Strange dispatches

[Old Greenhorn]

I spent a number of years in emergency services and am still a 'current' EMT for a while yet. I have always had a scanner at my desk, usually on quite low, so I can stay current with what's going on, and if a neighbor has a medical emergency, I have been known to jump in and start treatment until the regular responders arrive.
 Anyway, every once in a  while I hear a dispatch that makes me turn up the volume and follow a call that catches my ear. I thought I had heard in been involved in all of the weirdest calls there were, but once in a while, you hear something new.
 I was just headed out to the shop when I heard this "911 to an available for a Llama in the roadway". A PO answered up that he was about 2 miles out and would respond. A few minutes later the PO calls in "... I had a conversation with the subject and persuaded her to move to the shoulder of the road where she is safely standing now. I am looking around for the owner or a farm that she might belong to. Can you provide any assistance? Subject is a brown Alpaca with a white flash of her on her forehead." As I type this, dispatch is calling farms in the area but not getting any responses and the Officer is standing on the roadside holding an Alpaca at bay, while they look for another unit to go knock on farmer's doors.
 Ya can't make this stuff up.

[trimguy]

That's funny.

[Southside]

Oh there was the Emu on the side of the Interstate that Kicked a Trooper in the chest after he grabbed it's neck resulting in the Trooper rolling down the embankment for 20 or so feet while said Emu shashayed away that had us all in stitches....  That one made the regular rounds for quite a while.  

[Old Greenhorn]

Jim, I assume that as before everybody had to go through De-Escalation training? :D :D ;D

[Southside]

His rational was that he was in fact de-escalating the situation by grabbing it.  I about peed my pants I was laughing so hard, luckily the thing ran off because if it had decided to kick his butt I was not in a position to be able to help.  He was one of those guys who had everything perfect on his uniform, NASA could have used his boot toes to reflect light from Venus into some swamp gas if you can picture what I mean.  Stetson crushed, shirt torn, whistle gone flying, mud, grass stains, torn pants, boots wrecked, and too many witnesses for him to be able to whip out his .45 and do anything about it.   :D

[SawyerTed]

My best friend is a LEO.  He works special investigations and narcotics.  

One morning on the way to his office, he found a couple of horses in the road.  He called dispatch for some assistance, got the horses out of the road and went to the nearest house.  

When he looked in the back door window, he saw large quantities of pot.  He called dispatch to get his narcotics team on the way.

He had to beat on the door to get the guy to come to the door.  When he came to the door he came with his pants on backwards!  A woman came in with a big tank top on nothing else!  They were very stoned at 6:45 am.  

By that time backup arrived.  The man and woman were arrested  on drug charges.

Turned out they both were married.  Only thing was they were married to other people.  The house was their sugar shack.

When my buddy put the guy in the deputy's car for transport, the guy said, "They aren't even my horses!"

[thecfarm]

On the news there was a sheep in a cruiser.

[Otis1]

When I lived in Colorado in my early twenties I worked as a painter. Small operation, just the guy that "owned" the company and me, maybe occasional other help. At the time I was just a hose monkey for him spraying, making sure he didn't run out of paint, moving ladders, etc.  One time we painted a metal building in the pasture right next to a gate. Well the rancher wasn't too excited to get woken up around 2 am with the sheriff  telling him his cows were in the highway. One of us had left the gate open. It wasn't me, but I definitely got blamed for it being the young guy. 

The guy I worked for was kinda a POS. On the same building which was in view of the highway, he painted in big letters; ""Name of ranchers son" is g**" . It got painted over the next day, but the rancher got a lot of phone calls. I learned a lot from that guy, mostly how not to be an A hole.

[beenthere]

Found a dead longhorn cow on the Farmhouse Frat lawn which probably was another strange dispatch. 
Dead longhorn found outside FarmHouse fraternity house | News | ocolly.com

Looks like it died of old age or other problems, not killed just for this event as some news commentators have implied. 

[moosehunter]

When I was active in our FD we had a dispatching box called a "Plectron". When we had a call this red box would make a noise that is hard to describe but I'm sure it woke the folks comfortably rest in the cemetery about a quarter mile from our house. 
So one night whilst sleeping I dreamt that we went on a call for a pig that had been hit on the highway. They called us to wash the pig off the highway. I saw the mess. I helped with the trucks. It was a dream, I never got out of bed.
Later that week at meeting night the guys were talking about washing a pig off the road near the butcher shop. WAIT A MINUTE! So I asked if I was there. No, no one remembers me being there. Looked on the Call log, nope I wasn't there. To this day I remember the scene but I never got out of bed. 
This event was preceded by a fair amount of alcohol, but still,....
mh

[GRANITEstateMP]

On the news there was a sheep in a cruiser.

Ray,
Seeing how you are from Maine, I must ask, was the sheep in the front or rear seat of the cruiser?? ;D

[WV Sawmiller]

   Around here Llamas are often used to protect sheep from coyotes and stray dog packs and such.   

    Donkeys and mules are also used. 

   I assume an alpaca would also work as such a guardian. I wonder if that was what it was?

[thecfarm]

I must tell,rear.

[WV Sawmiller]

   When I worked in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia it was common to see a small 4 door pick up truck driving around town with the father and boys (4-5 were common) in the front seat and sheep and goats (think 10-12 as common) would be in the back seat and the veiled wives and daughters  (10-12 were common) would be sitting in the open back cargo area of the truck. Once I asked a Saudi co-worker why they put the sheep and goats in the back seat but made the women and girls ride in the back. 

    His reply was "They don't have to tie the women in to keep them from jumping out when driving down the road."

[sawguy21]

 :D Now that is funny!

[Bradm]

... and too many witnesses for him to be able to whip out his .45 and do anything about it.   :D

Witnesses or not, if I was that cop I would've unloaded every round I had into that thing and then searched the cruiser for more ammo or a bigger gun.  I do not like emus.  I've seen some nasty injuries and had some close calls myself.

[Ianab]

I do not like emus. 

Fair enough. Australia declared War on Emus and sent in the Army to cull them. Machine guns and all...

The Emus won.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emu_War


"The machine-gunners' dreams of point blank fire into serried masses of Emus were soon dissipated. The Emu command had evidently ordered guerrilla tactics, and its unwieldy army soon split up into innumerable small units that made use of the military equipment uneconomic. A crestfallen field force therefore withdrew from the combat area after about a month"

Now to be fair, I've been to a farm zoo where you could walk into a paddock with emus / goats / deer etc. And hand feed the emu.

But I sure as heck wouldn't want to pith one off, they can defend themselves. Multiply an angry Rooster by 100X