Say Anything Stupid Lately?

[Mark M]

My wife and I were going to the farm store the other day and she wanted to know where to turn. I told her "This place is so hard to find I usually go by it before I get there."

Mark

[Jeff]

I keep getting reminded of something I said at work several years ago. I was trying to descripe an area of southern Michigan that has rolling hills but very few trees. Just very smooth featureless rolling hills.  My first description to the guys is what I get reminded of.  

I called it "Hilly Flatland" :-/

[Mark M]

A couple of days ago I went up on the third floor of da turdy room house and several of the cats followed me up there. When I came down I couldn't get them to follow me so I left the door open so they could get back down. Later that night I told my daughter we would have to do a cat count to make sure they were all accounted for before we closed the door. She asked which ones were upstairs and I said, pointing to two that were in the living room, "I don't know for sure, but these two were one of them".  :

[Bibbyman]

In case you've not had enough of stupid things people have said,  here is a link to a collection of things Opie said....

Opie Says

Lots of good stuff on the Knowledge Base.... 8)

[DanG]

I ain't never said nuthin stoopid.




I may have typed a few, though. :-[

[Percy]

In case you've not had enough of stupid things people have said,  here is a link to a collection of things Opie said....

Opie Says

Lots of good stuff on the Knowledge Base.... 8)

Heya Bib
Thanks for the link......I laffed at Opie till I cried :D :D :DWoke up the whole house :D :D :DThat Opie sure makes alot of prophilactic statements ya?? :D :D

[Mark M]

Yeah that Opie link is what got me thinking about this. It is amazing what a person says sometimes.  :D

I remember a while back my mom wanted to get a ham radio license. For the lower level licenses you used to just find a local ham to administer the exam. I had a license but couldn't give the test to my mom. She said "Well maybe Tony (son-in-law) could give it to me?" - I said "No - it has to be an unrelated relative". ;D

[Kirk_Allen]

My wife hasnt let me live this one down yet and its been 10 years.

I was sound asleep when my sone knocked on the door. (I didnt hear him)  

Mom asks him whats wrong and he said he had a headache.  

Well she wakes me up and tells me he has a headache and I put my hand out and tell my son to take these (?)  

My wife said take what?  Your hands empty!

My response: Its fake aspirin for his headache.

May not be as funny when typed out but the laughter from my wife and son woke me up and boy was I ever confused.

[DanG]

Them sudden wake-ups can be real confusing.  My Dad was telling me, the other night, that he awoke with a start, feeling that someone was gripping his shoulder and shaking him. He sat up and looked around, but nobody was there, and Mom was snoozing peacefully. It sorta skeered him a bit.  I told him, "If it happens again, just peep at it with one eye. If it has wings and a halo, play dead. If it has a hood and a pitchfork, play possum. ;D

[dail_h]

   Most everything I say Is Stupid

[Gus]

Think I'll plead the 5th on this one

[Oregon_Sawyer]

All the women in my wife's family get words turned around sometimes when they speak quickly.  But the one time my older kids won't let my wife forget is the day she sent them out to "burn the cows and feed the garbage"

Loren

[LSUNo1]

Told the mechanic one time he needed to get my dam car fixed today cause without it I had no way to "motivate".  :

[Bro. Noble]

Well,  in retrospect,  I suppose it was a little foolish of me to complain to Jeff about my punkinhead :-/

[Tom]

Noble!  Put on some clothes, Son!   Can't you see you forgot yer shirt?  No, guess not.    ......you forgot yer shirt!!

[C_Miller]

   " It's clear, go ahead and back up"
   "Go right up here and make a left"

C ???

[Mark M]

I went to visit my relatives in Indiana a number of years ago. I asked my uncle how to get to my one aunt's house. His instructions included "Turn right a half mile before you get to the Shell station". His wife said "how is he supposed to know when he is a half mile from the Shell station when he's never been there?"

Mark