Lawyers

Mark M · December 10, 2003, 07:29:22 AM

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two pathetic men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate, and asked, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have no money for food," the first man replied. "Oh, well, you can come with me to my house," insisted the lawyer. "But, sir, I got a wife and three kids here." "Bring them along!" replied the lawyer. "But how 'bout my friend?" The lawyer turned to the other man and said, "You come with us, too." "But, sir," said the friend, "I got a wife and six kids!"
"Bring them as well!" answered the lawyer as he headed for his limo. They all climbed into the car, and once underway, one of the poor fellows says: "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll love my place, the grass is almost a foot tall."

Stump Jumper · December 10, 2003, 02:48:29 PM

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Kevin_H. · December 10, 2003, 03:48:32 PM

Ha! Ha!, Now that is funny. ;D

karl · December 10, 2003, 04:27:54 PM

That's good! Like lawyer jokes.

What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving from a plane?

Skeet!

SasquatchMan · December 10, 2003, 04:38:29 PM

Surely you guys know what lawyers use for birth control?

Their personality, mainly.

Mark M · December 10, 2003, 08:27:14 PM

Do you know why New Jersey has so many toxic waste dumps and New York has so many lawyers?

Because New Jersey had first choice!

Ianab · December 10, 2003, 08:43:22 PM

OK.. whats the difference between a lawyer and a flounder?

One is a scum sucking bottom dweller... the other is a fish!

pasbuild · December 10, 2003, 08:49:56 PM

Going to have to share these with my hockey team, theres a lawyer on the team.that should get everybody going ;)

Texas Ranger · December 10, 2003, 09:59:39 PM

Why will snakes not bite lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

etat · December 10, 2003, 11:59:39 PM

Satan was complaining bitterly to God, "You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and desires, and deal with all sorts of losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes. Yet people worship and adore you. People fight, get arrested, and cheat each other, and I get blamed, even when it is not my fault. Sure, I'm not perfect, but give me a break. Can't you do something to make them stop blaming me?"

And so God created lawyers.

karl · December 11, 2003, 04:18:58 AM

Scientists have decided to use lawyers instead of rats in their studies. Research has show that it is a good idea for the following reasons;
1. There are more lawyers than rats

2. They are easier to train.

3. Staff don't get attached to them.

4. There are some things a rat won't do. :D :D :D

Frank_Pender · December 11, 2003, 07:24:34 AM

You know how to handle a lawlyer? Refer to the air compressor in the "Problems" thread.

DeepWoods · December 12, 2003, 06:54:41 PM

You know what you got when you have a lawyer up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.

If a lawyer and an insurance agent jump out of a plane at the same time, which one hits the ground first?

Who cares.