My daughter-in-law was in labor for 20hrs before a C-section was done past saturday, when they got the baby out, they had crushed the skull so badly that blood is hemorrhaging into the skull between brain lining and the skull bones. They need to keep giving the baby blood to make up for the bleeding.
They think that no brain damage was/is done but will not know for sure until the child is 6months old if it will live that long.
The mother-in-law is dead set against getting a lawyer but has no money to take care of a damaged child if it needs constant care later in life.
Being the grandfather, what would you do?
Man that is tragic, I had a situation when my wife was giving birth to our first, he was reversed (not breach but face down) She had been in labor about the same time and was exhausted couldnt push, too late for C-section and they got out a suction machine to "pull his head and move him around" and I could see the panic in the nurses faces (I am crying just thinking aobut it now) I could see the doc working fast. I had just seen a 48 hours special on the death of a child via one of these machines that had malfunctioned. THe last thing I did before I blacked out was write the serial # of the machine on my hand. I hit the floor the world went dark and my last bit of conscienceness said "you gotta get up, you gotta know whats happening". AS I came to I could see they where not in fact using the machine but #$%^ it was touch and go. He made it out , she made it through, but boy this "birthing " thing is not a walk in the park.
I dunno what to say other than I feel for you. We are older parents and our kids are all healthy (thank God) and I will say a prayer for you and your daughter and the baby. Your approach about "means to care finacially is the right approach" and not to be punitive in your quest, if it comes to that. I gotta say that job of being an OBGYN doc would not be for me.
God bless, Ironwood
We just got word that the baby, my only grandson, is brain dead.
D I'm so sorry to hear this. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.
That's really tragic. I just saw my sister this past weekend and she is a supervisor in a pediatric intensive care unit and I am sure it's difficult even for the nurses to loose one like that. Those intensive care units can do some amazing rescues of infants but sometimes it's just beyond even their expertise.
As far as what to do now, I am sorry to say that you probably would regret it if you did not get a good lawyer to find out the facts of what happened. The hospitals lawyers will do what they can to protect the hospital and doctors from liability and you will need help on your side to get the real story. Sadily right now it's CYA for the hospital. Perhaps it was unavoidable, but perhaps not.
OB/GYN doctors have very high malpractice insurance rates. Most of it has to do with sympathy settlements for the care of partially incapacitated infants which may not be the fault of the doctor or the delivery. But then there are tragic mistakes and there is little room for error.
Oh and I forgot to add this. Getting a lawyer is not about any settlement you may get as the money will not bring back your grandchild or child. It's about the peace of mind of knowing what really happened. Without that knowledge it may be hard to live with the tragedy.
I am so so sorry for your loss. ........
Ironwood
:'(
My heart goes out to you and yours. Life at times is very difficult to understand. My mom use to tell me that god does things for a reason,,,,,,but sometimes it just isnt fair.
I'm very sorry to hear this, it's a very tough thing to go through.
Our thoughts are with you and your family.
Very sorry for your loss, as well as your family's loss.
My son works in a children's hospital in pediatrics intensive care. He has to work between parents and Drs. all the time, dealing with situations very similar to yours. Theirs is not an easy life either. A loss is a loss, regardless of how it comes about.
Brings tears just thinking and knowing about your frustration.
I'm just at a loss for words.
My condolences to all of you. It must be a terrible blow to the entire family, especially the mother, who must feel that she did something wrong. I hope that you can all work toward pulling the family together.
That is truly terrible to hear, my deepest condolences to you and your family.
I am truley sad to hear this.
I am really sorry to hear this. My condolences to you and your family
This is tragic. I am truly sorry for you and your family.
i dont have anything to say to help you all, except you are in my prayers now.
seems like some doctors are on top of things and some are not. i went thru similar trials with my second son. and i do understand your thoughts totally.
This is heart breaking, I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandson. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I am so sorry to hear that. Condolences from me and my family.
Yes, get a good lawyer as soon as possible. I am very sorry to hear of your family's loss. My wife & I will be praying for you all.
Sir, My heart goes out to you and your family. Prayers have been offered up for peace and comfort during this trial...
I feel bad too.
D._Frederick, I'm not sure the words exist that would express my feelings adequately, so I'll just say that I'm very, very sorry for your loss. :'(
In answer to your original question, I'm not sure that it would be your place, as a Grandfather, to sue for damages. That would most likely be the role of the Parents, in the eyes of the Law. I would think that your role would be more of a supportive one, at this point, and that you should encourage them to take whatever road they consider to be the high one. Their psychological wellbeing is the most important thing right now. I am sure that they will be due some sort of recompense for their suffering, as well as their financial losses that they will doubtless incur. Support and comfort them as best you can, and your ForestryForum family will do the same for you.
So sorry to hear this. My prayers are with you and your family.
Sorry for your loss and I will pray for you and your family. I think DanG answered your first question best.
So sorry.
D_Frederick,
Our hearts ache with the thought of what you and your family are going through. Our prayers are for your daughter and her husband, that they may have the strength to get though this difficult time. Things will never be the same but with God's blessing things will get better.
If a lawyer is needed, help your daughter get one that will look after her best interests in this case.
May the Lord grace you and your family with the ability to get past this tragedy.
Herb
What a horrible thing to endure. I would think that one would want to know everything that led to this outcome.
I am so very sorry.
Gosh, words seem so inadequate. I am so very sorry for you and your family. :'(
My heart goes out to you and your entire family. May God give you peace.
"D", know first hand, exactly what you are going through.
Heartfelt Condolences to your entire family.
The Memorial services for our grandson where held Saturday and my wife and I want to thank all of you that took the time to help us in our time of need.
Now for the REST OF THE STORY.
My son and his mother-in law overrode us on everything that we suggested. They were unwilling to hire a malpractice lawyer or to have an autopsy done on the babies crushed head. They had the baby heart, eyes, and other parts donated for other sick children to use, then had the remains cremated. All evidence of this baby ever being with us is now gone.
The death of my grandson is the direct result of a genetic defect that the mother-in-law passed along to her daughter, here pelvic bones are fused together so that they will not open up for a child to pass through and the daughter inhered this defect. The daughter's doctor was told of the mother-in-law's pelvic bone not being normal, but no tests were done on the daughter. The doctors at this OGY clinic run it like a dog and cat hospital, one doctor is on call 24 hours a day, so my daughter-in -law had a different doctor each day she was in the hospital. It's a case of " to many cooks spoiling the broth". They loaded my daughter-in-law up with so much of the drug to bring on labor that the strong contractions forced the baby where it could not go, crushing his skull in 9 places like a dropped egg. They require that the mother be in labor 20 hours before they are allowed to do a C-section. My grandson's fate was sealed the moment his mother walked into that hospital.
The problem I have is that these so called doctors are going to end up with not even as slap-on-hand and to add insult- to-injury my son is going to have to pay for it.
I am so sorry D.
Us, too. We are with you.
D,
Prayers and moral support from NW Michigan. Sorry for your dilemma.
Norm