Old Sayings…...

[Darrel]

My Grandma Carson would call out when someone knocked on the door, "String's out, come on in."  So when I built the mud room onto our 5th wheel I put in a door with a string.

https://youtu.be/R9Y6djjzzL8

[Chuck White]

That's neat Darrel.

[rasman57]

I taught him everything he knows.....fortunately I didn't teach him everything I know...

[thecfarm]

I always say,I taught him everything he knows and he still don't know nothing.

[Randy88]

Someday I hope you have kids just like you, then you'll understand exactly what I'm going through now...........turns out my mom was right about this too.   

A customer of mine was told by his wife he had to keep an eye on his daughter and her boyfriend this past weekend so they didn't do anything "wrong", while they were out deer hunting, he asked why she didn't do this herself.    Her reply was because she was "his" daughter and the only reason she was concerned was because she was his daughter thus it would his fault if something were to happen that shouldn't happen.       

So he told his daughter and her boyfriend to not do anything that would upset her mother, because first she'd be upset with him, then shortly later she'd focus on "her" and to trust him, it wouldn't be pretty when she'd be that mad.      The way he told it was really funny, then he asked us, have you seen them, and we said, yes, they were out deer hunting dressed in orange and looking at each other and we think we think they each found the dear they were hunting for.      It took him a few seconds then he stated, my mom was right, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.       

Then we told him to not worry, we were pretty sure they were both looking hot and sweaty and winded due to walking and not other reason's.....................took him a few seconds to say, well then maybe she's more like her mother than me, if she'd be like me, there wouldn't be much walking involved to get hot and sweaty at that age. 

I told him to keep one thing in mind when it comes to teenagers, sex is heriditary  , chances are if your parents never had sex, neither would you...........he laughed then told us, maybe you should be the one to tell my wife that one, she's really not interested in anything I have say right now, most everything these days is my fault.

I told him to look at the bright side, if anything goes wrong, the husband is to blame and when things go right, the wife deserves the credit..........and behind ever successful man is a woman and behind her is a completely shocked mother in law.         

Then he told me, chances are if don't like your mother in law from the start, you'll wake up years later only to find out your wife turned into her and your then married to your mother in law.....I couldn't help it, I laughed at that one.   

He then asked, if everyone knew so much and kept telling us all the years we were growing up, why didn't we listen to any of them.   I told him it was because we were smarter than they were and we were going to prove them wrong.    He asked, hows it going for me, I told him about the same as it was going for him, we both laughed and then I told him I had to get back to work or the owner would fire me, he then said, slaves get sold, free men get fired.   

There were quite a few more but those I can't print.   

A man works from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done.   Or the way my dad put it, a woman works from sun to sun but a man's work is never done, depends on who's telling it.   

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

If at first you don't succeed, you can always file bankruptcy and start over again.     I think it was supposed to be if at first you don't succeed, try again.   

Every neighborhood has a designated ahole, and if you don't know who it is, chances are its you.

Accidents do cause people.   

[Chuck White]

I tried to learn him, but he just won't teach!

[Chuck White]

When the cats away, the mice will play!

[btulloh]

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball."

(Not that old, but eventually it will be.)

[goose63]

Taught him every thing he knows and he still konw any thing

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

Behind every good man there is a woman rolling her eyes.  :

[WV Sawmiller]

   Dedicated to Roxie:

"Behind every successful woman is a surprised man"

[Magicman]

    

[Logger RK]

A older guy I knew,when talking of good sized hill,was steeper then a cows face.

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

   

Run for the hills !  smiley_horserider

[gww]

Magic
Surrender is for sissys.
Cheers
gww

[Magicman]

Ain't skeered, just gonna distance myself from Reply #985.       :D

[Don_Papenburg]

Dun look like you is skeert :laugh: :laugh:

[terrifictimbersllc]

fraidy cat

another old saying

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

Some pretty good ones in this:


Words of wisdom to pass along.

1. Never shake a man's hand sitting down.
2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs aren't one.
3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.
4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.
5. Act like you've been there before. Especially in the end zone.
6. Request the late check-out.
7. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
8. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.
9. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
10. Don't fill up on bread.
11. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look him in the eye.
12. Don't let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.
13. If you need music on the beach, you're missing the point.
14. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.
15. You marry the girl, you marry her whole family.
16. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.
17. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.
18. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.
19. Never turn down a breath mint.
20. Sit in reverance of your Creator, but remember He gave you Free Will. Do your work.
21. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.
22. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.
23. Thank a veteran. And then make it up to him or her
24. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
25. Eat lunch with the new kid.
26. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.
27. Ask your dad to play. he'll never let you win.
28. Open doors for people.
29. Give credit. Take the blame.
30. Write down your dreams.
31. Say "Thank you for your service." to firefighters, police officers, military personnel etc.
32. Be proud of your efforts and accomplishments, but don't get cute.
33. Remember this equation: E+R=O - event + response = outcome.
34. When the truth is delivered with respect, how the other person responds is their deal.
35. If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
36. Know how to: change your oil, fix a sink, save your money and be the hero in an argument (calm it down).
37. Remember: Prayer is talking to God. Meditation is hearing from God. Get good at doing both.
38. You are 100% responsible for your own life.
39. Patience is a virtue, but slow feet don't eat.
40. Understand the balance of confidence and humility.

[Magicman]

Thank You my Friend.

My Mother once told me; "If the other person didn't laugh, it wasn't a joke".

[WV Sawmiller]

  Good ones David.

A buddy used a similar one "Pray for rain but keep on hoeing the weeds."

   I don't remember most of them but some military and "Pretty Good Rules for Gunfighting" included:

1. Don't draw fire - it annoys those around you.
2. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is nobody's friend.
3. If the enemy is in range - so are you.
4. They won't remember who drew first, just who shot last.
5. Shoot twice - bullets are cheap, lives aren't.
6. Never use a pistol whose caliber does not start with at least a 4.

   You can likely demilitrize each of these and apply to your daily routine

[Randy88]

Behind every successful man is a completely shocked mother in law

[51cub]

This first one I don't know how old it is, but it gets me every time
"You need a vacuum gauge to give him an IQ test". And one my father used to say, " Keenness of observation is the first rule of success"

[WV Sawmiller]

   From back during my project days I came across the six phases of a major project. For those of you who have worked in this kind on environment you may recognize how accurate they tend to be.

1. Enthusiasm
2. Disallusionment
3. Panic
4. Search for the guilty
5. Punishment of the innocent
6. Rewards for the non-participants

[mpilting]

"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read."
― Mark Twain