Care Givers thread

Jim_Rogers · August 20, 2023, 02:37:17 PM

Get well soon.

Jim Rogers

Magicman · August 20, 2023, 04:18:37 PM

PatD and I have wondered how things were with you and Nelda. Thanks for the (alarming) update and we both pray that you are on the mend.

Jeff · August 20, 2023, 04:34:11 PM

Tammy and I were also concerned on how you have been. Good to hear from you. I've been fighting the memory fight too.

thecfarm · August 20, 2023, 06:05:02 PM

Not good.
Wife is going through something.
It's a long word that affects the brain. Might be a slow process, might be a fast one.
No cure, she's on blood thinner.
It also affects here memory. I have to help her think of things.

beenthere · August 20, 2023, 07:13:43 PM

Great to have you back. You have been missed, that is for certain.

pigman · September 07, 2023, 10:21:31 PM

In my post back in December, I said I was going to take care of my wife, Judy, as long as I could. A month ago I reached the point where I could no longer take proper care of her. She is now in a memory care unit at a facility. The BvFTD has progressed to the point where she has almost lost the ability to swallow food. The staff at the facility at first thought she didn't need to be there since she was so high functioning, dressing, bathing etc. By the second week they discovered she was one of the hardest residents to manage because of her behavior. Hospice has been brought in to help. I now believe it will only be a matter of weeks until she passes. Her two daughters live close to the facility, visit daily and help take care of a lot of her needs.

chet · September 07, 2023, 10:56:23 PM

So sorry to hear this. Please know that Judy as well as yourself and family continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.

sawguy21 · September 08, 2023, 12:59:43 AM

I am so sorry, it is very hard to face the inevitable. Please stay in touch as we are here to support and comfort you. It will get easier as time passes but the pain never goes away.

thecfarm · September 08, 2023, 05:17:29 AM

Sad to hear. I will be thinking of you.

Jeff · September 08, 2023, 07:05:29 AM

We love you Bob and Judy.

Texas Ranger · September 08, 2023, 09:21:42 AM

Keep the faith, Bob.

doctorb · September 08, 2023, 09:25:59 AM

So hard. My thoughts are with you, her daughters, and your wife.

red · September 08, 2023, 09:40:10 AM

The toughest job on planet earth . . your in my thoughts and prayers

Magicman · September 08, 2023, 10:03:44 AM

Thank You Bob for the update. Our prayers are with you, Judy, and the daughters.

B.C.C. Lapp · September 08, 2023, 03:00:01 PM

My wife's mom is suffering from alzheimers and so my wife has been spending one or two nights a week with her for quite a while now. The other 5 kids and a few sisters and some granddaughters cover the rest. Recently mom has reached a point where the family cannot safely care for her and she went to a facility with memory care. Its very sad.
Point I wanted to make was that my wife only had to be a care giver a 24 hours a week or 48 at the most. And that was hard enough. Neither of us can imagine facing that alone every day.
All I know is I never want to be a burden in my kids lives. But who ever does or did? Nobody ever plans to be. Stuff happens.
Any time your feeling like the worlds down on you read a little of this thread because brother it can get worse real quick and maybe you dont have so rough as some others after all.
May God bless and keep caregivers everywhere. Got to be a special place in heaven for you all.

trapper · September 08, 2023, 08:58:57 PM

Sorry to hear this. We have fond memories of you and Judy..

customsawyer · September 18, 2023, 06:39:51 AM

Sending thoughts and prayers for all involved.

beenthere · January 13, 2024, 01:58:29 PM

Quote from: pigman on September 07, 2023, 10:21:31 PM
In my post back in December, I said I was going to take care of my wife, Judy, as long as I could. A month ago I reached the point where I could no longer take proper care of her. She is now in a memory care unit at a facility. The BvFTD has progressed to the point where she has almost lost the ability to swallow food. The staff at the facility at first thought she didn't need to be there since she was so high functioning, dressing, bathing etc. By the second week they discovered she was one of the hardest residents to manage because of her behavior. Hospice has been brought in to help. I now believe it will only be a matter of weeks until she passes. Her two daughters live close to the facility, visit daily and help take care of a lot of her needs.

Bob (pigman)
Condolences to you with your loss. Hope you are doing okay at this tough time.
Since your Sept post, have lived with the same experience. Dear wife Carol had to go to memory care beginning of Oct. '23. Sad place to have to put anyone, but the special caring staff were angels by her side. After just 7 weeks, Carol was taken with stroke symptoms to the Madison ER that was capable to treat stroke. After treatment, a ct scan showed brain bleed and was told it was life-ending. Carol passed Dec 7th with awesome hospice care with Carol home at her "happy place" for her last three days.
So I too have joined the widower men on the forum. Miss my Carol a lot after 63 great years together, am getting along okay and very thankful that she is not trapped in memory care where she was not happy.

trapper · January 13, 2024, 05:27:15 PM

Beenthere sorry to hear that. My wife is in good health (I think) but have been thinking I would be lost without here and we have only been married 30 years.

Ron Scott · January 13, 2024, 06:38:16 PM

Sorry to hear of your loss Beenthere. Aging brings such sad times. Prayers are sent.

Old Greenhorn · January 13, 2024, 07:33:54 PM

Beenthere, so very sorry to read this. Even though we may know what is coming, it is never easy and the path there can be very difficult for all. Having worked closely with 3 parents through the process in recent years, and now knowing that my wife and I are approaching, however fast or slowly, the same period. I can't imagine the loss of one's life partner. My thoughts are with all those who are missing the person they tramped through life with, good times and bad. My deepest condolences.

pigman · January 13, 2024, 09:18:10 PM

Kent, I am sorry to hear about the loss of your wife. Yes, I lost my wife. Judy, on December 29th. It was a very hard road the last few months. It was difficult watching her slowly die because she was unable to swallow. She was non verbal the last month, but could wright messages. BvFTD is a very unusual type of dementia. I was with her for only nine years, but we became very close.