Sometimes All I Can Do is Laugh at Myself

[YellowHammer]

After waiting months for my fancy new Ford Platinum pickumup truck to be delivered, I've finally got it past the break in period and it's time to retire my tried and true Chevy.  The Ford has everything I could want, including a 12" touch screen, steering wheel heater and as I was reminded of today, lots of lightweight aluminum to help it get better fuel mileage.  "Just as strong as the Chevy, but better" as the advertisements proclaimed.  Except..... 

I was reminded of exactly how much aluminum is in the truck today when I went to switch my magnetic Company and DOT signs from my Chevy to my new Ford.  ARGHHH!  I can only laugh at myself, a true Homer Simpson move.  It's like the Ford said "Oh no you don't, you aint putting that thing on me!"  

I thought everyone would enjoy a good laugh.  Old steel Chevy, new aluminum Ford, guess which one the magnetic signs are still on?    :D :D  







  

[Jeff]

Hah! Who'd a thunk.

[DbltreeBelgians]

I was in a funeral procession last year and the funeral home employee walked right past my truck while putting funeral flags on vehicles. He knew. I looked at my wife like why didn't he put a flag on my truck and then I had that ah-ha moment. Duh!!
On another note you're lucky,I'm still waiting for my new F-350 crew 4x4 "Stroke". 
I ordered it April 24th and got word that October 18th was the build date. They said it should be delivered on or before November 5th. We'll see.

Brent

[metalspinner]

My neighbor just got his new F350 delivered. IT IS LOADED - anything and everything that can in, on, or under it.  But I bet he still has an aluminum door  😂

Maybe he will sell it to me in 10, 12 years. 😆

[HemlockKing]

I had no idea the body panels were aluminum, I knew they made them fords with more aluminum now but never cared to look into it as I'm a Toyota guy. Guess it won't be having rocker panel issues

[SawyerTed]

Aluminum is even in the Chevrolet "swing" panels aka doors, hood, tailgate.  

So that sign wouldn't "stick" to the door of a new Chevrolet either.     Just to be sure, I just took magnet out to check the doors on my 2019 Silverado High Country.  Aluminum.

I remember 20 years ago having a new Tahoe.  My children were soccer players.  Like other soccer parents, we decided we needed the league soccer ball logo magnet for the back of our new SUV.  Even back then the lift gates were aluminum!  So that nifty soccer ball league logo had to ride on the rear quarter panel.  : 

Yellowhammer I understand.

[snowstorm]

6.7?  If so there are a couple things about it you my not know. It has a sport mode. Push the traction control twice and it will show sport mode on the screen. The engine brake has two settings. Push it once and it comes on when you tap the breaks and downshifts. Push it twice and as soon as you let off it  it will come on and downshift with out the brake petal.

[firefighter ontheside]

lol.  I'm not sure the aluminum of my 2017 F350 is actually getting me better mileage, but I do like the idea of my aluminum truck.  My 1997 F150 had an aluminum hood.  I think that was the first time they used aluminum in a truck body panel.  They made a big deal of it. 

[YellowHammer]

6If so there are a couple things about it you my not know. It has a sport mode.

Sport Mode?  I'm still trying to get it into Truck Mode.   :D  I had to buy seat covers just to let my dog ride with me because he would mess up the upholstery.  He was starting to feel left out, he made a point of lifting his leg on the Ford's tires every time he walked by.  As of today, my fancy rare Ford Himalayan Sasquatch Leather seat covers are now covered with a piece of fancy Carhartt Canvas.  

I bought some miracle trailer thing that I supposedly mount to the trailer and it will basically back it up with me sleeping.  I guess.  Trouble is all that stuff is still in the little plastic bag.  I don't have time to install all that stuff, I need to get trucking.  

Going from Chevy to Ford is a little difficult.  It's like they decided to swap up all the controls and buttons and put them in the exact opposite places.  I reach for a button where it used to be in the Chevy and it's not there in the Ford.  The other day I was leaving my Nephew in Law's house after dark, and I couldn't get the headlights to turn on.  After all, it was dark.  He opened the door and said "It's automatic, but you've got the button tuned off." I said "What button, how can it be automatic if there's a button?? And if it was automatic, why didn't it turn its own button on?"  He just laughed.  Sometimes I just feel old....

I guess Chevy owners can't use magnetic signs either.  What's the world coming to?  I think I'll just pop rivet the thing on.  That'll sure nuff look Alabama redneck.  

[Resonator]

You could put your company name and numbers in vinyl letters on your back windows, and then just roll them down when you want to go incognito. ;D

[firefighter ontheside]

I will have to try putting my truck in sport mode.  I've had the truck almost 4 years and I've never heard of such a thing.  When I push exhaust brake button once it says exhaust brake on.  When I push it a second time it says brake on auto.  That's what I always do.  Supposedly when you put it in auto it also engages the tow/haul mode, but I always push that button too when i'm hauling a heavy load.  I like to see the light on the dash telling me its on.

[hedgerow]

I remember 50 plus years ago my dad bought a new cabover semi truck that had a aluminum cab on it and him trying to switch the magnet signs off the old steel cab truck and them not sticking and him having to put signs on the fuel tanks that could be changed as he ran trucks under a couple different names as the permits of that time would allow. He had private and common carrier permits. 

[Raider Bill]

YH, you need a full body wrap. Get wild and creative! 

[Bruno of NH]

YH,
Watch how much weight you place on top of the tail gate then sticking down in the bed.
My friends f 250 had a small issue  :D
It's a very nice truck the diesel is very quiet. 

[snowstorm]

Mine had a couple recalls one for the power tailgate. They could come open without pushing the button on the dash or the transponder. The button is below the head light knob two of the others are for the lights on the mirrors.the other recall was for the seat belt lock. They said there was gun power used to lock the belt in a crash and if it went off it could set the carpet a fire. Who knew they had gun power in them

[snowstorm]

The new style tail gate step is a bit better than the older one except when you load your snowmobile with carbide runners on it. The plastic and carbide dose not play well together. 

[Walnut Beast]

The smell of a new truck inside that's always nice 👍

[WV Sawmiller]

   Since it is a Ford and since it is aluminum just go ahead and drill and rivet your sign in place. :D

 I laugh but I am envious since we get "body cancer" real bad up here around the fenders and mine is bubbling up now. A couple years ago when visiting Mom in N. Fla we popped across the state line into Atmore Ala and bought a good used bed for my wife's 2003 Dodge, had it delivered to a local paint and body shop and he got the paint code off her door panel and painted it. We returned 2 months later and he swapped beds.

 I used magnetic door signs and they kept blowing off. I finally had a local lady make me a pair of vinyl door signs. They have paid for themselves many times over. People see them in a parking lot, come see me to talk and get a card or just photograph the sign with contact info and I have picked up several very good jobs from a pair of simple $25 door signs.

[YellowHammer]

I may just make up some yard signs like you say and stick them in the stake pockets of my truck bed.  That would look Alabama for sure.  

After reading the posts, now I know what that little button below the light switch is, it must be the tail gate drop mode, and I guess it won't work while going 60 miles an hour, because I kept hitting it wondering what it was supposed to do. :D :D

I'll also suggest to Ford that they use bigger writing when labeling all the little doo dads, because I can't read them without putting my glasses on while I'm driving.  So where I used to pass the time listening to the radio, now I just start pushing buttons seeing what they will do because I can't read them.  This stupid truck has more buttons than a typewriter!  Buttons everywhere.  

The other night I'm driving at night, and my headlights are in automatic high and low beam mode.  It will automatically switch to high beams, and I mean airport landing strip, scorch your eyes if you look at them, high beams.  When it detects another car's headlights, (or a reflective road sign) it automatically switches to low beams, then as soon as the vehicle passes, it will immediately switch back to high beam mode.  So I'm driving down the road, high beams on, and another truck is approaching, with its high beams on.  I see it switch to low beams.  So as we get closer, my truck switches to low beams too.  Then the other truck blinks its high beams on and off, like I'm blinding him except I'm in auto low beam mode.  I didn't do anything.  Then my truck blinks it high beams back on, then immediately off.  My wife asks me why I'm high beam flashing the other driver, its not nice, and she guesses I made him mad because he's flashing me back.  I tell her, I didn't do anything! The two trucks are either talking to each other using Morse code, or they are mad at each other.   :D :D I didn't even have my hand near the light switch!  Since then, I'm still gun shy, I switched out of auto high beam mode until my truck learns it manners.   :D :D  Is there a way to set the sensitivity on this?

And what about all the cameras?  It's got cameras everywhere!  I'm scared to scratch an embarrassing itch because for all I know it will automatically recored it and put it on the UTube or something.  

And I've got to ask, is it using the perimeter or blind spot cameras to read the speed limits signs when I pass them?  I think it is.  Whenever I pass by a speed limit sign, and I mean within feet of driving by it, the dashboard automatically displays a picture of a speed limit sign with the correct speed, on the screen.  I feel like I'm in the Beverly Hillbillies where Granny used to be mystified by the door bell.  "Every time it rings, thar's someone at the front door.  How's it know?"  Same thing with this speed limit sign thing ...how's it know?? I'm telling you, it creeps me out a little.   

What about the built in spotlights?  Where I live in the hills of North Alabama, there's only one reason for a truck to have a spotlight in it, and the game wardens know when they see a redneck and a spotlight in a truck, they start looking for a dead deer or a deer rifle.  Well, this things got not one, but two spotlights, built right into each mirror!  DanG!  And I can control them with a button as to where they point!  Talk about possibly getting me in hot water.  I can imagine the conversation "Well officer, I was driving down the mountain road, and I see this deer on my truck cameras.  The truck automatically switched its spotlights on, and shined the deer.  Then it must have reflected back out of the deers eyes, because it automatically switched to low beam mode.  Then it chased the deer down, the automatic collision control and steering system kicked in, and the tail gate automatically dropped, and the next thing I know the deer is in the truck bed.  Honestly, I didn't do anything!"

[Resonator]

Speed limits are probably built in navigation, I had a truck route GPS in the semi that did the same thing as soon as you drove past the sign.

[Larry]

  Since it is a Ford and since it is aluminum just go ahead and drill and rivet your sign in place. :D

Hot melt glue would work just as good and be faster!

I think maybe the kind of problem I would like to have, how to attach a sign to a brand new truck. ;D

[snowstorm]

Yes the speed limit shows on the nav screen. No need to know what all the buttons do except the voice button. Just tell the truck what you want it to do. 

[customsawyer]

On my 2017 truck the one that made me about jump out of the truck was the auto windshield wipers. First time they came on and I didn't even know I had them was not good for the heart. I went through the manual and turned a lot of that auto stuff off. I'm pretty sure I know when to turn the wipers on or when to dim the lights.

[btulloh]

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that's having a little trouble getting used to a smart truck.  Mostly I like all the features but I kinda feel like the truck is in charge and not me. 

The first time I was hooking up a trailer was kind of a shocker. I was two-footing the pedals to get the hitch lined up and the traction control decided something was amiss and disabled power to the wheels.  :(  

Not sure if there's aluminum in these Ram trucks or not but I don't use any magnetic signs so not an issue for me.  Interesting how some of these changes in materials, etc. have unintended consequences. 

[WV Sawmiller]

Yes the speed limit shows on the nav screen. No need to know what all the buttons do except the voice button. Just tell the truck what you want it to do.

Great! After all these years having my wife tell me how to drive now my truck is going to want to argue with me too! I hope there is a mute button for at least one of them.

[petefrom bearswamp]

All these comments make me all the more sure I'm keeping my 2014 GMC, which as my wife points out is now "the 7th last truck Im ever going to own."
Pretty basic but has features that I still dont comprehend.
cant imagine having to cope with all new features.

[GAB]

Mr. Milton:
Congratulations on your new wheels.
You obviously had or have more commas in your checking account bottom line than most of us do.
Enjoy!
Gerald

[Old saw fixer]

      I don't need a smart truck, my smart phone and Fluke multimeter are smarter than I am!  My 1992 GMC K1500 Sierra does all I need.

[gspren]

After wrecking my 2014 Toyota in September I got a nearly new 2020 Toyota 4Runner to replace it. This past Sunday we drove it into Maryland and the GPS Lady announced "welcome to Maryland", I wondered how far south I need to go for her to add "Yall" to that such as "welcome to Georgia yall".

[Claybraker]

A smart navigation system would immediately begin directing you toward the nearest Waffle House. My 2017 BMW navigation system is almost entirely voice activated and struggles with my southern drawl. That's the problem with buying an import from Spartanburg South Carolina. Them folks up nawth talk funny.

[SawyerTed]

I'm somewhere in the middle on some of this "technology and stuff" (see 2014 World Series MVP Presentation).  Some of it is great, some of it is just showing off.  I have a new to me 2019 High Country Silverado that does much of what Yellowhammer describes his new truck does.  It really is a "Cowboy Cadillac"

One of my employees here just bought a 2021 F150.  While the buttons are different and the menus are a bit different, many of the functions are exactly alike.  I just wonder if the brains behind all this "technology and stuff" are the same across manufacturers?  Stranger things have happened like the joint transmission development between Chevy and Ford.  

[YellowHammer]

Personally, I think it's just bunch of nerds sitting around and saying "Hey this would be cool."

Here's one that happened to me today, no BS.  My iPhone has apparently mated with the talking lady in the truck.  So everything my cell phone knows or overhears now becomes available to the truck.  Today I was driving and was talking on the truck phone with a buddy, using the Ford internal speaker phone, which is crystal clear, and I mentioned that with the cold weather, it would be a great day to go deer hunting, and I had been seeing lots of good bucks on our farm.  We talked about deer hunting for a bit and then started yakking about other things and our conversation ended, and we hung up.  I eventually pulled up in my driveway, and my phone flashed on and the GPS Google Map app was displayed on the screen.  I had not hit any buttons.  

Guess what it was giving me directions to?  You won't believe this.  It had a map displayed and was giving me an ETA to my nearest deer stand out in the woods, which I had entered as a waypoint several years ago so I could find it better in the dark.  I hadn't even thought about that waypoint in years.  My jaw hit the floor.  This is just more than creepy.  

With all this stuff, I'm almost afraid to turn on the "multi-zone seat massager."  

[newoodguy78]

Don't get me wrong you've got a great looking truck hopefully it serves you well for many years. 
That stuff creeps me out a little bit.
I'm a big fan of throwing my phone in the tractor toolbox when I head to the field for the day. 
Always wonder if those that are listening on the other end ever get tired of hearing a straight piped diesel  ;D

[Southside]

Well that explains why the Game Warden for your area got a notification today too.  That is beyond creepy for sure.  I disabled the On Star on my Chevy and installed an after market version that does not hook up to the GPS or Chevy, just lets me talk through the phone via the radio speakers.  Obviously there is still the Google issue, but at least it's one less connection.  

Something similar happened once when I was giving directions to a customer on how to take "Rt 40" and my phone, which was in the case, on my hip, started to blab about "Highway 40".  Right after that I disabled a ton of app allowances on my phone.  Got all kinds of warnings that the phone would not work, yadda, yadda, yadda.  The only thing that does not work is speaking to text, otherwise evertying else is fine.  I am not going to allow them to spy on me, they will have to work at it.  

[Poquo]

Found a safety feature on my 2016 Ram 1500 the other day I was backing up slowly to a lumber stack opened the door so I could see better the truck stopped. If the driver side door is open the truck won't move, but the passenger side door don't affect it, I didn't try the 2 back doors.

[Tacotodd]

Yet ANOTHER reason why I took the doors OFF of my truck (but I tricked it into thinking that they were on & closed). There's times when a person needs to be able to see better, and it's no different than doorless Jeep's running around. The wife's truck, I ain't touching, but she uses it for her mail delivery as well. Since my phone won't allow me to to post pics (Doc Henderson will back me up on that) you can see it in my gallery. Now if one of the admins (please) will look in my gallery and post it for me, that would be great 👍

[Tacotodd]

Thank you VERY much, MOST appreciated! 8)

[YellowHammer]

That is a true classic, and I love the swing away rear view mirror mount.  You need to move to Bama, you'd fit right in.  

[Hilltop366]

  Since it is a Ford and since it is aluminum just go ahead and drill and rivet your sign in place. :D

Hot melt glue would work just as good and be faster!

I think maybe the kind of problem I would like to have, how to attach a sign to a brand new truck. ;D

I was thinking that it would be just as easy and faster to poke some holes in the door with a nail and hammer.

[Tacotodd]

That is a true classic, and I love the swing away rear view mirror mount.  You need to move to Bama, you'd fit right in.  

I live in Arkansas ya know. Isn't that close enough? After all, I did make to the last pig roast. 16hr up & 36hr back. Caught up in some STUPID traffic. But that's a story all it's own. Not to mention, by the time we were over the 1/2 way back part, we were so tired that we slept in her truck in the very front of a convenience store. At least the employees COULD see if anything was happening to us, not that they would do anything about it.

[Resonator]

Reminds me of Seinfeld when Kramer got ticketed for speeding, running a red light, no license, no registration, no plates, no brake lights, no rear view mirror, and... driving with no doors. "I'm fighting that one!" :D

[mike_belben]

 need to know what all the buttons do except the voice button. Just tell the truck what you want it to do.

"Truck, stop invading my privacy and storing my conversations and routes on servers."

[Tom the Sawyer]

Last year I bought a new SUV, trading in my 2007... what a change in technology.  This one even watches my eyes and will remind me to watch the road, put my hands back on the wheel, take a break after 2 hours of driving, watches for drowsiness.

One thing YH mentioned brought a flashback.  The auto-dimming headlights, recently pretty common, the first ones I ever saw were on late 50s Cadillacs and upper end Buick, Olds, and Pontiacs.  And back then the high/low switch was on the floor.

[YellowHammer]

Wow, mine doesn't do that.  My wife doesn't even do that.....what make and model SUV does that?  I bet it has aluminum doors, also.....does it tell you to take out the garbage and empty the dishwasher? :D :D

[SawyerTed]

Even the Corvair Monza Spyder had auto dimming headlights 

[firefighter ontheside]

My wifes Subaru Forester watches your eyes as you drive.  If you look down it will beep.  If you close your eyes for too long it will beep.  You set your settings for seat and mirrors and it recognizes your face.  When I get in it to drive, it will move the seats and mirrors to where I like them.  It also has cameras or sensors looking down and will beep when the car crosses a paint line without the blinker on.  My truck doesn't do anything like that.

[Hilltop366]

A car sales guy was telling me about the older couple that was trading in their car for a new one, the man asked the sales guy "does the new car have voice activated cruse control like my old one?" the salesman said "I've never heard of that, does your old car really have that?" the man replied "sure it does, everytime I go over the speed limit I hear a voice that says slow the @&%* down!".

[Tom the Sawyer]

Mine is a 2020 Subaru Forester Touring.  Facial recognition, lane monitoring, adaptive cruise control, headlights and backup camera follow the steering wheel, collision avoidance, phone/radio linking, navigation systems, lane monitoring, engine function monitoring, and on and on.  

The quick start guides and manuals for the various security, driver monitoring, vehicle operations, etc., are over 1200 pages.  Delivery introduction is about 45 minutes with an follow up session a month later to answer any questions that come up.  If you come in for the follow up they give you a free gas card.

The one I traded in (with 253,000 miles) had power locks/seats, and a radio.  Culture shock.  

[Tom King]

I use lines on the road to lengthen turn radiuses without thinking about it.  When I drive my Wife's Subaru, it argues with me around every turn.

[newoodguy78]

That would get awfully annoying to me. I just as soon put the vehicle where I want it versus being told where it wants to go  :D

[YellowHammer]

The problem is I'm not one to read manuals.  

So I have to be smarter than the car....which now seems to be a problem...

[btulloh]

"Open the pod bay doors, HAL."

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

[btulloh]

The problem is I'm not one to read manuals.  

So I have to be smarter than the car....which now seems to be a problem...

You can't outsmart it.  You can only hope to coexist. 

[GAB]

The quick start guides and manuals for the various security, driver monitoring, vehicle operations, etc., are over 1200 pages. 

I'd have to be very board to read 1200 pages even if they were only 3" x 5" in size.
Most likely I'd be asleep by page 3.
GAB

[firefighter ontheside]

Same here @Tom the Sawyer 2020 Touring.  We kept the 2014 Forester to drive as a third vehicle.  I drive it to work a lot.  It has 198,000 miles.  I'm driving my truck tonight for the first time since this talk about extra features began.  I'll be trying to engage the sport mode.  That probably won't be good for fuel mileage.

[gspren]

A few weeks ago we had one of those days where it wasn't cold but with high humidity I turned on the defroster in my 2019 F350 "smart truck", defroster worked good but I noticed the steering wheel was getting hot, I had to pull in a parking lot and get out the manual to figure out how to run defrost without automatically turning on the heated steering wheel.

[firefighter ontheside]

That's the one thing that I wish my truck had.  Heated steering wheel.  Of course Cindy's Subaru has it.  If I could have heated steering wheel with my heated seats, I'd rarely use the actual heater.

[btulloh]

Love the heated steering wheel. Not a fan of heated seats for some reason, but both come on automatically with a remote start and temp is below 40 degrees. 

[YellowHammer]

It has a heated steering wheel?  I had vaguely heard that, but couldn't find the switch.  I refuse to look in the manual....even "quick start" guide with a measly 1,200 pages.  Can I just say "Hey you stupid truck, turn on the DanG steering wheel heater??"

And where is the coffee maker?  That's what a truck really needs to keep a driver from becoming drowsy.  Or an electric cattle prod as part of the seat massager.  

I did have an ironic moment yesterday.  I was cruising around, and pushing buttons trying to set the phone, the dashboard  display, satellite radio, speaker balance, everything.  Every now and then the lane assist would shake the steering wheel to remind me to stay in my lane.  I finally got to the menu where I could set up a custom dashboard display page and when I tried to set it, the stupid truck said I couldn't set that while it was moving.  Really??  I can set and scroll through everything else but that...then I really had a heart to heart with Siri.  She wasn't pleased with my language.  

As I'm typing this, a TV commercial comes on with "Hands free cruise control on a GM Denali."  At full cruise speed somebody is supposed to trust their life to a truck, let go of the wheel, and have it pass other vehicles?  That's just getting a little too much.  

Sierra Will Feature Super Cruise Hands-Free Driver Assistance | GMC Life

[Southside]

You need to get yourself some cows again so you can justify a new 9 series JD tractor.  They come with a refigerator built into the cab.  Not bad for $750K 

[YellowHammer]

Does it come with a heated steering wheel?

[Southside]

Dosen't really need one, it has Auto Steer.  If your fields are long enough you will only need to touch the steering wheel about the time you want a sip of coffee so your hands will be warm anyway.  

[gspren]

I actually like the cooled seats in my truck on a hot day, use that more than the heated seats. The switches for the seat are kind of obvious but the control for the steering wheel required the "book" although I'm sure the younger crowd would look it up on their phone.

[firefighter ontheside]

Well, I managed to engage sport mode on the truck I've had for almost 4 years and didnt know it had.  I didn't notice anything different.  Maybe I wasn't driving sporty enough or maybe I never do.  

[WDH]

But I bet you felt Sporty  :D.

[terrifictimbersllc]

Yes the speed limit shows on the nav screen. No need to know what all the buttons do except the voice button. Just tell the truck what you want it to do.

Great! After all these years having my wife tell me how to drive now my truck is going to want to argue with me too! I hope there is a mute button for at least one of them.

My wife reads me sections of the owners manual as we drive along.  Solves the glasses problem too.  :laugh:

[YellowHammer]

I was doing some laughing yesterday, the kind that the Joker would do, just before blowing up Gotham.  We decided it was the day to program the garage door openers.  Ford uses "Homelink" and with a name like that, it must be easy.  Nope.

This was a non event on my old Chevy, I don't even remember doing it.  Three buttons over the dash, three different doors open.  Two garage and one security gate.  No big deal.  

This will be easy because we have a Ford "smart truck."  Right.  So we pull out the manual, and start following the steps, and pushing buttons, counting to Missisippi, nothing.  Lots of blinking lights but no doors respond.  So we try it again and again, and again.  Follow the manual step by step.  I do it.  Then Martha does it.  Nothing.  The lights are blinking, but it's not covered in the manual.  I'm starting to get aggravated, I've got other stuff to do.  So then we pull out the cell phone and check out the Tube, and there are lots of videos on how to program "HomeLink" which isn't good, because if it was easy there wouldn't be lots of videos.  So we wade through them, following them and finally the garage door opens and closes.  

So then the go to the other door and start over and get it programmed in record time.  Success!  We think.  

We get it done, and we celebrate by hitting one of the the buttons in the truck and BOTH doors open!  Then we hit the button and both doors close. :D :D Well crap, and we just both started laughing.  So I tried to clear the rolling code in the opener, climb up in the boat, stand on the console, try not to fall, hit the button for 7 seconds, the button starts flashing, and the code is cleared.  Yeah, sure.  I climb off the boat, hit the button in the truck, and both doors open, except now they are out of sequence, and as one door shuts the other door opens!  It's hilarious and I'm about to self destruct.  So I do the only rational thing, I say we are done, and just reach up and unhook the travel chain so now only one door opens and closes, even though both openers are operating.  Manual override.  Unhook the door.  

On to the next thing...the dreaded security gate.    

This is a high security, roaming code, total pain to program piece of equipment.  It was designed to be hacker proof.  We knew we were in for a fight, especially after the garage door thing.  So we pull the truck to the end of the driveway, about 1/4 mile away and start going through the section in the Ford manual titled "Programming a Gate."  Yes, they actually have a separate section for gate programing.  We follow the manual, step by step, nothing.  We do it again, nothing.  This is stupid.  So we throw the manual on the floor, and go back to the Tube.  No joy.  So now I'm doing it the manual way, and have pulled the front panel off the gate opener, and freeze the rolling codes temporary, and after "introducing" the gate and the truck to each other, as well as burning much of the afternoon, the gate swings open.  Hallelujah!!  We are done!!!

Then we hit the button to close the gate and watch it swing closed, and as soon as it closes, it automatically opens again.  What???. We repeat it.  We tap the button, the gate opens, then after a programmed delay, it closes as it should, but as soon as it does, it automatically opens again.  This is not the behavior we want on a security gate, one that just opens by itself.  We do it again.  Yep the gate closes, then opens again.  No alarms, no buzzer, it just decides to open.  I just start laughing.  Martha starts laughing, and even the dog starts laughing.  So I drive the truck back to the house, and we go in and take a think.  At this point I'm sure it's the stupid truck sending out double codes like the garage door openers, so we take out the Polaris and the gate does it again.  OK, so it's not the truck, now I'm disassembling the opener, (it looks like R2D2 ate a stick of dynamite) and low and behold, find a contact terminal that had corroded and come loose.  Then I found another.  So that's the problem, 2 bad terminals, and I go get my tools and have everything fixed in just a few minutes.  

Then I try to calculate the odds that a commercial security gate opener that has been working flawlessly for 10 maybe 15 years suddenly decided to malfunction the exact time we try to program the Ford truck remotes.  1 in 10 bazillion?  I don't know.  Creepy....again...

I think I'll start playing with Apple Car Play today, Ford says it's the greatest thing since sliced bread.  Yeah, sure it is...

I haven't even got to the "Sport Mode" thing yet....    

[Southside]

I just start laughing.  Martha starts laughing, and even the dog starts laughing.

At this point I expected you to say the truck started laughing so you shot the truck.  :D

[Old Greenhorn]

Hang on a sec: Did you get the gate working with the truck or not? What about the garage doors? There has to be an answer to this issue. Stuff like this makes me crazy. I dread having to adjust my truck clock for DST today, if I remember.
 I have been reading along here and laughing with you, but some of this stuff is wild. What next, backing up your truck settings on the cloud? Glad I only have basic stuff like bluetooth for the phone and not much else. If my truck wouldn't let me back up or move with a door open I would have to shoot it. As it is I have running diatribes with my GPS when it wants to send me on it's own chosen "better route'.
 Good luck, you are a braver man than I. ;D

[sawguy21]

:D I am electronically challenged too, I know just enough to be dangerous. My 05 Ram horn starts blaring and the engine quits if I shift into reverse with the drivers door open, at least I won't tear it off on a stump like my neighbor tried to do.
On another note I received notification that my third Covid shot is available and I can book online, the link is provided. OK I go there, it acknowledges my presence but won't let me enter the information. I tried twice and no joy so sit back have another sip of coffee and chill. Then it appeared like magic, I wasn't waiting long enough for Bill Gates' minions to respond. I want gratification and I want it NOW!

[gspren]

Back to the garage doors, depending on the age/brand door opener you use different method of linking with home link, I just went through this. On our older opener you park near the door and hold a remote near the home link button and hit both together until it links, on the newer openers you need to hit the "learn" button on the opener and then hit the home link within 30 seconds and hold till it flashes. If your opener is on the ceiling of a 16' tall building you will need help, preferably younger. Good luck, it took multiple tries for mine.

[SawyerTed]

My wife's Lincoln has Homelink.  We got the garage door opener replaced shortly after we got the car.  We went through 101 different "ways to program" the Homelink.  It never has worked.  She uses the remote that came with the garage door.  

We even had the garage door guy try it.  His response after a dozen attempts "I've always had trouble with Homelink"

My cell phone and my Chevrolet both work the door opener.

[newoodguy78]

Is the day and age of the controller on the visor gone forever? Don't have a garage currently but never had a problem with them

[Southside]

Never even heard of "Home link".  I do enjoy being a dinosaur.  

[YellowHammer]

I didn't even mess with them today, I needed a break. I got the gate working, but still have bth garage doors open when I hit the button.

[customsawyer]

I have enough troubles with emails and phones. No prayer of being able to deal with these new gadgets. I went along with this new and improved stuff about as far as I care to go. Yet we all know that if I want to keep up with the grand kids that live in different states than I do. I will have to ride along a little further. 

[aigheadish]

Just wait Yellow, it'll likely catch you off guard sometime when it auto-brakes for you. My little 2017 Civic just missed the cutoff for all the "helpers" and while there are a couple that seem like they'd be ok (heated steering wheels are nice!) most of the "helpers" my wife has on her 2020 Honda Passport get shut off immediately or can't be trusted. Her blind spot monitoring systems pick up walls on the highway (then it beeps if I start changing lanes when it thinks there's a car there), there is a "brake, Brake, BRAKE" notification that shows up if I meet oncoming traffic in a turn on an otherwise normal road, stuff like that. It also has the auto-shutoff that turns the vehicle off at any stoplight, that one gets turned off too.

I got an aftermarket seat cooler that is pretty sweet, though factory versions are way better. 

I'm very excited for the day that we decide we've gone too far and we can customize which of these fancy "helpers" we want and which we don't. I'll take heated and cooled seats, cameras, lane keeping assist (that I can turn off), heated steering wheel, heated mirrors, and a screen that doesn't control anything really, just show the cameras, I'd rather my HVAC and radio have real buttons. I'm not a fan of the auto-wipers or auto-headlights. And I certainly don't want my car looking at me to tell me to keep my eyes on the road.