The wisest is not always the most knowledgeable.
common knowledge is not common
common knowledge is only common to the area you are in
and the song " God is great, Beer is good, and people are crazy "
what have you found to be true??
Stupid is as stupid does...
Never do mental battle with an unarmed person.
Wisdom comes with age...
Sometimes age comes alone!
The book of Proverbs. You may be surprised by how many sayings we have originate there. For instance, Proverbs 17:28 "Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive."
Ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
Judgement may be up to the Lord but if you keep messing with me I and going to get you an earlier court date.
Never argue with a fool, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
You can't fix stupid.
climbing fools hill.
a fool and his money are soon parted.
best way to prove a fool wrong, let him have at it his way.
That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.
(But it sure can hurt like the dickens!)
There are two types of tired. One that requires sleep the other requires peace.
Common sense is a super power.
"everybody has to die somehow, but you don't have to be a [wimp] about it"
I stole this one from @BargeMonkey (https://forestryforum.com/board/index.php?action=profile;u=24634) and paraphrased a bit from memory.
Quote from: 21incher on October 01, 2021, 06:50:37 PM
You can't fix stupid.
True, but you can elect it to a higher office at the state or federal level.
There are two types of sawyers. Those who try to cut off a piece of their mill, and those who lie about it never happening.
All threads on the FF end up discussing food.
Quote from: Southside on October 01, 2021, 09:57:24 PM
There are two types of sawyers. Those who try to cut off a piece of their mill, and those who lie about it never happening.
All threads on the FF end up discussing food.
I think this is one most of us KNOW to be true.
If you need a tool and don't buy it you will eventually have paid for the tool and not have it.
Grease guns are where you store empty grease cartridges.
Battery powered grease guns are where you store empty grease cartridges and dead batteries.
Quote from: Texas Ranger on October 01, 2021, 04:44:43 PM
Ain't no such thing as a free lunch.
VERY TRUENational debt = 28.827 Trillion Using Pallets with $100 bills stacked 3 foot high = $100 Millionwould make a road of pallets 187.5 miles long5 trillion = a road 33.14 miles longUSA Fed tax Rev = 25.62 miles longI think my math is correct ?I was wrong so I Updated the Numbers
You can't fall out of a mud hole
if wishes were horses paupers would ride.
careful what you wish for
wish in one hand, spit in the other see which gets filled first
marry in haste, repent at leisure
Quote from: Old Greenhorn on October 01, 2021, 09:43:01 PM
"everybody has to die somehow, but you don't have to be a [wimp] about it"
I stole this one from @BargeMonkey (https://forestryforum.com/board/index.php?action=profile;u=24634) and paraphrased a bit from memory.
Actually Tom it goes "You may die today but don't be a B!$@% about it"
A couple winters ago I was dragging my slasher in off the road, I'm in the skidder and my helps in the machine ready to put a leg down, wasn't bad but wasn't good, he keeps waving getting uneasy, I leaned out of the cab and said that, 😆🤦♂️
First I must acknowledge Bargemonkey posting the above at 2:00 AM. You are hereby awarded my respect.
It's certainly not my preferred saying/greeting but I am often told that "smoking will kill you, you know" to which I now can reply that I wish that was what's killing me.
We can circle back to Bargemonkey's saying.
Quote from: Roxie on October 02, 2021, 07:27:11 AM
First I must acknowledge Bargemonkey posting the above at 2:00 AM. You are hereby awarded my respect.
......
That's when he gets in from work. ;D :D
I know! I'd just read the other thread! Maybe he could add another credible saying, "the harder I work, the luckier I get."
DO NOT admire Bargemonkey, he has something seriously wrong with him!😂
Theory of holes - when you're in a hole over your head, stop digging.
The 6 stages of a major project:
1. Enthusiasm
2. Disillusionment
3. Panic
4. Search for the guilty
5. Punishment of the innocent
6. Rewards for the non-participants
Estimate how long a job should take under worse case scenario then double it, you will usually be fairly close. I have been reminded numerous times. ::)
Quote from: sawguy21 on October 02, 2021, 03:30:48 PM
Estimate how long a job should take under worse case scenario then double it, you will usually be fairly close. I have been reminded numerous times. ::)
It depends on who you send or contract to do the work!
GAB
It usually hapens when I get into a job I am not familiar with. I don't need somebody else to mess it up. :D
Don't trust anyone that would rather climb a tree to lie rather than stay on the ground to tell the truth. I worked with an outside sales guy like I'm referring to. What a lowlife.
The truth is easy. You don't have to remember what you lied about because you lived through the truth.
Many people just don't seem to understand that.
Only hurts til the pain goes away
Amish saying on loss, "it is good the Lord takes them because if it was up to us, we'd never let them go."
100% of people who drink water die.
Ban water!!!
When I first was learning the mechanic trade, I was working at a heavy equipment dealer. One day while working on a dozer side frame hammering on a punch trying unsuccessfully to drive something apart, the old guy to turned out to be my mentor walked by. After stopping and watching me flail away away with a small 16oz. nail hammer he finally said "You know when you can figure out what size hammer to use each time, you will have mechanic-in pretty well figured out". I didn't comprehend what he was saying then, but have since found the truth in that statement.
You don't know what you don't know, ya know?
My, ain't that whiskey hot?
Quote from: WV Sawmiller on October 02, 2021, 11:20:55 AM
Theory of holes - when you're in a hole over your head, stop digging.
The 6 stages of a major project:
1. Enthusiasm
2. Disillusionment
3. Panic
4. Search for the guilty
5. Punishment of the innocent
6. Rewards for the non-participants
This pretty well covers my house building project. :D
Good, fast or cheap pick two because you aren't getting all three
Used to say that a lot to potential customers when I was doing carpentry full time.
Our friend @Paul_H (https://forestryforum.com/board/index.php?action=profile;u=199) has that on the showroom wall.
Quote from: HemlockKing on October 03, 2021, 06:09:32 AM
100% of people who drink water die.
Ban water!!!
AND AIR
After keeping the 1 and 4 year old grand kids this one rings true:
Having kids is for the young.
Love them to death but they can wear out a good set of grandparents!
My contractor buddy is fond of saying'"Don't you worry. We'll get this built(fixed) if it takes every dime you've got."
All bleeding stops. Eventually. From my EMT days.
If you have a problem with everybody, everybody's probably not the problem.
The way I heard it from a medical friend in Afghanistan was:
All bleeding stops. The goal of the medical community is to stop the bleeding before the heart stops first. :(
The problem with political jokes is that too often they actually get elected.
Begin, the rest is easy.
Politicians and diapers both need changing often - and for the same reason.
Quote from: Southside on October 03, 2021, 08:03:04 PM
The problem with political jokes is that too often they actually get elected.
I wanted to say something relevant, but I don't want this to go to the restricted area ;) ;D
I hope you have a great Birthday @Tacotodd (https://forestryforum.com/board/index.php?action=profile;u=50744) !
Quote from: Old Greenhorn on October 04, 2021, 05:56:13 AM
I hope you have a great Birthday @Tacotodd (https://forestryforum.com/board/index.php?action=profile;u=50744) !
Thx Tom, I hope that you're having the time of your life! pc_smiley
Happy Happy Birthday Sir! @Tacotodd (https://forestryforum.com/board/index.php?action=profile;u=50744)
Thx guys, really. But to me, it's just anudder day. (say it slowly ::). Besides, you know how us "Arkies" talk)
Good things come to those who wait, but usually it's the things left by those who hustle.
There are 3 sides to a story. There is your side, my side and the right side. It often comes to mind when reading some of the restricted topics!
you can have it right, or right now. Take your pick.
Why is it they always choose right now then complain about not having accurate results?
I think this one was from Larry the Cable guy - The early bird may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
If someone says "the early bird gets the worm" I reply "the early worm gets eaten"
Couple of my favorites from Will Rogers
"Never miss a good chance to shut up."
"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."
D
Quote from Wayne Gretzky " you miss 100% of the shots you don't take"
"You can't catch a rabbit with your dog tied."
If at first you don't succeed, so much for sky diving.
All bleeding stops eventually...
Hickory,
You need to read this thread from the start - already covered a couple times. :D
Quote from: dgdrls on October 04, 2021, 09:13:35 PM
Couple of my favorites from Will Rogers
"Never miss a good chance to shut up."
"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."
D
have you watched the movie, The Story Of Will Rogers
played by his son
Red Skelton is an other good actor
"All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. "
"Stupid should hurt."
Most every time I've done something stupid there was some level of pain involved. Which leads to the next one.
"There's pain that hurts, and pain that alters."
I guess that would be true because if it hurts bad enough, most of the time that teaches you not to do that stupid thing again.
If a man utters a sentence in the forest, and no woman is around to hear it, is he still wrong! :)
Quote from: doc henderson on October 06, 2021, 01:24:01 PM
If a man utters a sentence in the forest, and no woman is around to hear it, is he still wrong! :)
Absolutely! Just ask my wife.
from my High School history teacher, Mr. Follet
"Love makes the world go around, But money makes it go faster"
Ignorance is temporary, stupid is permanent.
Translation: you can teach an ignorant person the correct way and/or they will know better. Stupid is forever.
Another way to look at it: ignorance is only on the surface, stupid is through & through.
I mentioned it on a sister thread but it seems appropriate here too - "Where there's confusion, there's money to be made."
This is a saying that is supposed to make you feel better when something bad happens "it's never so bad that it couldn't be worse" has never worked for me personally.
Quote from: hacknchop on October 07, 2021, 10:03:37 PM
This is a saying that is supposed to make you feel better when something bad happens "it's never so bad that it couldn't be worse" has never worked for me personally.
This one may work better for you, it has for me:
"It could always be worse, and if you wait a little while, it will be"
No good deed goes unpunished.
Quote from: Old Greenhorn on October 08, 2021, 05:54:11 AM
Quote from: hacknchop on October 07, 2021, 10:03:37 PM
This is a saying that is supposed to make you feel better when something bad happens "it's never so bad that it couldn't be worse" has never worked for me personally.
This one may work better for you, it has for me:
"It could always be worse, and if you wait a little while, it will be"
Hopefully corley5 doesn't see this...
One that I always found to ring true after years of working with bad managers who blamed the results of their poor decision making skills on the people under them was:
"The beatings will continue until morale improves'
After due consideration and thought I realized what forced me into retirement. The corporate version of this which I find is extremely true in these recent years is:
"The beatings will continue until profits improve."
Quote from: DDW_OR on October 06, 2021, 10:48:38 AM
Quote from: dgdrls on October 04, 2021, 09:13:35 PM
Couple of my favorites from Will Rogers
"Never miss a good chance to shut up."
"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."
D
have you watched the movie, The Story Of Will Rogers
played by his son
I have not, I'll certainly look for it
Thanks
D
I had a friend that was a builder and went bankrupt . I liked his explanation
" I lost money on every job but tried to make up for it in quantity. "
Growing up it was an honest answer
Q: Why did you do that?
A: Because the chicks dig it. ;D
Quote from: Old Greenhorn on October 08, 2021, 06:50:14 PM
One that I always found to ring true after years of working with bad managers who blamed the results of their poor decision making skills on the people under them was:
"The beatings will continue until morale improves'
After due consideration and thought I realized what forced me into retirement. The corporate version of this which I find is extremely true in these recent years is:
"The beatings will continue until profits improve."
Tom,
The way I heard it in the USMC was "There will be no leave, liberty, mail or pay until morale improves."
Quote from: WV Sawmiller on October 08, 2021, 10:19:59 PM
The way I heard it in the USMC was "There will be no leave, liberty, mail or pay until morale improves."
That's the same thing that my jar head father always told me.
Hickory is the smiley_devil !
A problem encountered is an opportunity granted.
A bird in the hand will get you a dirty hand.
A good tight cross thread is worth two lock washers.
Doug in SW IA
The best way to a mans heart is through his stomach :)
There is more than one way to skin a cat, and the cat hates them all.
Do not do to others as you would not wish done to yourself.
B@llSH@T baffles Brains. We used to use that one on the RR all the time
Quote from: Stephen1 on October 16, 2021, 06:03:13 PM
B@llSH@T baffles Brains. We used to use that one on the RR all the time
We had a variant of that. "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bs."
The best thing about a Colonoscopy is that the next day the worst part is all behind you.... :-X
a poor ride beats a proud walk.
walking ain't crowded
money talks, bs walks
"Nothing is so easy to give, or harder to take- than un-solicited advice."
Quote from: Magicman on October 17, 2021, 03:03:21 PM
The best thing about a Colonoscopy is that the next day the worst part is all behind you.... :-X
@Magicman (https://forestryforum.com/board/index.php?action=profile;u=10011)
Lynn, it's funny that you bring that up, after I had gone through my first one, I did a short "Open Mic" nite summary of the whole experience. The closer was a real hit, as I expounded on the Good and Bad regarding being the last patient on the roster for a given day....
After intimating that at least the equipment was all warmed up, I said: "You know how you can figure out if you were the last patient? I figured it out when I saw two Beer Bottle caps and a roach in the bathroom next morning". It killed....
Steve
You are a badddd man.
Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing.
Quote from: Southside on October 17, 2021, 07:46:48 PM
Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing.
Even if it is a controlled crash landing.
GAB
It is actually a 'controlled impact with terrain'. It is never a crash, those are unprofessional. ;D
Quote from: GAB on October 17, 2021, 07:57:48 PM
Quote from: Southside on October 17, 2021, 07:46:48 PM
Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing.
Even if it is a controlled crash landing.
GAB
Both are better than beating the paramedics to the scene of the crash.
"Being on the ground and wishing you up in the air, is far better than being up in the air and really wishing you were on the ground."
"he who dies with the most toys wins"!
"the only differance between men and boys, is the price of their toys"!
The person with the biggest morgtage when they die wins!
It ain't over till it's over.
Did some research Stephen1. Found out that.
100% of forcloserus were on houses with mortgages. Figure it was a truism.
We were messing with the safety guy at work one day. He requested we get SDS sheets for everything in our building. So we did.
He didn't realize we had the most dangerous stuff on earth in the building.
Dihydrogen monoxide. 100% of people that come in contact with it or ingest it, DIE!
He freaked out and went crazy trying to figure out how to handle and contain it.
This went on for about a month before we had to enlighten him and tell him it is two hydrogen molecules and one oxygen, commonly known as H2O, more commonly known as WATER.
Old workers poem:
Boss makes a dollar
I make a dime
That's why I poop on company time.
Ok, here goes; Idle hands are the devil's work shop [the problem with our country] and for me; 'There is no fool like an old fool' The question; How much should I tighten this bolt? Answer; as tight as you can, then one more turn.
Quote from: Crusarius on October 19, 2021, 09:33:58 AM
We were messing with the safety guy at work one day. He requested we get SDS sheets for everything in our building. So we did.
He didn't realize we had the most dangerous stuff on earth in the building.
Dihydrogen monoxide. 100% of people that come in contact with it or ingest it, DIE!
He freaked out and went crazy trying to figure out how to handle and contain it.
This went on for about a month before we had to enlighten him and tell him it is two hydrogen molecules and one oxygen, commonly known as H2O, more commonly known as WATER.
yea we had a guy at work searching for, thermal printer ink ribbon
:D That safety officer sounds like the one we had to deal with, he always had new solutions looking for a problem. It was fun messing with him.
Seems like the safety officer or whatever a particular company calls them these days are the only source of good entertainment left in the workplace. Some of the practical jokes and gags we would pull on each other a few years ago could get you arrested or fired today for harassment, discrimination, or worse.
Concerning family farm operations.....The first generation buys it, the second generation pays for it, and the third generation loses it. Heart breaking but often true...
Scott B.
Quote from: Crusarius on October 19, 2021, 09:33:58 AM
Dihydrogen monoxide. 100% of people that come in contact with it or ingest it, DIE!
The biggest cause for divorce is marriage
The biggest cause of death is life
Quote from: DDW_OR on October 19, 2021, 02:55:22 PM
Quote from: Crusarius on October 19, 2021, 09:33:58 AM
We were messing with the safety guy at work one day. He requested we get SDS sheets for everything in our building. So we did.
He didn't realize we had the most dangerous stuff on earth in the building.
Dihydrogen monoxide. 100% of people that come in contact with it or ingest it, DIE!
He freaked out and went crazy trying to figure out how to handle and contain it.
This went on for about a month before we had to enlighten him and tell him it is two hydrogen molecules and one oxygen, commonly known as H2O, more commonly known as WATER.
yea we had a guy at work searching for, thermal printer ink ribbon
Thats a good one to :)
The only reason for the safety guy is the major insurance break they get from it.
Old Greenhorn, the stuff we pulled in high school chemistry class would make Fox News these days and have the FBI tactical team kicking in the front door. Never hurt a soul. Can't say the same for some pond ice and a few old hollowed out trees. :-X
Quote from: Crusarius on October 19, 2021, 09:33:58 AMWe were messing with the safety guy at work one day. He requested we get SDS sheets for everything in our building. So we did.
I did this to one of the deans at school a few years ago. By mid-morning I'd forgotten all about it until the assistant principal over facilities informed me the hazmat team was coming. I quickly let her know that we already handled the cleanup. The dean was unhappy with me and my sense of humor.
"Never approach a Bull from the front, a Horse from the rear- or a Fool from any direction..."
"If you ain't the lead dog, the view never changes."
Quote from: olcowhand on October 20, 2021, 05:31:57 AM
"Never approach a Bull from the front, a Horse from the rear- or a Fool from any direction..."
Now that's really a good one and i was brought up with the first two but didn't know the third.
Quote from: upnut on October 19, 2021, 07:14:10 PM
Concerning family farm operations.....The first generation buys it, the second generation pays for it, and the third generation loses it. Heart breaking but often true...
Scott B.
Seen that all too many times
Quote from: moodnacreek on October 20, 2021, 08:39:40 AM
Quote from: olcowhand on October 20, 2021, 05:31:57 AM
"Never approach a Bull from the front, a Horse from the rear- or a Fool from any direction..."
Now that's really a good one and i was brought up with the first two but didn't know the third.
I don't know who authored it, but I figured that's why nobody visits me. I'm either Bull-headed, a Horse's Back-side- or the last one.....
Steve
Quote from: olcowhand on October 21, 2021, 04:48:16 AM
I don't know who authored it, but I figured that's why nobody visits me. I'm either Bull-headed, a Horse's Back-side- or the last one.....
Steve
I'm usually both simultaneously, according to my wife ;)
Yogi Berra is one of my heroes! Here are three gems from Yogi!
You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, you might wind up some place else.
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em.
When you come to a fork in the road . . take it
One that I have been known to blurt out when someone is questioning the pricing on certain items " cheap at half the price".
The only thing worse than paying too much is paying too little
Quote from: hacknchop on October 21, 2021, 12:05:37 PM
One that I have been known to blurt out when someone is questioning the pricing on certain items " cheap at half the price".
ok, I will pay half
:D ;D
Quote from: DDW_OR on October 21, 2021, 01:06:06 PM
Quote from: hacknchop on October 21, 2021, 12:05:37 PM
One that I have been known to blurt out when someone is questioning the pricing on certain items " cheap at half the price".
ok, I will pay half
:D ;D
Today only , two for the price of three....
If you're over sixty years old never trust a fart !
Seems like a young man is always looking for a place to make a dollar and sn old man is always looking for a place to pee!
The last 2 replies are SPOT ON👍
Quote from: jerry sundberg on October 23, 2021, 07:23:15 AM
If you're over six years old never trust a fart !
Sundberg I modified your statement a smidgen.
These are risk/reward oppertunities.
Reward is exercising the pressure relief valve and getting relief.
Risk is leaving a skid mark in the underwear.
GAB
1) A man's got to know his limitations.
2) Too soon old, too late smart.
Just read you signature. By chance did you retire from North Maine Woods?
No, a state Natural Resources agency. 43 years. There have been a few retirees from this agency who have gone to work at NMW. There are some similarities.
Ok. I thought perhaps we had spent a week on the St John one year with a group of others.
News can never be too bad to be true. ::) :-X
Watching the local farmers struggle through a wet fall reminds me what an old farm hand once said..."A dry year will scare you, but a wet year will kill you..."
Scott B.
The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.
Give a fool a badge and gun, he's apt to kill another fool.
A friend will help you move.
A true friend will help you move a body.
The thing I say most is, I am the luckiest guy I know. Because I know so many things I have gotten by with. Like the spring I lost an opener off the planter. Didn't find it till in the fall I looked down at my combine header, and it was riding on the sickle bar.
"The road to hell is paved with the best intentions"
Hardships will be coming soon. It is best to prepare now.