our spouses/ significant others

[mike_belben]

the lord gave me a woman just as stubborn and pig headed as me.  two alphas designed to tell the other one the things they dont like to hear.  wed make a good sitcom, filing and grinding each other into a good team over the years. 

[aigheadish]

I was the opposite of Bruno above. 

I'm a lover, not a fighter and with my first wife I was mostly a pushover. I didn't care to argue about things or speak my mind much. We could both be a bit stubborn and non-communicative. Then we got a divorce. 

I quickly learned, upon dating new women (my first wife was my first real relationship too), that I had my own set of needs and it didn't do me, or the women I was dating, any good to not speak my piece. I'm pretty gentle with my words so it was rarely any kind of big fight but I let my intentions, likes, and dislikes be known.

Then I got lucky and met my wife. She and I typically only argue over when Thanksgiving dinner will be ready for the family and a few other minor things, that don't really matter. She gets a little frustrated at my kids' work ethic, but we're working on that and I'm to blame for it anyway. She can outwork anyone I know, is sweet, and funny, and smart in lots of ways I'm not. It's beautiful. 

[Peter Drouin]

When you lose them to cancer, You will know 100% of their worth. :(

[mike_belben]

 :(  i hope to not find out, but some days lately it feels like thats the way im gonna get taught my lesson on taking her for granted. i pray about it all the time. 

[SawyerTed]

You know my previous posts were meant to be humorous and silly.  Emily and I get along very well and she's not really like my previous posts unless she's picking at me.  I reckon that I lay my share of traps for her as well all in fun. 

Once when we stopped at a country store for gas, she went in and picked up some snacks.  When she came out she remarked that country stores seem to arrange things in somewhat random ways.  Once example she gave was the condoms and the rubber washers for garden hoses were hanging next to each other.  I told her they were made of similar stuff so maybe in someone's mind it was appropriate. We chuckled about that.  Then in she went on at a little higher pitch that the fatback and the fishing worms were on different shelves in the same cooler.  It came out of my mouth before I could stop it, "That fatback won't hurt the worms!"  :D :D She obviously was thinking the other way around.  We laughed for a good minute over that.  Still do from time to time.  

We've made it nearly 38 years and I believe we get along better than most couples our age. It has taken that much time to really focus on what's important and let go of what isn't important.  I'd still rather go fishing with her than anybody even if I do have to bait her hook (with worms, not fatback). :D

[Ed_K]

 I've known my wife since I was 7 and kissed her the first time at 8. Oct will be 45 yrs and for the last 10 yrs we've had 3 real fights. One involved me not caring I had cancer and might die on her. But mostly we are so tuned into each other that when something come up as ain't she pretty we both say it at the same time. I do like to hear her yell at the tv tho.

[SawyerTed]

One true fact, it is difficult for her to start an argument if you are vacuuming....

[Southside]

WV - your wifes call reminds me of the time my wife was brutally attacked off our back porch.  I was north of the house and heard her scream, and I mean screaming for me on the south side of the house.  Clearly, something, or someone, was attacking her, and she only had moments to live.  The shortest distances between two points is a straight line so I go through the front screen door, grab a 12GA shotgun on the way by, run through the house due south toward the back door and was about to shoulder the back screen door open with the gun at the high ready, old entry habits die hard when you run point, when she yells "I am here" - meaning the laundry room that I just ran through and was about to break the door down exiting.  I look over and she is just standing there - no blood, no messed up hair, no attacker to be seen.  The cause of all the excitement?  A black snake had managed to get into the laundry room and found its way into a mouse trap, so it was rolling around and thrashing.  Now my wife will simply pick up a black snake if it's in the chicken coop and relocate it to the woods, and she will toss a mouse out of a trap and let the chickens eat it (yes they do that better than cats), so the thought of a critter causing her to scream to the point of breaking glass never crossed my mind.  I fully expected to find a rabid coyote or prison escapee on top of her.  We had a discussion about not mixing over-reactions and PTSD in the future after that.   

[mike_belben]

One true fact, it is difficult for her to start an argument if you are vacuuming....

Mine has a plaque that says 'no husband has ever been shot while washing the dishes.' 
Its held true so far but I have done quit a few batches at gunpoint.  

[WV Sawmiller]

SS,

 I had a similar heart stopping scream from my wife about 6 months ago. I was upstairs and heard her in the basement. I am pretty sure the neighbors must have heard her too. I rushed down to find a bat flying around the utility room. Evidently it came out of our son's old room that she has converted into her quilting room including a 120" wide quilting frame her Bernina long arms sewing machines fit on. When she opened the door the bat buzzed her on his way out. When I got to the bottom of the stairs she started handing me bath towels and brooms and making suggestions on how to catch or kill it. Meanwhile it flew back into our son's old bedroom so I calmly closed the door limiting to that one room and ignored it as I got closely buzzed a couple of times while I opened the window. The bat flew by on his circuit, saw the open window and flew out. Problem solved. I closed the window and went back upstairs.

 Someone in the household needs to remain calm no matter what the circumstances. ;D

[mike_belben]

It takes exactly one wasp, hornet or junebug for my wife to make a new door through the wall. It was funny at first but has worn off. 

[WV Sawmiller]

  Same thing here with a spider. 

Q: How much courage does it take for a woman to step on a spider?

A: We'll never know as it ain't gonna happen.

[Southside]

If it's a black widow my wife will smoosh them no questions asked.  

[WV Sawmiller]

   I have watched my wife place her camera within 2' of a 20'+ Anaconda in the Amazon jungle so she could get pictures of it's tongue flicking in and out then have a screaming fit when she walked into a spider web along the trail or a moth would fly into her hair in the tent.

 Then there was that time a huge roach jumped out from under the placemat at our dinner table in Ecuador and jumped down the front of her shirt and started running laps in there and... Oh, I probably should not mention too much more about that. Fortunately the local tribes in that part of the Amazon are still unconcerned about nudity even though they aren't used to seeing the outsiders/guests get into the swing of things so quickly.

EDIT: I checked my journal and the jumping roach was on 18 Dec 2008 at the Samona Lodge. And while the staff were not particularly alarmed the other guests were pretty surprised. :D :D

[mike_belben]

ive seen some surprising things at the roach motel but not the roach diner. interesting. 

[Southside]

Guess that's the Ecuador version of the Mississippi Squirrel Revival.   :D

[GAB]

  I have watched my wife place her camera within 2' of a 20'+ Anaconda in the Amazon jungle so she could get pictures of it's tongue flicking in and out then have a screaming fit when she walked into a spider web along the trail or a moth would fly into her hair in the tent.

Then there was that time a huge roach jumped out from under the placemat at our dinner table in Ecuador and jumped down the front of her shirt and started running laps in there and... Oh, I probably should not mention too much more about that. Fortunately the local tribes in that part of the Amazon are still unconcerned about nudity even though they aren't used to seeing the outsiders/guests get into the swing of things so quickly.

EDIT: I checked my journal and the jumping roach was on 18 Dec 2008 at the Samona Lodge. And while the staff were not particularly alarmed the other guests were pretty surprised. :D :D

Mr. Green:
Are you insinuating that your spouse did a whole year's worth of cardio exercises in a very short time?
GAB

[WV Sawmiller]

SS,

   She had already done her squirrel revival thing in WV when she opened the screen door, hit Ugly, the cat as she was carrying a chipmunk. Ugly dropped the chipmunk and it ran up her pants legs and she was making moves I had not seen before. Unfortunately she finally stepped on pore Alvin and he did not survive the encounter.

Gerald,

  She probably did and probably the folks watching got their share of cardio workout too. I know I did.

   Then there was the time the bat swooped by her ear in a remote lodge in northern Thailand and crashed into the floor and knocked himself out chasing a moth. We left him there but a moth flew into her hair a few minutes later and she said "That's it. I'm done." and went and got in bed under the mosquito net. I did not get much sleep that night as every 30 minutes she was up shining the light on the net which quickly became covered in bugs.

   When we got up the next morning the bat was gone. I don't know if he woke up and flew off during the night or a cobra came and ate him.

(Journal says approximately 8:00 pm 21 June 2011 for this one near Chiangmai Thailand)

[petefrom bearswamp]

When we had our house in Florida, one night the wifey woke me with several blood curdling screams.
Never heard her yell so loud.
I got the light on and a little frog jumped out of the covers and disappeared before I could catch it
Of course I was told no further rest until the critter was caught.
Our bedroom door was shut so it was limited to the BR and adjoining bathroom.
Found it on the wall of the Bathroom,caught it in a towel and liberated it into our front yard.
I went right back to sleep but she was alert all the rest of the night.
Looked it up in he morning and it was a Cuban tree frog, an invasive species.

[SawyerTed]

I am apt to go to bed early compared to my wife.  The first year we lived in our house I was working full time as a teacher and coming home and working on the house and doing farm work (cow-calf and tobacco).  

One night I ran completely out of gas and went to bed early.  Em was watching a vampire movie.  It was fall and pleasantly cool so we had windows open with screens  in. 

I had spent the afternoon installing screens. Little did I know one in our bedroom window screens wasn't latched quite right. 

As I fell asleep the screen fell out.  I caught a bit of motion across the bedroom.  It was then I heard the only blood curdling scream I've ever heard Emily make.  

A bat had flown through the open window and into the living room.  Apparently the  ceiling fan had it confused so it was flying round and round the living room.  

I had vaulted out of bed to find Emily had gone upstairs and closed our daughter and herself in the nursery. 

I did the only thing I could think of, I got the broom trying to knock the thing out of the air.

There I was in my underwear swinging a broom at a bat in the living room.  Emily came out of the upstairs bedroom to watch.  

She laughed and laughed at the spectacle.   I have to admit it's doggone hard to swat a bat , they "see" it coming.  😝 

[red]

You use a Tennis Racket 

[WV Sawmiller]

   Reminds me of a co-worker telling the tale about having to get up in the middle of the night to take Pedro, their Chihuahua, out to go potty. He said he slept naked and did not bother to grab a robe or gym shorts or such. He let Pedro out then when he was finished marking his territory and such, picked him up and as he entered the kitchen, his teenage daughter walked in and  turned on the lights and there he was stark naked and trying to protect his modesty with a Chihuahua. I don't know who was more shocked - him, Pedro or the daughter. I always wondered if the daughter thought her dad was a pervert or something. :

[Ed_K]

 Rita's like y'all's wives, only it's snakes. As for bats you'll hear me hollering for her to come get it.

[samandothers]

The stories of snakes and mice hit close to home.  Since 07 to last spring when we'd visit our land in Va we stayed in a camper.  It was rustic using a generator and get water from a spring with woods and fields nearby.  We'd have lots of mice and the occasional snake.  

While not an anaconda my wife tried to grab a black snake in the camper as it started to high tail it to a hole in the toe kick of a cabinet.  She caught its tail about the time it had started through the hole.  It was a brief tug of war and she let go fearing she'd damage the snake.  She desired to have it in the camper more than mice.  Several times there would be an exclamation of surprise when a mouse would make and unexpected entry to the living quarters.  Though not blood curdling it would usually cause me to jump and have a shot of adrenalin.  Usually, this was proceeded by me setting up several mouse traps with peanut butter to attempt to dispatch the offending rodent(s).  

Spiders she will not deal with unless by rendering them immobile by hairspray or other spray product/insecticide.  Again, the spiders fall in my purview to deal with.  She is pretty fearless, and I try to stay on her good side.  I have read her some of these stories and she gets a kick out of them, and I think can identify with some of the ladies.  

[Don P]

If your spouse gently nudges you awake and asks if you'll shoot the deer outside... take a moment to wake up. Getting dressed is never a bad idea. Alert and steady is good, otherwise, branches and briars not so much, in the snow with nothing between oneself and ones maker but a pair of BVD's and bunny slippers.