My Aunt Passed Away Today

[firefighter ontheside]

Thanks all.  Aunt JoAnn will be laid to rest today.  Arrangements for her funeral have all been made and planned by the Motherhouse.  We have a rather large family with JoAnn having 3 brothers and 3 sisters.  Luckily the only one living out of town these days was able to make it in from Pennsylvania.  With the weather coming in tomorrow I'm not sure when he will be able to go home.  

[kelLOGg]

Once as a child I was visiting my aunt and uncle and eating dinner. I refused to eat the sweet potatoes because potatoes should not be 'orangey'. They told me I had to eat them or I couldn't leave the table. They found out how stubborn I was and l "won". This week my wife and I were thoroughly enjoying baked sweet potatoes at dinner; I imagined aunt Eula and uncle Jack looking down and laughing. 
   

[Jeff]

Bill, I've been thinking about my Aunt Lena constantly since you told us about your Aunt's passing.  Id like to share what I wrote avout my Aunt Lena here, as it turns out, 20 years ago next month.

Yesterday was one of those odd days where all kinds of little memorable things happen. The main focus for the day was the funeral I was going to. Earlier in the week my Aunt Lena died. She was my Dad's oldest sister and the oldest sibling. The only one of the kids left now is Uncle Ron who is the youngest at 76. I thought Lena was 99 but at arriving at the funeral I found she had turned 100 on November 30th.

Because of the distance to the funeral, about 90 miles to Clio, I was to pick up my brother-in-law who would meet me in Clare, we would go on to North Bradley and pick up my Mom and my sister Lynda who is staying there right now.

As I was getting off the Clare exit to pick up Pete I noticed a grinding noise start from the rear of my truck. Not loud but noticeable. Sounded like a break but other then the noise no other symptoms. I picked up Pete and proceeded for Mom's. By the time I got to Mom's house, every time I stepped on the brakes the noise got worse. Figured I must have lost a spring.

I picked up mom and Lynda and proceeded for Clio. We mentioned we were all hungry and knew we would be staying to eat at the dinner that was to occur after the funeral. Out of the blue I said,  "all they were going to have was Egg salad sandwiches". Pete said, "yea, probably". I don't know why I picked egg salad sandwiches other then I thought it sounded funny. We did laugh.  

We arrived about an hour early for the service but a lot of family was there and we had a chance to visit with some. I got a scolding for not hunting opening day at the old farm this year from cousin Gary and was told I DanG well better next year. The atmosphere was more like a reunion then a funeral. Aunt Lena had lived 100 years and had suffered only the last 6 months. We knew where she was now and knew she was having the time of her life visiting with Uncle Elmer and my Dad, and her other sister and brothers, Gramma and Grampa, and other friends that had passed before her. It was not a sad day, it was as the minister said, a celebration at the death of Lena Varner. That may sound odd, but in truth we were celebrating the way she lived her life and the place where she surely is now.

This was a funeral that I call a good funeral. The service revolved around Aunt Lena and her walks in life and with God. I have been to funerals where you would not know whose it was if you missed the first 5 minutes. All scripture and preaching. Instead of leaving feeling like you have said goodbye you leave feeling either guilty or with only a sense of loss.

It was apparent that the minister spent much time in the last 3 days talking with family about Lena from the stories that he related to us. The first story came from a cousin I did not even know existed till just before the funeral. She was one of my Dad's brothers older children from a first marriage. What caught my attention was it began that Suzie remembered visiting her aunt Lena in Flint on many occasions and that the favorite thing she remembered were the egg salad sandwiches that Lena made for her while she was there. Makes me wonder where my earlier quip about egg salad really came from. I don't remember ever having them there or for that matter anywhere where Lena may have been. All I know is that Aunt Lena had now touched me as she had Suzie with a simple egg salad sandwich.

After the funeral we went to the local VFW for the dinner. No, there was no egg salad, but there was lots of food. I forgot to mention what Lynda said as we left the funeral home that made me burst into laughter.  We were already outside and she said, "wow, its good to stand up and let some fresh air in". I guess I think differently then normal cause I found that wildly amusing to her disdain. She loves me so much.

Lynda said something else at the dinner that caught my attention, that of course I had to play up. There were many more unknown relatives at the dinner. My cousin Gary, who had already scolded me about hunting was pointing some out to me that he knew and he knows them all.( Gary is a decade older them me and sort of the family historian and about the same age as Lynda) Lynda walked up and Gary said to her "Lynda, why don't you take Jeff around an introduce him to some of these folks" Lynda replied, "well, I really don't like to do that." Huh? O.K. Sis, I'm real proud of you too. :D  

Later on we were sitting at a table with my cousin Rita and her friend Bob. My Sisters and Rita were discussing Christmas shopping, and a store called Bauners (sp?) in Frankenmuth Michigan. It is known as the biggest, all year round, Christmas store. Rita said. "The best time to shop at Bauners is on Halloween. The store is almost empty" I said, "Rita, can I go with you next year? I think I would like to go trick or treating there dressed as Jesus" She gave me a horrified look and said that deep down I must truly be evil and twisted. Man, it just seemed to make perfect sense to me.

Aunt Lena had been an old lady all my life. My earliest memories of her were her arrival at our home every year with Uncle Elmer just shortly before Christmas. She bought me a single pair of socks every year until I was 14. As a kid I always thought "what a cheap gift". Aunt Lena always wore one of those old hair nets. You know the kind, you don't see it until you get close and then when you do it looks like an onion bag. She was dynamic and animated and the head of the Brokaw clan. She was there for Christmas to check on her family, one of her brothers, to make sure his family was O.K. during the holidays. She did this with all the brothers and her sister. As I found out yesterday, Lena had been doing this for all her years. When she was married to Elmer and left the farm during the depression, She always came home to make sure the family had what they needed. Uncle Ron said there would have never have been Christmas presents on the farm if not for Lena.  

Aunt Lena was a fixture at the old Farm. Even though she and Elmer lived in flint, it seemed when ever we went to the farm as I was growing up they would be there. Lena would be pumping water outside at the well for cooking and cleaning, Elmer would be on the roof patching with another old piece of rolled roofing of a different color or cutting up deadwood for the wood cook stove or the potbelly stove in the center of the old house. When you drove in Aunt Lena dropped everything would throw her hands up in the air then gather up her skirt and rush the car. She would grab both sides of your head and kiss you then let go just long enough to gather you back up and hug you. Then she would say "Are you still smoking? Its going to kill you!"  Actually she only said that to me later in my life as I would drive over to hunt. She still grabbed my face and gave me that hug even when I had reached adulthood. I was still one of the younger Brokaws that was under her protection.  

I forgot to mention. Aunt Lena was ALWAYS there for opening day of hunting. The house would be open and the food plentiful especially the sinkers, Aunt Lena's doughnuts, or fried cakes as she called them. Simple plain doughnuts that I miss so much. They didn't taste that great and many times were a little old but they were made for us. As I think back and picture myself at the old table before daylight with my family from around the state I can't remember ever seeing Lena sit. In my minds eye I still see her flitting from place to place talking and doing and taking care of the family.

In recent years Lena's Daughter, Edna, has taken the job of overseeing the old house and is there every opening day of hunting season. She was always there before but now it is she who grabs my face and kisses me and then steps back and says "Are you going to church?" She gathers me back up and hugs me and then walks me to the old house. Edna is in her 70's. She has always seemed like an aunt to me instead of a cousin because of our age difference. She talks of Family and of God and of the old memories in the Brokaw house. Aunt Lena continues to take care of the Brokaw clan through others. Through her we have learned the importance of family and god and how to touch one another where it counts. the heart.  

On the way home from the funeral I started talking about suddenly remembering getting socks till I was 14. Lynda said if it wasn't for my younger sister Jill I would have stopped getting socks at 12. I said "what do you mean?" Lynda is 11 years older then I and the last youngest child in what is referred to as mom and dad's "first Family". Anne then Connie then Lynda. Jill and I make up the "Second Family", basically started after the first litter had grown up. Lynda told me that Lena always bought them presents as kids too.

Lynda always got a hairbrush that a comb fit in. The other older girls got half slips. She always wanted a half slip like the other girls got but always got the brush and comb. On Lynda's 12th birthday she got a half slip. She remembered Lena saying you are old enough now. The joke with the girls was that Aunt Lena was to cheap for a full slip. The year of Lynda's 12th birthday was the last year the girls got presents from Aunt Lena. As it turned out 12 was the limit, but if there were other children they continued to get gifts till the youngest was 12 so as not to exclude them. We did not know at the time even through two sets of kids that these gifts were not cheap. They were worth more then gold. Aunt Lena did this for every one of her brother's and her sister's families. She continued to make sure that even after the depression that all her family and each of its members got a gift for Christmas till they were old enough to understand that the gifts were not what was important. That it is the birth of Christ and the part he holds in her family that is important.

I dropped Mom and Lynda off in North Bradley amid the shrill of my truck brakes then Pete in Clare, and reached home about 7:00  

All and all, for a day at a funeral, it wasn't to bad. I started today in a 15 degree wind-chill putting new brakepads on the rear of my truck. The one break pad had its lining separate from the pad, hence the growling and scraping sound that was really bad by the time I got home. It wasn't really a job. I spent most of the time with my face in Aunt Lena's hands and thinking about having egg salad sandwiches for lunch.

[firefighter ontheside]

Thanks Jeff.  My uncle Alan who is the middle of the 3 boys in age told a story about the Hod board and the hod carrier, a hod being a board with 3 sides for carrying bricks or mortar on a jobsite.  It was someones job to be the hod carrier.  He told how my Aunt JoAnn was the hod carrier for the family.  JoAnn always asked about what was going on in our lives.  She wanted to know about how her family was doing, how her nieces and nephews were doing.  She wanted to know what was good, but also what was troubling them and wanted to know if there was any way she could help.  You knew *DanG sure that even if she couldn't help in some physical way that she was going to pray for you.  Jeff, your Aunt Lena sounds like a Hod Carrier too.

I always received a birthday car from Aunt JoAnn and there was usually a few bucks in there.  As a nun, she didn't really have her own money.  I assume she would ask for the money from the Mother Superior to be able to give her nieces and nephews.  Aunt JoAnn was a character.  It was told that as she was coming of age to choose a career path, for a while she couldn't decide if she wanted to enter the convent or become an acrobat.  As we all know, the world eventually received a great nun and missed out on what could have been a great acrobat.

My other uncle told how he and the other siblings would take JoAnn on their vacations.  About 10 years ago he had taken JoAnn and my mom to Germany.  They had an amazing trip.  He told how JoAnn was always the one, when asked if they wanted to do something whether it be hike to the top of a mountain or just go into a museum, was always the first one to say "I would love to do that".  She loved to see and do whatever opportunity was offered to her.

Finally, my youngest uncle and the youngest of the 7 siblings, told how he never knew JoAnn as anything but a nun.  She was 17 when he was born and she had moved into the convent before he remembered her living at the home.  He quipped that he may have been what spurred JoAnn to finally move to the convent.  He joked that Grandpa had said that 7 kids was too many for their small home and someone needed to move out.  It had never occurred to me that he, just like me, had never known her as anything but Sister JoAnn.

[samandothers]

FFOTS
Just read this, been away for a while and trying to catch up.  I am sorry to hear of your aunts passing.  You obviously have great memories of your aunt and she sounds like she was a wonderful person.  All my aunts and uncles have passed, and I think of several of them often and all at some time of another.  Sounds like a burger and a beer is in order each year about this time.  BTW, I contacted an old friend today to wish him a Merry Christmas. he shared he had a new grandchild born 12/21/22.

[firefighter ontheside]

Thanks Samandothers.