War with my sister at deer camp.

[Jeff]

Okay, for some reason Lynda was trying to write a poem for the day before deer season to post on facebook. She asked for a rhyme, I made some suggestions, and then she told me You just write your own and I.ll write my own.
So. I DID! 

Twas the night before deer season on North Caribou
My sister sought rhymes for a poem for you.
What rhymes with "our cabin"? I can't find a word!
Nothing I said, just loud enough to be heard
Use words like the U.P. or north of the bridge
And with that I got up and made my way to the fridge.

Into the kitchen from the brown chair I climbed
into the kitchen still thinking of possible rhymes
I saw pickled baloney and cup cakes galore
candy and cookies, Little Debbie's and more

You see time at the cabin, is more than the chasing of deer
Its about the eating of food and an occasional beer
But this year it seems, that we found something new
to try to write poems and find words while we chew.

This was not my idea to spend the evening this way
I'm supposed to be getting ready for opening day
But when she said "Ill just write mine" and you just write Yours,
It sounded like a challenge, perhaps a poetry war
So if tomorrow shooting a deer just doesn't happen
Its all because I was still busy finding a rhyme for our cabin.

[Jeff]

Lynda finished her's I think its  good, but I'l never admit defeat!

It's the night before deer hunting and all thru the North,
All the deer are a runnin' not giving a snort,
They looked at their calendar, saw November 15th,
They ate all the sugar beets on the ground by their feet,
They ate and they ate till their bellly's are swollen
For they know that tomorrow the hunters are commin'
I trudge out to my deer blind in boots much too big
Avoiding the sink holes and not stepping on twigs
I get to the deer blind, lots of steps to the top
My boots are so big they go flip flop flip flop!
I'm trying to be quiet, I'm doing my best
but my flashlight I drop as I unhook the latch
I open the door, wouldn't ya know it's a creakin'
I sit into my chair and yup it's a squeakin'
By this time it's daybreak and the Buck I'm a seekin'
Is long out of the county only his tail I can see
But I have a Mister Heater and a Chocolate Covered Twinkie!

[thecfarm]

You guys better get some sleep.   ;D  Not bad. By the way, what happened to "our cabin"?

[beenthere]

Good luck huntin' tomorrow.
You'll have rhymin' on the brain tonight.

[WDH]

May visions of big bucks dance in your head tonight.

[clww]

Both good reading. Good luck to you both. Saw video on the news tonight showing the Northern Light up there in MI. See them there at the cabin?

[Jeff]

We did, but they were nothing like they were sohwing on the news. Here is was just a big green glow in the north. No disco dancing from our view.

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

PICKLED BOLOGNA?  say_what

[WmFritz]

I was outside enjoying the sky an hour ago ( in Wolverine). Didn't see the lights but, the Milky Way was bright as can be.  Be safe and happy hunting everybody... nice poems too  :D

[Jeff]

PICKLED BOLOGNA?  say_what

Yes indeed! A North woods staple!


 

[doctorb]

Jeff-

Do I have to dredge up that you've previously lost a poetry war on the Forum? ;D

https://forestryforum.com/board/index.php/topic,56533.msg827488.html#msg827488

On a cold eve Jeff the poet did write,
While trying with all of his might,
But he just dreamed of deer,
Who had little to fear,
As they rutted just out of his sight.

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

Nice Poems.
But if I ever get a chance to try PICKLED BOLOGNA.....I will, I love it fried and I love anything pickled. I have just never heard of Bologna pickled.  :-\ I can see me liking it! 

[Jeff]

Oh I remember dear Doctor of bone
When you matched wit with prose of your own
You should gather your memory
How with mine they all cheered me
When yours were just met with a moan

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

How with mine they all cheered me
When yours were just met with a moan

:D :D :D

[WH_Conley]

Pickled bologna, boiled eggs and beer. Don't have to worry too much about people getting too close in camp. Seems as we don't see too many deer when camping either. :(

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

Pickled bologna, boiled eggs and beer. Don't have to worry too much about people getting too close in camp. Seems as we don't see too many deer when camping either. :(

"Blazing Saddles"?  :D

[doctorb]

Now my memory's really quite clear,
And yours must be clouded with deer,
So don't go supposin'
As you sit there composin'
That your poetry's best of the year.

[Jeff]

Limericks I can write and still hunt cause I've tried
Staying watchful and making rhymes as I hide.
But the rhyming physician
Ignored his patients  conditions
So because of a poem they died

[Texas Ranger]

There was a young man from Harrison
Whose prose was quite embarrison
But he continued his posts
For as a host
His input was quite brazen

[doctorb]

Hunters are braggers, if your asking,
Just sittin' and thinkin' and "flasking"!
While waiting to shoot,
Textin' poems to boot,
Jeff's perfected his hunt multi-tasking.

[doctorb]

There once was a man from the UP.
Spent his day hunting up in a tree.
He's fogged by cyberspace
And fell down in disgrace
Landing on a buck that got up and ran free.

[doctorb]

A camouflaged man in a tree stand,
Wanted bucks walking by as he planned,
But none wound up dead,
He wrote poems instead,
Having way too much time on his hands.

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

A camouflaged man in a tree stand,
Wanted bucks walking by as he planned,
But none wound up dead,
He wrote poems instead,
Having way too much time on his hands.

:D :D :D This one's tough Jeff. We're waiting.......

[clww]

All you need to go with that pickled bologna is some hot, fresh grits! Yes, I said it!  :D :D :D

[doctorb]

It appears that I have drubbed him into submission, which, for all of us, is probably a good thing.

[Jeff]

You and the watching for deer have drubbed me into a screamin headache. There will be no more limericking by phone by me for awhile.

[doctorb]

OK.  Sorry about your headache.  I will not, however, take the blame for it!  I am very happy to call a limerick truce, however.  Both warriors slowly moved away, bloodied...... ;)

[Jeff]

I deleted my last poem cause on reflection it seemed to be just mean spirited. It was not meant to be.

[grweldon]

PICKLED BOLOGNA?  say_what

Them's good eatin'!

[WDH]

So, is all the head-butting over for a while now  ??? :D.

[Jeff]

HEY! They started it Danny!  ;)

[Jeff]

I got the clearance to put it back. ;D

Ganging up on me is hardly fair,
But I take your challenge like I'll take a dare
Though my thinking is slower
I guess I'll stoop lower
At least I have testies, At least I have hair


HOORAH

[doctorb]

Is this like the Middle East?  Somebody calls a truce and ten seconds later a bomb goes off!  OK...

So Jeff's gone from grumpy to feisty,
He used to be so cuddly and nicety,
But this too shall pass,
As he flattens his azz,
'Cause the bucks he can't seem to enticety.

[Jeff]

How can you call truce, and still say you won?
It can not be over til we both say its done
Clearly you've weakened. Its plain to see
When you start making up words like " enticety"
Now we all know you are just about done.

[Texas Ranger]

From Harrison came a dude
Who, not really being rude,
Wrote limericks quite crude,
Not really malevolent,
But not quite benevolent,
Just deer lonely equivalent.

[doctorb]

I am about to pick up my youngest daughter, who is returning from college today.  I have not clearly "weakened", as you seem to celebrate yourself by yourself.  I must say, dear runner-up, that it was you who needed the olive branch yesterday, and now I get slapped with it!  If only I could find that trigger point for that headache!

As for "enticety", limericks are meant to be funny and often play on words, using them is made up ways.  Sorry it went over your head.  For example:  How's about this famous limerick ......

What a wonderful bird is the pelican,
His beak can hold more than his belly can.
He can keep in his beak
Enough food for a week,
But I'll be damned if I see how the he!! he can.


So, while I'll get back to you with a limerick in the near future, may I critique your last sorry efforts in stating that:
1.  You have totally lost the limerick cadence and rhythm.  You would fail an English assignment on writing a limerick with that!
2.  Testes has no 'I".  It does, however, have a "wee", which is silent.  The "wee" refers to two separate but related matters.  "Wee" as in urination, and "we" as in more than one of something.  You may be unaware that "testes" is plural, as they usually come in pairs. You might look it up, as apparently you are misinformed when you look down! ;D :D

[Jeff]

I broke him. I win!  8) 8) 8)
The cadence is only broken if you broke it.
Its perfectly rhythmic as I spoke it
Its not my fault if you stuttered
My limerick you muttered
So please step down from that poetry pulpit.

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

 :D :D :D :D :D :D Ya'll are making me bust a gut now  :D :D :D :D :D :D :

These are some good ones.......keep it up!  :D

[Jeff]

Doctorb, as for your number two, I'd like to now cover it. (so to speak)

I feel I need an introductory word, and for that i choose wow. Simple use of two letters,

Wow,

When my limerick rhythm got technical,
We were hit with a lecture on "testicle"
But I pee on your scheme
With a good healthy stream
As I have no fear of terms medical


P.S., Its Texas Ranger who has lost all limerick format.  ;)

[Shotgun]

Just for the record, it should be noted that true limerick format is 5 lines.  Even with 6 lines, they're still entertaining.  If you're eyeing the trophy, though, you'd best stick with 5 lines.

Norm       :D

[Jeff]

All of my Limericks are the correct 5 line format. The last one just had an introductory word of preparatory exclamation, not part of the ensuing poem. 

[Texas Ranger]

So, a revision


Jeff, not really being rude,
Wrote limericks quite crude,
Not really malevolent,
But not quite benevolent,
Just deer lonely equivalent

Still works.

[Jeff]

Still wrong. Keep trying.

Limerick format

First two lines rhyme with each other
Then lines 3 and 4 rhyme each other
Then line 5 must rhyme with lines one and two.

[Texas Ranger]

The doctor and dude
still being crude
wrote of  the testicle
a subject non respectable
that some would call rude

[Texas Ranger]

Keep making up those rules
we all need proper tools
where distance seperates
these reprobates
we still play the fools

[WDH]

What a pair  :D :D.

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

Jeff, now is when you need that "Rap App" you used some time back. Just record your poem on the app and you're the winner. 

[doctorb]

All of my Limericks are the correct 5 line format. The last one just had an introductory word of preparatory exclamation, not part of the ensuing poem. 

Maybe you ought to expand your understanding of a limerick, or at least the classic limerick.  Limerick format is more than the AABBA rhyming scheme.  Even Wikipedias knows this.....

"However, from a rhythmic point of view, lines 1, 2 and 5 have a silent accent at the end, making 4 accents per line. Lines 3 and 4 combined also have 4 accents, making four lines with an overall total of 16 accents (i.e. foot tapping "beats" ). Reading, or reciting, naturally follows the rhythm of 6/8 time, making eight bars of two triplets per bar. A triplet represents a "foot" of 3 syllables."

i.e. - there's only one way to read "There once was a man from Kentucky...", with the emphasis on "once", "man", and "tuck".  I know you get this.

Many of your recent efforts are not even close to the correct form.  Keep making up the rules to suit yourself.  I'll let you know when I'm broken.  For example, here's a poem in the correct limerick format.


Although Jeff's the creator of our Forum,
His limericks did nothing but bore 'em.
While his rhyming was fine,
His rhythm's out of time,
And in arguing, he lost all decorum.

When my limerick rhythm got technical,
We were hit with a lecture on "testicle"
But I pee on your scheme
With a good healthy stream
As I have no fear of terms medical

Now, that one is pretty good, I must admit.  One of your better submisions.  But this....

How can you call truce, and still say you won?
It can not be over til we both say its done
Clearly you've weakened. Its plain to see
When you start making up words like " enticety"
Now we all know you are just about done.

....is not worthy of submission, as it's not even recognizable as a limerick.  Don't deflate yourself when you pin the second place medal on your puffed out chest!  That hissing sound might scare away the deer!

[doctorb]

Final answer?


If I grabbed at his head I'd have squeezed it,
To attack his long beard I'd have teased it.
It's not personal, my friend
This poem war is at end,
As my competitive edge, I have pleased it.

[doctorb]

The sun came up bright and quite warming,
With not a poem to read that's alarming.
The deer are still rutting
While Jeff's "but, but, butting....."
He should trade in his hunting for farming.

[Jeff]

I say that this war is about closed
Because you fought without prose
you are no longer in it
However you spin it
Because the lack of your verses just BLOWS!

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

And they shook hands, raised their flags and rode their separate ways without a shot being fired. 

[doctorb]

I am pretty good at walkin' away.  It's saved my butt a few times.  But nobody said nothin' about shaken' hands!  Jeff and I both know this is gonna come up again.  We could be worse than the Middle East!  Maybe next time......sonnets?

[Jeff]

There once was a man from the mltten
Who didn't' know nothin bout quitten
But his opponent was willin
for them both to start chillin
Someday they'll return for some outwitten

[doctorb]

 :D ;D :D

[Den Socling]

I for one don't want to see this end!  :D

[Jeff]

Ah man, you should see the ones we can't post. :D ;)

[doctorb]

Then again, maybe they shouldn't, :D :D

[Magicman]

Poor Lynda got left behind in a cloud of dust.   :

[Jeff]

She just said that she's thrilled about it. Well, that ain't exactly what he said, but that's all I'm saying.

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

Some of these threads are really comical. It reminds me of a game we played in grammer school where we would start a secret and by the time the secret was whispered in 30 ears....the last person was hearing nothing like what the first person heard.  :D

[Texas Ranger]

Ambush

They say it is true
Our Jeff is blue
Try as he might
Times were not right
No deer stew.