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Kids say (and do) the dangdest things.

Started by Old Greenhorn, March 29, 2021, 08:41:22 PM

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Old Greenhorn


 Grandma's (my wife) birthday was last week and the Grandson's very proudly presented her with a nice apple tree to plant in the yard (guess who gets to dig the hole?) on Saturday. They were very happy with their gift, and so were we.
-------

So today we had two Grandson's here for the day (one is 5 and the other is 8 ). At one point, the 5 y/o says to Grandma:
"Grandma, can I have some apple slices please?" (this is a normal snack here)
 Grandma says "I'm sorry Dylan, we don't have any apples, can I get you something else?"
Dylan sys "No Grandma, That's OK" and he heads for the back door but struggles with the lock (it keeps the cats in) and Granma says "where are you going? It's cold out and you don't have a coat on."
 Dylan says "We just got you an apple tree, I am going out to get an apple."
 Gotta love it. 
Tom Lindtveit, Woodsman Forest Products
Oscar 328 Band Mill, Husky 350, 450, 562, & 372 (Clone), Mule 3010, and too many hand tools. :) Retired and trying to make a living to stay that way. NYLT Certified.
OK, maybe I'm the woodcutter now.
I work with wood, There is a rumor I might be a woodworker.

Tacotodd

Trying harder everyday.

WV Sawmiller

   Our 2nd GD went shopping with me when she was about 4 y/o and I hit several red lights in a row so I turned to her and said "Abbie, I think I'm going to change all these lights so they stay green all the time. That should make traffic go a lot faster shouldn't it?" She immediately replied "Yep, traffic will go a lot faster. But there's gonna be a lot of wrecks!" (Pretty intuitive for a 4 y/o).

   We had the 3 older gds and went to visit a sick friend in the hospital in Roanoke VA and found they had a park near the hospital that had a small zoo so we took the girls to it. They had a big walk in Aviary where you could walk around and look at several different kinds of exotic birds and such. My wife was looking at some kind of Egyptian partridge or such with a determined look on his face and she commented to Mollie who was about 4-5 y/o at the time "That bird looks like he is looking for something." Mollie immediately replied "Yeah. The way out." (Now that made sense when she put it that way.)
Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2011 4WD F150 Ford Lariat PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Stihl 440 Chainsaw, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once

sawguy21

My friend asked the boys if either of them wanted to go in the logging truck with him on a day off from school. They both decided they would rather stay home where it was warm. Then the 9 year old who hates to get dirty said "And you know me dad, I'm a city boy." Dad just walked away, he is a fourth generation truck driver.
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm

Old Greenhorn

Quote from: sawguy21 on March 29, 2021, 10:00:23 PM
My friend asked the boys if either of them wanted to go in the logging truck with him on a day off from school. They both decided they would rather stay home where it was warm. Then the 9 year old who hates to get dirty said "And you know me dad, I'm a city boy." Dad just walked away, he is a fourth generation truck driver.
OH this is precious! WHere did that kid learn that I wonder?
 My Grandsons (3 of them) look forward to turns spending the day in the truck with Dad and fight over it. Right now the 5 y/o seems to be the one that bonds with my daily routine, anything I am doing, he gets into. We took a short walk in the woods today to look at possibly draining some impounded water on my neighbors property above my swamp. So I explained to him about the water level and how deep a trench would have to be to get that water to drain. He put his hands on his hips, swung his head around to look at things again and said "you know.........., that is an AWFUL lot of digging!" I about split my lip open. This kid is smart. I'm gonna keep him around. Yeah that trench would be 5-6' deep to get over the crest of the ridge.
Tom Lindtveit, Woodsman Forest Products
Oscar 328 Band Mill, Husky 350, 450, 562, & 372 (Clone), Mule 3010, and too many hand tools. :) Retired and trying to make a living to stay that way. NYLT Certified.
OK, maybe I'm the woodcutter now.
I work with wood, There is a rumor I might be a woodworker.

Percy

What a great thread!....

While reading a book to my 5 year old grand daughter, I noticed she was looking up at me and not focusing on the book and what I was reading to her  as is normally the case. I thought she was admiring her grand father and his ability to read.....BUT...when I stopped to turn the page, she said "Grampa, you got a moustache growing outta your nose" :D :D :D :D :D :D
GOLDEN RULE : The guy with the gold, makes the rules.

Old Greenhorn

Quote from: Percy on March 29, 2021, 10:25:52 PM
What a great thread!....

While reading a book to my 5 year old grand daughter, I noticed she was looking up at me and not focusing on the book and what I was reading to her  as is normally the case. I thought she was admiring her grand father and his ability to read.....BUT...when I stopped to turn the page, she said "Grampa, you got a moustache growing outta your nose" :D :D :D :D :D :D
Yeah, like that. These things just come out.
Tom Lindtveit, Woodsman Forest Products
Oscar 328 Band Mill, Husky 350, 450, 562, & 372 (Clone), Mule 3010, and too many hand tools. :) Retired and trying to make a living to stay that way. NYLT Certified.
OK, maybe I'm the woodcutter now.
I work with wood, There is a rumor I might be a woodworker.

Wudman

I have two chihuahuas that stick to me like glue.  They get a few bites of people food every now and then.  Taz will take a bite gently from between your fingers.  Buttercup will take your arm off up to your elbow.  The grandson spent the night with us a few days back.  He said "Papa, I hold the food in my hand like this (holding his palm flat with food in the middle) so she doesn't bite my fingers."  Sometimes you need a kid to kick your brain in gear.  No telling how many times I've had a finger nipped.

Wudman
"You may tear down statues and burn buildings but you can't kill the spirit of patriots and when they've had enough this madness will end."
Charlie Daniels
July 4, 2020 (2 days before his death)

SwampDonkey

Just don't tell the kids what you don't want the nosy inquisitive neighbors to know. :D
"No amount of belief makes something a fact." James Randi

1 Thessalonians 5:21

2020 Polaris Ranger 570 to forward firewood, Husqvarna 555 XT Pro, Stihl FS560 clearing saw and continuously thinning my ground, on the side. Grow them trees. (((o)))

dougtrr2

The granddaughter was visiting.  I called her to the window to look at the doe and spotted fawn walking near our house.  She got excited and said "OOOHHH, I want to ride the little one".

Doug in SW IA

aigheadish

My wife just told me a story that her mom told her... I guess my Niece-in-law, probably 3 or 4, was talking to my MIL and told her she wants to be a police officer, when she grows up, because she "wants to help people". About an hour later the kid gets a little quiet, then says "Grandma, I lied earlier, I don't want to be a police officer to help people, it's really so I can drive around and eat donuts all day." 
New Holland LB75b, Husqvarna 455 Rancher, Husqvarna GTH52XLS, Hammerhead 250, Honda VTX1300 for now and probably for sale (let me know if you are interested!)

alan gage

I started mentoring a young boy (Jace) when he was 5 (9 now). At the same time I bought some vacant land bordering the railroad tracks with an old 3 sided horse shed that we used for a fort. One day I started telling him about hobos and how maybe this shed used to be a a hobo jungle and that maybe they still use it now and again.

He was absolutely fascinated by the idea of hobos and talked about them all the time. We learned the words to Big Rock Candy Mountains and listened to it all the time. One day when I was taking him home he looked at me in all sincerity and said, "When I grow up I want to be a hobo." When I heard that I knew I was doing a good job as a mentor.

A few weeks later my neighbor from across the tracks, who could pass for a hobo most days, sees us out and comes walking down the tracks from his house with his scruffy little dog and crosses over right next to our shack for a chat. Jace , who has never seen the guy, all of a sudden gets super excited and starts running towards him, hands waving in the air, yelling out, "A hobo! A hobo! A hobo!"

A little later that summer, after he'd learned about Johnny B Goode and was getting into Bob Dylan we stopped at the local music store and I bought him a harmonica so he could play along with the music. When we got to our land I he grabbed his harmonica, started walking off, and said, "I'm going to go sit by the railroad tracks and play my harmonica like Bob Dylan."

Alan
Timberking B-16, a few chainsaws from small to large, and a Bobcat 873 Skidloader.

alan gage

I wish I could remember 1/10th of the things this kid has said. And the way he says them are perfect.

He's got quite a history. Was born addicted to meth and spent the first five years of his life living with his parents in a very abusive relationship. His grandparents didn't know how bad things were until the wheels completely fell off and the kids (he has a younger brother) were going to go to foster care. They (grandparents) stepped up and adopted Jace and his brother. When I started mentoring him his mother was in jail and dad was who knows where. But they seem to have cleaned up and are back in the picture again and Jace seems to be a normal happy kid.

That little background is for the time Jace was 7. From somewhere he'd just learned about alcohol and what it makes people act like. He was talking about this Bob Dylan music video where in the end this one guy starts throwing plates and dishes and jumping on the furniture and then out the window. He was having a hard time figuring out why someone would do that. Then his eyes light up and he starts rattling a thousand miles an hour, "Maybe he was drunk. That's what people do when they're drunk. They get all crazy and do weird stuff....."  

And I'm chuckling along listening to him talk when suddenly he stops and says, "That's what happened to my mom." And my heart goes out to him and all he's been through and my mind is racing about what to say to him and how to say it and before I can even open my mouth he chirps, "Yeah, she got drunk and thought she owned the town!," and I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing and he just kept on rambling to the next topic.

Again when he was 7 asks me out of the blue, "Wouldn't it be weird to have to wear a ring for the rest of your life?" and I think I know what he's talking about but not quite sure and it's a strange question to answer so I noncommittally answer with, "Yeah, I guess."

"My grandpa's been wearing his ring for 21 years."

"Oh yeah, is that how long he's been married to your grandma?"

"Yes. But my grandma, she's been married three times.....and this time it wasn't for money!"

And this time and can't bite my tongue hard enough not to laugh.

Alan
Timberking B-16, a few chainsaws from small to large, and a Bobcat 873 Skidloader.

Old Greenhorn

One day the middle grandson and I were walking through the snow out to the shop and I said something to him like " wel slow down there buddy! I can't keep up with you. Remember I am an Old Man!" He slowed down, looked up at me with a sad face, let out a heavy sigh and in a low sincere voice said "Yeah, I know." :D
Tom Lindtveit, Woodsman Forest Products
Oscar 328 Band Mill, Husky 350, 450, 562, & 372 (Clone), Mule 3010, and too many hand tools. :) Retired and trying to make a living to stay that way. NYLT Certified.
OK, maybe I'm the woodcutter now.
I work with wood, There is a rumor I might be a woodworker.

WV Sawmiller

   About 3 years ago I took my then 6 y/o gd Mollie fishing with me. We were catching small sunfish for bait and putting them on limblines as live bait for catfish. Fishing for bait is perfect for a kid. We were using 10' fiberglass crappie poles with a BB shot, a float set about a foot deep, a #10 long shank cricket hook and a half inch piece of night crawler for bait. We were pitching them in the rocks in shallow water along the bank below the boat landing. The small green sunfish and bluegills are very aggressive and often barely let the bait hit the water, sometimes attack the float and even a 3-4 inch fish will try to rip the pole out of your hand. We got in one hot spot and Mollie caught 6-7 small fish in a row as quickly as she could get her bait in the water. My job is to position the boat and take the fish off and bait the hook as needed. Mollie was explaining how this fish was the mommy, this one the daddy, then brother, then a couple of sisters, grandma and grandpa, etc. Finally out of the blue I asked her "Mollie, what is the name of this fish you just caught." I figured she'd say Nemo or such but she immediately replied "His name is Marlowe". I don't know where she picked out that name. Anyway we caught 50-60 baitfish and went and baited up my sethooks and left them out for the night. Friends from NC stopped by overnight and I talked Grayson into running my  lines with me the next morning. We had a good catch including one 24 lb flathead. When we got home I showed the fish to Mollie and said "Mollie, I put Marlowe on a hook last night and this big fish came along and ate him. What do you think about that?" She replied "Then that makes him my fish because he ate Marlowe which was my fish."
Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2011 4WD F150 Ford Lariat PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Stihl 440 Chainsaw, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once

GAB

My parents were in an hardware store with one of their grandsons who was 3 or 4 at the time.  Grandson spotted a 2 step step ladder and in a loud voice says to grandma who broke it.  Grandma had a 6 foot one and apparently he thought they should all that size.
GAB
W-M LT40HDD34, SLR, JD 420, JD 950w/loader and Woods backhoe, V3507 Fransguard winch, Cordwood Saw, 18' flat bed trailer, and other toys.

cutterboy

Living on a farm we have always kept some chickens. When my oldest boy was 5 years old he liked the chickens and named two young roosters Frank and Harry. One day my wife wanted a chicken dinner so I killed one of the roosters and she cooked it up. We were concerned my son might be upset about this but as he ate the chicken he said "Mom, this is so good. Is this Frank or Harry?"
I guess we had nothing to worry about.
To underestimate old men and old machines is the folly of youth. Frank C.

Cedarman

My wife and I along with our 6 year old grandson were out marking logs when a rabbit ran by.
Grandson says, "Nana, do they  use rabbits to make Bunny Bread?".  A brand of bread in our area.  We about choked with laughter.
I am in the pink when sawing cedar.

farmfromkansas

 My story is kind of weak compared to all of yours, but I have a 2 yo gd, she is pretty smart and learning all kinds of words, and a few weeks ago we were all at my daughters house, and she was telling the small one how cute she is, and I heard the small one say " I cute". Guess that is how the pretty girls get that attitude.
Most everything I enjoy doing turns out to be work

Old Greenhorn

Yeah, and the next word they teach them is "mastercard". ;D :D
 Kids learning words can be a lot of fun. I have a story about my daughter learning the word 'butterfly' that is a killer, but I can't tell it here because of the language involved.
Tom Lindtveit, Woodsman Forest Products
Oscar 328 Band Mill, Husky 350, 450, 562, & 372 (Clone), Mule 3010, and too many hand tools. :) Retired and trying to make a living to stay that way. NYLT Certified.
OK, maybe I'm the woodcutter now.
I work with wood, There is a rumor I might be a woodworker.

sawguy21

old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm

mike_belben

My daughters first word was a swear that rhymes with spit.   That was a reality check moment!


Here is the boy gettin funky

Disco Kid - YouTube
Praise The Lord

Old Greenhorn

It's amazing the amount of entertainment value that can be derived form a cutoff piece of culvert pipe. This managed to drag then away from the tablets for a long while at least. 

Culvert pipe entertainment - YouTube
 
Tom Lindtveit, Woodsman Forest Products
Oscar 328 Band Mill, Husky 350, 450, 562, & 372 (Clone), Mule 3010, and too many hand tools. :) Retired and trying to make a living to stay that way. NYLT Certified.
OK, maybe I'm the woodcutter now.
I work with wood, There is a rumor I might be a woodworker.

thecfarm

My Father use to say, they get more fun out of the box the toy came in than the toy.  ;D
My Grandson Hunter about 5, boots on, spring time. Water all over the place. He walks into a "puddle". He is standing in it and says, This water is deep. I say, Probably cold too going into your boots.   ;D  Oh well he was happy!!!

Nice videos!!
One went for a ride.    ;D
Model 6020-20hp Manual Thomas bandsaw,TC40A 4wd 40 hp New Holland tractor, 450 Norse Winch, Heatmor 400 OWB,YCC 1978-79

alan gage

Quote from: Old Greenhorn on April 03, 2021, 07:01:55 PM
It's amazing the amount of entertainment value that can be derived form a cutoff piece of culvert pipe. This managed to drag then away from the tablets for a long while at least.

Culvert pipe entertainment - YouTube

We played that game a couple months ago. He thought it was really fun until he wrapped his fingers around the edge of the pipe while we he was getting rolled over the gravel driveway.
I could have told him ahead of time not to but it wouldn't have sunk in. I think he'll remember now.
Alan
Timberking B-16, a few chainsaws from small to large, and a Bobcat 873 Skidloader.

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