A Forestry Forum snake hunting trip

[doc henderson]

OCH I have accused you of such.  I think Dr. Freud could make some contributions to the conversation and artistic interpretation.!!

[WV Sawmiller]

   Hey guys - give ne a break. You are all supposed to be able to use a little imagination. Lynn does but he sees his name in the local floriculture.

   I applied to the Juliard school of art and was immediately accepted. I told them I was glad to see they recognized true talent. The admissions officer said "No, we just recognized you had the greatest need for training."

[WV Sawmiller]

Maybe with input from another artist, Howard's artwork could be taken to the next level...?

One good point is the next level is not very hard to reach.

[barbender]

😂😂😂😂

[WV Sawmiller]

(The next chapter)

                "Ouch, ouch, Double ouch!" Tom screams as angry hornets start boiling out of the nest and stinging every exposed part of his body. "You guys come help me."

                Howard looks at Doc and asks if he has any suggestions.  Doc reaches into his back pack and pulls out his Potassium permanganate and a bottle of glycerin and drops a little on a Vasoline soaked cotton ball. Smoke starts rising and Poof we have flame.

                "That's pretty cool" says Howard but how is that going to keep Tom from getting eaten by the gator or stung to death by the hornets or falling out of the tree and breaking his neck?"

                "I'm not sure but in the BSA manual it says in times of stress and uncertainty it is always comforting to have a campfire." Says Doc.

                Tom screams "Hey you guys, I need some help here! Can you chase this mama gator away before these bees kill me."

                Doc replies "They are not bees. They are hornets. And the gator rarely stays away from her nest for over an hour or so although I guess this one can see her nest and may feel she can still protect it." Howard chimes in "Yeah from the shape of the nest and external appearance they look to be White-Faced hornets. They don't normally winter this far south and usually they are found in young hardwood trees instead of Cypresses. And my Grandpa used to hunt gators for a living and he said they can run up to 35 mph in pursuit of their prey."

                Tom yells back "I don't need a dang entomology lesson and I don't need a herpetology lecture on strange habits of American Alligators!" Tom decides if he is going to get help it is going to have to come from within so he looks at the hornet nest, which is hard see as his eyes are already swollen eyes from numerous stings to his face. Finally in desperation he reaches out with his unbooted foot and grasps the top of the hornet nest between his toes and kicks as hard as he can. Several angry insects sting him through a hole in his sock at the heel. But ... miracle of miracles, it works! The nest rips free from the limb it is attached to and the mama gator grabs it in mid-air as it falls toward her.

                All Heck breaks loose! The irate hornets now start stinging the mad mama gator in the tender interior roof of her mouth and tongue. She actually lets out an ear-splitting bellow and rushes back to the safety of the cool swamp water. Along the way she hacks up Tom's bedraggled boot and chunks of the paper nest. She splashes into the water and begins an open mouth death roll shedding dead and dying hornets in copious numbers. From their safe observation perch a hundred yards away Doc and Howard see her splashing off into the sawgrass.

                Doc yells out "Tom, you're a genius! You got rid of both the hornets and the gator at the same time!" Howard admits "That is the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Well done. I can't wait to tell the guys back on the Forum about this. Wait, we forgot to take pictures. Lynn and Jeff will never believe us."

                Tom looks at the rapidly swelling bumps swelling all over his upper body then curses as he steps on an injured hornet which adds another painful sting to his bare foot and as he picks up his up-chucked but thoroughly mangled muck boot and says "I think I can provide plenty of proof. Between this boot and the bumps on my gourd I doubt even the Magic Man would doubt me. Besides I think I have better credibility than you two do anyway."

                Doc has Tom sit down on a leafy log while he daubs Betadine all over a large number of the deeper cuts and bends him over for a shot of Betadine to help reduce the swelling. Howard asks "Is that stuff good for Poison oak?" Doc says the studies he has seen recently indicate it helps reduce the pain and swelling. Howard responds "Good because that is Poison oak where Tom just sat his bare butt after you just gave him his shot." Tom replies "Why doesn't somebody shoot me and put me out of my misery."

                Howard replies "Hey, that reminds me. I just saw where Robert is getting 2" groups with his new custom rifle and 165 grain soft points". Tom monas "why did I ever open my mouth!"

                Our trio pack up their catch and Tom struggles to get his mangled boot back on his foot knowing it will never be waterproof again but maybe it will provide some relief to his badly stung foot in the sawgrass and stinging nettles on the trail out. To add insult to injury Tom gets a final sting on his big toe from a lost hornet left inside the boot.

                They make it back to the swamp buggy and Howard suggest looking for another snake honey-hole. Tom's reply can't be repeated here so they opt to return to the B&B. Tom soaks in a bathtub full of baking soda while Howard and Doc fix a tasty supper.

                Howard checks the bags of snakes to make sure they are securely tied tight. Doc tells him dinner is ready but he says he thinks Tom fell asleep in the tub. Howard looks at the shelf over the ancient gas stove and spies an old fashioned box of kitchen matches and his eyes light up. "Hey, I've got an idea. This is a trick my dad used to play on us when we were walking around in tall grass and thick brush when I was kid."
 
            Howard grabs the box of matches and eases the door to the bathroom open just a crack. He sticks the box inside and shakes it vigorously and yells "Tom, your snake got loose". We may never know what Tom was dreaming but we have a good idea!. He jumps up out of the tub and slips on a bar of soap and falls backward striking the old cast iron tub with a resounding "Whack!" After that he lies motionless on the soap wet floor.

[Old Greenhorn]

Yessir Howard, you are spinning quite the yarn there, and I see to be taking quite a beating as a result, quite a beating indeed. As I don't recall signing any paperwork regarding releases connected with said 'historical fabrications for the purposes of entertainment, I may reserve the right to do a little creative writing of my own.
 As for the artwork, Howard I believe you have some grandchildren that could elevate your ability to tell the story in pictures in a pretty quick manner. From all I have read they are pretty Very sharp and talented kids and could help grandpa out easily as they have with other things that challenge him, like bigfoot tracking, etc.