Old(er) Folks

[Tom]

I love older folks.  

I have tried to make time in my schedule to spend time with them.  It's for my benefit as well as theirs.  They are a world of knowledge and BS.  I try to listen and not impress them with my ability to talk. (my ears don't work good when my mouth is open).

My circle of older friends is made up of Bee keepers, bowl turners, cabinet makers, machinest, AC engineers, mechanics, pilots, electric motor rewinders, sailors, loggers, pulp wooders, paper mill workers, preachers, carpenters, farmers and painters. After retirement they find themselves more and more alone.  Their friends die off and the hustle and bustle of today's world leaves them to entertain themselves.

When I can arrange a Tue. with an open lunch date I eat with a bowl turner.  On Thur. I eat with a Fuel oil salesman/sawmiller.  I try, at the end of a day, to visit one when I am in the neigborhood to see if there is something I can do to help him with a project. They are too proud to ask for help but I've found that they really appreciate it if some just happens to show up.

It makes me feel good that they accept me and I learn so much.  I have enough older friends to have quite a party one day.  That's an idea.
 ;D

[Jeff]

Tom, er I don't know how to tell you this, um, I looked at your profile, you are older folks. ;)

And yes, you are exactly right. There are things that they know, that we never will, unless we take the time to learn from them. And without fail, I think most are glad to teach.

[Bill Johnson]

I agree with Tom. My neighbour, is one of the older folks, the kind you have to program the VCR for etc.
But whenever I'm doing something he's always there to help, and whenever he has a major project going I make sure I help as much as I can.
We sometimes get to-gether in the back yard on warm summer days or in heated garage in the winter and have a few wobbly pop and make plans for the fall hunt or for a fishing trip or whatever.
They are a vast store of knowledge and if you take the time to listen its amazing what you can learn.
Bill

[Tom]

Jeff, down here I am a youngster.  Age is relative I guess. Those that I admire are in their 80's.  Can you imagine going into the woods with a two-man cross-cut and a hewing axe to create cross ties there and haul them out finished?

I'm too young to be knowledgeable and not old enough to be respected.........yet.

[RavioliKid]

>>>My neighbour, is one of the older folks, the kind you have to program the VCR for etc.<<<

Hey! Careful, now! I'm one of them-there "older folks you have to program the VCR for."

I am please with myself that I can manage to put a video in and get it to run.

[Bill Johnson]

Well there are a few other things that he's uncomfortable with  as well but I didn't want to mention them here. :D The VCR thing just seemed to be something most people can relate to.


 8) 8)
Bill

[Tom]

Bill,
The unfortunate thing is that they once didn't have trouble with simple things. That gives us something to look forward to.

I was helping two of my friends last week with a metal lathe.  One rewinds motors and wanted a shim made to tighten up the bearing.  He measured it and said that it had to be "2 1/4 and a little bit". The other is/was a machinist and kept trying to put a set of calipers on the housing to see how big it should be.  I thought there was going to be a fight.
Then the Machinist tried to true up the motor housing in a 4 jaw chuck and was almost in tears because he couldn't do it.  The rewinder kept goading him which didn't help any.  Finally the machinist said "let old tom do it. He can see better than I can".

So I did it.  I didn't know what I was doing but I knew that I had to get it in the middle and did.

There is apparently a procedure for centering a 4 jaw chuck and he couldn't remember how to do it nor could he understand which way the chuck was moving when he tightened or loosened one side.  He was embarrassed that he couldn't do it and, like I said, was almost in tears.  The rewinder thought it was funny. A year or two ago he would have realized that he was hurting his friend but for some reason doesn't anymore.  He has become rather obnoxious.  

I'm glad I was there to help smooth it all out.

I'm thinking today as I write this that I hope there is a younger fellow that will hang with me and keep me out of trouble one day.  When I put my coffee cup in the refrigerator instead of the microwave or can't find my glasses only to realize that I have them on, I realize just how close it may be. .....not there yet.....not there yet! 8)

[timberbeast]

Yeah,  it's a shame so many people don't take the time to speak with the older folks.  Just returned from a week in the woods,  ye Gods it was 29 degrees last night!  Was cutting some posts at my landing,  and one of my best friends showed up.  This fella was married to my father's cousin,  and recently lost her.  He's 86,  and still working in the woods.  He came out to bring me a really nice cedar sawlog that was "just in the way",  where he was cutting some maple.  It was a gesture of friendship,  but also an excuse to have a can of suds and shoot the bull.  I stopped in at his place on my way home today and helped him re-wire his boat trailer.  My wife works in a nursing home and always listens and tells me the stories the older folks tell.  If more people would listen,  and learn,  there would be far fewer bums and hoods around today................

[RavioliKid]

People all need someone to listen to them. It works for kids as well as older people. In fact, that is just about the only thing that will stop some of my chronic chatterers in my third grade. I tell them, "Just a minute please, I'm listening to so-and-so."
They stop and wait for the other child to finish.

Older folks really need it.

[Tom]

That's good that you do that Rav.  Something that has been lost in our society is patience and respect.  Children butt in and dominate because they are excited and want attention. Somebody has to make them acknowledge that others deserve time on the floor too.  That's the kind of teaching that is as, or more, important than the 3 "R's".  In the past the 4th R was taken for granted.

Hey Beast, How do these guys keep on keeping on when they are in their 80's. They amaze me.  My elec. motor rewinder friend just decided to learn how to do it about 4 years ago and now has a business in his back yard....(another business!!)

[Jeff]

Shortly after my dad died 6 years ago, we came across what appeared to be the start of his autobiography. Dad was not able to get very far with it, but I treasure what he did write.

I never knew any of these stories before reading this.

http://www.timberbuyer.net/dad.htm

[Tom]

Jeff,

There's got to be more!

[Jeff]

I wish. Nobody knew that existed until we were getting things in order after his death. The original was dated about a month before we found out he had a brain tumor. Dad died 1 month after brain surgery having never woke up.

I have read it hundreds of times thinking the same. There has got to be more...

[Tom]

Maybe it's time to clear the cobwebs from your mind and try to remember some of the storys he told you; or pick the brains of some family members.  

If you were to follow the "to the point" and concise format that he started with you could make an interesting tribute.  You could call the rest of it http://www.timberbuyer.net/mydad.htm.  I would read it.

[RavioliKid]

I'd read it, too! People are too important not to be remembered.

[Tom]

I lost one of my older folks recently.  He was a real practical joker and would travel for miles to find my mill set up and visit, giving me and the customers a bad time for an hour or two.

His favorite trick was to unroll a 25 or 30 foot rule and fold it up in his hand.  Then he would find someone not paying attention, walk up behind them and turn it loose.  It made enough racket to give you a heart attack even if you knew he was doing it.

God's going to have trouble with him for awhile

[Tom]

I sawed for a friend of a friend last week.

In the mail this evening I got this little envelope and inside was a $20.00 check.

His wife included a note that reads:
"Paul really appreciates your sawing the cedar and said that it was worth more than you charged so here is a check for the rest of it".

                         "Thanks Paul and Sandra"

Aren't Older folks great?  It's a different world.

[RavioliKid]

What a sweet story!

I am touched watching my father adjust to his new life as a widower. He's been buying his own clothes. I think he's bought more stuff on his own in the last month than in all the years Mom was with us. After she had her stroke five years ago, the sibs and I just kind of pitched in and kept him in boxers and shirts for his birthday. Mom always liked giving him pants and pajamas, so I was always going out to get them for her to give to him for gift occasions.

He stopped at a garage sale this afternoon and picked up some gee-gaws - a little red wagon that says "It's a boy!" (just in case my sister's next child is male) a little toy china cabinet (I'm not sure about that one) and a muffin tin for 6 muffins.

They just don't make guys like that any more.

[Tom]

Isn't that a fact!

I wish I had known years ago what I had in my granddad.  I had to grow up to understand and by then time was short.

Your dad is lucky to have you spending this time with him and acknowledging his existance.  I would imagine he is a lot more lonely than he would let on.  Mine would be...retired marine and all that...chin up, chest out.  We are all pretty vulnerable when we are by ourselves.

The only thing that touches me more than an older person who is trying is a younger person that is trying.  They don't make many of those anymore either.

Thanks, you made me feel good tonight.

[RavioliKid]

I am so lucky to have my Dad with me. (And, he is lucky to be with me, too!)

We both miss Mom, but we had five extra years with her that the doctors didn't think she's have. And, we both have no doubts that we did that best we could for her.

It was a great run.

[Tom]

I never had a relationship with my father.  We didn't even know each other until just before he died.

There was one sobering instance in his life that makes me want to live mine to the fullest and acknowledge those I love.

Going into his last surgery he asked the doctor to "please get me out of this, I have a lot of unfinished business to take care of".

He didn't make it and its a shame because I think he realized what he was missing in the families he had created.

That's something to think about the next time you go fishing and leave your kid standing in the door.

[Gordon]

Tom I'm sorry to hear that story. My father has also passed on as well. But I can say this about him he did live life to the fullest. It was fun growing up because there always were trips.

His first love was sailing, he had a 36' Choy Lee ketch. I sailed through the Bahamas' one winter. One spring we sailed to Bermuda seven days of sailing one way. A few of the great lakes as well. Not all five though.

He died from what he worked with in his earlier years asbestos. Mom and I often talk about some of the tight spots he got us in, but always managed to get us out.

Here is one story when we were leaving Grand Bahama Island heading toward Bimini. It was a beautiful day for sailing. The dolphins came up and were playing around the boat. Jumping , swimming under the boat and jumping up in front of the boat. It was really neat a day I will always remember. Just as quick as they came they were gone.

I went up front and went to sleep. Then all of the sudden very loud BAM sounded. Dad and mom said my feet never hit the floor from the v berth to the cockpit. What happened was a side stay broke and it dismasted the boat. So we pulled the mast back on board and fold the sails. Then motered back to Grand Bahama Island.

No sooner than we got back dad headed to town on the bike. Came back with some bolts and plated steel to fix the mast. We made some saw horses and went to drilling and plating the mast. One of the dock hands walking down the dock said "you ain't never gunna fix that mun.

A couple of days later the mast was fixed and we were ready to leave again. The same dockhand walked by and said I didn't think you would ever fix tat thin mun. That fix done in the boonies lasted the rest of the season. Didn't look so spiffy buy it worked.

Then there was the time Dad got the station wagon stuck on the logging road. Man was mom mad that day.

Then there was the time dad got the car stuck in the snow taking an unplowed short cut. Hitchhiked back to the farm got the backhoe started plowing us out and the backhoe ran out of gas.

I could go on and on and on But I can say he loved live and lived each day at the fullest. After writing this the memories start flowing. Sure do miss that man.

Gordon

[Tom]

I can understand why Gordon.

That was great story.  I'll bet the others are too.  Hope you let us enjoy them sometime as well.
It's funny how accurate our minds eye is after so many years.  Beats any computer made.

[L. Wakefield]

   Tom, it's beyond accuracy. A picture perfect memory of the occurances without the memory of the feelings would be technically 'accurate', but it would be so empty. We have the benefit of the factual and emotional memories, plus the mellowing effect of reminiscences over the years. These may blur the sharpness of the facts a bit, but add deeper significance. Like your favorite hunting stories. The facts may be more than a BIT blurred (embroidery? poetic license?), but the embellishments and re-telling are part of the experience.   lw

[Tom]

I am really bummed out.

Charlie left me a note that Chet Atkins died today.

He has been my Guitar Idol since the middle 1950's.

In 1969 I was working as a newspaper photographer in Ft. Pierce, Florida and Chet along with other popular singers and much of the Hee Haw gang came to the relatively new Golf Club in the relatively new Port St. Lucie.  I had the opportunity to photograph and visit with Chet, Boots Randolph, Floyd Cramer and a young unknown I later found out was Jerry Reed.

I followed them around the golf course and back to their villas.  Chet invited me in to visit in the living room and have something to drink. It was awfully hot.  I had a friend with me who was a legally blind piano tuner.  We sat in the living room and visited for the better part of two hours and Chet got his flat top out and picked off and on most of the time.  He just sat in his chair, picked and smoked a big cigar and I tried to permanently imprint the occasion on my mind.  I just knew I would never be in this position again.

The next time Chet came to Port St. Lucie, the newspaper got a phone call and low and behold I was in his shadow again.  I guess he just liked me because pictures, stories and advertising never came up.  We just visited like old friends.

I think that was just how Chet was.  He was never above anybody and had a way of making you feel at ease as if you had known each other all your life.

I will certainly miss him. :'(