my dad passed away last year in April and I haven't spent much time in the shop because of it :( we did just about every thing together in there well this morning I went in and started cleaning it every thing I picked up reminded me of him there was a lot of things I just couldn't throw out I will never use it/them but it was his( he saved every thing :)) not shur what to do with some of the stuff has anyone else had this problem or is it just me :-\
Having spend so much time together just doing stuff was a blessing to you both. He got to watch you develop into the man you are while you learned at his side. In later years the quality and quantity of sharing the two of you experienced is something that proved to be important to all. He was a happy man with his son at his side.
Take the shop full of memories and pass them on to another generation. Build something that you can remember your dad by. You have lived a life most can only wish for.
I have some of my dads stuff still and he's been gone for almost 30 years. Still keeping his old welding machine even though it barely works and some other old tools and stuff. Still have an assortment of odd nuts, bolts and various fittings that I go to every now and then but it's dwindling down. He really didn't have a whole lot of stuff left by the time it was over. I have virtually nothing left from my mom. Lindy had a real hard time when her dad passed a few years ago and is only just now starting to be able to let go of stuff. In time you will learn to keep the things that are really meaningful to you and let the other stuff go.
My dad will have passed away 36 years ago this coming April 29th. I still have some of his stuff. One of his forest green work hats, I just wore yesterday. I also still have some stuff from my dad's dad, my grandfather. Some things will stay with you a long long time.
I agree to keep what means the most, pass it on to your kids or any nieces/nephews, even close friend's kids. Tell the stories and keep his memory attached to each and every piece. As Mr. Tom told me once that is truly the way to honor someone, of course he put it a lot more eloquently than I can.
You are definitely not alone, you are still grieving. You were very fortunate to have had a good relationship with him, many don't have that with their parents.
Unknown to me, mom sold dad's tools and the buyer, a close family friend, cleaned out the shop. I was upset at the time, some of the tools were mine, but I am honestly glad I didn't have to do it. Too many memories.
You are going to have to deal with it eventually and time won't make it any easier. Maybe you could keep a few pieces and put the rest out to family members, whatever is left goes to auction. Once it is done you can move on and cherish what you had. All the best.
Coxy
My dad always says you are not a man till your father passes away.
His father has been gone for many, many years. I believe what he says about having to grow up cause I relie on his advice more then anyone. I don't always listen or agree, most times to my detriment. I do know when he gives it even if it is critical, that it is given with no other agenda then love.
It very much sounds like you relied on your fathers companionship and love. Now you have to go on without the imput of one who loved you and I am sure gave support that you will miss that you may not have even reconize you were recieving.
I am sorry you have lost that but have a feeling by your description of your relationship with your father, that he has prepared you the best that was possible for what is to come.
I am sorry for your pain and wish you the best.
gww
It was five years ago today that we put our Mother in the nursing home. When my wife and I were talking about it yesterday, I told her that was the worst day of my life. Amazingly, our family arranged it that one of us visited every day. My day was Sunday, and I would often show up at 10 am and take her to the church service, and it was a comfort to her even in her dementia. She lived six months there and passed away, but there isn't a time I go by that place that I don't think of those days. It's bittersweet, and Time seems to water down the bitter part. Our hearts go out to you Coxy, a lot of us understand what you're going through. You're not alone. - Jason
Coxy: I understand, as do so many many others. My father was killed in 1976, when I was 21, my mother passed seven years later. My parents had very little money and consequently very few possesions at estate time. That was a blessing in disguise - it might have made it easier. I kept a WWII pistol, my brother his medals and uniform. That's about it. We have photos and we have loving memories. And I am so very thankful for both of them for the time they were with us. They shaped my life, provided, and guided me along the way. And so the torch gets passed; I have a wonderful wife, daughter, and now a granddaughter in my life. And a heart that will still ache on occasion, particularly on certain days. Can't help that last part and really don't want to. It really is good to remember - even if it hurts once in a while.
I've kept all of my Dads stuff too, cherish every one of them. You're not alone Brother, keep smiling
I have my dads stand up tool chest, untouched as it came from his shop nearly 30 years ago, cannot seem to do much with it, other than being a lasting memory. Have some of my grandfathers tools hanging on the wall at the office, I remember both men as ones who made me what I am.
It is a tough thing to have to do. It fell my lot to have to close my only Brother's shop 30 years ago. Then 20 years ago I had to do the same for both my Dad & Dad-in-Law. Thankfully I have fond memories of them all.
My Father did not really have a shop. But my memories are right here on The Farm. I can walk around here and just about any place that I can put my feet brings back a memory of some sort of what was done at that spot.
10 years ago July day passed. Basement has a bunch of his stuff including some tools. You will always have the memories and think fondly of them. It becomes easier to deal with the 'stuff'. Some I'll keep and kids can deal with it when I am gone. Some I'll pass on to others including to his grand kids as it does become easier.
Time passes differently for everyone and each person should do what feels right for them. If you are not being pressed for the space you have as much time as you need. I went through the same thing and still do but it gets easier. For me it has been 10 years and not much time goes by that I don't want to ask him something or tell him some news. Not a bad thing, just part of life.
thanks for the advise and letting me vent a little
My mother hasn't driven past the farm where she grew up since Grandma passed away two years ago this past February. It's on the next section road north, two miles away.
When my dad passed my brother in laws came to help clean out the out buildings while my sisters did the house. They were throwing out stuff and I would pick it up and put it in the back of my pickup. What floored me was everything my dad had in the house in a hour or so you would have never known that he ever lived there. Gave me a wierd feeling just goes to show you how fast your life passes by.