A story to share.

[Old Greenhorn]

I wasn't sure where to post this, I could not find a thread it fit into so forgive the new topic just for a simple, and what I think is, a very funny story. I will say, this story is true, not a joke, so I didn't put it in the humor thread. I did confirm the actual story from both sides of the 'incident' for accuracy. Bear with me, YMMV but I found this worth taking the time to write out.
 First some background is necessary. Some know that I have mentioned my friend Bill in another thread. He's a mid 30's jack of all trades, logger arborist, sawyer, builder, heavy equipment type guy. Bill has always had a philosophical issue with the concept of masking up with COIVD. Bill also has an odd sense of humor and a LONG history of messing with people just to get a conversation going. In spite of this habit he does have a heart of gold and helps folks out when they need it at the drop of a hat. So when masks were made mandatory he resisted and when they got really insistent at the local convenience store, he decided to mess with them a little. I have no idea how or why, but he somehow got himself a large full head/helmet/costume mask. The kind that football mascots wear. His looked like a giant squirrel head or something of that sort, and he would wear it into any store or restaurant  that required a mask. I will leave it to you for your thoughts on how this was/is received, but I will say it was/is the full range of human emotion from anger to humor. Bill keeps this 'thing' in the cab of his 550 dump truck, just in case he needs it. That's not the story, but I told you that so I could tell you this:

 SO about a week or so ago, Bill is working at the house next door to my neighbor across the road. It's after dark now and he is just dressing things up and blowing the debris off her driveway. SO he sees the neighbors come home and they are out in the driveway turn around letting the dog out for a 'walk' after dinner or something. Bill decided to walk through the swamp and say 'hello'. So he puts on the 'mask' and walks through the swamp in the dark and comes out between the trees walking up to the wife who has the dog, a 100 pound bull dog/Pitbull mix. Bill makes a growling sound to 'get their attention' because they still haven't seen him even though he is just a few feet away. The dog and the wife both look up and see him at the same time, with the giant squirrel head, poorly lit by the floodlights back on the house. Both the dog and wife freak out at the same time, but the dog, whom they thought would be the 'great protector' nearly knocks the wife on her butt heading for the house and safety. She does likewise but is not nearly as fast as the 'guard dog' and nearly has her arm ripped off as the 'guard dog' takes off to leave her on her own. Bill finally got out into the light and took off his mask and they all realized it was him just being himself an had a good, if not tentative laugh.
 Bill went back to work, the dog has a hard time peeing in the dark now. ;D
 
 For me, the funny part is that Bill didn't tell me this story. I heard it from my neighbor who had a hard time telling it without crying and laughing (I had tears on my cheeks, knowing the parties involved, including the guard dog who LOVEs my right leg). The funny part is that when I challenged Bill that he didn't tell me this story in the 5 times I have seen him since it happened, he just said "What?, it seemed natural. They just came home and took the dog out, so I walked over to say hello. I just thought the mask was a 'formal' touch. I didn't know I would ruin their dog. I don't think much about little stuff like that."
 Now I may not have told it very well, but I still crack up whenever I think about it. :D ;D

[Jeff]

Makes me want a giant squirrel head

[Runningalucas]

Makes me want a giant squirrel head

:D :D :D

[beenthere]

Reminds me of this trick...
Man apparently attempting Bigfoot hoax killed on Montana highway | Reuters

[barbender]

The squirrel head is a very creative response to mask mandates!😂

[Jeff]

I never tried it past the polebarn, but I threatened to. I saved the c-pap mask from a sleep study. You can put it on, and stick the big hose from it over your shoulder and down the back of your pants.

[aigheadish]

That's a great story Tom, I'd be a bit worried about getting shot though!

For what it's worth, at least a couple years ago, you could get mascot heads like that for 17 bucks at Wally-world. Quality of them was surprisingly good! As gross as it is my family happily tossed them on their heads! They also had these giant, photo-realistic baby head masks, just a flat picture of a baby face, about 3 feet tall or something, with a foam backing. Very weird and funny. We'd hide that all over the house to scare each other. Now, my son just bought a posable, 5 foot tall skeleton that is being placed in weird spots. 



 

[samandothers]

 I saved the c-pap mask from a sleep study. You can put it on, and stick the big hose from it over your shoulder and down the back of your pants.

Now this sounds like something teens would do after using something intoxicating!

[YellowHammer]

That would be quite a sight.  

I guess just don't try it with a Milwaukee Bucks mascot head on a night time back country road or you might end up in the back of a pickup truck or getting field dressed by mistake.  

[WDH]

The elephant one and the gator one look awful.  Good thing that there is not a War Eagle one, that would be too much to take on an empty stomach.  

[Old Greenhorn]

OK, I have to update this to keep it honest. Bill just left after stopping by with his wife to take care of some other business. Apparently he had not shared this with her either so when I asked a question about the incident he repeated the whole story for her benefit.
 So for clarification and historical accuracy: The 'head' in question is actually a dog's head. It is pretty beat from bouncing around in the truck cab for a year so it kind of has a grotesque look about it these days. Additionally, it is helpful to know that he was wearing the whole suit. "Why," i asked, "were you wearing the whole suit to blow leaves off the driveway when the homeowner wasn't even home?" Well, she had called him because she has one of those cameras on her house that alerts her when there is movement in her driveway and dogs and deer are setting if off as well as the blowing leaves. So he thought he would show up on her camera dressed as a giant dog blowing off her driveway and she would get a kick out of it. But it was too dark and she couldn't see him. But anyway, he had the full suit on when he walked through the swamp and scared the living bejeezes out of everyone (especially the dog) and they had no way to figure out it was him because of the suit.
 Now I can't wait because this neighbor is having a Halloween party Saturday evening and Bill and his wife will be there. Bill will be the one in the dog suit. Yes, the guard dog will be there too, but we may not see him much. :D ;D :D ;D

[KEC]

Jeff, I hope if you try one of those heads that you will post a picture of it also wearing your signature hat!

[Jeff]

Shared album - Jeff Brokaw - Google Photos

[Old Greenhorn]

Gonna take me a while to get that image out of my head. Maybe I should go look at some of MM's photos to clear my buffer.

[aigheadish]

Haha! Jeff, we had a different faced baby but that one is great and presumably by the same maker. Too funny!

[Tacotodd]

Gonna take me a while to get that image out of my head. Maybe I should go look at some of MM's photos to clear my buffer.

;D

[WV Sawmiller]

The elephant one and the gator one look awful.  Good thing that there is not a War Eagle one, that would be too much to take on an empty stomach.  

It was probably a red and black bulldog suit and head. Its a wonder he did not get shot. :D If there had been one Auburn fan on the jury they'd have let the shooter go as "justifiable homicide" or "self-defense". ;)

[Jeff]

Gonna take me a while to get that image out of my head. Maybe I should go look at some of MM's photos to clear my buffer.

Awe come on!  Let's  Dance!

[gspren]

That story made me think of a Halloween happening that went opposite. I was about 13 and my brother my mom and I were watching tv in the living room with our German Shepard Queenie. Dad was back the hall out of sight and when he appeared he had a full mask on to scare us, Queenie started growling and going for him while dad set a speed record for removing a mask and talking to her. The dog seemed a bit shook up that she was attacking dad and he never tried that trick again. 

[sawguy21]

My dog would bark and hide under the bed!

[Old Greenhorn]

Well I heard the 3rd point of view on this incident this afternoon, from the wife. SHe said at first she was scared, then when she saw it was Bill she laughed and thought, 'yeah, that would have to be him'. but the dog was still freaking out trying to figure out how to get into the safety of the house. They visited for a couple of minutes, then went about their respective business, the dog barking the whole time. For the rest of the night the dog would go into a barking fit at every little noise or if somebody moved too fast. Every time he would start barking the wife was cursing Bill under her breath.

[sawguy21]

The dog definitely needs Prozac and counselling, he has issues. ;D

[moosehunter]

https://forestryforum.com/board/index.php?topic=27755.0

The original "funny story thread" a lot of classics in there.
mh

[Old Greenhorn]

https://forestryforum.com/board/index.php?topic=27755.0

The original "funny story thread" a lot of classics in there.
mh

I had not seen that thread before, at least not the beginning of it.. Your link lead me into a rabbit hole that consumed most of my day. I only made it through the first 4 pages so far. Much better than my little story here.

[moosehunter]

OG, don't sell yourself short, yours was a great story and it was really good to read three different sides of it!
 It just reminded me of the "funny story thread" and thought some newer members might appreciate the read.
mh