They walk among us

[sawguy21]

I ordered a coffee and an English muffin this morning, the bill came to $3.50. I handed the mature waitress a five, she grabbed the calculator, punched some buttons and gave me my change saying"I should know that but don't". I have to wonder how far she got in school, she seemed bright enough.

[lxskllr]

I like when I give unusual amounts of change to prevent getting pennies, get quarters, or whatever. Some of the clerks act like I stuck a toad in their hand. Turn it over, count it, count it again, then type it into the computer so they know what to do with it  :^D

[WV Sawmiller]

  Yes, it is pitiful. I have them all the time act amazed when they enter the amount in the register and it tells them to return even dollar or quarter amounts and they say "How did you know that." Now they just punch the picture beside the happy meal and type in the amount you gave them and the register/computer tells them what to give back.

[btulloh]

Now I see people that can't count the change total after the register tells them the amount!!

This could get to be really long thread real quick.

[alan gage]

Once I went to a candy store and asked for 1/4 pound of toffee. The young gal (teen) went over to the scale and after a bit she sheepishly asked if this was too much? I looked down and the scale read .15 lbs. I was confused at first until I realized she had no idea that .25 is the same as 1/4. I did get my full order and I think she felt a little silly and learned something.

Alan

[gspren]

  My brother helps at a youth-center for 14 to 18 year olds and when they sign in/out they often ask what time it is so he points at the clock with hands and numbers, most can't tell time unless it's digital.

[coalsmok]

In a meeting with my daughters teachers earlier this year and they basically said they don't teach money in school anymore. When I asked why it was, Everyone uses cards now. Who uses cash? 

[sawguy21]

 : They obviously don't understand how credit cards work. That is sad.

[Raider Bill]

Went to a big box store attempted to pay for my purchases with a company CC. Account is flagged that they need to check the ID of any card users so I gave her my DL.
This doesn't match she says. CC says Bill, DL says William, no can do.
WHAT!!!!
Lady ever hear of Jim/James, Bob/Robert, Bill/William?
Sorry they have to match.
Call your manager.
Manager had some smarts, apologized pretty much for them hiring a idiot.

[Southside]

I can see the other side of that one.  The way many of these companies are these days had it been a stolen card and she accepted it they would fire her and say "The names didn't match".  Seems nobody has your back today.  

[caveman]

One morning near the end of the school year a dean came down to the Ag office.  The students were going through the motions but had basically shut down a week or two prior.  The day before, I printed off an MDS for dihydrogen monoxide (water) and was amusing myself with it.  Anyway, I reported to the dean that we had a chemical spill in the shop and showed her the MDS and suggested she use her radio to let the assistant principal over facilities know.  

I had forgotten about it and was walking across the parking lot a few hours later when I saw the AP.  She informed me that she reported the spill to the district office, Sonny got in touch with the guys who clean up chemical spills and that they were coming soon.  Oops, on my part.  I told her to cancel the cleanup team and that we had it taken care of.  She was still genuinely concerned but I reassured her that it was under control.

The next day it took all of the restraint I could muster to not enter the school's courtyard wearing a Tyvek suit, rubber boots, gloves and a respirator while pushing a mop bucket and carrying a sponge while taking deliberate steps akin to those of Armstrong when he walked on the moon.

Another school story.  This time it was the janitor.  Back in December we had a significant downpour right before lunch.  The storm drain clogged with live oak leaves and other debris and the parking lot was flooding.  The janitor walked in to our little lunch hideout and asked to borrow my rubber boots.  I obliged and following lunch I went out to see if I could help him.  The water was deeper than his my boots so when I arrived on the scene he was standing on the platform of his 48v golf cart which was in water up to the seat while poking around in the rapidly rising, very cold water with a shovel feeling for the drain.  

I put on some shorts, took off my shoes, waded out there and dragged his cart out of the water and located the drain with my bare feet.  My teaching partner got on our old Ford tractor and used the front end bucket to clear the drain.  There were all sorts of things rushing down the hill - floating masses of fire ants, a snake and lots of other stuff.  The janitor eventually was released for something else.  He was a nice guy but was a disaster.  I hate to think how much he cost the school system with all of the equipment he destroyed.  They don't pay these folks but about $11/hour but he probably cost them $75000 a year, if his negligence was factored in.

But wait, there are more if anyone is interested.  (wire wheel on grinder in shirt, janitor girdling citrus trees with weed eater, my reply all email-intended for a select few, arrested bosses, pig thief caught on barn cam, chain hoist wedgee, administrator borrows chainsaw, student stole welding rods thinking they were sparklers, student takes selfie on stolen phone (Dimebag Darrel), students mimicking MTV show involving hedges and books to the head, Ag teacher crashes tractor in her own shop, kid poops in barn - I informed class that it was tested and student responsible needed to get to the Dr. asap, flea market is under attack by incoming airborne citrus fruit, fans will cool kiln??, Zebu roundup, pipe bomb bong, school Deputy and his nightstick, school deputy and his brother's late model racecar, school deputy ratchet arrested for domestic violence, folks releasing gopher tortoises into Gulf)

[btulloh]

Caveman, that is quite a list.  Makes you wonder how these people find work.  Oh - I know - in school administration and elected office.   :D :D

You could start a "Moron of the day" thread when you run out of trees.

Your dihydrogen monoxide reminded me - someone wrote a whole scientific-ish paper on that.  The dangers, like inhalation leads to immediate asphyxiation . . . and so forth.  As a result, a city council in Southern California actually passed an ordnance outlawing it inside city limits.  (Santa Monica is known for this type of thing, but it wasn't them.)  It took a little while for that to get corrected.

[caveman]

I had the list printed off.  I think a 14 year old Michigan student convinced a lot of people to sign a petition to ban H2O after having them read the list.

I do give out Papa John awards in honor of a student who I nicknamed Papa John who was a walking catastrophe.  It is not quite as bad as a dunce cap but the student's name goes on the board beside Papa John Award and remains until the end of the day or someone surpasses the act of stupidity of the previous winner.  One has to Die to earn a Darwin award- hopefully the ridicule, sarcasm and humiliation that I offer will deter potential Darwin Award recipients.

[DelawhereJoe]

I worked with a guy that while framing a house cut a board 3 times (same board all 3 cuts....THE SAME BOARD he cut 3 times) and it was still too short after the 3rd cut.

[Old Greenhorn]

I worked with a guy that while framing a house cut a board 3 times (same board all 3 cuts....THE SAME BOARD he cut 3 times) and it was still too short after the 3rd cut.

Some bidy must have taught him the old adage "Measure once, cut thrice". ;D :D 8)

[barbender]

What's the stolen phone selfie/ Dimebag Darrell reference about?

[gspren]

I worked with a guy that while framing a house cut a board 3 times (same board all 3 cuts....THE SAME BOARD he cut 3 times) and it was still too short after the 3rd cut.

Did the same guy throw any nails away because the heads were on the wrong end? Us smart guys know those nails are for the other side of the house. :D

[caveman]

To set this up, Barbender, you kind of have to know the students involved.  Dallas was about 17 at the time, worked a job after school, built his 4wd Samurai into a formidable off-roader, was very respectful to adults but was still enough of a red neck to be a little rough around the edges.

Dime Bag Darrel was about the same age, had no job besides probably selling the weed that he did not smoke himself, had poor school attendance, and was generally the type of person that if he visited your neighborhood someone was going to be missing some property.

Anyway, Dime Bag was in the class next to mine and most of the students in both classes were in the shop, about 50-60 students, working on wooden toys to give away as Christmas presents to a neighboring school's kindergartners and first graders.  Dallas set his phone on the stool beside the band saw to help another student cut out a wooden car.  A minute or two later he turned around to pick up his phone and it was gone.  This student paid for his own phone and plan.  All of the students were asked if anyone saw the phone.  Everyone was herded into my classroom and the school deputy was called down. Dallas suspected that Dime Bag Darrel took it since he was relatively nearby and he was generally a known dirt bag.  The deputy could not search him without cause and everyone was released to their next class.

A week or two went by and Dallas saved up and bought a new phone.  He was in my class when he came up and said he is getting pictures of Dime Bag Darrel taking pictures of himself and his star shaped upper torso tattoos in front of a bathroom mirror which were showing up on Dallas' new phone.  As luck would have it, Dime Bag Darrel was in the class next door.  We called the deputy, held the classes after the bell.  He was arrested and the phone was recovered.  Can't fix stoopid. It took quite a bit of restraint for Dallas to not go out in the shop and grab a pipe or a handled tool and beat Dime Bag Darrel.  

The local cops solve a lot of crimes using Facebook too.  Stoopid people do stoopid things and win stoopid prizes.

[barbender]

I've often thought that a lot of criminal enterprises would actually be quite hard to get caught at. But criminals tend to not be real high intelligence. For instance, if you're moving a large amount of drugs, do a pre trip inspection on your vehicle. How many of them get caught when they are are pulled over for a broken tail light or something?🙄 

[Resonator]

When I was in school you could use a calculator, but ONLY AFTER you learned how to add, subtract, multiply, and divide without one. Even in Algebra and Trig class you could use one, but still had to show your work on paper how you arrived at the answer. Schools now give kids computers at an early age, and things like handwriting (cursive), are obsolete. The parents don't know what they are being taught without a school computer, textbooks are going the way of the dinosaur.

[Cedarman]

In a few years will any of the kids know what 1/2 past 6 or 1/4 to 8 will mean.

[Magicman]

They already don't know what 2 bits, 4 bits, & 6 bits are.

[Resonator]

But they know there's 8 bits in a byte.  :D

[Roxie]

When I was in my early 20's, I asked my neighbor friend (who had just turned 17) why she didn't have her drivers license.  She told me that no one wanted to teach her to drive.  She was a high honors student, and very bright, so I thought how bad could it be?

We went for a ride with her driving, and me directing our course.  She was doing great, and following every command, until we were getting close to our return.  At a very busy intersection, I reminded her to use her left turn signal, and she replied, "It's okay, I don't need to, I know where I'm going now." 

[lxskllr]

I've got one. This one's embarrassing cause it's my daughter, and I expect better of her... We were driving over a dam, and this was the conversation. Paraphrased, but more or less accurate(D=daughter, M=me)...

D: How do they get the water back to the other side?
M: ?? What do you mean?
D: The water goes out over there(pointing), how do they get it back to the other side?
M: Are you screwing with me?!(A more colorful term was used  :^P  )
D: Sheepish look...
M: The water comes down the river, gets blocked, and is released to the other side. What, did you think it was a big ornamental pond or something?! Pumped back to the other side after release?!?!

I couldn't believe it. I was waiting for the punchline that never came  :^S

On that subject; there *are* dams that work like that. I only read on it quickly, and have been meaning to research it further. An impoundment gets used as a "battery" to store water as backup for a "clean" power system. Can't remember exactly, but probably solar or wind. The water gets pumped back up after use. The obvious problem, is in a perfect system you'll use as much energy getting the water up as you gained bringing it down. Since no system is perfect, you'll use more power. How does that work? Perhaps they generate excess power most of the time, and the water is for emergency use only? Dunno. I think of that every so often. Maybe I'll look it up today.

edit:
Here it is...

This Pumped Storage Power Plant Is A Giant Battery - GE Reports

They kind of gloss over that it's 80% efficient, but I'm assuming that most times the power generated by clean methods exceeds demand.

[gspren]

lxskllr, you don't need to go far to see a huge "pumped storage" facility. Muddy Run in Lancaster Co, PA has a large facility where water is pumped up the hill during periods of low electric demand and then used to generate during periods of high demand. Not sure about now but it was once the largest facility of its kind in the world.

[lxskllr]

I /may/ have driven over that last trip to AK saw shop heading back to the office. I was following gps, so I wasn't super aware of where I was. It was a huge earthen dam, and the downstream side seemed to fall away forever. I kind of wish I stopped for a closer look, but I wanted to get back to the office. I'll be exploring that area more once decent weather gets here. Lots of interesting things to see. I might even pull out my old canoe, and checkout the rocky area below Holtwood dam. That looks really interesting from the road  :^)

[doc henderson]

I find it funny, the few folks here with electric cars that think the electricity just comes out of the wall.  They do not want to believe that the electricity was made with natural gas or coal.  any time you change energy states there is waste in the form of heat, light, noise.  we are getting lots of wind turbines now.  when we would travel, we used to tell the kids we wish they would turn the fans off, cause it is making it kind of windy.  My dad would have us put our hands on the glass in the car when I was young, as we passed by radio towers, and asked if we felt a pain when they all lined up... a window pane.  Kids are on there phones and disengaged any more.  I am sure she knows a few things the other kids don't since her dad is a pain and points them out to her!   @lxskllr 

[Southside]

The 17 year old that came to work for me for a whole 5 hours last week - of which only 2 were actual work - did not know how to use a tape measure.  

[sawguy21]

He had probably never seen one used. I once walked into a service garage (anybody remember those?) and asked the kid for a left handed crescent wrench. He pawed through the tool box pulled out a wrench and said" This is the only kind.. " then the light came on. I quickly left. :D

[btulloh]

SAE or metric crescent wrench?

[doc henderson]

most are metric as they are all made in other countries!!!   :D :D :D

[DelawhereJoe]

While on the subject of adjustable crescent wrenches......they make a crescent wrench with reversible pipe wrench jaw thats also a passthrough ratchet in standard/metric/universal

[Pine Ridge]

Conversation in 1990 between two guys i worked with at a door factory, both were in their 60s. Ralph whips out his tape measure and asks junior " is this still 5/8 s ". Junior replies " no ralph, they changed that while you were on vacation "  !!!!!!!!

[47sawdust]

I gave up asking for 3/8 of a # of cold cuts at the deli counter.Even after giving them the decimal equivalent i'd get a puzzled look.I suppose i'm being cruel.
I thought I'd simplify the process and just ask for 6 slices...well that backfired.I got 6 slices at #2 cut which weighed about 3/4 of a #.

[Magicman]

I order ¾ of a pound here and get a third of a pound.  She said that it was the same thing because her scale said .34 pound.  :  I order either a half or a whole pound.  smiley_dizzy

[Old Greenhorn]

CArefdul MM. if you order 1/2 pound, you might get .05 or 5 pounds, or, by the preceeding logic, you might get .12 pounds. Hard to say. Why must you be so difficult? :D :D :D ;D ;D :D

[Magicman]

They know half a pound so maybe they ain't stoopid, just ignorant. 

[DWyatt]

When I was in college, we would go through a lot of cheap lunch meat so if we told the worker behind the counter we needed 2 lbs and she went over she would try to throw away the extra slice and be worried that we would be upset if it wasn't perfect, not us. She said there was a guy who came in every other day and ordered 1/3 of a lb of ham and if it wasn't perfect he would throw a fit. Being the nerd that I am, I told her to tell him that her scale doesn't measure that accurate in decimals... 0.333333333333333333333333333...... I kid you not, I saw my comment fly over her head and hit the back wall :D

[sawguy21]

The college cafeteria had a cashier that only knew how to make change for a five, some students learned to take advantage by giving her a deuce. She didn't last long.

[lxskllr]

This one's amusing, but I'd chalk it up to ignorance as opposed to stupidity...

At a McDonalds once, I paid for part of my order with a $2 bill. The young girl behind the counter didn't know what to make of it, and called the manager over to ok it  :^D


Not sure what made me think of that, but I also thought it would be fun to get a couple stacks from the bank to troll counter help at stores. Maybe get a couple rolls of Susan Bs for added fun  :^D

[btulloh]

I think you'll have to get Sacagewa's.  All the Susan B's are in a warehouse in Philadelphia due to lack of acceptance.  They might be sending the Sacagawa's there also by now.  

In any case, carry on with your noble mission.   :D

[Jim_Rogers]

One time in the seventies, my father when to the bank and got $100 in $1 bills all with consecutive numbers.
He brought them back to our woodshop and cut out a piece of cardboard the same size as the dollar bills.
He clamped them down in line with this cardboard base and spread glue across the end of the stack.
The glue dried and all the bills were stuck to the cardboard like a note pad.
He then went to his favorite pub and when it was time to pay the bill for a couple of drinks, he'd pull out this stack and peel off enough to cover that round.
The crowd couldn't believe him when he said he just picked them up from the bank and that's the way they are handing them out now-a-days.
You could see a lot of heads turn on that one.

Jim Rogers

[nativewolf]

This one's amusing, but I'd chalk it up to ignorance as opposed to stupidity...

At a McDonalds once, I paid for part of my order with a $2 bill. The young girl behind the counter didn't know what to make of it, and called the manager over to ok it  :^D


Not sure what made me think of that, but I also thought it would be fun to get a couple stacks from the bank to troll counter help at stores. Maybe get a couple rolls of Susan Bs for added fun  :^D

I had a friend whose father was very upset with their landlord.  They had been moved by Corning and could not wait to go back to TX so bridge burning was not an issue.  He would get his whole paycheck cashed in dollar coins, Susan Bs or whatever they had.  He'd pay his rent in coins and throw in quarters and other stuff to make it confusing.

[Magicman]

Jim, several years ago our local bank made up stacks of $1.00 bills like that.  I always liked to get a "book" before we went on vacation.  Eyes would pop when I started peeling off dollar bills.

[btulloh]

Jim, several years ago our local bank made up stacks of $1.00 bills like that.  I always liked to get a "book" before we went on vacation.  Eyes would pop when I started peeling off dollar bills.

Lynn, I know that's not completely accurate.  
You would get the book of $100 bills.   8)

[Magicman]

Where did that DanG decimal come from??  ;D