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General Forestry => General Board => Topic started by: WV Sawmiller on March 03, 2020, 07:18:22 PM

Title: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: WV Sawmiller on March 03, 2020, 07:18:22 PM
   This is intended for the wives on the forum who are looking for a long and happy married life. ;D Feel free to add on to my list any other suggestions in the same vein these are added.

    First to lay some background this advice is for those times when your husband has done something really dumb and damaged or destroyed something else and you saw him do it. (If you didn't witness the actual event this is probably a moot point anyway :D.) He probably already knows he was wrong and is probably duly embarrassed and possibly in some pain so he probably does not need or appreciate being reminded of any of his shortcomings.

Appropriate questions to ask - there are only 2. 
1. Are you okay (I.e. Do you need first aid or medical treatment)? 

2. Is there anything I can do to help fix or repair the damage?

Questions you do not need to ask

1. Didn't I tell you you were going to break that? (Yes, and I trust your advice so much I wanted the whole world to see you were right.)

2. Do you know how long this is going to take to fix? (No, but I am sure I am fixing to find out and I am sure it will be a long time.)

3. Do you know how much this is going to cost to repair or replace? (No but I am sure it is a lot more than either of us are expecting or can afford.)

4. Are you going to listen to me from now on? (No, not while I'm on a roll like this.)

5. Aren't you ashamed of yourself? (Why, nobody but you and I witnessed it and anybody who knows me very well would have expected it?)

    Feel free to add on other related observations and recommendations here. :D :D
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: Magicman on March 03, 2020, 07:35:12 PM
 
(https://forestryforum.com/gallery/albums/userpics/20011/IMG_0245.JPG?easyrotate_cache=1458339672)
 
I say nothing.....
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: jeepcj779 on March 03, 2020, 07:58:54 PM
What did you break?
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: WV Sawmiller on March 03, 2020, 08:36:39 PM
   My most recent issue was knocking down a rock pile/locust dam at the bridge over the creek in front of our house. Of course I waited till Becky was taking a bag of trash to the barrel by the road so she was 50' away when I did it but I digress... :D :D :D
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: Nebraska on March 03, 2020, 09:24:28 PM
Oh, I so feel your pain. When it's witnessed it is so much worse.
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: Southside on March 03, 2020, 09:41:09 PM
I don't know about that - at least the pain happens all at once.  Seems much worse when you have to fess up and begin with "Need to tell you about something....." :D
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: jeepcj779 on March 03, 2020, 09:42:37 PM
I've got one:

Make sure to let us know when we have done something really smart or something you are impressed with, not just when we have done something stupid.
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: WV Sawmiller on March 03, 2020, 10:30:39 PM
   I take it you have never been married. :D :D :D
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: doc henderson on March 03, 2020, 10:45:25 PM
If a man speaks in the forest, and no woman is around to hear it, is he still wrong! :)
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: jeepcj779 on March 03, 2020, 11:37:25 PM
WV,
Twice! I guess I should have known better after the first one. Just wishful thinking.
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: WV Sawmiller on March 04, 2020, 01:46:28 AM
   Keep making suggestions like the last one and you'll be working on #3 before you know it. :D :D
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: jeepcj779 on March 04, 2020, 02:20:59 AM
I won't get a #3 if #2 does not work out. I'm dumb, but not that dumb.
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: 47sawdust on March 04, 2020, 05:54:28 AM
We have the perfect marriage.I always get in the last word.
"Yes,dear".
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: stumpy on March 04, 2020, 07:08:37 AM
My wife wanted a black car, I wanted a white car so we compromised ...... We got a black car
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: WV Sawmiller on March 04, 2020, 08:42:33 AM
  Kind of like the old saying "I'm the man of this house and I wear the pants in this family (when my wife lets me)."
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: GAB on March 04, 2020, 09:44:55 AM
Quote from: jeepcj779 on March 04, 2020, 02:20:59 AM
I won't get a #3 if #2 does not work out. I'm dumb, but not that dumb.
Instead of "I'm dumb, but not that dumb" you should have written: I'm a slow learner, but not that slow.
GAB
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: Skip on March 04, 2020, 10:52:39 AM
I run my house ! ( run the sweeper, washing machine, dishwasher ) .
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: jeepcj779 on March 04, 2020, 11:03:09 AM
GAB,
 That makes more sense.
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: SawyerTed on March 04, 2020, 02:43:30 PM
 popcorn_smiley  As sure as I comment, that dang Murphy will show up and ruin my day.  I'll just stay over here out of the way.  I don't need the Admiral seeing any more stupid Ted tricks!

I'm the Captain of this vessel ...... she is the Admiral!
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: Southside on March 04, 2020, 03:51:15 PM
I can't find the clip but back when he was the Governator Arnold was doing an interview and talking about Maria having a political poster in his house that he disagreed with and how he hollered that he was "the Governor and the man of the house", etc and this was not going to be hanging in his house. It was a late night show and the shocked host asked him what Maria said in response and Arnold just said "Oh - she was not home at the time" to an audience roar of laughter.  
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: scsmith42 on March 04, 2020, 04:12:17 PM
"I told you that you were going to get stuck..."

And the reason that I know this is explained here.  Response #25

https://forestryforum.com/board/index.php?topic=16250.msg290086#msg290086 (https://forestryforum.com/board/index.php?topic=16250.msg290086#msg290086)
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: SawyerTed on March 05, 2020, 09:26:41 PM
I can't make any excuses because she knows what she's doing!  Best saw guy on a job that I've ever had!


(https://forestryforum.com/gallery/albums/userpics/48503/F5F2C412-E224-4563-982A-9AA8980707C2.jpeg?easyrotate_cache=1583461561)
 
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: Don P on March 05, 2020, 10:44:30 PM
Michelle and I have worked together quite a bit. On one job I had blown the bid, we were in about the second week of "building for the fun of it". I was up in the porch rafters calling out strings of lengths for angled gable end studs. Standing on the porch carry beam, bent over double, reaching around and nailing underneath to install them, I was in a foul mood. She was cutting, climbing and bringing me stacks of the little studs and I got to one location and couldn't find the stud. I called it out again and she said "I already cut that one". "I don't have it cut me another one "DanG it!".

Oh yeah, my maker brought that gun down right on my finger as I pulled the trigger (that'll shut him up). My sweetwife simply looked up and said "Don't bleed on the logs" :D
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: Magicman on March 07, 2020, 04:28:40 PM
A couple went out for dinner in a fine restaurant. After being seated the husband noticed a woman a few tables over, sitting alone and drinking but not eating. There were several empty cocktail glasses in front of her and she could barely sit up. The husband kept glancing over and finally his wife asked, "Do you know her?" The husband replied, "Yes. That's my ex-wife. When we divorced 7 years ago, I heard she took to drinking and hasn't been sober a day since." The wife replied, "My goodness. You would think the woman couldn't go on celebrating that long."
Title: Re: Marriage counseling - advice for the wives
Post by: coalsmok on March 13, 2020, 01:39:23 PM
I backed into my wife's four runner one morning with the four wheeler. I went ahead and got the feeding done so the cows would at least have a meal when she killed me. She loved that car but I guess she loves me more, I'm still here