Some random notes, observations and questions

[WV Sawmiller]

Tom,

   I am sure Robert's fish stories are all true and verifiable. 

   I remember my dad telling some misplaced yankees  in Dixie County Fla one time when they commented on how low the Suwannee River was. They said they bet it had never been this low. Dad said "On this in nothing. I remember one time it got so low all the catfish we caught had ticks and fleas on them. We were catching half grown bluegills that did not know how to swim."

   I took then nearly 11 y/o son there on spring break in 1989 and we'd catch an #2 wash tub full of big catfish (although nothing like what I catch here) and go in a local cafe for breakfast. These misplaced yankees who had moved in/infested the area who come in and see the fish and ask all kinds of personal and highly private questions like "Who caught all those big catfish?   Where did they catch them?  What were they using for bait?" Dad would point to Sean and say "That boy caught them down in the ditch/canal by the road using a cane pole. He was using grasshoppers for bait." By the end of the week Sean was joining like Little Arliss on Old Yeller and saying "Yep, I had to quit cause that was all I could drag home. I only had one #8 hook and I lost it on a big one. I ran out of grasshoppers and had to stop." We'd finish our breakfast and go out to find mp yankees  chasing grasshoppers in the median of the 4 lane highway and fishing in the ditches and such.

   I always wanted to go catch a big string of big crappies or such then go fish in the ditches by the highway and when people would laugh and make fun just pull the stringer up and go back to fishing.

    I remember Mr. Tom's tale about dropping a 20 lb catfish in a small creek  where the kids fished and them telling about the monster tearing up all their tackle for months after that.

[JD Guy]

Sitting here nursing my bad back and haven't laughed so much in a quite a while! Thank you to all who provided the "creative writing" 

[WV Sawmiller]

   The proper term is "Historical recollections" and if we printed them all in a binder they would be found in the Non-fiction, reference materials".

[SawyerTed]

Right there beside the Fibrications of Rancid Crabtree, the works of McManus and just before the  writings of  Zern, one might find Tall Tales and Elongations of Truth: A Collection of Hysterical Recollections of the Forestry Forumites.  With special hunting tales by H. Green and fishing escapades by R. Milton. 

[YellowHammer]

I grew up reading Don Wirth out of Bassmaster with the fishing adventures of Harry and Charlie.  I had dreams of catching bucketmouth hawgs with spinner baits that used Volkswagen hubcaps as blades.  Yeah, I caught me some Bigguns and I can tell stories about it, too.  

I remember one time I caught so many fish at pier during a weeks vacation in Florida that I just started giving them away, day after day, mostly to a cute asian lady about my age.  Well after a couple days, an old guy came up to me and out of the blue asked if I would marry his daughter, because I had been giving her enough fish to feed their whole family for the week and he could tell I was a good provider!

Speaking of random thoughts, I was wondering what kind of tick gets on a catfish?  Would it be a dog tick?  For that matter, do Sasquatches get ticks?  And if they ever got Spotted Fever, how would you know? They are covered in hair.  And do Sasquatch's get male pattern baldness as they get older, and if so, do they just do a "comb over"?

Don't even get me started about the time Bill Dance almost pushed me off the dock, or the time a dolphin threw a fish at us.

[Old Greenhorn]

OK Hang on there a sec Robert. I was buying it al until the Bill Dance thing. Now I think you may be reaching just a bit. I'm not implying anything, but I'm just sayin' maybe it's a stretch.

[WV Sawmiller]

  My 7 y/o grandson found a collection of my Harry & Charlie books a few weeks back and I have been reading them to him. Of course I have to change Charlie and Harry to him and his best friend. And I have to periodically stop and explain what a Water Packed Viennie is to him but he is off to a good start.

  I think there was a wide assortment of ticks on the catfish and IIRC there were even a few redbugs.

    Excellent questions about Sasquatch getting ticks and spotted fever and Lyme disease and such. Male Pattern Baldness - I suspect that comes from he mother's side of the family.

    Are/What percentage of Sasquatch Right or left handed? Do they get Wisdom teeth when they get older? Do they fart? Do they dream? Are they allergic to poison ivy? Do older females have hot flashes (I don't want to be around if they do)?

  It is obvious scientists have a lot more work to do.

  I'd be embarrassed if a dolphin felt so bad for me it tossed me a fish instead of stealing them from me.

[YellowHammer]

I got me some real whoppers most folks would just roll their eyes at, but the ones that know me, know it all really happened.  Yep, me, Bill Dance, and Flipper.  As honest a story as ever, and it didn't start with a can of Viennas, it started with a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. 

I remember the time where I read in BassMaster how Tom Mann always kept a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken on the front deck of his bass boat, and would munch on the drumsticks between fish, during the day, and how the chicken would stay hot and tasty in the summer sun.  Yup, so I had to try it and I bought a big bucket of KFC extra greasy, called up my fishing buddy Mike, and we decided to to a "Jellyworm" themed trip (Tom Mann arguably invented the modern plastic worm, the JellyWorm) and we went to fishing on the Big G, on a sweltering summer day.  So I plopped the bucket of fresh fried greasy KFC chicken parts in the front of the boat, and we got to catching, eating and laughing.  Dang, we were catching fish! and giving credit to where credit was due, the bucket of KFC on the front deck and good old Tom Mann.  Catch a fish or two, grab a hunk of yard bird, take a bite, and throw the bones in the water.  What could be better?  Well, by mid afternoon, the fishing had slowed, the bucket of now day old summer chicken had seemed to lose it's mojo, and was nearly empty, and Mike was getting hungry and wanted to get the fishing kickstarted again.  Unbeknownst to him, I thought the remaining chicken pieces had begun smelling a little "ripe" and I decided to lay off them.  However, since Mike was my buddy, I somehow forgot to mention my thoughts on the expiration status of the somewhat now slightly "other than fresh" bird.  So between casts, Mike finished off the chicken, had one of his favorite Kroger's Cost Cutter beer, and we didn't think much more about it.  Or, I didn't anyway, but in a pretty short period of time, Mike was turning green.  Then he stopped talking.  Then he started burping.  Then he said he needed to get to the bank. Quick.  Real Quick.  Well...I had suspicions about what maybe was about to happen, so we raced back to the Marina where they had a bathroom. As soon as we hit the dock, Mike took off running across the parking lot full of trucks and bass boat trailers.  Later, as we discussed the events that unfolded, running full speed probably wasn't such a good idea, as the shaking must have ignited the volcano he had inside his guts and before I knew it, I saw him stop in the middle of the parking lot, jerk his pants down, sit across the frame of an empty trailer, and let loose from both ends.  From the dock, it looked like he was doing a "Las Vegas Fountain" impression in the middle of a public launching ramp, which thankfully, was mostly empty of people, or they would have had a mental image that would have scarred him for life.  I know I did...  It was more than a sight to behold, and one I will never forget, but I remember  that another hundred yards and he would have made it to the can.  Anyway, as the first act of the of "fountain show in the park" ended, he was able to pull his britches up and skedaddle for the restroom before act 2 commenced, while I put the boat on the trailer.  I went inside the office, explained with a straight face to the shell shocked guy working the counter who saw the whole thing that my buddy had a "medical condition" and please don't call the cops, as the next rain will clean up the mess.  Anyway, we never did "Front Deck Chicken" again, although we did catch a lot of fish, and we decided Tom Mann must have had a pretty tough stomach.

[Jeff]

Jeff did not remove the age from the posts. Jeff hacked the age into the old version of the software. The new version of the software was totally rewritten from the old, so it coughed out my hack, and because this version is so much different,  I've had to enlist my 30 year old brain that could figure out how to replace it. So far I've not been able to locate that part of my brain.

[doc henderson]

KFC goes well with boating.  My best friend from high school and all the way back to cub scouts is named Greg. He lives in Loveland Colorado and when we get together (when we were younger) we would do a whirlwind of activities over the 2, 3, or 4 days we had together.  At his place we would golf in the morning, windsurf in the afternoon.  then off to a place to eat or cookout.  After sunburn and sore muscle, his wife Carla would have to push on me to help me get out of the cab of their little Toyota pick-up.

So they came to KC when I was in med school.  We went to oceans of fun, a Royals game, and other things less memorable.  We planned to go to Lawrence and sail, and we were running out of time.  We drove over and picked up KFC and a bottle of Sutter home white zinfandel.  Good college wine.  Gregs sister Christi had come along.  We headed to Clinton Lake.  My boat was a 14-foot O'Day javelin.  It was getting dark, and we saw "heat lightening" off in the distance.  I often sailed there at night.  Great night, warm with a nice breeze.  made across the lake and headed back.  The wind stopped and then came out of the other direction.  The temp dropped about 10 degrees.  I told Christi to put on a life jacket.  The wind and rain whipped up.  I had to stand over the tiller so i could shift weight with everyone else on the port side.  Christ was trying to get into the cuddy cabin.  We made it to the marina but could not navigate well enough in the gusty wind at night to my slip, so made it to a float/dock and tied up.  Jump in the car and go to a Dennies for breakfast.  I was high as a kite from the experience.  Christi was shell shocked.  She for years never rode in a boat.  She died of covid a few years back.  Drove back to KC at 3 am.  When the sun was up, called the marina who was able to toe my boat to the slip.  When I had time to put stuff away, there was KFC floating in 8 inches of water and the whole boat had a nice sheen and slippery feel due to the chicken.  we have become more reasonable over the year.  great memories.  about 1986.

[WV Sawmiller]

  Your tales for some reason reminded me on an old neighbor "One-Arm" Curtis Brown. Mr. Brown tried to hop a freight train for a cheap ride somewhere in his youth and missed the rail and fell with is left arm across the track and the wheels cut it off well above the elbow joint. He could tell tall tails all day and was the "Best Shot" originator.

  He used to keep us kids in stitches talking about fishing. He said it was hard to fish with just one arm because you had to either hold the bait or the hook in your mouth. He said crickets were bad because they had scratchy legs and would cut your lips and gums and their legs would get caught between your teeth. Minnows flounced around too much and you'd swallow one pretty often. Worms were not quite as bad but every now and then you'd bust one and they tasted awful.

  On the full moons in summer the big bluegills would go on the bed in our local gravel pits left after they pulled millions of tons of sand and gravel out. The bluegills like the shallow sandy points and would bed in water less than 2' deep. Mr. Brown would take a five gallon bucket out and sit on it with just a couple inches showing above the water line and his britches legs rolled up to his knees. He'd use a long cane pole and throw it out as far as he could reach in front of him and could reach the bedding areas. Every time he'd hook a bluegill he'd toss this line back to the bank where his wife, Miz Matty, would unhook and string it up, rebait his hook then give him the go ahead and he'd toss it back and repeat the operation. Miz Maddy was fishing with a line spinning rod to reach the same beds. They caught some very impressive strings of bluegills doing that.

[barbender]

Howard, that story reminded me of my Grandma, who lost an arm due to an injury she got in a car accident when she was 9. She loved to fish and I have fond memories of fishing with her. She'd stuff the butt of the rod under the stub of her arm so she could reel with her hand. Switch to her good arm for setting the hook and casting obviously. She was a remarkable woman, one tended to forget she was missing an arm. Also, she drove like a demon!😂😂 Get out of the way!

 I remember one time we were in Minneapolis, I was riding with Grandma, folowing my putzy driving Dad in the car ahead of us. Grandma said, "he can't be driving that slow down here- someone's going to shoot him!"😂