iDRY Vacuum Kilns

Sponsors:

our spouses/ significant others

Started by petefrom bearswamp, January 11, 2022, 10:43:28 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

petefrom bearswamp

I'm sure all here love our spouses/significant others dearly, but do any of you get into unwinnable "discussions" with them on very trivial subjects?
Kubota 8540 tractor, FEL bucket and forks, Farmi winch
Kubota 900 RTV
Polaris 570 Sportsman ATV
3 Huskies 1 gas Echo 1 cordless Echo vintage Homelite super xl12
57 acres of woodland

LeeB

What does trivial have to do with it? I thought that was any subject.  :D :D :D :D
'98 LT40HDD/Lombardini, Case 580L, Cat D4C, JD 3032 tractor, JD 5410 tractor, Husky 346, 372 and 562XP's. Stihl MS180 and MS361, 1998 and 2006 3/4 Ton 5.9 Cummins 4x4's, 1989 Dodge D100 w/ 318, and a 1966 Chevy C60 w/ dump bed.

barbender

Big subjects we nearly always find an agreement. Trivial matters, almost never😂
Too many irons in the fire

Don P

Has the universe slipped?
You're wrong, admit it, say you're sorry and move on  :D

Southside

Franklin buncher and skidder
JD Processor
Woodmizer LT Super 70 and LT35 sawmill, KD250 kiln, BMS 250 sharpener and setter
Riehl Edger
Woodmaster 725 and 4000 planner and moulder
Enough cows to ensure there is no spare time.
White Oak Meadows

SawyerTed

"Winning" a discussion with the wife?  I'm sure that 98% of the unwinnable discussions at my house aren't really worth "winning." :o :D  So I don't really push too hard on them.  It isn't because that me "winning" puts me out of her good graces but more that the whole topic isn't worth the time and energy to spend much time discussing.  

The other 2% does create some serious debate.  

Here is an actual example of the 98% of the trivial unwinnable at our house.  We are watching a movie together. 
 
Wife, "She is pretty isn't she?" 
Wisened Ted, who has fallen in this trap before, in as noncommittal tone as possible, "umph"
Wife, "What's that mean?"
Wisened Ted seeing the unwinnable is about to occur, "I believe I will fix some popcorn.  Can I pause the movie?"
Usually the topic goes away.
Woodmizer LT50, WM BMS 250, WM BMT 250, Kubota MX5100, IH McCormick Farmall 140, Husqvarna 372XP, Husqvarna 455 Rancher

Tom King

One of the funniest commercials ever was with Abe Lincoln, and his Wife.  They were dressing in the bedroom, and she turned to him and asked. "Does this make my butt look big?"  To which he was only able to give a puzzled, and disturbing look.

JJ


Dan_Shade

Woodmizer LT40HDG25 / Stihl 066 alaskan
lots of dull bands and chains

There's a fine line between turning firewood into beautiful things and beautiful things into firewood.

Jeff

I can't believe I just watched 2 commercials so I could watch a commercial, but I do believe that the senior member of this discussion knows full well the answer to the question of which he posed. :)
Just call me the midget doctor.
Forestry Forum Founder and Chief Cook and Bottle Washer.

Commercial circle sawmill sawyer in a past life for 25yrs.
Ezekiel 22:30

SawyerTed

Poor ole Honest Abe!  He fell right into the trap!  

Warning words that the unwinnable is about to occur "Do you think (fill in the rest of the question)?  

Some times the trap is hidden, "She's pretty, isn't she?" That's just another way of asking "Do you think she's pretty?"  Warning Warning it is a trap!

They also know the old trick of turning the answer into a compliment is just a bunch of compost.  "Do these jeans make my butt look big?" "Aw Honey, you look great!"  or "You sure are pretty!"  Warning Warning this is the wrong way to handle it.  You are better off faking a terrible coughing spell and tell her you choked on your own spit.  

Then there's the "When did you buy _______?"  Tool, implement, fishing gear, rifle, etc etc  Warning Warning the unwinnable is about to occur.  Always Always have a little something stashed away to divert her attention.  Like "Hey Honey, I just remembered I have this very pretty ring/necklace/bracelet I picked up at an estate sale (code for pawn shop) and it is just for you!"

Oh and "Why did you _______?"  There is no answer to satisfy her depending upon the tone of the question.  See the choking on your own spit defense above.  Falling off a ladder works just as well as does swatting at an imaginary bee near her head.

Should any of these work for you, please let me know.  My success has been marginal as can be determined by examining the lumps on my head. :D
Woodmizer LT50, WM BMS 250, WM BMT 250, Kubota MX5100, IH McCormick Farmall 140, Husqvarna 372XP, Husqvarna 455 Rancher

Magicman

 

 
I just posted this reminder in another 'no-win' topic last week.  ::)
Knothole Sawmill, LLC     '98 Wood-Mizer LT40SuperHydraulic   WM Million BF Club Member   WM Pro Sawyer Network

It's Weird being the Same Age as Old People

Never allow your "need" to make money to exceed your "desire" to provide quality service.....The Magicman

terrifictimbersllc

You younger guys can maybe try this, she might not be onto it 
fred sanford heart attack
DJ Hoover, Terrific Timbers LLC,  Mystic CT Woodmizer Million Board Foot Club member. 2019 LT70 Super Wide 55 Yanmar,  LogRite fetching arch, WM BMS250 sharpener/BMT250 setter.  2001 F350 7.3L PSD 6 spd manual ZF 4x4 Crew Cab Long Bed

Nebraska

I never wonder why Dad forgets to put his "ears" (hearing aids) on any more. ;)

snobdds

My problem was I didn't listen.  Shocking.   She and I met because we both loved to snowboard and she was good at it. We still have that bond.  However she always wanted to go hunting with me.  In my circle, woman didn't hunt.  They went shopping.  It was hard for me to give in and take her hunting. It caused a lot of arguing those early years.  So I conceded and took her.  Well, she's better at it than me.  Now I can't go without taking her with me.  That is one reason I built a cabin, she didn't really like the canvas wall tent hunting...but cabin hunting she is down for. 





 


 



mike_belben

the correct answer to "is she pretty"  is "ehh.. shes okay but too skinny/young etc for me"  
Praise The Lord

WV Sawmiller

   Good response. Another is "Is she pretty? Yes, but she isn't smart enough to do half of what you do."
Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2011 4WD F150 Ford Lariat PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Stihl 440 Chainsaw, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once

thecfarm

Model 6020-20hp Manual Thomas bandsaw,TC40A 4wd 40 hp New Holland tractor, 450 Norse Winch, Heatmor 400 OWB,YCC 1978-79

Southside

WV with that response in mind has it ever occurred to you that perhaps all those African coup attempts, snakes on a plane, and falling sawmill heads might not have been accidents after all?  Rather cleverly designed life insurance claim attempts?  :D
Franklin buncher and skidder
JD Processor
Woodmizer LT Super 70 and LT35 sawmill, KD250 kiln, BMS 250 sharpener and setter
Riehl Edger
Woodmaster 725 and 4000 planner and moulder
Enough cows to ensure there is no spare time.
White Oak Meadows

WV Sawmiller

Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2011 4WD F150 Ford Lariat PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Stihl 440 Chainsaw, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once

21incher

Never ever ever ever ever say I told you so a week after letting  her win an argument and having  events prove that you were really right smiley_ignore smiley_argue01 smiley_furious3
Hudson HFE-21 on a custom trailer, Deere 4100, Kubota BX 2360, Echo CS590 & CS310, home built wood splitter, home built log arch, a logrite cant hook and a bread machine. And a Kubota Sidekick with a Defective Subaru motor.

Old Greenhorn

In April it will be 45 years for us. When we hit 20 I started saying "If I had shot her when I wanted to, I would be out by now". at around 30 years I started to realize she could be saying the same thing and I wouldn't blame her.
 The truth (for us) is that as time goes by you just accept the stuff you can't change and keep your eye on the big picture. Over time that becomes more clear and easier to do. Yes, once folks hit a 'certain age' the 'develop' new ' things' to disturb their spouses. My wife now argues with the TV, especially 'reality' and home improvement  shows. I just let it go and let her enjoy her argument.

 Howard,  next time you have an unfortunate ATV accident perhaps you should consider forensic analysis to check the steering and brakes. Just sayin'
Tom Lindtveit, Woodsman Forest Products
Oscar 328 Band Mill, Husky 350, 450, 562, & 372 (Clone), Mule 3010, and too many hand tools. :) Retired and trying to make a living to stay that way. NYLT Certified.
OK, maybe I'm the woodcutter now.
I work with wood, There is a rumor I might be a woodworker.

WV Sawmiller

   She knows nobody else would put up with her and she knows she has had a more interesting and adventurous life with me than she could have had with anyone else. She likes seeing new things and places and meeting new people. When I was in the USMC after we'd been on station a couple of years she tell me "You need to call you assignment monitor. We need to go see some place new." I'd tell her "But I like it here." then I'd go call my monitor. ::)

  I can't say too much bad about her because she has put up with a lot raising the kids alone while I was off in a foreign assignment and sometimes they were in war zones or close enough most people would not know the difference. She has bought homes and vehicles and such on her own and is not real tolerant of or real impressed with some of her friends worry about insignificant things like a washing machine or car breaking down or such. She'd tell them "Fix it or go buy another one."

  She called me one time while I was in Africa and broke down crying on the phone and scared me to death thinking something had happened to one of the kids or such. Finally she calmed down enough to tell me the car motor was shot. I got mad and told her "Don't you ever call me and scare me like that over property damage. If you're not calling to tell me our son has dropped out of school and joined a heavy metal rock band and our daughter is dating the drummer, its not worth crying over." She laughed and got things in perspective after that.

  I did tell her the first time we went shopping after we got married and she slowed down and picked up a pack of canned biscuits and a TV dinner "Don't even think about it." and in over 44 years she has not fed me either.  

  You have to train them right from the start!
Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2011 4WD F150 Ford Lariat PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Stihl 440 Chainsaw, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once

snobdds

Quote from: WV Sawmiller on January 11, 2022, 08:23:39 PMI did tell her the first time we went shopping after we got married and she slowed down and picked up a pack of canned biscuits and a TV dinner "Don't even think about it." and in over 44 years she has not fed me either.     You have to train them right from the start!


I love my wife, but she can't cook to save her life.  She can survive on peanut butter toast and grapes. 

Subsequently, I too can survive on peanut butter and grapes. 

Bruno of NH

I learned after a divorce 
That I wasn't arguing with anyone any more.
I feel much better
Now I just go yup,yup,yup 
Sheila' s Dad would get a big kick out of it.
I'm just lucky to have someone who can stand me . :D
Lt 40 wide with 38hp gas and command controls , F350 4x4 dump and lot of contracting tools

mike_belben

the lord gave me a woman just as stubborn and pig headed as me.  two alphas designed to tell the other one the things they dont like to hear.  wed make a good sitcom, filing and grinding each other into a good team over the years. 
Praise The Lord

aigheadish

I was the opposite of Bruno above. 

I'm a lover, not a fighter and with my first wife I was mostly a pushover. I didn't care to argue about things or speak my mind much. We could both be a bit stubborn and non-communicative. Then we got a divorce. 

I quickly learned, upon dating new women (my first wife was my first real relationship too), that I had my own set of needs and it didn't do me, or the women I was dating, any good to not speak my piece. I'm pretty gentle with my words so it was rarely any kind of big fight but I let my intentions, likes, and dislikes be known.

Then I got lucky and met my wife. She and I typically only argue over when Thanksgiving dinner will be ready for the family and a few other minor things, that don't really matter. She gets a little frustrated at my kids' work ethic, but we're working on that and I'm to blame for it anyway. She can outwork anyone I know, is sweet, and funny, and smart in lots of ways I'm not. It's beautiful. 
New Holland LB75b, Husqvarna 455 Rancher, Husqvarna GTH52XLS, Hammerhead 250, Honda VTX1300 for now and probably for sale (let me know if you are interested!)

Peter Drouin

When you lose them to cancer, You will know 100% of their worth. :(
A&P saw Mill LLC.
45' of Wood Mizer, cutting since 1987.
License NH softwood grader.

mike_belben

 :(  i hope to not find out, but some days lately it feels like thats the way im gonna get taught my lesson on taking her for granted. i pray about it all the time. 
Praise The Lord

SawyerTed

You know my previous posts were meant to be humorous and silly.  Emily and I get along very well and she's not really like my previous posts unless she's picking at me.  I reckon that I lay my share of traps for her as well all in fun. 

Once when we stopped at a country store for gas, she went in and picked up some snacks.  When she came out she remarked that country stores seem to arrange things in somewhat random ways.  Once example she gave was the condoms and the rubber washers for garden hoses were hanging next to each other.  I told her they were made of similar stuff so maybe in someone's mind it was appropriate. We chuckled about that.  Then in she went on at a little higher pitch that the fatback and the fishing worms were on different shelves in the same cooler.  It came out of my mouth before I could stop it, "That fatback won't hurt the worms!"  :D :D She obviously was thinking the other way around.  We laughed for a good minute over that.  Still do from time to time.  

We've made it nearly 38 years and I believe we get along better than most couples our age. It has taken that much time to really focus on what's important and let go of what isn't important.  I'd still rather go fishing with her than anybody even if I do have to bait her hook (with worms, not fatback). :D
Woodmizer LT50, WM BMS 250, WM BMT 250, Kubota MX5100, IH McCormick Farmall 140, Husqvarna 372XP, Husqvarna 455 Rancher

Ed_K

 I've known my wife since I was 7 and kissed her the first time at 8. Oct will be 45 yrs and for the last 10 yrs we've had 3 real fights. One involved me not caring I had cancer and might die on her. But mostly we are so tuned into each other that when something come up as ain't she pretty we both say it at the same time. I do like to hear her yell at the tv tho.
Ed K

SawyerTed

One true fact, it is difficult for her to start an argument if you are vacuuming....
Woodmizer LT50, WM BMS 250, WM BMT 250, Kubota MX5100, IH McCormick Farmall 140, Husqvarna 372XP, Husqvarna 455 Rancher

Southside

WV - your wifes call reminds me of the time my wife was brutally attacked off our back porch.  I was north of the house and heard her scream, and I mean screaming for me on the south side of the house.  Clearly, something, or someone, was attacking her, and she only had moments to live.  The shortest distances between two points is a straight line so I go through the front screen door, grab a 12GA shotgun on the way by, run through the house due south toward the back door and was about to shoulder the back screen door open with the gun at the high ready, old entry habits die hard when you run point, when she yells "I am here" - meaning the laundry room that I just ran through and was about to break the door down exiting.  I look over and she is just standing there - no blood, no messed up hair, no attacker to be seen.  The cause of all the excitement?  A black snake had managed to get into the laundry room and found its way into a mouse trap, so it was rolling around and thrashing.  Now my wife will simply pick up a black snake if it's in the chicken coop and relocate it to the woods, and she will toss a mouse out of a trap and let the chickens eat it (yes they do that better than cats), so the thought of a critter causing her to scream to the point of breaking glass never crossed my mind.  I fully expected to find a rabid coyote or prison escapee on top of her.  We had a discussion about not mixing over-reactions and PTSD in the future after that.   
Franklin buncher and skidder
JD Processor
Woodmizer LT Super 70 and LT35 sawmill, KD250 kiln, BMS 250 sharpener and setter
Riehl Edger
Woodmaster 725 and 4000 planner and moulder
Enough cows to ensure there is no spare time.
White Oak Meadows

mike_belben

Quote from: SawyerTed on January 13, 2022, 01:21:25 PM
One true fact, it is difficult for her to start an argument if you are vacuuming....
Mine has a plaque that says 'no husband has ever been shot while washing the dishes.' 
Its held true so far but I have done quit a few batches at gunpoint.  
Praise The Lord

WV Sawmiller

SS,

 I had a similar heart stopping scream from my wife about 6 months ago. I was upstairs and heard her in the basement. I am pretty sure the neighbors must have heard her too. I rushed down to find a bat flying around the utility room. Evidently it came out of our son's old room that she has converted into her quilting room including a 120" wide quilting frame her Bernina long arms sewing machines fit on. When she opened the door the bat buzzed her on his way out. When I got to the bottom of the stairs she started handing me bath towels and brooms and making suggestions on how to catch or kill it. Meanwhile it flew back into our son's old bedroom so I calmly closed the door limiting to that one room and ignored it as I got closely buzzed a couple of times while I opened the window. The bat flew by on his circuit, saw the open window and flew out. Problem solved. I closed the window and went back upstairs.

 Someone in the household needs to remain calm no matter what the circumstances. ;D
Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2011 4WD F150 Ford Lariat PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Stihl 440 Chainsaw, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once

mike_belben

It takes exactly one wasp, hornet or junebug for my wife to make a new door through the wall. It was funny at first but has worn off. 

Praise The Lord

WV Sawmiller

  Same thing here with a spider. 

Q: How much courage does it take for a woman to step on a spider?

A: We'll never know as it ain't gonna happen.
Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2011 4WD F150 Ford Lariat PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Stihl 440 Chainsaw, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once

Southside

If it's a black widow my wife will smoosh them no questions asked.  
Franklin buncher and skidder
JD Processor
Woodmizer LT Super 70 and LT35 sawmill, KD250 kiln, BMS 250 sharpener and setter
Riehl Edger
Woodmaster 725 and 4000 planner and moulder
Enough cows to ensure there is no spare time.
White Oak Meadows

WV Sawmiller

   I have watched my wife place her camera within 2' of a 20'+ Anaconda in the Amazon jungle so she could get pictures of it's tongue flicking in and out then have a screaming fit when she walked into a spider web along the trail or a moth would fly into her hair in the tent.

 Then there was that time a huge roach jumped out from under the placemat at our dinner table in Ecuador and jumped down the front of her shirt and started running laps in there and... Oh, I probably should not mention too much more about that. Fortunately the local tribes in that part of the Amazon are still unconcerned about nudity even though they aren't used to seeing the outsiders/guests get into the swing of things so quickly.

EDIT: I checked my journal and the jumping roach was on 18 Dec 2008 at the Samona Lodge. And while the staff were not particularly alarmed the other guests were pretty surprised. :D :D
Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2011 4WD F150 Ford Lariat PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Stihl 440 Chainsaw, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once

mike_belben

ive seen some surprising things at the roach motel but not the roach diner. interesting. 
Praise The Lord

Southside

Guess that's the Ecuador version of the Mississippi Squirrel Revival.   :D
Franklin buncher and skidder
JD Processor
Woodmizer LT Super 70 and LT35 sawmill, KD250 kiln, BMS 250 sharpener and setter
Riehl Edger
Woodmaster 725 and 4000 planner and moulder
Enough cows to ensure there is no spare time.
White Oak Meadows

GAB

Quote from: WV Sawmiller on January 13, 2022, 10:25:27 PM
  I have watched my wife place her camera within 2' of a 20'+ Anaconda in the Amazon jungle so she could get pictures of it's tongue flicking in and out then have a screaming fit when she walked into a spider web along the trail or a moth would fly into her hair in the tent.

Then there was that time a huge roach jumped out from under the placemat at our dinner table in Ecuador and jumped down the front of her shirt and started running laps in there and... Oh, I probably should not mention too much more about that. Fortunately the local tribes in that part of the Amazon are still unconcerned about nudity even though they aren't used to seeing the outsiders/guests get into the swing of things so quickly.

EDIT: I checked my journal and the jumping roach was on 18 Dec 2008 at the Samona Lodge. And while the staff were not particularly alarmed the other guests were pretty surprised. :D :D
Mr. Green:
Are you insinuating that your spouse did a whole year's worth of cardio exercises in a very short time?
GAB
W-M LT40HDD34, SLR, JD 420, JD 950w/loader and Woods backhoe, V3507 Fransguard winch, Cordwood Saw, 18' flat bed trailer, and other toys.

WV Sawmiller

SS,

   She had already done her squirrel revival thing in WV when she opened the screen door, hit Ugly, the cat as she was carrying a chipmunk. Ugly dropped the chipmunk and it ran up her pants legs and she was making moves I had not seen before. Unfortunately she finally stepped on pore Alvin and he did not survive the encounter.

Gerald,

  She probably did and probably the folks watching got their share of cardio workout too. I know I did.

   Then there was the time the bat swooped by her ear in a remote lodge in northern Thailand and crashed into the floor and knocked himself out chasing a moth. We left him there but a moth flew into her hair a few minutes later and she said "That's it. I'm done." and went and got in bed under the mosquito net. I did not get much sleep that night as every 30 minutes she was up shining the light on the net which quickly became covered in bugs.

   When we got up the next morning the bat was gone. I don't know if he woke up and flew off during the night or a cobra came and ate him.

(Journal says approximately 8:00 pm 21 June 2011 for this one near Chiangmai Thailand)
Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2011 4WD F150 Ford Lariat PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Stihl 440 Chainsaw, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once

petefrom bearswamp

When we had our house in Florida, one night the wifey woke me with several blood curdling screams.
Never heard her yell so loud.
I got the light on and a little frog jumped out of the covers and disappeared before I could catch it
Of course I was told no further rest until the critter was caught.
Our bedroom door was shut so it was limited to the BR and adjoining bathroom.
Found it on the wall of the Bathroom,caught it in a towel and liberated it into our front yard.
I went right back to sleep but she was alert all the rest of the night.
Looked it up in he morning and it was a Cuban tree frog, an invasive species.
Kubota 8540 tractor, FEL bucket and forks, Farmi winch
Kubota 900 RTV
Polaris 570 Sportsman ATV
3 Huskies 1 gas Echo 1 cordless Echo vintage Homelite super xl12
57 acres of woodland

SawyerTed

I am apt to go to bed early compared to my wife.  The first year we lived in our house I was working full time as a teacher and coming home and working on the house and doing farm work (cow-calf and tobacco).  

One night I ran completely out of gas and went to bed early.  Em was watching a vampire movie.  It was fall and pleasantly cool so we had windows open with screens  in. 

I had spent the afternoon installing screens. Little did I know one in our bedroom window screens wasn't latched quite right. 

As I fell asleep the screen fell out.  I caught a bit of motion across the bedroom.  It was then I heard the only blood curdling scream I've ever heard Emily make.  

A bat had flown through the open window and into the living room.  Apparently the  ceiling fan had it confused so it was flying round and round the living room.  

I had vaulted out of bed to find Emily had gone upstairs and closed our daughter and herself in the nursery. 

I did the only thing I could think of, I got the broom trying to knock the thing out of the air.

There I was in my underwear swinging a broom at a bat in the living room.  Emily came out of the upstairs bedroom to watch.  

She laughed and laughed at the spectacle.   I have to admit it's doggone hard to swat a bat , they "see" it coming.  😝 
Woodmizer LT50, WM BMS 250, WM BMT 250, Kubota MX5100, IH McCormick Farmall 140, Husqvarna 372XP, Husqvarna 455 Rancher

red

Honor the Fallen Thank the Living

WV Sawmiller

   Reminds me of a co-worker telling the tale about having to get up in the middle of the night to take Pedro, their Chihuahua, out to go potty. He said he slept naked and did not bother to grab a robe or gym shorts or such. He let Pedro out then when he was finished marking his territory and such, picked him up and as he entered the kitchen, his teenage daughter walked in and  turned on the lights and there he was stark naked and trying to protect his modesty with a Chihuahua. I don't know who was more shocked - him, Pedro or the daughter. I always wondered if the daughter thought her dad was a pervert or something. ::)
Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2011 4WD F150 Ford Lariat PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Stihl 440 Chainsaw, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once

Ed_K

 Rita's like y'all's wives, only it's snakes. As for bats you'll hear me hollering for her to come get it.
Ed K

samandothers

The stories of snakes and mice hit close to home.  Since 07 to last spring when we'd visit our land in Va we stayed in a camper.  It was rustic using a generator and get water from a spring with woods and fields nearby.  We'd have lots of mice and the occasional snake.  

While not an anaconda my wife tried to grab a black snake in the camper as it started to high tail it to a hole in the toe kick of a cabinet.  She caught its tail about the time it had started through the hole.  It was a brief tug of war and she let go fearing she'd damage the snake.  She desired to have it in the camper more than mice.  Several times there would be an exclamation of surprise when a mouse would make and unexpected entry to the living quarters.  Though not blood curdling it would usually cause me to jump and have a shot of adrenalin.  Usually, this was proceeded by me setting up several mouse traps with peanut butter to attempt to dispatch the offending rodent(s).  

Spiders she will not deal with unless by rendering them immobile by hairspray or other spray product/insecticide.  Again, the spiders fall in my purview to deal with.  She is pretty fearless, and I try to stay on her good side.  I have read her some of these stories and she gets a kick out of them, and I think can identify with some of the ladies.  

Don P

If your spouse gently nudges you awake and asks if you'll shoot the deer outside... take a moment to wake up. Getting dressed is never a bad idea. Alert and steady is good, otherwise, branches and briars not so much, in the snow with nothing between oneself and ones maker but a pair of BVD's and bunny slippers.

beenthere

Quote from: Don P on January 15, 2022, 06:02:59 PM
If your spouse gently nudges you awake and asks if you'll shoot the deer outside... take a moment to wake up. Getting dressed is never a bad idea. Alert and steady is good, otherwise, branches and briars not so much, in the snow with nothing between oneself and ones maker but a pair of BVD's and bunny slippers.
BTDT
But no slippers (bare feet), 3" of snow, but orange sweatshirt. 
Just came out of the shower, and saw the nice rack above the tall grass in the field across the fence. Got close enough for a 25yd shot with slug gun. 
south central Wisconsin
It may be that my sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others

SawyerTed

Came home from a 3day conference.  Dragged my suitcase and trappings in the house.  Wife says there are deer in the back yard. I'm wearing a button down shirt, necktie, slacks and wingtip shoes. 

I look out the back window.  Yep!  Sure enough there's are eight deer licking the salt from the aster softener back wash.  

It is bow season, i sneak out the basement door with the X bow,  I picked the biggest doe and launched an arrow/bolt 
Woodmizer LT50, WM BMS 250, WM BMT 250, Kubota MX5100, IH McCormick Farmall 140, Husqvarna 372XP, Husqvarna 455 Rancher

Corley5

Ya all sneak out of the house?  We open a window ;) ;D :)
Burnt Gunpowder is the Smell Of Freedom

Corley5

Stick the gun barrel out.  Otherwise, the concussion can break seals in thermo-pane windows  ;D
Burnt Gunpowder is the Smell Of Freedom

Old Greenhorn

Quote from: Corley5 on January 15, 2022, 08:21:42 PM
Stick the gun barrel out.  Otherwise, the concussion can break seals in thermo-pane windows  ;D
And you know this because.. oh, Nevermind ;D.
Tom Lindtveit, Woodsman Forest Products
Oscar 328 Band Mill, Husky 350, 450, 562, & 372 (Clone), Mule 3010, and too many hand tools. :) Retired and trying to make a living to stay that way. NYLT Certified.
OK, maybe I'm the woodcutter now.
I work with wood, There is a rumor I might be a woodworker.

farmfromkansas

Think my wife has been with me for 48 years so far.  Amazing how my daughter and one of my granddaughters seem to be about half me and half her.  And I like them both.  They are really good with little kids.  And my daughter's patients or clients, whatever you call them, she is a respiratory therapist, anyway seems they all love her. One guy I met at a ball game, said she saved his life. And my granddaughters are the prettiest girls I have ever seen! Oh, and my DIL calls my 5 yo grandson my mini-me. The next older one looks like my wife.  Wish they lived close by, would be interesting to see what I was like as a kid. When they were home for Christmas, they played wide open every day.  The 2 older boys went to chore with me each one time. Little one said"I changed my mind."
Most everything I enjoy doing turns out to be work

Old Greenhorn

Those last few posts brought to mind a story I haven' remembered for years. My Dad, BIL and I used to hunt on private land up in the hill west of where I live now. The landowner was a serious hunter and he would tell us his  hunting plan for the day the night before we all went out so that we would stay away from hi hunting area. He was more of a 'long hunter'. He would leave his cabin at 3 or 4am and hike up the mountain with a sleeping bag and another pair of winter boots. He' find his spot and change boots and crawl into the bag until dawn, then change back and start hunting. He always took the high ground way up on the mountain and we would take the low ground figuring we might push something up in his path. By 2pm he would usually quit and we might hear the skidder coming through the woods to pull firewood trees.

 Anyway, this one time we had that plan outlined above and he left the cabin at 3am. We came in at about dawn and started walking up the mountain and still hunting. We all hunted that day as hard as we could, no joy. SO we all wafted down toward his cabin and stopped in for a chat as id proper etiquette to report our observations. Well when we arrived at his family cabin we saw a very large 10 pint buck hanging on the rack. I figured our host had shot it, but no, he wasn't back yet. Turns out, just after sunup when our host and the rest of us were carefully creeping through the woods all over the mountain, his wife wad going out to hang laundry and saw the buck in the yard, so she grabbed her rifle and shot it. No big deal, but she didn't get all the laundry done that day.
Tom Lindtveit, Woodsman Forest Products
Oscar 328 Band Mill, Husky 350, 450, 562, & 372 (Clone), Mule 3010, and too many hand tools. :) Retired and trying to make a living to stay that way. NYLT Certified.
OK, maybe I'm the woodcutter now.
I work with wood, There is a rumor I might be a woodworker.

WV Sawmiller

   We have a neighbor with a little wife about half the size of the whittled off end of nothing. She looked out her window a couple months ago during our rifle season and saw a big buck so she told her husband - "There's a buck out here." He told her to go ahead and shoot it and she did. It was a very large 12 pt.
Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2011 4WD F150 Ford Lariat PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Stihl 440 Chainsaw, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once

Texas Ranger

We were newlyweds and had moved into an older frame house that had been modernized by new wiring, electrical, and appliances, but still an old house on blocks.  My wife taught and I worked for the forest service, I was usually tired before she wore out, and went to bed before her.  As was the case with newlyweds bedding attire was optional. I had been asleep for an unknown period when I heard a scream.  Jumped out of bed and went down the hallway to the bathroom, my sweet wife was standing on the lid of the commode in all her glory and announced there was a snake in the hallway. I went back and put my boots on, picked up a yard stick, turned all lights on and search the rooms off the hallway, and found no snake.  I had told my wife that she was lucky the lid was down on the commode and received a scathing look and a short comment on my heritage.  I went back to bed.  Not for long, as I woke up with a naked amazon straddling my chest, shaking me, and saying words that sounded like "Wake up you SOB I found the snake", but I could have been mistaken.  Again, the boots and yard stick and she pointed to the closet where a clothes basket held the snake, which I dispatched, and we ended the evening.

But it was not the end.  I spent the next few days finding and sealing all openings that would allow a snake entrance into the house, and there were many of them.
The Ranger, home of Texas Forestry

Thank You Sponsors!