Got a call today that a good friend of mine that I haul wood for son hung himself. Such a tragic thing for family! Kid was only a teenager. What can you say to him??? He thought the world of him. Dad cut wood and flew the big planes for fed ex. I don't know what to say to him????
There is nothing you can say. Just let him know you are there for him.
There's not much that can be said. We buried a 17yr old back in February who did the same thing (he was the first in a string of 6 or 7 over the course of a few months). I can still hear the sirens from that Tuesday afternoon.
Be there for the family. Offer a strong shoulder that they can cry, and lean, on. Cry with them.
I think Luke Bryan sang it best:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RM5aW83L_DE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RM5aW83L_DE)
I may not have known the kid or his family, but I will raise a glass in honour of those he left behind.
It's a terrible memory that will be with his parents for the rest of their lives. Very, very sad.
WH,
Sorry to hear it. Nothing you can say to your friend except to tell him how sorry you are to learn of son's passing and sincere offer to be there to listen if he wants to talk. :(
sorry to hear Woodhauler :( :( we have had a few around hear do the same thing but it was all about drugs
At a times like this there are no words. Just pray for comfort , peace and guidance for these families.
We should all be praying for our youth, its a tough world out there for them.
Quote from: coxy on November 26, 2016, 07:42:28 AM
sorry to hear Woodhauler :( :( we have had a few around hear do the same thing but it was all about drugs
No drugs here, Just had a fight with his mother, went down cellar and hung himself. Dad was flying for fed ex that day. I talked to his father last Tuesday and he said he wasn't coming home for thanksgiving, planned on working his shift then coming home.
Really sorry to hear that Woodhauler.. there really is no good answer. You celebrate the life they had.. remember the good stuff.. family and friends come together and support each other. My niece did the same age 21.. we have large family and everyone was in disbelief. I think my jaw was stuck in the dropped position for some time.
So sorry to hear! Makes my heart sink. Sometimes it is good to do some type of activity ( fishing/hunting/fix some thing...) To get the mind off of what happened. I found my brother hanging from a tree. It still haunts me today.
At certain times in life just listen.
I broke down and called him yesterday, We had a long talk. No warning signs. But that is the way with most people that do that. He treats his kids good. I told him not to blame himself or his wife. Im sure if they had any idea things would be different. I kinda dread going down to haul his wood next week but it has to be done.
Oh timberline! That's awful!
That must have been a tough call. You are a good friend. It was like a real scary movie for me. What bothered me quite a bit was everyone would seem to stop and look at me strangely. For me, keeping busy kept my mind off of the horrible scene,which wanted to keep playing over and over. The rumor that started after that is "that's why he cuts down trees" isn't true! I just needed income and farm job wasn't cutting it. Sorry to go on...and so sorry woodhauler,kenfarm,and all those affected by this type of tragedy.
Timberline, I'm sorry you had to find your brother like that.
My wife's younger brother committed suicide in 2004. His dad found him. What a rough time :'( Phone calls at 3AM are seldom positive :(
There is no easy answer. Where I work the suicide rate is statistically 8 to 10 times higher than the rest of the country, but here lately, I think the rest of the country is trying to catch up.
The only solution is to make sure that every person that knows you knows they're worth more than anything in the world. Sounds like a big task and it is, but none more important.
That's shocking azmtn. I have always thought the area around Show Low is very pretty. I guess the problem is with the Navajos?
Why does this happen? :'(
Quote from: Den Socling on November 28, 2016, 11:50:31 PM
That's shocking azmtn. I have always thought the area around Show Low is very pretty. I guess the problem is with the Navajos?
That's a statistic for almost all reservations (my friends are Apache). The White Mountains are the prettiest place on earth in my opinion.
Quote from: timberlinetree on November 29, 2016, 06:06:37 AM
Why does this happen? :'(
No purpose in life and no hope of finding that purpose.
So sad! Has this been a problem for a long time? 100yrs? It seems like it is getting worse over the past 20yrs,but I have not been around that long?
My condolences.
I lost my son to suicide in 2014. I was on a business trip in SoCal when my wife called to let me know she had found him. He was 18 and about to graduate HS. We thought he had his life all planned out with going to welding school and never seen any signs that anything was wrong. He was a christian, very popular in school and the community, and worked two jobs making rodeo ropes and busing tables.
There is nothing to say to someone who goes through a loss such as this. The first week of it happening covered us with the "whys" and "only if's". The following weeks is when the real mourning begins and the missing him set in. He was my hunting companion, off-loader, wood splitter, mechanic, helper of anything and my son. He was a mom's boy also and loved helping her with anything she needed. I have not been hunting since it happened, because I just don't think I would enjoy it without him there and I seldom start the sawmill up.
My family lives out of state, so it was hard on them staying and assisting us. My christian family at church was here and still are, especially on his birthday and the date it happened. But my lodge brothers were there as soon as it happened and they help as much as they all can.
To sum it up, prayer works, God forgives, and true friends and brothers are still in this world.
Prayers for you and your friend.
Rich Miller
So sorry, Rich.
Quote from: timberlinetree on November 29, 2016, 06:06:37 AM
Why does this happen? :'(
The best explanation I have ever heard was when I was in USMC and we had suicide prevention classes. My chaplain friend described it as "A permanent solution to a temporary problem".
I think way to many of us are too private with our thoughts and feelings and dam them up until we can't control them instead of releasing them slowly and regularly by talking to our family, friends, pastor or creator when we need to do so. I guess that is why we need to be more attuned to be open to talk with our loved ones and let them know they can come talk to us when they need to do so. It may look like an insignificant problem to us but to others it is overwhelming.
A person's mind can go all haywire! Thinking that today is horrible even if your mind doesn't know why. Thinking that tomorrow is going to be worse even when the mind doesn't know why. Thinking that you hate your own mind for making you feel this way and wanting to destroy the monster inside of you. That's at least one reason people commit suicide.
I've been in a place where, if it weren't for the fact that I didn't want to hurt my family (who had already lost their other son) and if I thought it would just be lights out and nothing on the other side, I would have taken my own life. I had developed a severe case of depression and anxiety, it becomes a living hell and you can't get away from yourself. I've heard it said that a person would gladly trade broken bones or other severe injury to escape depression, I can second that because I know I would have.
This happens to all economic levels . The pastor Rick Warren lost his 27 year old son to suicide . That was the first time I heard someone say it was a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Yes drugs and alcohol are self medication and mask the real problems. Fear can really help , but being Fearless in this situation is not good. Professional counselors and doctors are needed . I have said many times that Tough times don't last but Tough people do . This really has nothing to do with strongarm toughness. DBSA is a program for people to talk close to AA groups. There are DBSA groups for Family members too . Again this is something for Doctors and Counselors. Thoughts and Prayers to all .
Professional Drs and counselors are definitely needed. My BIL and his parents sought spiritual guidance through there pastor who took charge, played God, and my wife's brother is now dead. The man should have had sense enough to realize that Michael's needs were beyond anything he as a clergy man could treat. He should have recommended medical treatment.
Sorry I brought these sad memorys back for people. Sometimes its better to talk about it .Going down Saturday to the remeberance gathering.
Never be sorry. I think of my son every day and enjoy sharing his short life with others. That brings me peace and reverence.
Hope all goes well tomorrow on the memorial and just remember to hug his parents. That helps more than you will know!
Rich Miller