War with my sister at deer camp.

[Jeff]

You and the watching for deer have drubbed me into a screamin headache. There will be no more limericking by phone by me for awhile.

[doctorb]

OK.  Sorry about your headache.  I will not, however, take the blame for it!  I am very happy to call a limerick truce, however.  Both warriors slowly moved away, bloodied...... ;)

[Jeff]

I deleted my last poem cause on reflection it seemed to be just mean spirited. It was not meant to be.

[grweldon]

PICKLED BOLOGNA?  say_what

Them's good eatin'!

[WDH]

So, is all the head-butting over for a while now  ??? :D.

[Jeff]

HEY! They started it Danny!  ;)

[Jeff]

I got the clearance to put it back. ;D

Ganging up on me is hardly fair,
But I take your challenge like I'll take a dare
Though my thinking is slower
I guess I'll stoop lower
At least I have testies, At least I have hair


HOORAH

[doctorb]

Is this like the Middle East?  Somebody calls a truce and ten seconds later a bomb goes off!  OK...

So Jeff's gone from grumpy to feisty,
He used to be so cuddly and nicety,
But this too shall pass,
As he flattens his azz,
'Cause the bucks he can't seem to enticety.

[Jeff]

How can you call truce, and still say you won?
It can not be over til we both say its done
Clearly you've weakened. Its plain to see
When you start making up words like " enticety"
Now we all know you are just about done.

[Texas Ranger]

From Harrison came a dude
Who, not really being rude,
Wrote limericks quite crude,
Not really malevolent,
But not quite benevolent,
Just deer lonely equivalent.

[doctorb]

I am about to pick up my youngest daughter, who is returning from college today.  I have not clearly "weakened", as you seem to celebrate yourself by yourself.  I must say, dear runner-up, that it was you who needed the olive branch yesterday, and now I get slapped with it!  If only I could find that trigger point for that headache!

As for "enticety", limericks are meant to be funny and often play on words, using them is made up ways.  Sorry it went over your head.  For example:  How's about this famous limerick ......

What a wonderful bird is the pelican,
His beak can hold more than his belly can.
He can keep in his beak
Enough food for a week,
But I'll be damned if I see how the he!! he can.


So, while I'll get back to you with a limerick in the near future, may I critique your last sorry efforts in stating that:
1.  You have totally lost the limerick cadence and rhythm.  You would fail an English assignment on writing a limerick with that!
2.  Testes has no 'I".  It does, however, have a "wee", which is silent.  The "wee" refers to two separate but related matters.  "Wee" as in urination, and "we" as in more than one of something.  You may be unaware that "testes" is plural, as they usually come in pairs. You might look it up, as apparently you are misinformed when you look down! ;D :D

[Jeff]

I broke him. I win!  8) 8) 8)
The cadence is only broken if you broke it.
Its perfectly rhythmic as I spoke it
Its not my fault if you stuttered
My limerick you muttered
So please step down from that poetry pulpit.

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

 :D :D :D :D :D :D Ya'll are making me bust a gut now  :D :D :D :D :D :D :

These are some good ones.......keep it up!  :D

[Jeff]

Doctorb, as for your number two, I'd like to now cover it. (so to speak)

I feel I need an introductory word, and for that i choose wow. Simple use of two letters,

Wow,

When my limerick rhythm got technical,
We were hit with a lecture on "testicle"
But I pee on your scheme
With a good healthy stream
As I have no fear of terms medical


P.S., Its Texas Ranger who has lost all limerick format.  ;)

[Shotgun]

Just for the record, it should be noted that true limerick format is 5 lines.  Even with 6 lines, they're still entertaining.  If you're eyeing the trophy, though, you'd best stick with 5 lines.

Norm       :D

[Jeff]

All of my Limericks are the correct 5 line format. The last one just had an introductory word of preparatory exclamation, not part of the ensuing poem. 

[Texas Ranger]

So, a revision


Jeff, not really being rude,
Wrote limericks quite crude,
Not really malevolent,
But not quite benevolent,
Just deer lonely equivalent

Still works.

[Jeff]

Still wrong. Keep trying.

Limerick format

First two lines rhyme with each other
Then lines 3 and 4 rhyme each other
Then line 5 must rhyme with lines one and two.

[Texas Ranger]

The doctor and dude
still being crude
wrote of  the testicle
a subject non respectable
that some would call rude

[Texas Ranger]

Keep making up those rules
we all need proper tools
where distance seperates
these reprobates
we still play the fools

[WDH]

What a pair  :D :D.

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

Jeff, now is when you need that "Rap App" you used some time back. Just record your poem on the app and you're the winner. 

[doctorb]

All of my Limericks are the correct 5 line format. The last one just had an introductory word of preparatory exclamation, not part of the ensuing poem. 

Maybe you ought to expand your understanding of a limerick, or at least the classic limerick.  Limerick format is more than the AABBA rhyming scheme.  Even Wikipedias knows this.....

"However, from a rhythmic point of view, lines 1, 2 and 5 have a silent accent at the end, making 4 accents per line. Lines 3 and 4 combined also have 4 accents, making four lines with an overall total of 16 accents (i.e. foot tapping "beats" ). Reading, or reciting, naturally follows the rhythm of 6/8 time, making eight bars of two triplets per bar. A triplet represents a "foot" of 3 syllables."

i.e. - there's only one way to read "There once was a man from Kentucky...", with the emphasis on "once", "man", and "tuck".  I know you get this.

Many of your recent efforts are not even close to the correct form.  Keep making up the rules to suit yourself.  I'll let you know when I'm broken.  For example, here's a poem in the correct limerick format.


Although Jeff's the creator of our Forum,
His limericks did nothing but bore 'em.
While his rhyming was fine,
His rhythm's out of time,
And in arguing, he lost all decorum.

When my limerick rhythm got technical,
We were hit with a lecture on "testicle"
But I pee on your scheme
With a good healthy stream
As I have no fear of terms medical

Now, that one is pretty good, I must admit.  One of your better submisions.  But this....

How can you call truce, and still say you won?
It can not be over til we both say its done
Clearly you've weakened. Its plain to see
When you start making up words like " enticety"
Now we all know you are just about done.

....is not worthy of submission, as it's not even recognizable as a limerick.  Don't deflate yourself when you pin the second place medal on your puffed out chest!  That hissing sound might scare away the deer!

[doctorb]

Final answer?


If I grabbed at his head I'd have squeezed it,
To attack his long beard I'd have teased it.
It's not personal, my friend
This poem war is at end,
As my competitive edge, I have pleased it.

[doctorb]

The sun came up bright and quite warming,
With not a poem to read that's alarming.
The deer are still rutting
While Jeff's "but, but, butting....."
He should trade in his hunting for farming.