my siblings are driving me nuts

[woodmills1]

please don't respond to this unless you really want to
I am the executor for my parents estate
from day one since mom passed after dad my sister and brother have been driving me nuts

I even got a buyer for the house in Jersey, I live in new hampshire, the closing is imminent and my siblings are acting like fools.  They both make and have more money than I do and i am totaly out of my skull.


Just needed to vent thaks for being there.

[pigman]

Ten years ago I was the executor of my dad's estate. With three older siblings it was a lot of fun. : I have a lot of sympathy for you woodmills.

[beenthere]

I don't envy you, woodmills1.

But my suggestion would be to keep everyone well informed about what you are doing. Still your decision to do what you think is the right thing.  But not knowing what you are doing may be causing the anxiety of your siblings.  Remember, you were picked as executor for a reason. I expect your Mom and Dad knew who was the leader and would do right for all of the family.
Still, it is a time that brings out the worst side of some people.

Good luck, and hang in there. 

[WH_Conley]

Been there, done that. You got my sympathy.

[CLL]

My mom died in Feb. and it was just me and my brother-in-law, as my sister had died 3 years earlier. My BIL is a ok guy but his kids are dope heads and talked my mom out of most anything of value. I lived 500 miles away so had little influence till I moved back, and by then most stuff was gone. I know how you feel as all my BIL kids did was gripe because I was going to have an auction and sell the house and all in one day and they was going to have to buy anything else they wanted. Thank god its over except for the final closing on the house. In all honesty I wish she had left everything to charity.  Its funny how a little money changes peoples attitude about things. My dad always told me when you get between a man and his money you will soon find out what kind of man or woman they are.

[sawdust]

I am the executor for my grandfathers will, not his children. The will is quite specific it basically absolves me of anything that I choose to do short of stealing all the money.

His verbal instructions were "don't ask opinions don't offer your thoughts, when your done cut them a check"

I have always laughed at the phrase "where there's a will, there's a way too many relatives!"
I may not be of any help here, I am kind of rambling. Grandpa is trying to tell me that no matter what is done someone is going to bitch about it. Don't tell them just do what is right. His will through my hands.
Talk to him if you don't like it.

good luck woodmills.
sawdust.

[ScottAR]

The others are right.  You were appointed for a reason. 
You have the judgment, moral character, stewardship,
and patience (boy howdy) for the job. 

Keep your wits about you,  You will make the correct choices.

[thecfarm]

Sorry to hear of your Mother's passing on. It's too bad that people have to act that way. But I understand what you are going through.Just make sure you are keeping good records and keep them forever. I did the same thing with my brother's estate. Good luck to you.

[easymoney]

sounds like the television commercial. i want my money and i want it now. >:( >:(

[DanG]

I think I'll do my kids a favor and spend all of mine myself.

[rbhunter]

It is a sad state that some are so interested in money. I know of one family in which the daughters talked openly about they were waiting to get parts of the farm when thier mother died. They could not understand why she decided to have someone outside the family to be the executor of the will and also power of attorney.

After my father in law passed away my mother in law met someone in which she decided to marry. My father in law had stated a week earlier that if any thing happened to him he hoped she would find someone else. Well when she announce she was going to get married and started telling up about all of the prenup agreements for the estate we told her we did not care but that she was happy. I think it made her feel better since the other two sons was worried about everything.

My wife and I are executors of our parents estate.

[Ernie]

My Dad died just over 4 years ago.  My siblings and I always got along really well(2 brothers and 2 sisters)  Mum died in '88.

Dad left the brothers as executors leaving me out of it as I live at the other end of the planet-- fair enough.

Our once happy family is no more, the brothers are sueing each other over the cottage that Dad gave to one of them five years before he died.  He asked all the kids if they wanted it, I would have loved it but there was no point as we would have rarely ever got back to Canada and used it,  Gord was the only one who did so he got it but we could all use it if we wanted.

Other brother decided that it should have been kept by Dad and included in the estate, the rest of us agreed that it was Dad's and if he wanted to get rid of it he could and should and he did.

My sisters and I (with the tacit approval of the cottage owning brother) have got the court to remove both of them as trustees/executors and appoint an independant trustee to settle the estate.  We saw no point in the two of them spending any more of what Dad left on a fight which should never have been.  So far they have spent over $80000.00 on the battle and the court has said that any further expenditure will be on their own heads.  The cottage is only worth about $120000.00 so what is the big deal?

It is so incredibly sad when one idiot can ruin a family relationship over a mere few bucks.

At least there are four of the five of us who still love and respect each other and can rely on each other in times of need.

The "bad" brother is 18 years younger than the rest of us and seems to be a totally different generation with a completely foreign, to us, set of values.

[woodmills1]

thank you forum members for the wonderful support.  I read some of your posts and say,  "and I think I have problems".    I do now have 2 idiots, read ex siblings, to deal with.  Just gets me, my mom and dad were not like that at all.  Mom would meet some down and outer while shopping for thaksgiving dinner and lo an behold that stranger would be there at our table eating turkey.