Life can change quickly

Patrick NC · August 10, 2022, 02:24:51 PM

Got a call 2 weeks ago from my Mother saying dad wasn't feeling well and was going to the doctor to have some tests. Results came Monday. Advanced prostate cancer that has spread to his liver and bones. He hasn't seen an oncologist yet but the outlook isn't good. I was just there to visit a month ago and everything seemed normal. Kind of a shock how quickly things went south. It's 1000 miles from here to where they live in Northern New York. Luckily I have some money put back and a boss that told me to take all the time I need. Leaving next week to go help out. Not sure how long I'll be, but there's not a whole lot of choice in a situation like this.

moosehunter · August 10, 2022, 02:32:35 PM

A very unfortunate fact of life, our parents will get older and sometimes sick.
Glad you are able to take the time to spend with him and help out.
mh

WV Sawmiller · August 10, 2022, 02:48:37 PM

Patrick,

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I hope you and he have a great time together during the time you each have left. Keep us posted. Trouble shared is halved. Joys shared are doubled.

barbender · August 10, 2022, 02:50:09 PM

Sorry to hear this Patrick. Hopefully the oncologist has treatments available, I'll be praying to that end.

Southside · August 10, 2022, 02:53:07 PM

Sorry to hear that Patrick, went through almost the same thing this month a year ago with my father. Basically had a month, but at least he didn't suffer. My prayers are with you.

Magicman · August 10, 2022, 03:02:31 PM

Oh this is such dreadful news Patrick. My Heart and Prayers are with your entire family during this uncertain time.

Spike60 · August 10, 2022, 04:25:28 PM

This kind of crap is the worst shock. There's a lot more they can do than just a few years ago and it's constantly changing. Sometimes it goes the way of Southside's Dad. Other times people who are written off keep beating the prognosis and go on for years.

I can tell you, that you haven't really had a sleepless night until you've heard your name and "cancer" in the same sentence. Everything changes. It's like BC and AD on the calendar, but it sands for Before Cancer and After Diagnosis. Dad needs a buddy right now, so try and keep his spirits up and positive. You're as important as his oncologist right now.

beenthere · August 10, 2022, 05:09:36 PM

Prayers for your Dad and family.

tawilson · August 10, 2022, 06:30:22 PM

I can personally recommend AMP in Syracuse for prostate cancer treatment.

moodnacreek · August 10, 2022, 08:18:27 PM

Patrick, although we have never met I think of you when I go up over Dannemora and up to rt 11. Be strong for your father. I don't know what else to say, Doug

Bruno of NH · August 11, 2022, 02:45:22 AM

Patrick prayers for your Dad and family. Go help your Dad and keep his spirits in a good way.

Nebraska · August 11, 2022, 08:25:11 AM

Sorry to see this. Praying for your dad.

kantuckid · August 11, 2022, 09:42:03 AM

Hope he has many years to come, it's a concern for all us old farts.

As a senior male:
My annual blood work, done for many reasons, contains prostate information which is used instead of the old finger test and even more recent tests I've had.
Mine are OK, but do provide tell-tale info to use for any concerning prostate related results from that routine blood work.
Mostly I watch cholesterol and renal panel numbers for my own issues.

My hope is that as I age, knock on wood, the annual wellness tests give me some lead time on bad stuff.
Medicare paid for, plus United Healthcare Supplemental pays my wife & me @ $25 ea to do the wellness visits. They used to pay $50 yearly, cheapskates.

Ed_K · August 11, 2022, 03:27:47 PM

So sorry to hear this, I hope you can help your Dad anyway you can.

Poquo · August 11, 2022, 07:35:39 PM

Patrick, prayers for your Dad and family.

Patrick NC · August 11, 2022, 07:59:51 PM

Thanks to everyone for the thoughts and prayers. His oncologist appointment is Monday afternoon. I'll have a better idea of what direction we are going in then.

terrifictimbersllc · August 11, 2022, 08:04:58 PM

Very sorry to hear Patrick. Wishing you all the best.

Walnut Beast · August 11, 2022, 09:34:24 PM

Prayers sent your way!

Tom King · August 12, 2022, 11:07:57 AM

Wishing your family the Best of Luck!

scsmith42 · August 12, 2022, 11:59:11 AM

I'll add your folks to my prayer list. Praying for a complete recovery!

taylorsmissbeehaven · August 12, 2022, 01:56:58 PM

I too am very sorry to read this. Be strong as you can. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family, Brian

CCCLLC · August 12, 2022, 05:58:17 PM

Keep the faith Patrick. Prayers for you and family.

Jim_Rogers · August 12, 2022, 06:56:51 PM

Good luck and hopefully your family will get well soon.
Prayers also.

Jim Rogers

Percy · August 12, 2022, 08:38:55 PM

Hope all goes well and things get better...Being with him is important and you are doing the right thing by going back. Positive karma sent...keep us informed if you can.. smiley_heart smiley_heart

Patrick NC · August 12, 2022, 08:57:35 PM

This thread is proof of the high caliber of people on this forum. Thank you all.

samandothers · August 22, 2022, 11:30:05 AM

I have not been on since before you made this post. I am sorry to hear of your dad's diagnosis. I hope you are with your family now and have some better news.

Patrick NC · August 27, 2022, 08:34:21 PM

I've been up here with my parents since Monday. Dad is very weak, but trying to do things to help. We told him we would take care of everything, but he is a tough old fellow. Trying his best to do everything he used to. Don't think there's much time left, but we are going to make the best of it while we still can.

Southside · August 27, 2022, 08:42:35 PM

Make the time you have memorable, can't say anything more.

beenthere · August 27, 2022, 10:51:47 PM

Let Dad enjoy doing what he can do in the days left for him. Pray that there are many for him to enjoy.
He doesn't enjoy hearing someone say that they will do it for him, as that is sending him a message that he isn't up to snuff. Work with him.
You are a great son to take the time to be there with him.

Guydreads · September 02, 2022, 04:01:42 PM

Prayers for you and fam.

bigblockyeti · September 08, 2022, 06:36:49 PM

Prayers being sent your way. My dad has parkinson's and it was caught early but it's steady, degenerative and irreversible. He can still drive most of the time but those days are numbered and he just can't do what he used to be able to. This isn't nearly as dire as a cancer diagnosis but it does help remind me, our days are limited. We buried grandma a couple weeks ago on her 88th birthday, she was declining predictably and rapidly as of lately. She didn't have to go into assisted living but probably should have and died in her own house. She was lucky in that she got to live a full life and left no regrets as to things she never got to do. Value the time you have.

Patrick NC · September 21, 2022, 07:18:30 PM

Been back in NC for a week now. Had to go back to work. My wife volunteered to stay in New York to help out. I went and got her a new camper and set it up so she could have her own personal space. Dad is set up in the living room because he can't go upstairs anymore. Hospice was called today. Don't expect it to be much longer.
My youngest brother was trying to get them to stay with him in Buffalo, but my Dad wants to stay in his home. He might have gone if it was just him and mom, but he definitely wouldn't have liked it. He asked my wife how long she was going to stay and her exact words were " I'm staying as long as you are." That seemed to ease his mind and allow him to rest. I don't believe I could ask for a better wife. Situations like this show you a person's true character. Don't know what I'd do without her.

bigblockyeti · September 21, 2022, 07:24:14 PM

It sounds like you're making the best of not so great situation. Great that you have a supportive wife that can take care of business for you. More prayers sent your way for you and your whole family.

Tom King · September 21, 2022, 08:08:43 PM

Hugs to you, and a Big one to your Wife.

SawyerTed · September 21, 2022, 09:15:56 PM

Patrick, God be with you all. May He strengthen you and your wife and give you peace. I pray for your Dad for peace and comfort too.

My wife and I both have lost parents after an extended illness. It isn't an easy time.

Nebraska · September 21, 2022, 10:49:45 PM

Hang in there. Sorry for the tough times.

barbender · September 21, 2022, 11:15:53 PM

Sorry for a of this Patrick, but thank God for your wife!

Walnut Beast · September 22, 2022, 04:16:48 AM

Glad your wife can be there to comfort him. Your wife loves you and is very caring!

red · September 22, 2022, 09:39:35 AM

Thoughts and Prayers for you and your Family during this difficult journey

boonesyard · September 22, 2022, 11:17:53 AM

So sorry for what you're going through. Family is everything and thank God we have them to lean on and comfort us. Find the comfort you can

Patrick NC · September 23, 2022, 09:29:58 PM

Family says be prepared anytime now. Thought I was ready, but apparently I'm not. Tough day.

barbender · September 23, 2022, 09:34:17 PM

Sorry Patrick, that's a tough row to hoe.

Guydreads · September 24, 2022, 02:25:19 AM

I... don't even know what to say. I don't want to be the kind of person to say, "I know what you're going through," because I don't. But prayers are being sent up Patrick.

Patrick NC · September 26, 2022, 11:00:34 AM

My father passed away this morning around 2:40am. His fight is over and pain is gone. On my way to New York.

barbender · September 26, 2022, 11:39:43 AM

I'm sorry to hear this Patrick, but thankful that he is no longer in pain. Your family is in my prayers.

firefighter ontheside · September 26, 2022, 12:16:28 PM

I'm sorry for your loss, Patrick.

Southside · September 26, 2022, 12:28:43 PM

My sincere condolences.

Walnut Beast · September 26, 2022, 01:49:01 PM

My condolences. Try and look at all the positives of the past.

scsmith42 · September 26, 2022, 03:33:52 PM

Patrick, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Scott

WV Sawmiller · September 26, 2022, 03:34:24 PM

My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. I hope you and your family can remember the good times you shared with your dad through the years. You and any siblings are his legacy.

terrifictimbersllc · September 26, 2022, 03:55:11 PM

Sorry for your loss, Patrick.

Dennis

bigblockyeti · September 26, 2022, 04:44:43 PM

Patrick,

I'm very sorry to hear this, I know it's difficult for your family but your dad's suffering is now over and he's in a better place. I hope the good memories that can be cherished help overcome the sadness of loss.

RichTired · September 26, 2022, 04:47:54 PM

Patrick,
So sorry, my condolences to you and your family.

Jim_Rogers · September 26, 2022, 04:49:28 PM

Sorry for your loss.

Jim Rogers

Chuck White · September 26, 2022, 05:16:15 PM

My prayers and condolences to you and family Patrick.

boonesyard · September 26, 2022, 05:43:12 PM

Sorry for your loss, condolences.

Ricker · September 26, 2022, 06:10:19 PM

Sorry for your loss Patrick. My sincerest condolences, I can feel for you as I lost my dad in July.

Ron Scott · September 26, 2022, 06:57:08 PM

Prayers sent!

Nebraska · September 26, 2022, 06:57:39 PM

Very sorry for your loss as well. Glad your father is at peace with lord now and not suffering. Safe travels to you and your family.

SawyerTed · September 26, 2022, 07:37:17 PM

Patrick, I'm praying for you and your family that peace and comfort find you. I am so sorry.

Magicman · September 26, 2022, 07:43:43 PM

Patrick, I am so sorry and offer my condolences to you and your family during this difficult time.

Poquo · September 26, 2022, 09:37:02 PM

So sorry for your loss Patrick , you and your family are in our prayers.

Bruno of NH · September 27, 2022, 02:53:17 AM

Patrick
Sorry for your loss , prayers for you and your family.
Bruno

ron barnes · September 27, 2022, 08:17:54 AM

Sorry for your loss. Prayers for the family.

samandothers · September 27, 2022, 09:26:44 AM

sorry for your loss. It is hard losing one's parents. As the grief reduces you will think of him often as you do stuff that remind you of him and enjoy fond memories.

Bricklayer51 · September 27, 2022, 09:50:23 AM

Patrick sorry for your loss i share your feelings my dad passed away last week

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