A Forestry Forum snake hunting trip

[WV Sawmiller]

    Tom (Old Greenhorn), Howard (WV Sawmiller) and Doc Henderson decide to go on an adventure safari of sorts. It has been a long cold winter and Tom suggests some place warm and not too expensive as he spent too much money buying and outfitting his box truck and the shows have been pretty slow.

     Howard suggests they go to the Everglades and go python hunting and with the money they make catching snakes they can off-set the cost of their trip and maybe even make a little money. Doc is not too sure that is a good idea but he figures he can get a new Nature Badge for is Scout Master Uniform.

    They meet outside Everglades city and go to their Air B&B and unpack. Doc is a little uncertain about the B&B when he sees the Vultures roosting in the dead live oak in the yard. Tom asks about the big tracks and drag marks in the mud in the back yard leading up to the porch but Howard assures them it is nothing to worry about. He brags on getting such a good rate on the place because the last customers kept complaining about skunk-apes and such in the woods nearby.

    They get a semi-good night's sleep with the owls hooting, bull frogs (or was that gators) bellowing and a funny odor from the woods nearby get up the next morning and Howard fixes a big pot of grits to fuel everyone up for the day ahead. Doc is a little dubious but admits they aren't too bad. Tom's comments can't be repeated here on a family site.

    They climb aboard the swamp buggy that came with the B&B and Tom's experience with equipment comes in to play and they finally get it started and head off into the swamp. A few miles later Doc spot a hammock or patch of high ground and opines that looks like a good place to start hunting so they park the buggy and have a quick team meeting.

    Howard grabs a couple of pillow cases he brought from the B&B because they forgot to pack any catch bags for their trip. Tom asks what a python looks like. Howard says they are different shades of brown (Which will almost certainly look purple to Tom anyway) with some black lines. Tom asks how you catch them and Doc says on all the shows he has watched they look around till the spot movement then lunge in and grab it by the tail and pull it out till they can get the head then put it in the bag.

    Tom says he thinks he understand the concept and they spread out and start walking through the palmettoes and sawgrass. Tom yells out "I think I see something moving by a big log over here. Howard replies for him to grab it quick before it escapes in a hole or something. Tom makes a quick grab and gets a secure grip. He says "I've got him but I'm having trouble pulling him out of the bushes." Howard replies "Just hold tight and he will get tired and come free. Hold on, we're coming to help"
Tom yells "I think he's slipping. I should have him any minute. It's a big one!" Howard and Doc arrive to the scene below:

[barbender]

😂😂😂

[doc henderson]

OK Howard, check the weekly organizer and make sure you have had your medication.  Is that one of your benches in the lower right-hand corner?  OMG OGH!

[Magicman]

I notice that my initials are penciled in just in front of the snake's business end, and I deny everything. 

[thecfarm]

And what happens next? 
I kinda expected it to have 2 legs. 

[WV Sawmiller]

And what happens next?
I kinda expected it to have 2 legs. 

Ray,

    This is where you and other members pick up this thread to continue it.

[doc henderson]

Its art man, up to each individual to interpret.  

[WV Sawmiller]

(Our story continues)

  Tom yells "come help. I can't hold him much longer." Doc and Howard rush over and Doc says "Youi better hold him you big dummy. You've caught a rattlesnake! I thought we were just after pythons and I did not bring my anti-venom. Maybe you better just turn him loose. They aren't worth anything anyway." Howard quickly corrects him "Maybe not here but I have a neighbor who preaches up at a little church up the holler and they pay pretty good money for them. They like to 'Take up the serpent', as he calls it at special services. I'll take this one home to him".

        Tom says "This can't be a rattlesnake. It has to be 10' long!" Howard takes a good look and says "Nope, he's not an inch over 8' I bet. Here, I got his head pinned down with this forked stick. Now you slide the rest of him in this tater sack and we'll tie him off."

        Tom and Doc finally get the snake started in the sack after a couple of failed attempts and Howard shakes him down into the sack and ties the top securely. After that he says "I think we need to move to another spot. Tom made so much racket yelling I bet he's scared off any other snakes in the area." Doc agrees and Tom is certainly ready to leave this area especially after Howard reminds them rattlesnakes often travel in pairs.

        They trek back to swamp buggy and load the snake in the side box and finally get it started again. They drive about a mile and Doc says "This looks like a good spot. Let's try it here." They get out and start looking and Howard spots movement under a small swamp cabbage palm. Sure enough it is a big python. In fact it looks like a mating ball with several males chasing a female. Howard grabs a couple of 8' males and Doc gets a secure grip on the 12' female. Tom manages to snag a 6' juvenile that is trying to escape the ruckus. His hands are still sweaty from the last snake he caught and he doesn't get a good drip and it twists around in his hand and bites him on the thumb and wrist and a couple of other unimportant places. Howard tosses his snakes in a bag and jerks the 6' snake off of Tom. It comes free with a good chunk of flesh still in its jaws. Tom looks down at the blood spurting from his wrist and gets too close to Doc and the big 12' female gets a double loop around his neck and starts squeezing tightly.
         
    Howard gets the bags tied off with the smaller snakes and Doc says "I need some help here. Tom's face is starting to turn purple." Tom mumbles something incoherent about "These purple jokes ain't funny no more. Get this thing offa me!" Howard gets a grip and he and Doc play tug of war for a few minutes with snake with Tom in the middle and finally the snake tires and Tom falls to the ground gasping for breath, blood still oozing from his left wrist and a pretty bad rash around his neck from the rough snake scales.

        Doc gets a pressure bandage on Tom's wrist and decides that is good enough and he and Howard resume hunting. They agree this is a pretty good spot. Tom is still a little miffed and heads off on his own mumbling something about "true friends and real buddies" and such.

        Tom sees a patch of dead grass and leaves next to the canal and hears something "Nunk, Nunk, Nunk" so he goes over to investigate. He sees a couple flashes of white and yells back to Howard and Doc "Hey guys, I think I found a python nest." He starts digging inside as Doc and Howard rush over to help. "Ouch!" Tom yells and pulls his finger out of the nest with a 10" baby alligator firmly attached. Howard yells at him "That's not a python nest. Its an alligator nest." Tom replies "You Dang dummy I figured that out" and raises his right hand with the baby gator still attached. Howard replies "Yeah but don't you know mama gators protect their nest?"

          Sure enough a mini-Tsunami erupts from the canal as an angry 10' mama gator comes boiling up out of the murky water. Tom turns to run and shakes junior off his torn pinky and back into the nest with his siblings and heads for a lone cypress tree and practices his Elevator tree shinny technique. It works – almost. Mama G lunges and just before Tom gets out of range and grabs hold of his left boot. Another tug of war ensues and finally Tom's brand new Muck boot he had just bought at Cabelas the day before for this trip comes free. He yells down and the mad dinosaur below "Hey, those cost me $150". The irate mama gator shakes it then swallows $75 worth of rubber boot. She waddles over and lunges up but can't quite reach Tom's other boot to finish her meal Tom grabs the first limb and pulls himself up another couple of feet and breathes a sigh of relief. "Safe at last" he mumble/grumbles. Then he sees the distinctive football shape of a 3' long hornet's nest and hears a loud buzzing. This can't be good!

[doc henderson]

Howard is that another of your benches at the bottom of that artwork.?  Was Toms face really purple or was it brown?  the black and white artist's rendering leave a few things, (very few) to the imagination.

[barbender]

 Not that I have any around here to trap, but how much does a venomous snake bring on the "taking up the sepent" market?😂

 Poor Tom, from the sounds of this he sounds like one of those guys that can only find trouble on an adventure.

 WV, your documentary artistic skills are right on point. Are you sure you were never a courtroom sketch artist?

[WV Sawmiller]

Doc,

  If you are volunteering to do the art work you are welcome to do so.  True genius does not always occur in all areas.

    I would not suggest you sit on that "bench" (although we may have Tom do so in a future episode)

BB,

    I am sure the price for snakes is highly negotiable. I am sure Tom's catch will fetch top dollar.   Maybe he can buy a new boot with his share. (I can hear Tom in the background "My share! I should get it all! I did all the hard and dangerous work! What a pal ^&%$@"

[Magicman]

I asked about Purple Drank at the PrOject, but was ignored.  Serves you right. 

[WV Sawmiller]

   Did you ask Tom?

[doc henderson]

Tom must be our sidekick like in the old westerns!  

[Old Greenhorn]

Well as interesting as this 'tale' is, I have no idea how I got involved in it and if I was I would probably recall my part in a slightly different light than that of comic relief. Let's just say I don't recall it not going down that way in the parts that I can't remember .

[Magicman]

That is sorta my question.  I was not even there yet I got initialed in.    

[Old Greenhorn]

Is it how you don't remember it too, also?

[Otis1]

This looks like the start of a great children's book about learning outdoor lessons.

[thecfarm]

There is a guy at work that is always "picking" on me. 
I tell him, what you don't see, you say.    

[WV Sawmiller]

That is sorta my question.  I was not even there yet I got initialed in.   

Lynn,

  Sorry you were feeling left out but that is clearly a Palmetto bush in the first picture you took to be your initials.