Hi Ren

[Jeff]

Over the years members of our family and extended family including myself at times have struggled with prolonged illness or depression. I myself battle everyday with the thoughts of if the demons or simple terrors of sleep paralysis will visit me when I try to sleep. It can be a grind that makes you want to just quit, but you trudge on knowing that the lows bring the highs and those highs make it worth the journey.

I discovered this video this past week when my son said just watch it dad.

The young man that created this had suffered with the effects of undiagnosed Lime Disease for half of his life.  The video is his expressions of what the human being does to fight off the darkness and embrace the days between the nights.

I don't know how this will effect you, but it will. It did me, deeply.i have watched several reaction videos to his video, and it is clear it moves every single soul that watches. Foul language warning.

[doc henderson]

I watched it all.  kind of uncomfotable but makes a good point.  I am glad it may help make some sense to things we endure.  

[Hilltop366]

That's pretty wild.

[Old saw fixer]

I didn't watch it, but have a history with depression and I can identify with it. 
I try not listen to the music of the better times in my life too long.  For the same reason I won't watch anything on TV but movies and a few programs and avoid the advertisements.
I will tell you that alcohol isn't a cure for the blues.

[customsawyer]

I tried to watch it but couldn't make it through. Nothing against him or you, just outside my wheelhouse. For the record I've had Lyme disease since mid 1988, so well over half my life.  It is a challenge, but I fell that young man would have things to deal with regardless if he had that disease. Some folks just have demons that others don't. It doesn't make life fair but it never is. The demons don't define one. How they react to them does. Does one do everything in their power to make them smaller? Do they use them as an excuse? The choice will always be that individuals.

[Jeff]

I almost turned it off. I understand why you would, but you lose. You never see the hope. You gave up. You missed the genius This is not a musical choice for everyone, probably not many  but if you see it to the end, it is a message that is clear.

[Old Greenhorn]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, same with music. Doing the festivals I do I have had a lot of the alternative music similar to this forced on me. Not that I minded because it made me open my mind and listen and after a while I got better at listening and got a bit more from each presentation. I will say, in the beginning of those days I didn't get much, but as I relaxed I was able to just listen and take it as presented. This isn't easy for everyone to do and I had a to work at it a little. I have seen some fairly offbeat stuff in the last 15 years or so. None is either good or bad (ok, some was fairly poor, but they were working on it) it's just different. You get from it what you, as an individual, with your own experiences, will get. I did enjoy this artists presentation and thought it unique as well as his message heart felt and positive.
 Some music moves me in ways I cannot explain. I have friends that are very good writers and excellent performers, they make their living at it. A number of years ago Ruthy wrote a tune about her good friend's fight overcoming addiction. I have no idea why, but the tune affects me greatly and I have seen them perform it at large concerts and festivals many times.  Ruth told me a while back that when they do this at a concert she avoids making eye contact with me in the audience because she can see me mouthing the lyrics and she can see the tears in my eyes and then she has to fight her own tears off. You never know how a well delivered song or tune will affect you and it is a testament to the artist that it strikes home for people the way it does.




 Ruth's Dad wrote a Scottish Waltz type tune (no lyrics) in 1982 called "Ashokan Farewell" which most folks know when they hear it and I guarantee everyone reading this has heard it. That tune haunted me and I could never listen to it without tearing up, I have no idea why. For almost 30 years, my wife would laugh when she looked at me "there he goes again" she would say. My son in law is a fiddler and a good one and would play it when I asked. Same thing every time. It was until I started to play it on mando that I could get through it without the tears. But when I hear Ruth, or her Dad paly it, I still have trouble keeping my composure. I have no idea why. Music has a strange power over many of us.

[Old saw fixer]

I sure got misty listening to that!
Thanks @Old Greenhorn .

[Walnut Beast]

Mental illness is not a choice to those that deal with it and fight it everyday. If you know somebody with it and have experienced their pain and suffering first hand you would understand. 

[Bruno of NH]

As most know I have had some health battles for some time.
Depression can be real and eat you up if you let it.
But you can reinvent yourself and move forward.