The Forestry Forum

Now that most of you have no leaves, What is this?

A house fly ?

Kevin !!!

You're 33 1/3 percent correct. :D

sweetgum

Yep, that is sweet gum.  You got it Leeb.

Now to complete the puzzle,
                                                     

Coleoptera!
8) 8) 8)

Hemiptera

No, but I'll help you out.  How about starting with Dictyoptera. :-X

Tom, if that ain't a beetle I don't know what it could be. It has hardened elytra for crying out loud! :o Their ain't no such word as Dictyoptera! Sheesh! Ya trying to confuse the exspurt? Huh?  ::)
 :P  Is it a Tumblebug....or a stinkbug.....or a blackbug? Or maybe a Sweetgumleafborer..... :-/

OK, Charlie.  Your eyes must be pretty good.  Hmm Hardened Elytra huh, Hemiptera and homoptera share that trait to some extent with Coleoptera but Dictyoptera doesn't quite make it.  The first pair of wings are denser than the second but not hardened.  This is Blatteria, commonly called a cock roach but in its early nymphal stage.  I think it was a brown banded roach but I am not familiar enough anymore to make an identification without a picture.

Ya'll don't have many of these critters outside way up there do you? :D

Well, that jes' plum warn't fair. A young nymphalmaniac cockroach. How in the name of the picture on a quarter do you expect us to figger that out 'specially when the picture was so tiny. SHEESH! >:(  If it twere a cockroach.....I hope you squshed him.............. ;D   We don't have roaches up here that I know of....but we got lots and lots of spiders. :-/

I cut down a tree for only $50 because I thought it was a maple. After seeing the little burrs/nuts I then realized I made a mistake ... I see it has a medium firewood rating, so I guess all is not lost. Supposedly it is good for furniture, though considering all the oak I am cutting up, I can not see using it for anything except for trim.

Is it really sweet and tastes like gum if we chew the seeds?
:-D

(https://forestryforum.com/images/04_01_03/sweetgum.jpg)

Wasn't Coleoptera some woman that rode her horse around the town square in the alltogether?

That was Lady Godiva,and she knew exactly what she was doing,where Coleoptera, was in denial.

Thanks Paul,

That stuff was always hard for me to remember.  Which one of them gals was it that was carring on with that French dude Neopolitan?

Coleoptera was that Egypt gal, wasn't she?  

Yeah. She got snakebit down in tha river swamp. :-/

Noble,I believe Neopolitans girl was Jehosaphat.Kind of a nervous,jumpy type.

Paul,

Jumping Jeosephat !!   ???      Doesn't ring a bell.   I must have missed Sunday school the week they had that lesson.

I'll take your word for it though.  

geography is more my field but I'm forgetting some of that too.  I was looking on the members map and I can't remember which one is Alaska and which is Hiwaaee.  Which is SE of Texas and which is SW?

Oh shoot,  I figgered it out.  I pushed Andy Fields name and the one SW of Texas had a tree turn red---------I'm no Punkinhead 8)

I thought that Jehosaphat jumped or something along the lines of Joshua blowing down the walls :-/ I just checked Kings and Chronicles and couldn't find anything of the sort.

Now I'm wondering where that saying originated from?

But we're getting off track.Coleoptera,she came from SE of Texas.

Jehosaphat was a wealthy king of Jerusalem. One day an army from the east march on Jerusalem to take his gold. Jehosaphat told the people not to worry that the battle would be his and Judas's on the following day. The people let out a joyous cry "Great Jumping Jehosaphat" . :D :D :D

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jehosaphat, King of Judah, was said to have lept up from his throne whenever he saw a torah scholar and embraced him and kissed him, calling  him "Father Father!" and "Rabbi! Rabbi!"; and "Mari! Mari!"  (i.e., "My lord! My lord!" in Aramaic.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
hmmmmmmmm-m-m-mmmm

And I'll bet that the gold was hidden in Noah's Ark of the covenant,huh Tom ;)

Actually because of its weight, the anchor of noah's ark was made of gold.  It dragged on the bottom after the flood and hung up on Arrarat and jarred Noah so bad that he convened with the lord to beg for his life. They arrived at a miscible agreement only if Noah would rename the Ark to "The Ark of the Covenant" to honor this convening.  It was previously called by Noah, "The Arc of a Circle" but God never did like that. :)

Tom,I don't know where you are gideon your information,but you might want to run for cover! :D

So the gold anchor hung up on Arafat?  I knew he was old, but, Jeepers!  Maybe that explains why he wears a tablecloth on his head. :P

All them Philadelphians wear those tablecloths on their heads. That's why there's no red-necked philadelphians. ;D

I was there the Sunday they told about Samson putting all them critters on the big boat and Joan of deArc giving him a haircut.  It caused him to go blind or have visions of sugarplums or sumpthin.

I know sampson had a problem with his haircut, but, I was always told that that (double word sentence) wasn't what made you go blind. :P  It's got something to do with Bait'n fish hooks.

Yeah, I heard he was a master at that. :D

I think he died having a piller fight.

I think you guys might be getting confused with Joaner  (  not the same as joaner DeArc)  Joaner was the fish bait guy.  God told him to go someplace to do something but he said " No,  I think I'll go fishin"

I thought he was the one that slew all them Philadelphians with the jawbone of his ass....or was that Jeremiah D. Bullfrog?

Careful DanG,he was a good freind of mine.

Paul is he the same one that always brings wine to the party, you know the one where it never runs out. He must be related to the fish guy cause the fish lasted a long time too.

That's some story, Dang.  I don't believe it.  You know you don't have a Jawbone in your Ass. :P

Shouldn't need it with grits.My understanding is you hardly need to chew them in the first place.

Well, that's just what I heard, Tom. I really don't know where he kept the thing. ???

Well,  hate to spoil the fun,  but back on topic--------

See this here Adam and Even were strolling through the garden when she offered him a piece of gum.  He asked was it sugarless and she said it was sweet gum.  God had put him on a diet and he wasn't supposed to chew sweet gum.  Well I'm not real sure that's factual,  might have been so he wouldn't get cavaties.  Anyhow after that God made them wear fig leaves to keep from getting incandescent exposure.

I thought the topic was Coleoptera. :-/ Seems she was caught in a real love triangle. First,the Roman emperor,Julius seezer,then Marc Anthony barged in and stabbed him in the back,with the help of some Senators(I think Teddy might have been involved,or they used his jawbone or sumpthin)

They may or may not have been chewing sweetgum,but I think they were wearing fig leaves and were drunk on wine made by some frog(s)

If Coleoptera came from SE Texas then that may the problem with our understanding of what the real story is.  You see.. Ole Julias and Marc Anthony came from Georgia, up around Rome somewhere I hear.  There must have been a tremendous strain on communications between them and Coleoptera what with the big language difference and all that. Just gettin' through Alabama and Mississippi would have been a really confusing chore and Loueezianna would have pretty much discombobulated the entire communication effort.

It might not have been Sweet Gum that cause so many problems after all.  Liquid Amber is another description for the chewing resin or hard-drink and that stuff they make in SE Texas is kinda yellowish whereas that stuff from Georgia is crystal clear. I can see how there might have been some confusion.

It's a good thing God has a sense of humor. ;D

Now I'm really confused.Who is Amber,or was that a pet name for Coleoptera?

And as far as texas,we were told to render unto Ceasar, that which is Caesars.Obviously Amber didn't,cause she wouldn't be liquid.

Aint Rome somewhere in Alaska,which is SW of Texas?

I beginning to become confused some too.  I didn't know we were talking about a hog killing.  Who was God telling to render Julius' stuff?  Was it Coleoptera that was making the soap?  I thought she was higher up the totem than that and had some of her own to do the rendering.  Maybe that's where Marc came into the picture.

Yeah, this is getting a little confusing.  I always did have trouble with classroom work. :)

What's the Lord doing in Texas anyway?

I'm starting to think that Charlie is behind all this.He came in and shouted,

Coleoptera

and then he left,throwing your whole thread into disarray and datarray.

I heard soap doesn't wash well with ol' Liquid Amber,but render a little hog fat and she'll come clean and remove unsightly Marcs.

That Marc was a unsightly one, for a fact!  Last I heard, he was roamin' around SE Texas wearing little else but a miniskirt an' a tin dickie!  I'm surprised Coleoptera had anything to do with him to start with. I guess it was to get back at Julius about the renderin' episode. Anyway, Marc took her on a boat ride and got them stranded, 'cause he didn't know the river run the wrong way, and she got her asp on her shoulder about it.
Things didn't go much better back at the hog killin' in Rome, Ga.  They had just about polished off the bbq, and there was only 3 pork chops left. Brutus et two of'em and Julius got his toga all in a twist about that.
Come to think about it, they weren't real pleasant folks, anyway.

I heard about the fight at the BBQ.It was the last thing Julius said to Brutus,and I understand they haven't spoken since.I think that Brutus,to his credit,was more than willing to bury the hatchet.

Can it really be called a BBQ if it's Pork? :P

DanG,  I think you are probably correct in suspecting that the Lord wasn't in Texas-------I'll not expecterate any further on that one..

I'd also rather not comment on seezer's little tin dickie.

That part about the boat ride is true (I'm pretty sure),  took place on the rubbercorn river which is about in the middle of Texas maybe.  I think it was Seezer that yelled "all-o-your jackets isst"  which was code for "now we're up you know what creek without a paddle".  I think he was lost and didn't want the Mexicans that were fishing along the bank to know that.

I had heard that Arkansas was God's country,and then I had read somewhere,"Texas,by God and by Joyce" .I Checked the map,and sure enough,Texas is right by Arkansas.

I'll do a little digging on this Joyce,she may be around Kansas or mebe Mexico.

Learning is fun!

Paul,

I think she was that 'professional'  woman that used to hang out around the well.

It must have been her that Amos conjugated with and had all those kids.  I learned about it in Latin class.  Lets see there were Amo, Amas, Amat,  Ammamas,  Ammattas,  and Andy.

They were all named after Amos.  Well I'm not sure about Andy,  That might have been Amos' middle name or maybe he was named after one of Amos' buddies.

Have you ever heard of West "by God" Virginia?  I don't see where that place is anywhere near Arkansas or Texas so I don't know were they get the "by God" from.  Maybe they mean "near" rather than "next-to".

Got me stumped on the Joyce thingy.  Pretty bad choice, Joyce.  hmmm-m-m

HOLY MACK'al Andy.  The King Fish was just 'bout to learn ya the conjugatin of the Amos' and Andy-fi this whole mess o' Jehosaphat's 'n Coleopteras into a discernable quag-a-mire of intelligence.  Now look what ya done went 'n did.  I lost my train-o-thought 'n got derailed somewhere 'tween the hot sand 'n the backwards river.    I say.... hmmm-m-m-

You're right, Tom. This is not the train of thought, here.

But, what is it the train of?  ???

It's a train of guitar pickers, harmonica players, foot stompers, signifying humorists and it's Heaven Bound. :D

Wait a minute------hold the phone

I was thinkin that we must have discussed about everythang worth knowing but remembered that famous Texan and his compadres that invented the rodeo.  Moses and the bull rushers.

Cain't forget about them!  I herd them on the rodeo in my truck, just the other night.

Some one axed about what God had to do with Texas.  I reckon y'all fergot this little story.  Happened, oh, bout 10 yar ago.

Bran new Baptist preacher was fishing around for place to raise the name of God to the heathens, and he wanted to check out the competition.

We, scuz me, He was in Calofonica, where Coleopter was from, and went into the Church of What's Happening Now to look around.  Saw a gold telephone on the wall with a sign sayin "Call God in Heaven, $35,000".  He hailed the preacher down and axed him "What that was all about"  Preacher said, "Son, that phone hooks straight to Heaven, and the other end sits on Gods cradenza".  He said, "well aint that sumpin". and decided to move on since this place was to high falooten.

Next stop was in the TabandApple Church in Salt Lake City, where Lots wife was buried, and he went in that Ladder Day Saint Louis Cardenals church.  There was that same Gold Telephone, with the same sign "Call God in Heaven, $35,000".  He axed the head Saint about the sign, and got the same answer.

Next stop was in Minnehaha, or Wishagain, or one a them northern states, and went into the Martin Luther Church, where all them Nowegians prey.  Same Gold Telephone and same sign "Call God in Heaven, $35,000".  He axed the head Cod Fish about the sign and phone, and got the same answer.  

Well, he was getting his fill of the Gold Phone so he went east to Nu Yark City, and stepped in one a them Temples of the Hebrews, which he knew was the down fall of all them old folks in the bible when they ruent the original Temple, and there was that same Gold Telepone and the same sign, "Call God in Heaven, $35,000".   The head Rabbit told him the same story as all the rest.  

Bout now he had a strong urge for some good bar-b-que (hard to find good bar-b-que north of the Maxim-Dixicup Line) and headed for Texas.  Stopped in a little Methodist Church in east Texas (that's where I met him)  and there was that same Gold Telepone, but the sign said "Call God in Heaven, 35 cents".  Well, now, that got him het up over the eye gougin them other churches was doing.  So he called over the Methodist Preacher and axed "Preacher, I been to every type of Church in the country, and every one a them had that gold phone, and every one a them was chargin $35,000.00 for that phone call to God.  How come yours is only 35 cents?"

Preacher took a long, pittying look at the preacher wannabee, and said "Son, in Texas, it's a local call."

Paul H, every where is a little sw of Texas, it jist depends on where ya start from.

Quote.   Ole Juliasen

. ;D

I wonder if Ole,that Tom mentioned was the preacher up in Minehaha?

Paul,

I'm not too sure cause if that was the guy Tom was talkin about he would have probably called him Bro. Ole,  or Bro Julisen.  That Tom's real reprobatable when it comes that kinda stuff.


DanG,

Hope I didn't give you misinformation about the rodeo,  seems like some Italian guy mighta done that.  Macaroni was his name if I recall.  The dude wore a feather in his cap and wrote that song about one if by land and too if you see.

Noble, ol son, you seem to have forgot your feathers. :o

Speaking of feathers,  Don,  sinch the 'Big Guy'  evidentally don't look in on these more intillectual threads,  I'm gonna stick my neck (maybe that's a poor choice of phrases) out and say I wish he had a feather up his (for the way he is deviling me) and then we would both be tickled :D

At least (thanks to DonP) we know why the eskimos aren't more poligimus in the Texas area.  Can you believe the tall tales he tells :D :D

Well now I'm awful confused cause I didn't think that Coleoptera was an eskimo, but then you threw in that bit about the girl being a polygramist and it brought to mind that Gwenever a rustlin her bustle over in the burnin woods which are summersville east of west by God Virginia.
Hmm, is it just " west by God" of the southern mountains :).
If that Amber had a stayed at home in some dark holler instead of goin to the land of ice and snow she'd of probably never been striked by that awful flu-a.(ok, Liquidamber Styraciflua, its been a long day :D) But now if that gum chewin Amber is a redbone she is one purty gal and I believe I'd keep aholt of her. I'd take her up to that five step dryin out clinic by the Interlaken grainery and get her off that stump water rather than holding her feet to the fire. A good abrasive scrubbing might shine up some ribbons and stripes and prove to be some of the best window dressing in town.

Ya know, Louis Armstrong was from Loueezianna.  He's probly blowin' a mean horn in heaven now.  Maybe somebody should talk to him.

Wasn't he the first fella to land on da moon?

Da moon's purdy close to Heaven, ain't it?

I don't know for sure their exact proxzimmity,  but I'm confident they are both a loong way from Texas.

I think I read somewhere somewhere that that (hows that for a that that,  Tom? 8)) Armstrong feller learned how to toot by scaring the sheeps out of the meadow and the cows outa the corn.  I believe that that ( ;))was when he was a little boy.  

He was one a them Blew Men?

Naw, he weren't blew, he were black. But he wrote blew songs about the moon.  First was Blew Moon, then, a little later in the month when the moon had moved a bit east, it were Blew Moon of Kentucky. He got rich off of Bill Monroe's sangin'.  Along about that time, another Bill, Bill Ouija, came up with this idea for a special board, and he got rich too.  He called it "The Billboard" and sold a million of'em. They're all over the place.

Br'er Norm
Neuter demonstrative pronouns indicating emphatic repetition
of the idea expressed by a previous word, verbal auxiliary, conjunction, adjective, pronoun or adverb in a sentence, regardless of the cumbersomeness, deserve acknowlegdgement.  I'm sure happy to see you unembarrassingly join with me in the visible recognition of the art of double words.

Please don't throw me in the briar patch!

Well Thanks ,  Tom,  for your kind words and good indentures,  but I wouldn't feel right joining up with a group of agnoginists even of the elite demonination  being a protestant myself.

Hey Tom,
I'd be the first to admit that that "that" has really gotten a workout on this forum.  :D

Agronimists are Protestants?  Who'd a thunk it.

Br'er Noble,
That was sure nice of you to recognize my pretty teeth. They are quite functional too, I might add.

Sorry to hear of your prostate. I guess that comes with age.  I wouldn't ask you to agnosticate, speculate or expectorate unless we happened to be in the out of doors. Is That elite dominion close to the Dominican republic of the Caribbean?  I went to nausea once.  It's a pretty place with clear blue water, pretty girls and cheap drinks.  I never been so calypsoed in all my life.

Don,
Those Agronomists ought to go get themselves checked too.  I know it's an uncomfortable test but it beats having to take that waterfall pill, Niagra.

Don and Tom,

Unless it's a fignewton of my imagination,  the two of you seem to be confuzed on three or two things.

First of all,  an agronomist is just like a normal guy in his belief in God,  he is just a little salubrious about him ever being in Texas.

Second of all,  I would only talk to my rector concerning the health problems that you excruded to as he specializes in answering rectorial questions.

An additional note of interest, Tom:

I tried to write a line with three conscriptive thats in a row--------I done it and redonedit and redonedit over again but one of them thats that I done always seemed superfiliment.

Boy,Tom almost had things back on tropic,then he gave Noble a bum steer.I'm glad that with all the expectorates,and agnosticates,and reprobates mentioned above,nobody brought up explumageate.

Explumigate? Speak english'n just say prunes.  ::)

It's Nor Ouijan

Ok. I gotta step in here. Yall can talk about all this scientific stuff thats way over my head but I draw the line when you start in about talking about the occult.  Those DanG Nor Ouijan boards are bad news. You start playing with one of those and no telling who you goona get a hold of. You may think yer trying to contact Coleoptera and you end up with a direct line to luficer.

Ya got to watch them Rectors, my last rect DanG near kilt me.

Say - we got summa dem Nor Ouijans round here too. They are a funny bunch who sellabrate da Fort o' July in da middle of May. We got Chermans here too, lots of dem way down sowth by Strassburg where dat Lawerence Welk fella came from. We also got lots of them agronomists, specially in the far east (Fargo). But I think I am da only Meth-o-dist in da bunch.

Mark

Oh yeah, speakin of indentures, I'm da first person in my family to make it past 40 and still have my own teeth.

Mark,

You probably didn't chew a lot of sweet gum when you were growing up thus maintaining your indenturedness.

That Lawerence Welk and his assistant Myron were the ones what invented polka dots weren't they?

Dat's da one Noble!

Hey Mark,

Answer to your signature.............she drove to the shopping center.  Now my wallets says "where that green go ?"  :D :D

Got to readin' around in some of the older stuff.  I just had ta bring this back to the top for tha new guys. ;D  We had a awful lot of fun with this one! :D :D :D

Thanks for doing that, DanG.  Though weeping may endure for a night, Joy comes in the morning.  Which reminds me, I promised the secretary of the treasury that I would do the dishes.  And everyone knows that that was a Promise that you just can't immargarine breaking.

It jest amazes me how y'all got started down the wrong track and jest kept going.  Coleoptera was not an Egyptian queen.  Coleoptera was da 5th Beatle.  He later played HARD with Paul's group.......Wings............ ::)

Wow, this really has branched off, as the hay wire that held it together, busted a stitch. :D :D :D :D

I allwaysd noed there was somphtin haywire about this bunch ;D ;D ;D
james

Great googly moogly, I read it all, but now my head hurts.

I had to break down some of them big words so's I could try to understand them.