Getting help

[sandhills]

Funny thing about the internet, like that song goes you can be someone you're not I guess. I'm a bad alcoholic and today I leave for Valley Hope for treatment.  So far 2 good things have come from this whole mess, my daughter stayed with me the other night and asked me for a hug before she left, and in return when I went to talk to my parents I asked my dad for a hug and got it and told him how much I loved him, HE is a good man to no end.
I'm not asking for sympathy or prayers I'm ashamed of who I've become, I feel like I know a lot of you folks here and hopefully will live through this so I can actually meet you.  A year ago last September it killed me, not because of over drinking but because I quit for a day and a half to be a paulbearer for my sister inlaws funeral, I seized up and died in a mortuary :, at least I was in the right place.  I was completely sober for 3 months and fell off the wagon.  It's time to get back on.  

[doctorb]

It's a life long battle, and your direction right now is a very productive turn.  Forgive me as we have never met and what I am about to write is maybe too much of a suggestion from a stranger....but my advice is not to dwell on where you think you have been and what you think your worth has been because of this disease.  You cannot change what's in the past.  But you can recognize what harm it's done to you and others and you can change.  You can focus on yourself and your relationship with others and you can be better.  And you can see that those that care about you welcome you back, with all your faults, as they have theirs.  Latch onto something positive and productive and enjoy pursuing that daily.  Your future awaits.  If you dwell on how sorry you are for things you have done, you may not be able to conquer that to discover the things you can do.  Give yourself a break, and a new direction.

Best of luck to you.  It takes guts to post what you've posted, and you have my admiration.

[LeeB]

My hat is off to you sir. I deal dance with the demons too. 

[barbender]

Sandhills, you have my prayers. It's a tough battle but one that can be won. My experience is people that take responsibility and don't blame others for their current situation, are the ones that win that battle, and you seem to be in that camp. All the best to you!

[WV Sawmiller]

Sandy,

   There are a whole bunch of strange people who get a lot of pleasure out of helping others who will open up to them. I'd say don't deny them another opportunity. Good luck on your journey.

   I figure life is like a long highway. When you take a wrong turn, and we all do at one time or another from time to time, stop the car and turn around and get back on the right road.

[Magicman]

Pat, I have never trod the road that you are on but you have my highest admiration and respect for publically admitting to your addiction and for taking the first step toward defeating it.  Stay strong my Friend.

[Weekend_Sawyer]

Good luck, please get well, you are a good part of this forum.

Jon

[thecfarm]

Takes a lot to admit a problem and not blame it on others. You will be in my thoughts.

[goose63]

Pat you can do it if you need some one to talk to give me a call day or nite

I started drinking be for you were born one night we went out for supper bought 6 month's ago thy asked me what I would like to drink Isaid Dr Pepper my wife gave me this look what no beer nope it don't sound good and I ain't had one yet 

Hang in there Pat my thoughts are with you 

[brianJ]

Im not responding with sympathy or disgust.   We all have our skeletons.   You are an example of bravery for facing this.   

[Logger RK]

I know you helped me out about a year ago now. So if there's anything I can do just let me know. I did fall off the wagon last Saturday. But better now. 

[DPatton]

Sandhills,

The Doctor and all others hit this nail right on the head. The first and sometimes the hardest step is recognizing and admitting there is a problem. You have already crossed this bridge so you are on the right path. Keep your goals in focus and take it one day at a time. 

[Chuck White]

Here's hoping you do well, Pat!

You are to be admired for stepping up and taking action!

[Roxie]

Doctorb sure nailed it.

Hugs to you.

[Southside]

Pat,

Find strength in knowing that you are not the only person who has traveled down this path, but clearly you are very strong for admitting to yourself that you need help. 

I have seen in my own family and relationships what can happen when folks don't admit they have a problem and won't accept help, alcohol took the life of a girl I had dated and she was only 41 when her liver failed. 

As the Doc said, keep looking ahead and do not dwell on the past, you can't change it, but you can decide the future. Learn to recognize your own positive progress no matter how small and build upon it. 

I was once taught that my job consisted of only two steps. First was to live through the next second and the last step was to repeat the first, did not take long and minutes passed, then hours, days, etc. You can do this and will be able to look back on today with a sense of accomplishment.

God speed and know many are thinking of you.

Jim

[Ed_K]

It's a life long battle.

I fell off that wagon 4 time before I got it to roll forward. Your rolling forward, keep at it.

[Banjo picker]

Your a kind hearted person and I wish you the best.  Do this for yourself, and the babysitter you married. ;)  Banjo

[justallan1]

Congrats on the decision of helping yourself and those that you love.
If for some reason you are able to read this from rehab (very doubtful), my biggest piece of advice is START FROM DAY ONE and be totally honest with yourself in every last part of your program.

I was sent to a 6 month live-in rehab for a felony DUI about 2009 and although I went back to drinking for a while afterwards I finally decided things had to change. I'm at around 5 1/2 years sober now and find what works for me is to stay busy, sitting and thinking to much is easily my biggest enemy (and Montana winters don't help a bit!) Believe this for darned sure, you WILL have bunches of time on your hands that you never knew existed, you may need to find a hobby other than your regular work. I work for a ranch and almost burned myself out working to much. I had to make myself go home and work in the woodshop or on my own projects.
I have to remind myself of my goals, make new goals as time goes on and the biggest thing is to get up and go after them instead of just thinking on them.
I can say without a doubt that life has been very rewarding sober and staying that way isn't so hard to do at this point.
When you read this, please feel free to give me a holler. I surely don't have all the answers, but I will certainly share what works for me.

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

Sandhill.....you can do this. Stay focused, keep busy and keep praying brother. 

[curved-wood]

It reminds me a very rough time that I had in my life.  I founded hard to accept help from others and even more to ask for help even to my good friends. Once I was able to accept that I could not get out of the hole alone, it started to improve . Corrections had been made with time, patience and perseverence. I've lost some friends and gain some others. My new one have less face mask and less playing power games. I think I became a better person , more sensitive and more focuse on the essentiel .     Many many very happy moments since then. Hope these words could be  of any help. Good luck on your road.

[petefrom bearswamp]

Best of luck.
Lots of folks here pulling for you
It can be done.
My kid brother did it after 2 failed marriages, 3 rehabs and 2 lost jobs.
We thought he was lost.
He is now dry since 1980.
my other brother quit on his own which is  every difficult about 15 yrs ago.
I however am the black sheep being a social drinker, but have managed to limit it so far.
I wouldnt hesitate to seek help If my good wife pointed me in that direction.

[Bruno of NH]

You can do this I have done it .
The friends I have today are real friends.
My best days in life are the ones I have been sober and loving life.
Take care my friend.

[coxy]

you can do it    its hard hard hard i stopped cold turkey after not having a sober breath for 10 years  the only thing that helped me was i never drank at home  it was very hard going to friends house or to hunting camp it took me over a year to stay back at camp the guys where all going to make a rule no drinking while i was there  but i said no I'm the one with the problem no you guys  now i can be around people that drink and it doesn't bother me because i can say no now  8) hope every thing turns out great for you  if you need anything don't be afraid to ask  we are in this together  

[red]

I figure you have been in treatment for three weeks.  Hope to hear from you soon.

[bedway]

A lot of people pulling for you my friend. Many people are affected by this disease both directly and other. I have a friend who drinks 13 to 15 bottles of wine a week, plus hard stuff. Last week he stubbed his toe, bent over lost his balance, fell and broke his hip. In the hospital waiting for hip surgery he had a stroke. They did surgery on his hip and he is now in rehab for therapy and drying out. Life is not easy, but sure is worth the travel.

[sandhills]

Thank you everyone, everything you all said is spot on.  I just got done this morning and made it home finally, very happy to be back.  I was there just short of a month, what an eye opener!  Sadly I'm afraid my case is pretty minor compared to a lot of what I saw while I was there, I've never used any drugs so I really got an education on that side of addiction.  The staff and chaplins were all great but more importantly the friendship and support among all the patients along with the local AA club was amazing, it was a real eye opener for me.  I don't know what they gave me in Iowa when I had my seizure but I lost about 3 days there and came back with no desire to drink, no cravings, nothing, but like a broken record I heard my story told time and again by numerous people, a relapse is a relapse.  I met a lot of very nice people, learned a great deal from each one, and tried to really be honest with myself and them.  So now the hard part starts outside of the "safe place" but I know I have terrific support and I'm stubborn enough to do it one day at a time, or hour, or minute.  On a lighter note a blizzard came through the weekend after Easter knocking the power out for about 9 hrs., so you put 40 cold addicts in one dining hall, most of which are going through withdrawls, that really makes for a fun, cold breakfast . 

[Chuck White]

Welcome back, Pat, and thanks for the update!

Glad to hear you're doing well, and you are to be congratulated on your success!

You got through the hard part, now you just continually remind yourself that you don't need it!

Good luck to you, my friend, I'm sure your bride has a good shoulder to lean on when needed!

[51cub]

Chuck said all the things I'm thinking better than I can say them. Thanks for letting us know how you're making out!

[red]

One day at a Time .  Use your strength, knowledge,  and life experiences to get you thru tough times.

[Magicman]

Welcome Home my Friend.

[thecfarm]

Glad to hear from you!!!  Mighty glad!!!   You will do fine.  I am thinking of you.

[Roxie]

Glad you are home. 

[Ed_K]

 Praying you keep it up. You can do it I did 19 yrs sober.

[justallan1]

Glad to see you back Pat.
Quite the eye opener, wasn't it?
As good as it is to have a lady and family to lean on and talk to, keep in mind that at times it could be easier to talk to a complete stranger that has walked in your shoes. Holler if you need to talk.

One of the bigger things that kept me busy during the winter months after I quit was this site. I'd quit in august, bought my first mill about Christmas time and then found this site and I'm pretty sure I put in some serious hours reading through things. I say this because along with there being a bunch of us that have been there, this site is a great distraction from the everyday world and something we understand and can be a part of that doesn't require a drink.

[Runningalucas]

With every new day, it brings new life; new beginnings; yesterday is over.  The future for any of us is only what we individually make for ourselves; make no mistake, life is about the fight.

[sandhills]

One thing I heard there that I really liked (and will probably get the wording wrong) was "yesterday is the past, forget it, tomorrow is the future, you have no control over it, today is a gift, that's why it's called the present".  That really can pertain to a lot of situations I guess.  Thanks again for all the kind words everyone.

[red]

Good to hear .

[luvmexfood]

Hang in there. Just avoid anyone that encourages you to drink. That's one problem I had. Quit twice and was doing good till I was with this person. She encouraged me to drink and I did. 

[coxy]

hope everything is going good for you and the family keep your nose to the grid stone i know its been said before but if you need someone to complain to call don't matter what time of day or night  call   beat of luck to you 

[sandhills]

Going good, 37 days so far and no complaints here other I have had a few dreams I relapsed, those stink.  It's weird how real they can seem and how bad you feel when you wake up  :.

[LeeB]

Surely it doesn't compare, but I've had dreams about eating sweets and other high carb foods that i no longer eat. Even in the dreams I knew this was the wrong thing to do and was flabbergasted that I was doing it. Your doing great. 

[thecfarm]

Yes,you are doing great!!!

[Chuck White]

Still thinking, and pulling for you Pat!

You're doing good!

[Magicman]

My continual prayers are with you my Friend. 

[doctorb]

Good for you!  Way to go!

[goose63]

Keep pluging away Pat you are doing good 

If you need some one to talk to give me a shout I ain't that far north of you