wanted to get off) and we would always ask
"How many people can you get on a bush taxi/Tap-Tap?" Answer - 1 more.
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Just had to get a Goat on that Taxi didn't ya? :D :D :D
The Goat was for BBQ when on extended travel.
Or maybe for trading if they ran into a troll demanding a toll. ;D
Quote from: Mooseherder on January 22, 2015, 04:03:14 AM
The Goat was for BBQ when on extended travel.
Or maybe for trading if they ran into a troll demanding a toll. ;D
:)
I'm glad your a good sport. ;)
Common sense is so rare these days that it should be classified as a Super Power.
Can I hear an Amen? :D
amen brotha goat amen :D :D
Common sense. Amen. You pray that your employees have it and they act like they are God's gift if they show you a glimmer of it.
John
I will give pigman an Amen for his quote. :D :D
"He's got the world by the tail with a downhill shove"
An older guy I knew as a kid would always say, "all you have is the fun along the way"
A watched pot never boils.
I'd only ever heard this one once, "If wisdom was wealth, he's the wealthiest man I know".
Its raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock.
Grass never grows under his feet.
One boy is like a hired man, two boys a half a boy, three boys, no boys at all,
my father in law would always say that one.
Beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes all the way to the bone.
Boys and their toys, referring to men and their equipment.
The only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys, my grandma always used that one.
There was one my grandma also used a lot and I can't recall exactly how it goes, but something that referred to "he's so good a farmer, he can grow weeds and turn them into gold, but that's not quite right, been 30 years since I heard her say it, anyone know how it goes for sure?
He's as strong as an ox.
My grandpa would often say, "the older I get the better I was"
Not worth a pinch of salt
So thin they tied a knot in his tail to keep him from falling through the crack in the seat.
He's so thin, they xrayed him with a light bulb.
Thin as a rail, referring to skinny market hogs.
He eats like a mouse, referring to eating nothing. He drinks like a fish, referring to alcohol consumption
He smokes like a factory or he smokes like a stove pipe.
My daughter has always said, "go ahead smoke that cancer stick, but do it when I'm not around" referring to cigarettes. Or "die of lung cancer on your own time" is what one person I've worked for had said to some that smoked while working.
Be as quiet as a church mouse
He's dead on his feet, referring to being overly tired
Those are a few I'll think of more, my grandparents used them all the time, took me years to figure out what some of them meant.
I have the body of an Athlete.....
The joints of a 90 year old.......
and the bank account of a Crack addict.
Thanks Horses. :D :D :D
:D :D :D :D :D :D I can't wait to show that one to my wife!
I eat and train just like a world class athletes. Unfortunately it's Sumo Wrestlers!
The older I get, the better I was.
I doubt it's an old saying but a good one none the less. My grandma who is 94 told me this a few years ago. "You be good and if your not going to be good then be careful." "If your not careful, don't name it after me." It took a minute for me to realize what she just said. Great lady!!
John
:D :D took me a minute too!
Don't whizz on my leg and tell me it's rainin!
Quote from: Small Slick on January 25, 2015, 09:59:22 PM
"You be good and if your not going to be good then be careful."
John
That one slipped my mind...just like it slipped my mind every time my mother said it to me ::) :D
Saw it again by some on this forum but good one:
Old age and treachery will overcome youth and vigor every time.
(Story with it when I first read this was old farmer caught a bunch of young college co-eds skinny dipping in his pond. They swam to the far side away from their clothes but said they would not come out till he left and called him a dirty old man for spying on them. He told them he was not spying, he came down every day about this time to feed the alligator.)
:D :D :D :D :D :D
Old or new, I have never heard it.
I have a State Trooper that helps me on his days off. He told me a story about the "boyfriend" his daughter brought home one evening.
He was talking about the kind of teenager that puts the rings in his ears to make big holes, pierced chin and tongue with metal balls showing, wires running through his nose, hooks in his scalp and eye brows........
My helper described him as SOMEONE WHO HAD FELL FACE FIRST INTO A TACKLE BOX! :D :D :D :D :D
Thats when I had to just turn the mill off.....I was rolling!
This young man no longer dates this Trooper's daughter. :D
We had them show up at work with all the rings and such. I told one of them I could use him for a cantdog. There was a couple there that understood what I meant.
Poston
I've used that line a lot the last few years. Get some interesting looks when they hear it... be it a he or a she.
I had never heard it until now....still laughing! :D :D :D :D :D
this may have been posted before. a friend reminded me of an old saying i had not heard in years. speaking about someone born into a wealthy family you would say he or she was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.
One of our co-pilots i get paired with every so often ,, i'll ask him how hes doing when we show up at the plane and his response is always the same......"better than i deserve to be". Always maes me chuckle even though i know its coming!
Since you brought up planes how about "any landing you can walk away from was a good one".
Or the related "it's not the fall that kills you. It's the landing."
Putty and paint make it what it ain't.
When my mother figured something I was doing was wrong or unfruitfull she said" you know Terry you dont have to ride the garbage truck all the way to the dump" my wife has said to me"you know what? your a waste of good air" hard to comeback on that one.
These were ones I heard over the years. Sorry if any of these are duplicates but 32 pages is a lot to read.
On someone who conjectures endlessly - If "if" was a skiff we'd all go for a row in the lake.
On someone who debates the topic alot - If "if's" and "buts" were gifts and nuts we'd have Christmas every day.
On someone longwinded - He could talk Christ off the cross.
On someone miserly - He'd squeeze a penny til Abe cried mercy.
On dumb mistakes - A fool gets burned twice by the same candle.
On the summer heat - Hot as a rat in a wool sock. Or, Too hot for fish to swim.
On someone who takes a long time to run an errand - He went to use the outhouse and the hogs ate him.
On someone's exaggeration - Well don't let the truth get in the way of a good story!
On getting your words mixed up - My tongue got wrapped around my eye teeth and I couldn't see what I was saying.
On tempting fate - Speak of the devil and the devil appears. (I think that's actually scripture.)
General bragging - I'm so far ahead of you I'm delivering tomorrow's news.
On chronic liars - He'd walk 10 miles to climb a tree and tell a lie!
On someone taking credit for something - A broken clock is right twice a day/Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn on occasion
On the perils of being greedy - Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered
There's more, I'll have to remember them.
A similar note on truth
why climb a tree to tell a lie , when you can stand on the ground and tell the truth.
It would make a buzzard puke.
"That gets my goat."
Trying to start something? :D
Quote from: Alcranb on January 31, 2015, 12:59:27 PM
Putty and paint make it what it ain't.
Or the related, "Beat to fit, paint to match"
landscaper also reminded me of one which someone may have already mentioned, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!"
My inlaws have been in Arizona since the first of the year and their fridge/freezer died sometime in there :-\. I got it out of the house last night and believe me there were smells that would "gag a maggot" in there. My step daughter and her boy friend actually found it and had everything cleaned out but I had to take the doors off of it to fit it through the house doors steve_smiley
Quote from: sandhills on February 10, 2015, 10:16:27 AM
My inlaws have been in Arizona since the first of the year and their fridge/freezer died sometime in there :-\. I got it out of the house last night and believe me there were smells that would "gag a maggot" in there. My step daughter and her boy friend actually found it and had everything cleaned out but I had to take the doors off of it to fit it through the house doors steve_smiley
And the "old saying" is "Smell is bad enough to gag a maggot in a gut wagon" ??
Tougher then a ten dollar steak.. Or as worthless as a rubber beak on a woodpecker. dadgum you, Charlie!
QuoteOr as worthless as a rubber beak on a woodpecker.
Especially a blue one. :(
:D :D :D
"It is what it is." Actually I'm not sure that is an old saying. But it is getting old.
Life is so much simpler when you plow around the stump.
What you do last.....is what people see first.
where you are is where your at
I get asked a lot, (when is the best time to go fishing?) saying I give in return is (as often as you can!) another was one of my moms favorites (no good deed goes unpunished) and (familiarity breeds contempt)
A bad day fishing (hunting) is better than a good day at work.
If you can't run with the big dogs stay off the porch.
I feel so much better since I abandoned all hope.
Happier than a pig in a mud puddle.
The only time I ever made a mistake was the one time when I thought I was wrong.
When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.
If it cost 5 cents to get around the world I couldn't get across the street
How about, depression is just anger without the enthusiasm.
feeling finer than frog hair :)
split four ways
Bloom where you're planted.
sometimes the apple don't fall from the tree
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
Quote from: WV Sawmiller on March 08, 2015, 08:12:55 PM
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
:D :D :D
Quote from: WV Sawmiller on March 08, 2015, 08:12:55 PM
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
My old man says that alot!
or would it be asks that?
We'll be there, Lord willing and the creeks don't rise.
In regards to the current "afraid of heights thread", Gotta work on that landing.
One I hear more all the time is "your doing it old school"to which I reply lucky to be doing it at all!
my dad use to tell me a lot I was doing things bass ackwards :D :D my uncles favorite saying was you poor fool I shur miss the things they both use to say and say to me :( :(
USMC - Wasn't like that in the Old Corps.
(All USMC will understand that one.)
Story I heard was Samuel Nicholas was hired to recruit 2 Battalions of Marines in late 1776. He immediately set up shop in Tun Tavern where he expected recruiting would be good. In short order he recruited first Marine. Told the new recruit he would have to provide his own musket and bedroll to which the young man agreed (before he sobered up). After that recruiting slowed down and Sam was having trouble enticing anyone else to join and was getting pressure to meet his quota so he broke down and offered the next candidate a USMC provided musket and bedroll as a recruiting incentive. The young man accepted (The judge had already told him it was USMC or jail as an additional incentive). Later that evening the two Marines were talking at the bar. Second Marine told first Marine about his deal and the first Marine just shook his head and said "Wasn't like that in the Old Corps." The saying has been around ever since.
1776 or 1775?
Dave,
I stand corrected. November 10, 1775 is the correct date. Had an old CO who served with Chesty Puller at Chosin Reservoir. Had a plaque with a medieval Pike and sword and saying below was "If your 782 gear doesn't look like this don't talk to me about the Old Corps."
Thanks for helping keep the records correct.
you can't get to second base without leaving first
He's got them summer teeth...
some are here, some are there...
Heres a list I found. Some of these have been posted, some not but they're all good.
Advices from An Old Farmer
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered... not yelled.
Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
Don't judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life... Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
Don 't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around..
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.
Most times, it just gets down to common sense.
Thanks David. ;D
Had a lazy guy out our way.
how lazy was he?
He married a pregnant woman.
That guy is so dum he should not multiple.
Words of wisdom from Hackberry Jake.
"Friends don't let friends cut pecan". (New old saying).
Quote from: WDH on March 20, 2015, 09:49:38 PM
Words of wisdom from Hackberry Jake.
"Friends don't let friends cut pecan". (New old saying).
:D :D :D
"still wet behind the ears" :)
soft as a lamb's armpit
The more I learn the more I realize how little I know
Before walking in another man's shoes be sure take off your own first
You drop a spark plug twice: once on the ground, and once in the garbage.
:D Have an old radiator guy here that always said that's how you gap them, just measure the drop to the ground in inches :D.
Reading through Postons list above, you know, there's some good wisdom in some of those sayings.
Here's one that's been around us pastoral councillors a lot: "hurt people...hurt people". And it's so true.
My best friend ran off with my wife - I sure do miss him.
"Could break an anvil and lose the pieces".
Up the creek without a paddle.
If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose!
if i had your money i'd burn mine
An apple a day will keep anyone away, if you throw it hard enough ;D
We had a feller who would say If he found something unique.
Handyer than pockets in underwear.
My brother used to always say
"It's on like a pot of neck bones"
I'm not sure if he made that up or what.
Can't fix stupid.
JJ , who are you calling stupid?
I'm pretty sure no one, just an old saying "you can't fix stupid" ;). Which brings to mind another for me from "Forest Gump, Momma always said stupid is as stupid does", ya that one pretty much defines me :D.
Maybe I stuck my foot in my mouth, I guess that's an old saying also.
Watched 'Barnwood Builders' the other night, never seen it before. One of the guys on the show said "Tougher than two yellow toe nails". Cracked me up for some reason. :D
that is funny :D :D :D I must have a simple mind or none at all 8) 8)
Instint attention like a good back slap on a fresh sunburn.
Welcome to the Forestry Forum, BrianJ.
Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway. John Wayne.
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on May 08, 2015, 10:44:03 PM
Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway. John Wayne.
David, is that from 'The Cowboys'?
I think so....I was reading some bio on ol JW and saw this. Pretty good. :)
(From a bald friend): Grass don't grow on a busy street
Grass don't grow on bad ground (other adjectives used too describe ground)
He'did tear up a stainless steel ball!
Only correct practice makes perfect.
Regarding someone with bad character.
Lower than a snakes belly in a wagon wheel rut.
Here is an interesting list of old sayings...
http://www.industrialfolk.com/the-blacksmith/
Blacksmiths have it made. ;D
" there's a Mutt and Jeff"
If IQ was octane he couldn't run a lawnmower
It ain't over until the fat lady sings.
No fiddle-fartin' around!
The fit is like a hotdog in a hallway.
Good lord, love a duck!
Jeesum' crow is popular around here
Heard this one this weekend
"If you listen by the inch, and talk by the yard, you will get kicked by the foot" :D
The tongue is longer then the arm.
The pen is mightier than the sword.
welcome to the father, son and holy ghost, whoever eats the fastest gets the most.
gww
PS not bad manners, just good food.
Once in a blue moon - an expression to describe a rare event. A blue moon occurs when there are two full moons in a month. The month's second full moon is then called a blue moon. Our current month of July, has two full moons, one on the 1st and another on the 31st. There will be a blue moon shining down on the pig roast this year. :)
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
Common one I useon the boat when redoing other people's work....
"If they didn't do any work I'd only have half the work"
Quote from: Roxie on July 19, 2015, 11:24:03 AM
Once in a blue moon - an expression to describe a rare event. A blue moon occurs when there are two full moons in a month. The month's second full moon is then called a blue moon. Our current month of July, has two full moons, one on the 1st and another on the 31st. There will be a blue moon shining down on the pig roast this year. :)
I showed my wife a blue moon once. then she realized it was the tinted windshield ;D
Not really an old saying, but, have you ever wondered why everybody behind you is in a hurry, and nobody in front of you ever is !
Quote from: Pine Ridge on August 04, 2015, 10:20:44 PM
Not really an old saying, but, have you ever wondered why everybody behind you is in a hurry, and nobody in front of you ever is !
Nobody drives perfect but me ;D
Sandhills how did you read my mind !
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours............jut be careful who you say it to!
I believe that is said by politicians. :-\
Can't get out of bed to save my life.
My old saying of late. Been sleeping through two alarms lately.
gww
I've had a similar problem...can't hear the alarms anymore! Course when ya go to sleep so dead tired it's hard to wake up!
On decision making.....Mama always said, "When in doubt, don't". It applies to just about anything!
Buying used cars,
Hot air balloon ride on a hot day,
Relationships, should I, or shouldn't I...Just to name a few! Mama was wise! I should have listened to her more!
Quote from: Martha White Nelson on August 19, 2015, 10:03:49 AM
On decision making.....Mama always said, "When in doubt, don't". It applies to just about anything!
Buying used cars,
Hot air balloon ride on a hot day,
Relationships, should I, or shouldn't I...Just to name a few! Mama was wise! I should have listened to her more!
Mama never had a Goat did she? :D :D :D :D :D :D
Before walking in another man's shoes, first remove yours.......
....I mean that guy had had so much to drink, I saw him holding a Snake and trying to kill a Stick. :D :D :D
I believe what Magicman is referring to when he said "Blacksmiths have it made" is the old saying
"There's only two ways a blacksmith can go to hell, beat cold iron or not charging enough" ;D And yes Magic we do. 8)
The ground is so bad you could not raise hell on it with a gallon of moonshine
"While we teach our children all about life, they teach us what life is all about."
You can't get there from here.
I was reminded recently of a variation on an old saying by a friend of mine in high school: "When the going gets tough ... it's tough to get going."
Lot of truth in that ...
Quote from: SawyerBrown on December 09, 2015, 07:52:33 PM
I was reminded recently of a variation on an old saying by a friend of mine in high school: "When the going gets tough ... it's tough to get going."
Lot of truth in that ...
Good 1
My get up and go, got up and went. :-\
Quote from: Magicman on December 09, 2015, 09:56:04 PM
My get up and go, got up and went. :-\
Eat some more fruitcake.
Quote from: WDH on December 10, 2015, 08:25:53 PM
Quote from: Magicman on December 09, 2015, 09:56:04 PM
My get up and go, got up and went. :-\
Eat some more fruitcake.
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
My mother used to say if wishes were horses we all would ride .
This summer while cutting logs for the cabin, or dog was carrying on being goofy, my father in law commented. Oh to have a dogs life. Then his grandson says l dont know if that is a good wish, you would have to lick your butt. Lol
:D :D :D I already like him!
"pulling chicken teeth."
"He is as useful as a football bat."
Ok, heard a new one on tv the other night "madder than a mosquito in a mannequin factory" not sure why but I love it ;D.
He's about as dependable as a rubber crutch! ;D
Quote from: sandhills on December 15, 2015, 09:19:47 PM
Ok, heard a new one on tv the other night "madder than a mosquito in a mannequin factory" not sure why but I love it ;D.
:D :D
cant remember if i already listed this one but "using your head like a red worm" when someone has a good idea is one of my favorite :D
Busy as a chicken scratching mud!
I like that one Chuck
As happy as a three legged dog in a fire hydrant factory.
I haven't heard that one since moby dick was a minnow.
Cheers
gww
I worked at a place where we often dealt with people who "weren't all there". Coworkers would say, "she's nuttier than squirrel turds", or "he needs to be shipped off to the factory to get re-threaded." My grandpa would point to my grandma and say,"she may be little, but she's mighty!"
Successful people have a sense of gratitude.
Unsuccessful people have a sense of entitlement.
:new_year: :new_year: you got to learn to hoe your own row we will have a :new_year: if the creek dont rise any body know what creek that was
When it relates to gossipers and busy bodies, there's a famous quote from my region & culture:
"The same dog that will bring a bone, will also tote a bone!"
"Watch them dogs!" :-X
my dad used to tell me those that dont work dont eat and he was very serious :o
Quoteany body know what creek that was
The Creek Indians... uprising
Lord willing and the Creek don't rise. (old saying) and believe a song using that line in the lyrics.
Quote from: Polly on December 30, 2015, 08:14:30 PM
my dad used to tell me those that dont work dont eat and he was very serious :o
Dad spoke that one as well. I was strongly corrected when as we were gathering around the supper table he quietly removed my plate and just left my spot empty. Everyone at the table understood and no one including me said anything. My motivation was renewed for the next day!!
Talking about hired help: "He's worthless as breasts on a boar".
I need that like a hog needs a wristwatch!
Not sure where to put this, so I'm posting here. If it needs to be somewhere else, Admins please move as you see fit. Nothing obscene or political here but I think some readers might consider this about "old" people (thus under old sayings):
People born in the 40's have lived
in eight decades,
two centuries
and two millenniums
We had the best music,
the fastest cars, root beer malts,
drive-in theaters, and happy days!
That guy's cheese done slid off his cracker yes he is that goofy
LMBO Goose!
Some people talk because they have something to say,
Others talk until they have something to say.
Quote from: Go-fer-wood on January 04, 2016, 09:05:25 PM
Some people talk because they have something to say,
Others talk until they have something to say.
:D
Duct tape will not fix stupid but it can sure muffle the sound.
When did , We the people , become , Screw the people ?
Quote from: goose63 on December 31, 2015, 06:31:42 AM
That guy's cheese done slid off his cracker yes he is that goofy
One of my favorites, I use it often and no, I don't pay royalties. :D
"Life is hard. Its harder if you're stupid"
John Wayne
That guy is so short he the only person I've seen where you can see his feet on his
Drivers License. :D
Heard this from a logger today.
You are so short you have to stand on a ladder to comb your hair.
You can walk under a snake with out ducking.
Cheers
gww
Ugly as a mud fence
alright, alright, let's get this back on the upswing :D
"finer than frogs hair" might have already been mentioned?
So sharp it could split a frogs hair.
So fat he has to look at his feet to see if he's standing up or laying down.
Quote from: sandhills on January 10, 2016, 09:23:51 PM
alright, alright, let's get this back on the upswing :D
"finer than frogs hair" might have already been mentioned?
split four ways
We interrupt this thread to clarify a few forum rules.
If you have to substitute the letters in a word with punctuation marks, the use of that insinuation is not permitted.
Let's keep it clean folks. There are plenty of places to find crude, tasteless comments on the internet. The Forestry Forum isn't one of them.
Thanks for understanding.
Here are a few of my favorites
"If you never do what other men call foolish, you'll only know what foolish men know"
"Perfection is the enemy of good" - this one gets me when I try to improve something that is workable and then ruin it by trying to make it better and then wasting time fixing it.
Regarding income tax preparation, a old accountant told me long ago, "pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered"
"You catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar", my favorite boss told me this regarding dealing with a difficult customer.
"Always take the high road"
There is a german saying that I like regarding people that make "much ado about nothing" or blows things out of proportion, goes something like "he's one that drills very small holes in very thin wood"
"Good better best, never let it rest, until the good is better and the better's best"
"A rolling stone gathers no moss"
"A bird in hand is worth two in the bush"
I like those, and welcome to the forum Peterpaul. 8)
Quote from: peterpaul on January 12, 2016, 07:46:16 AM
Here are a few of my favorites
"If you never do what other men call foolish, you'll only know what foolish men know"
"Perfection is the enemy of good" - this one gets me when I try to improve something that is workable and then ruin it by trying to make it better and then wasting time fixing it.
Regarding income tax preparation, a old accountant told me long ago, "pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered"
"You catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar", my favorite boss told me this regarding dealing with a difficult customer.
"Always take the high road"
There is a german saying that I like regarding people that make "much ado about nothing" or blows things out of proportion, goes something like "he's one that drills very small holes in very thin wood"
"Good better best, never let it rest, until the good is better and the better's best"
"A rolling stone gathers no moss"
"A bird in hand is worth two in the bush"
Welcome to the Forum! You are officially the Forumite closest to me.
thought this was funny my boots are as worth less as tire chains on a bull dozer ;D
Quote from: Roxie on January 12, 2016, 07:58:48 AM
I like those, and welcome to the forum Peterpaul. 8)
Thanks, I have been lurking around awhile and really like the knowledge base as well as the mutual respect of the members.
Here's another one, "It is not what I think I am, nor what you think I am but what I think you think I am"
Quote from: Dave Shepard on January 12, 2016, 08:12:13 AM
Welcome to the Forum! You are officially the Forumite closest to me.
Thanks, I have followed you posts for some time, I'm impressed by your knowledge and craftsmanship, to say the least .
Best regards,
Peter
When some people tell you Howdy, they've told you all they know. :)
The old saying about the guy that could tell some whoppers, old timers sayed they were so windy they could blow up a onion sack. and i seen it today on the forestry forum. im not saying where :D
Good looks are just a light switch away. smiley_lit_bulb (old saying )
(https://forestryforum.com/gallery/albums/userpics/24625/GOAT1_copy.jpg)
i've heard of lipstick on a pig but a goat ??? :D :D :D
Keep the pot facing up incase of a downpore of porage.
A burnt child is scared of fire.
One of many in a bee keeping book writen in 1908.
Cheers
gww
One I've heard all my life, He's not smart enough to pour water out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel.
Anytime my grandmother was about share her philosophies she'd start by saying "now as a rule". Two that stuck with me...
"now as a rule, when a woman is riding next to a man in a truck they ain't married", and "now as a rule, painters and printers are drunks".
"The road of life is paved with flat
squirrels who couldn't make up their minds."
:D :D :D :D
Now thats a good one , Postonlt40hd :D
I haven't followed this entire thread so this one may have been said before. There was a guy where I used to work years ago who said of another guy who worked with us...
"Ole' Tom would rather climb a tree and tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell the truth..."
Quote from: grweldon on February 04, 2016, 08:45:18 AM
I haven't followed this entire thread so this one may have been said before. There was a guy where I used to work years ago who said of another guy who worked with us...
"Ole' Tom would rather climb a tree and tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell the truth..."
I always say "he'd rather climb a light pole and stand on his head and tell a lie that stand flat footed on the ground and tell the truth"
If common sense was lard, he wouldn't have enough to grease a pan
If ifs and buts were candies and nuts, we all have a merry Christmas.
My dad always told us boys growing up that "we'd tear the balls off a brass monkey"
I could go on...but I'll save them for another day.
If his brain was gold he wouldn't have enuff [enough] to buy a hamburger.
Again, may have been said before...
If wishes were horses then beggars would ride...
Here are a few more...Dumb as a box of rocks!
Dumb as a fence post!
Clumsy person...Like a bull in a china closet!
If in doubt, don't. From my Mama. Good advice that I should have taken!
Hard headed person...He'd rather argue with a fence post!
She/he drives like a bat outa ...you know, it's very hot.
It's deader than a doornail!...Bad battery.
Well, I swanee, and, bless your heart!...A Southern thing!
QuoteWell, I swanee
I never ever thought that I would see that one. :)
Isn't it "suwanee", and from google appears to mean southern for "I swear" or similar ??
My mom always said( i swanee to my goodness) guess it was a oldtime word.
i had a great aunt that said it alot but when she said it it was "well i'll swaneeeee" :D :D :D
Obviously beenthere had never heard the expression or he would not have had to Google it, and even then he found the wrong spelling. :D
A yankee greeting:
Hows da sap runnin eh?
Different regions say it different
ex:
How runs da sap?
Sap runnin is it?
Quote from: Magicman on February 06, 2016, 05:48:06 PM
Obviously beenthere had never heard the expression or he would not have had to Google it, and even then he found the wrong spelling. :D
:D
Quote from: Magicman on February 06, 2016, 05:48:06 PM
Obviously beenthere had never heard the expression or he would not have had to Google it, and even then he found the wrong spelling. :D
No, that was the spelling I found when googled... and there are three apparently accepted spellings.
I'd heard it before, but wasn't sure of the spelling.. but for some who spell as it sounds... anything goes. :D :D :D
Actually today is the first time that I have ever seen the word written. Heck, I didn't even know that it was a word, but I have heard it used many times mostly by the women folks. Men seemed to use the real words. :o
im like mm i had never seen written and the women were the only ones i heard say it :)
The other day I walked out to the garage to get something. Once in the garage, I completely forgot what I was after. I said out loud "Of all the things I miss, I miss my mind the most."
Black......
Does that mean you are a couple of cards short of a full deck? Or maby the rungs don't go all the way to the top of the ladder? It's all in good fun. If these sayings won't fit you, I am sure they do me. I would forget my head if it wasn't attached.
Cheers
gww
Here in Eastern NC when somebody says something that is hard to believe, you will almost always hear a response of "To be sure not!"
For example: "Did you know that I cut a tree down on my wife's truck?"
Response: "To be sure not!"
To be sure I have not heard that one. smiley_dizzy :D
Quote from: gww on February 07, 2016, 01:46:35 PM
Black......
Does that mean you are a couple of cards short of a full deck? Or maby the rungs don't go all the way to the top of the ladder? It's all in good fun. If these sayings won't fit you, I am sure they do me. I would forget my head if it wasn't attached.
Cheers
gww
I'm contemplating hiding my own Easter eggs this year!
Quote from: blackfoot griz on February 07, 2016, 10:36:34 AM
The other day I walked out to the garage to get something. Once in the garage, I completely forgot what I was after. I said out loud "Of all the things I miss, I miss my mind the most."
There's actually a scientific term for that....it's called the "doorway effect".
Seriously, google it!
When I turned about 45, I was in for a physical and was joking with my doctor about getting more forgetful as the years go by-namely my short term memory. He told not to worry too much about it as it happens to all of us to some degree, and to also research it, as there are things we can do to improve our memories.
I don't know that my memory is getting better or worse, but it's sorta comforting knowing that we're all in this together!
Kinda same idea as the doctor asking the 90 year old man if he believed in the hereafter. Oh yea,I believe,he said. I do it all the time. I go into another room and say,what I am here after? :D
My Dad used to say he had Polish amnesia ,forget everything but the grudges :D. He was 100% Polish. My Mother would say something in Finnish & never knew what, cause I wasn't taught it. But I figure it was a good one cause when the Finn relatives were over they'd chuckle. 8)
In honor of Payton "I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was", and a good defense doesn't hurt.
That guy's so short he plays handball against the curb.
Quote from: SawyerBrown on February 10, 2016, 07:21:12 PM
That guy's so short he plays handball against the curb.
:D
I didn't read all 41 pages so forgive me if some of these are duplicates but these are ones that have stuck with me.
"That's my boy. Strong as and ox and every bit as smart."
My granddad would say about trying to burn green elm, "even the flames are cold."
From my years hanging around ranchers I picked up these two.
"She's purtier than a new red heifer." I don't know how many ladies would like to be compared to a heifer but in a rancher's eyes that's a pretty strong compliment.
"He's got more guts than you can hang on a fence."
My grandmother had a few she used quite often.
"Heavier than a dead minister." Don't know where that came from but she used it often.
"If you've ate beans, you've ate." She was a survivor of the depression so I can understand where that one came from.
"Apple pie without the cheese is like a kiss without the squeeze." In the northeast, apple pie is always served with a small wedge of sharp cheddar cheese.
And some that have been with me for decades though I don't know where I picked them up.
"He's not worth shooting if you wanted to unload your gun."
"If you have a problem with everybody, everybody's probably not the problem."
"That meat was so tough you couldn't stick a fork in the gravy."
When folks complain about how cold it is up here on the north slope I usually tell them, "you're not kidding, I stepped outside with my cup of coffee and it froze so fast the ice was still warm." I'll admit I stole that one from Festus on Gunsmoke.
:D :D. Good ones!
Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades
Had a retired teacher in Junior High that did sub teaching and coaching for a few years after official retirement. His favourite was
Well shiver me timbers! Whod'a thunk it?
He said it a lot when he was coaching.
I Googled it and found some interesting reading. :P
Colder than a well driller's cap'n quarters
close only counts in darts and dancing 8) I can't see the forest for the trees, if you pay in peanuts you will probably work with monkeys... don't get me started.
Does a cat have a climbing gear?
Are grits groceries?
If you're a Baptist..."You can't have a dancing foot and a praying knee on the same leg"
Quote from: ncsawyer link=topic=70413.msg1363069#msg1363069 date=1455592218
Are grits groceries?
/quote]
Yes......yes they are. food6
When folks complain about how cold it is up here on the north slope I usually tell them, "you're not kidding, I stepped outside with my cup of coffee and it froze so fast the ice was still warm." I'll admit I stole that one from Festus on Gunsmoke.
[/quote]
Lol I can see Doc pull his nose and shake his head.
One I heard from time to time when I was younger went like this"I don't care what everybody says about you son, you ain't stupid" :)
Looking at a different thread I thought of this old saying, don't know if its been on here or not.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
SE
My dad had a bunch of sayings,, 8)
As good as you are and as bad as I am, I'm as good as you are as bad as I am. :)
sweet tea goes with everything and nobody eats till after AMEN :) maybe more of a southern thang ;D :) :) :)
"I can still do a good days work, Just takes a couple days to do it."
a chicken has little bitty head and even it has enough sense to get in out of the rain :D
Don't let your education get in the way of learning something.
One I use at work is, "you can lead a machinist to a print, but you can't make them read it..."
Engine who drink whole gallon of Sweet Tea by himself drown in his own TeePee.
No sense being dumb if you don't show it!
Goat Man,
You just insulted all Native Americans and the Whole South. All with only one sentence. Now, that takes real skill :D.
hahaha I thought it was spelt Injun
Quote from: WDH on September 21, 2016, 08:34:58 PM
Goat Man,
You just insulted all Native Americans and the Whole South. All with only one sentence. Now, that takes real skill :D.
smiley_indianchief smile_banjoman the resident goat better be careful we like bbq down here too digin1 digin_2 musteat_1 :D :D :D
smiley_curtain_peek
The good Lord gave you two ears and one mouth.Look at the ratio .
Quote from: Al_Smith on September 22, 2016, 04:52:58 AM
The good Lord gave you two ears and one mouth.Look at the ratio .
umm I have seen some people have 2 mouths one in front and one in the back and talk out of the back one a lot :D :D
Quote from: coxy on September 22, 2016, 08:59:35 PM
Quote from: Al_Smith on September 22, 2016, 04:52:58 AM
The good Lord gave you two ears and one mouth.Look at the ratio .
umm I have seen some people have 2 mouths one in front and one in the back and talk out of the back one a lot :D :D
Hey Coxy can you please stand up and turn around so that we can hear what you're saying :D :D ;D
:D :D :) 8) ;D
Maybe not old but I saw a cute bumper sticker today "When I die please bury me at the Mall so my wife can visit my grave." :D
I heard a guy tell my dad one time "It sure is dry. I bet that's the lowest that river has ever been." Dad told him, "Nope, when I was a kid one time it got so low we had half grown bluegills that did not know how to swim and and when you'd catch one all the catfish had ticks and fleas on them."
Don't you hate it when you see an old person and you realize.....hey, I went to school with him. :D :D :D
If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a WEEK. . Quite from Theodore Roosevelt
Had a very good friend of the family went to church with us when I was growing up who was a logger. Use to like to ruffle my hair and say," hello rosebud" and when asked why rose bud he would say," because you're a real blooming idiot" and he would do it with the biggest grin. I miss that Ole guy.
One of my granddad's favorite sayings was,"better to be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt."
I heard a new saying on TV a while ago:
Picking a candidate for President this year is like picking a seat on the Titanic. :D :D :D
For us procrastinators: "Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the next day."
Don't let the facts get in the way of your opinion!
ain't got brains enough to poke sand in a rat hole
james
;D ;D ;D
I just heard this one referring to lessons in life:
If you don't listen to the first note.....you want hear the rest of the song.
We'll see what happens when the tail hold slips.
Quote from: logger RK on June 11, 2017, 09:49:51 PM
We'll see what happens when the tail hold slips.
Listen to the song "too high on the stump" by buzz martin and he'll tell ya
My grandfathers saying, on anything that wasn't perfect,or pretty,but was doing the job "a man running for his life would never notice"
Quote from: woodmaker on June 13, 2017, 10:23:05 PM
My grandfathers saying, on anything that wasn't perfect,or pretty,but was doing the job "a man running for his life would never notice"
Pretty good. :D
Or,we ain't building a piano. I had heard when building at The neighbors dairy farm.
no on will ever notice that a 100 years from now
Sorta how my brother described some things. "Good from far, but far from good."
when a wee lad hurts himself. Then told "It will be all better by the time your grandpaw"
Another one from gramp,after you cut your finger or scraped your knee "You'll probably live,it's a long way from your heart"
The biggest fool in town is the man who fools himself.
If it weren't for bad luck, wouldn't have no luck at all.
Waiting to fill a dump truck, I sat behind a guy doing paperwork at the only diesel fuel pump in town. It made me think of another of gramps' sayings."Use your head for something besides a hat rack"
Had a teacher in Jr. High that use to say, "Use your brain for more than keeping your ears separated."
Quote from: woodmaker on June 22, 2017, 10:21:13 PM
Waiting to fill a dump truck, I sat behind a guy doing paperwork at the only diesel fuel pump in town. It made me think of another of gramps' sayings."Use your head for something besides a hat rack"
I used to live in a town like that, only one diesel pump and the whole county didn't have a single traffic light or a Starbucks, that was over 100 miles away. Alturas California.
There is still not a single traffic light in my "home" county. The two largest employers are the hospital and jail, and that is no joke. Zero industry.
Exactly how it was in Alturas (Modoc County). I was a nurse at the hospital and that made me a county employee.
My grade four teacher told me I was going to be an astronaut when I grew up. She said all I do in school is take up space 😁
I like the governments saying keep fixing it till its broke :)
I was supposed to be an electrical engineer when I got old, but all that I did was got old. :-X
"Great minds think alike" and "Fools seldom differ".
Sometimes it's as though "The hurryer I go, the behinder I get"!
From wifes grandma," can't tell how fat a rooster is by looking him in the face". ;D
Quote from: Chuck White on August 05, 2017, 06:33:50 AM
Sometimes it's as though "The hurryer I go, the behinder I get"!
Just sometimes??? Seems like most of the time with me ;D
I'm gonna go to a Pig Roast.....some day. :-\
Yes, enough FF members say this for it to be an "Old Saying".
:D :D
Quote from: Magicman on August 07, 2017, 02:08:12 PM
I'm gonna go to a Pig Roast.....some day. :-\
Yes, enough FF members say this for it to be an "Old Saying".
I just wish it wasn't 2000 miles away. And I'm sure that this is an old saying to.
My father-in-law now passed used to say how tall are you? You give your answer and he'd say I didn't know they stacked poop that high. :D :D :D
Quote from: Angela on August 08, 2017, 08:38:42 PM
My father-in-law now passed used to say how tall are you? You give your answer and he'd say I didn't know they stacked poop that high. :D :D :D
welcome to the FF
Welcome to the Forestry Forum, Angela!
Welcome Angela nice place to be, where are you from?
Quote from: coxy on August 08, 2017, 08:46:08 PM
Quote from: Angela on August 08, 2017, 08:38:42 PM
My father-in-law now passed used to say how tall are you? You give your answer and he'd say I didn't know they stacked poop that high. :D :D :D
welcome to the FF
I have others but they aren't forum friendly
Quote from: coxy on August 08, 2017, 08:46:08 PM
Quote from: Angela on August 08, 2017, 08:38:42 PM
My father-in-law now passed used to say how tall are you? You give your answer and he'd say I didn't know they stacked poop that high. :D :D :D
welcome to the FF
I live in a little town in the S.W. corner of Missouri in a town called Anderson
You and FF member Paul Case are "step" neighbors. He lives in Quapaw, OK. ;D
Quote from: Magicman on August 14, 2017, 09:25:00 PM
You and FF member Paul Case are "step" neighbors. He lives in Quapaw, OK. ;D
I'm the type of person who can't remember people's names unless we are close. However my Great grandma and family are from okmulgee Oklahoma she was full blood Blackfoot Indian I have Cherokee cousins
Quote from: Chuck White on August 09, 2017, 06:33:30 AM
Welcome to the Forestry Forum, Angela!
Thank you Chuck!!!
Quote from: sandhills on August 09, 2017, 09:52:31 AM
Welcome Angela nice place to be, where are you from?
I live in a little town in the S.W. corner of Missouri in a town called Anderson
Work him like a borrowed mule.
Its a good idea to never meet your Hero.
Aw shucks. :-X :-\
There's a lot of wisdom in that one POSTON.
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on August 24, 2017, 08:32:45 PM
Its a good idea to never meet your Hero.
Sadly, I met my hero once. . . . .
You remind me of a Golf Ball......
You're small, bald and I wanna hit you just as far away from me as I can! bat_smailey
Listen to da Bully Goat and get as far away as you can as fast as you can !!! :D :D
Either that or call his bluff! 8) 8) 8)
Smack my finger with a hammer... Hey... You all right ?
Nope...
I'm haft left...
To be a good liar a man needs a real good memory.
Vegetarian - Old Indian word meaning poor hunter/fisherman.
Local election coming up to reduce voter fraud - I tell everyone go vote early and often in support of it.
This is not an "old saying" because it just came to my mind as I was reading a reply in another topic: :-\
The most important part of communicating is listening.
Or I could have said:
If you think that you know everything now, you will later when you finish making mistakes.
On a similar vein - Those people who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
Or, I used to know everything but I forgot most of it by the time I could talk.
Cheers
gww
:D :D :D :D :D
I just stole this one from a differrent site.
My Grandad used to say, "It's better to do nothing than to work for nothing because then at least you don't eat so much.
Cheers
gww
dad , when talking about a "infamous" neighbor , when he dies , wont need to bury him , just put a pipe wrench on his head ,and screw him into the ground
A bird in the hand will get you a dirty hand.
The good die young, the ornery live forever.
when something is a mess you cant make plum pudding out of dog ship
Been around since Moby Dick was a Minnow.
that's funny I just heard that a few days ago from an old timer :)
I worked with a guy one time when I was in USMC who used to say "We've done it like this since Jesus Christ was a corporal."
One time I got frustrated with him and told him "Well, he's a sergeant now so lets try something different."
Eating lunch, watching "Gunsmoke" I heard the funniest one in a while,,, Festus got shot in the head but lived,, the old codger that saved Festus, later turns out to be a crazy ole man,, well, once they found the outlaw that shot Festus,,and Festus determined to bring him in to hang for killing the sheriff, the crazy ole codger said to Festus, "you are so hard headed, I bet your head bent that bullet"!! now thats' pretty hard headed,,, :D :D
I'm a Gunsmoke fan. Good 1.
I heard a good one from Terry Bradshaw, a Fox Sports Analyst about how poor the New York Giants are playing. He said that they were like a possum. They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
:D :D :D :D :D
Once will watching a Go-cart race the two lead carts were inches apart going around the track and the announcer said "he's on him like a airport Krishna"
Quote from: WDH on October 20, 2017, 07:38:51 AM
I heard a good one from Terry Bradshaw, a Fox Sports Analyst about how poor the New York Giants are playing. He said that they were like a possum. They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
This is funny, i don't care who you are. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
"I'll be a monkeys uncle," is an expression that I've often pondered its origin. Looked it up, and it dates back to the 1926 Snopes trial. :D :D
wow Roxie that brought back some memories my grandma use to say that all the time haven't heard that in over 30 years thanks
Quote from: Roxie on October 30, 2017, 10:34:50 AM
"I'll be a monkeys uncle," is an expression that I've often pondered its origin. Looked it up, and it dates back to the 1926 Snopes trial. :D :D
My Dad was born in 1926. Maybe he started it. :D :D :D :D :D
Speaking of monkeys, I never knew this until last year:
"The story goes that cannonballs used to be stored aboard ship in piles, on a brass frame or tray called a 'monkey'. In very cold weather the brass would contract, spilling the cannonballs: hence very cold weather is 'cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey'."
-- From The Oxford Dictionary
Not at all what I was thinking.
well guess that solves that mystery ;D
Now that takes the cake! My Mom used this one a lot!
Now, don't that beat all! Festus Haggin, Gunsmoke!
If your brain was dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.
Was drilling a piece of steel at work the other, the bit was dull, said to my partner, "this drill is duller than you!"
Quote from: Mcavvie on November 11, 2017, 07:13:41 AM
Was drilling a piece of steel at work the other, the bit was dull, said to my partner, "this drill is duller than you!"
lol thats a good one, I usually say its duller than a game of golf
duller than a hoe or its so dull you could ride to NY on it and never get cut
Quote from: 4x4American on November 11, 2017, 07:07:05 PM
I usually say its duller than a game of golf
Now you've struck a nerve. >:( ( old saying)
4x4, prepare for a butting. In a couple weeks, it will take a while for the goat to get to upstate NY. :D
Busier than a cat trying to cover poop on the sidewalk.
Struck a nerve ? You play Golf in a skirt .
Busier than a chicken scratching mud!
Happier than a dog with a stick
Jumpier than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs! :o
Quote from: red on November 12, 2017, 03:29:44 PM
Struck a nerve ? You play Golf in a skirt .
:D :D :D
Quote from: sandhills on November 13, 2017, 08:59:50 AM
Quote from: red on November 12, 2017, 03:29:44 PM
Struck a nerve ? You play Golf in a skirt .
:D :D :D
Does that keep the game from being dull or something? :D
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on November 12, 2017, 02:17:44 PM
Quote from: 4x4American on November 11, 2017, 07:07:05 PM
I usually say its duller than a game of golf
Now you've struck a nerve. >:( ( old saying)
Don't let him get your goat Poston ;D
busier than a one armed paper clip hanger
that old lady is meaner than a box full of yellow jackets :) not shur if I said this one but that guy is so crooked when he dies they will have to screw him in the ground
He is so tight he'd skin a flea for his tallow.
"There will be no leave, liberty, mail or pay until morale improves" - USMC memories.
I got one similar to that. I seen this on an office door. " The beatings will continue until morale improves." Banjo
Yep, seen that one too. Very appropriate.
New Old Saying......"When One smashes a Blade Guide Arm into the Loader Arms that were Left too High, There is Much Trouble Ahead."
Oh Man, not again......again!! :o
Quote from: WDH on November 26, 2017, 08:16:55 AM
New Old Saying......"When One smashes a Blade Guide Arm into the Loader Arms that were Left too High, There is Much Trouble Ahead."
Tell me you didn't ? :o
And that, my friends is what makes WDH such a good admin. He can truly empathize with the rest of us peons.
:D
Ok, believe it or not, I read the whole thread and managed to stay more or less sane... so here's a couple that haven't surfaced yet:
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Death is natures way of telling you to be more careful.
Can't start a fire with just the big logs....
Oh, well, my two cents worth for now. Should memory kick in again anytime soon, I've got some more, I think, but maybe not...
LJ
Quote from: ljmathias on November 27, 2017, 09:55:28 PM
I've got some more, I think, but maybe not...
LJ
( old saying )
If it ain't broke, don't fix it ole saying was missed!
Hard to believe we missed dat one. (Old sayin')
Ya, (yeah) dats a good one! (Old saying)
Then there are those people and organizations tht would keep fixing until it is broken.
That is so true. (old saying)
I added this to a reply in another topic today. It was a favorite saying of a friend (co-worker) of mine that was struck and killed by a drunk driver that ran through our work location. I was talking to him one second and the next second....he was gone. Curtis Wall Boney, I still think of him quite often and that was over 50 years ago.
A Thing of Beauty is a Joy Forever.
Thats awful Lynn.
Come on in, everything else has gone wrong today.
Ouch! :D
Reminds me of my moms neighbours who have one of them doormats that says " Oh no, not you again!"
Too pooped to pop.
Quote from: Grizzly on November 28, 2017, 10:09:03 PM
Ouch! :D
Reminds me of my moms neighbours who have one of them doormats that says " Oh no, not you again!"
ask them where they got it that's funny :D :D :D
Quote from: Magicman on November 29, 2017, 11:29:20 AM
Too pooped to pop.
Lynn I haven't heard that in a long time thanks for the memory that went with it :) :)
coxy, I've seen them at some of those little craft/bazaar stores but not in any store resembling a chain store. Mom turned it around on them once so they'd read it on their way out. those old folks giggled for a while!
This is one from my Grandmother. "Hunger is a great sauce"
I heard one similar, "hungry is better than ketchup".
Favorite Tombstone...... "TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"
Yeah, that one was on one of the trail at 6 Flags over Ga in Atlanta as I remember.
One I saw as a kid was:
Ma loved Pa.
Pa loved Wimmin
Ma caught Pa with 2 in swimmin
Here lies Pa
Paranoid schizophreniacs do sometimes have enemies
and
Hypochondriacs do get sick
Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get me!
Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on February 15, 2016, 10:39:28 PM
Quote from: ncsawyer link=topic=70413.msg1363069#msg1363069 date=1455592218
Are grits groceries?
/quote]
Yes......yes they are. food6
Not sure if its an old saying but agree grits are groceries.
(https://forestryforum.com/gallery/albums/userpics/21495/DSC_0092.jpg?easyrotate_cache=1281294583)
Where's that dislike button.
An old one I heard my Grandmother say was: No matter where you go, there you are!
"Lord willing and the creek don't rise"
Don't believe everything you think.
or:
I have told you more than I know already.
Quote from: Magicman on December 09, 2017, 07:15:50 PM
I have told you more than I know already.
:D :D :D :D :D :D I love it!
From a co-worker in Bagram Afghanistan -
"I know nothing. And I can prove it."
quote from thecfarm
QuoteWhere's that dislike button.
This might be an old saying some day.
Cheers
gww
I'm not saying it's a typical saying, but........
I remember when we were all still at home, I would hear my Mom say every once in a while: "I'm not going to tell you again", but she usually did!
Ah, the memories!
Quote from: Chuck White on December 09, 2017, 08:53:04 PM
I'm not saying it's a typical saying, but........
I remember when we were all still at home, I would hear my Mom say every once in a while: "I'm not going to tell you again", but she usually did!
Ah, the memories!
That was better than "I'm gonna tell your daddy!" :o :o :o
You wait till your father gets home
My Grandma Carson would call out when someone knocked on the door, "String's out, come on in." So when I built the mud room onto our 5th wheel I put in a door with a string.
https://youtu.be/R9Y6djjzzL8 (https://youtu.be/R9Y6djjzzL8)
That's neat Darrel.
I taught him everything he knows.....fortunately I didn't teach him everything I know... smiley_beertoast
I always say,I taught him everything he knows and he still don't know nothing.
Someday I hope you have kids just like you, then you'll understand exactly what I'm going through now...........turns out my mom was right about this too.
A customer of mine was told by his wife he had to keep an eye on his daughter and her boyfriend this past weekend so they didn't do anything "wrong", while they were out deer hunting, he asked why she didn't do this herself. Her reply was because she was "his" daughter and the only reason she was concerned was because she was his daughter thus it would his fault if something were to happen that shouldn't happen.
So he told his daughter and her boyfriend to not do anything that would upset her mother, because first she'd be upset with him, then shortly later she'd focus on "her" and to trust him, it wouldn't be pretty when she'd be that mad. The way he told it was really funny, then he asked us, have you seen them, and we said, yes, they were out deer hunting dressed in orange and looking at each other and we think we think they each found the dear they were hunting for. It took him a few seconds then he stated, my mom was right, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Then we told him to not worry, we were pretty sure they were both looking hot and sweaty and winded due to walking and not other reason's.....................took him a few seconds to say, well then maybe she's more like her mother than me, if she'd be like me, there wouldn't be much walking involved to get hot and sweaty at that age.
I told him to keep one thing in mind when it comes to teenagers, sex is heriditary , chances are if your parents never had sex, neither would you...........he laughed then told us, maybe you should be the one to tell my wife that one, she's really not interested in anything I have say right now, most everything these days is my fault.
I told him to look at the bright side, if anything goes wrong, the husband is to blame and when things go right, the wife deserves the credit..........and behind ever successful man is a woman and behind her is a completely shocked mother in law.
Then he told me, chances are if don't like your mother in law from the start, you'll wake up years later only to find out your wife turned into her and your then married to your mother in law.....I couldn't help it, I laughed at that one.
He then asked, if everyone knew so much and kept telling us all the years we were growing up, why didn't we listen to any of them. I told him it was because we were smarter than they were and we were going to prove them wrong. He asked, hows it going for me, I told him about the same as it was going for him, we both laughed and then I told him I had to get back to work or the owner would fire me, he then said, slaves get sold, free men get fired.
There were quite a few more but those I can't print.
A man works from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done. Or the way my dad put it, a woman works from sun to sun but a man's work is never done, depends on who's telling it.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
If at first you don't succeed, you can always file bankruptcy and start over again. I think it was supposed to be if at first you don't succeed, try again.
Every neighborhood has a designated ahole, and if you don't know who it is, chances are its you.
Accidents do cause people.
I tried to learn him, but he just won't teach!
When the cats away, the mice will play!
"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."
(Not that old, but eventually it will be.)
Taught him every thing he knows and he still konw any thing
Behind every good man there is a woman rolling her eyes. ::)
Dedicated to Roxie:
"Behind every successful woman is a surprised man"
:-X whiteflag_smiley
A older guy I knew,when talking of good sized hill,was steeper then a cows face.
Quote from: Magicman on December 11, 2017, 08:31:56 PM
:-X whiteflag_smiley
Run for the hills ! smiley_horserider smiley_sun
Magic
Surrender is for sissys.
Cheers
gww
Ain't skeered, just gonna distance myself from Reply #985. :o :D
Dun look like you is skeert :laugh: :laugh:
fraidy cat
another old saying
Some pretty good ones in this:
Words of wisdom to pass along.
1. Never shake a man's hand sitting down.
2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs aren't one.
3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.
4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.
5. Act like you've been there before. Especially in the end zone.
6. Request the late check-out.
7. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
8. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.
9. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
10. Don't fill up on bread.
11. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look him in the eye.
12. Don't let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.
13. If you need music on the beach, you're missing the point.
14. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.
15. You marry the girl, you marry her whole family.
16. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.
17. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.
18. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.
19. Never turn down a breath mint.
20. Sit in reverance of your Creator, but remember He gave you Free Will. Do your work.
21. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.
22. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.
23. Thank a veteran. And then make it up to him or her
24. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
25. Eat lunch with the new kid.
26. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.
27. Ask your dad to play. he'll never let you win.
28. Open doors for people.
29. Give credit. Take the blame.
30. Write down your dreams.
31. Say "Thank you for your service." to firefighters, police officers, military personnel etc.
32. Be proud of your efforts and accomplishments, but don't get cute.
33. Remember this equation: E+R=O - event + response = outcome.
34. When the truth is delivered with respect, how the other person responds is their deal.
35. If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
36. Know how to: change your oil, fix a sink, save your money and be the hero in an argument (calm it down).
37. Remember: Prayer is talking to God. Meditation is hearing from God. Get good at doing both.
38. You are 100% responsible for your own life.
39. Patience is a virtue, but slow feet don't eat.
40. Understand the balance of confidence and humility.
Thank You my Friend.
My Mother once told me; "If the other person didn't laugh, it wasn't a joke".
Good ones David.
A buddy used a similar one "Pray for rain but keep on hoeing the weeds."
I don't remember most of them but some military and "Pretty Good Rules for Gunfighting" included:
1. Don't draw fire - it annoys those around you.
2. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is nobody's friend.
3. If the enemy is in range - so are you.
4. They won't remember who drew first, just who shot last.
5. Shoot twice - bullets are cheap, lives aren't.
6. Never use a pistol whose caliber does not start with at least a 4.
You can likely demilitrize each of these and apply to your daily routine
Behind every successful man is a completely shocked mother in law
This first one I don't know how old it is, but it gets me every time
"You need a vacuum gauge to give him an IQ test". And one my father used to say, " Keenness of observation is the first rule of success"
From back during my project days I came across the six phases of a major project. For those of you who have worked in this kind on environment you may recognize how accurate they tend to be.
1. Enthusiasm
2. Disallusionment
3. Panic
4. Search for the guilty
5. Punishment of the innocent
6. Rewards for the non-participants
"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read."
― Mark Twain
My dad had a funny limerick. Not exactly an old saying, but still pretty old, and funny. He told it to me when I was a little kid, scared of going upstairs by myself.
I met a man upon the stair -
a little man who wasn't there.
I met him there again today.
I wish that man would go away.
A guy picked up his lumber EARLY today ( Sunday Morning ).
He was so excited he had actually brought logs out of his yard and got enough lumber to put board and baton on his shed.
He said, "I'm as happy as a Carp in a Septic Tank!". :o :o :o
I'm thinking holy ........ :D :D :D :D :D
He was jacked!
:D :D :D :D :D
I wonder if that's happier than a dog with a stick.
I always heard "Happy as a pig in a mudhole."
tornado in a trailer park.
Hmm, my dad was from West Virginia and he always said "Happy as a pig in a poke".
...a dead dog laying in the sunshine.
...a dog eating chinese food
There are some really good sayings in this thread, one of my favorites that a friend used once.
"You can never go back and have a new beginning, but you can start today and create a new ending."
The early bird gets the worm--- but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Quote from: bags on April 03, 2018, 08:30:30 PM
The early bird gets the worm--- but the second mouse gets the cheese.
lol lol lol
This thread is so lame that it only proves the old adage that "There's only three kinds of people in this world. Those that can count, and those that can't!"
Grinning like a skunk eating bumblebees watching someone that is shivering like a dog pooping razor blades!!!!😁