Things Grandpa Said...

[WildDog]

..."It's a dog's breakfast."

I use it as a polite way to describe how a situation has "Gone to the Pack" (another ne Grandpa said) usually through poor planning etc.

[Jim_Rogers]

When my mother's brother used to visit us, my uncle, he would give me a punch in the arm. Not hard but enough so you'd know it.

And say "that's for nothing, wait till you do something....."

[Corley5]

"Nothing's illegal unless you get caught"  There were more but this is the one that's always stuck with me.  Mom hated it when she heard him say it  ;D

[Sprucegum]

"There's house talk and there's barn talk - make sure you know where you're standing when you open your mouth"

[Ken]

Grampie always said that if you didn't have at least a half days work done by 10 in the morning you might as well have stayed in bed!  He's 89 years old and it seems like he still lives by that motto. 

[JohnW]

I don't remember that my Grandpa had any snappy saying, not that he didn't say plenty.  He told me a thousand stories.  He did get to tell one of his friends a pretty snappy thing.  This guy told him, you're a pretty smart guy, Jesse, you could have been a millionaire.  My grandpa replied that he had a million friends, and that's worth more.

[Magicman]

He knew all of the words and knew how to put them together.

[Busy Beaver Lumber]

1. He has "Delusions of Adequacy"
2. His presence here is denying some town the use of their village idiot
3. He is not so much of a "Has Been", but more of a "Will Never Be"
4. He could not count his fingers more than once and come up with the same number twice
5. I would say that he is dumb as a rock, but that would be a major insult to the rock
6. His parents must be very proud!
7. Take a good look at this idiot. This is why you go to college son
8. She had an idea once, but it died of loneliness
9. When he was young, the Dead Sea was only ill
10. He will go far in life, and the sooner he goes, the better
11. If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your true destiny
12. The apple does not fall far from the tree

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

I was talking to my Dad about this thread. He said his Dad didn't have a lot of sayings. My Grand-Dad stood 6 foot 4 inches and weighed about 300 pounds. He operated a corn mill and everyone around new him. My Dad told me " son, your Grand-Paw didn't have to have a saying.....he would just look at you and you knew what he was saying!"  :D

[west penn]

    "Son,  No one is completely worthless, he can always be used as a bad example."

[BBK]

When asked by the new parish preist, "Does your husband curse" grandma replied "fluently, father, fluently" :D  8)

It won't get done with you standing there looking at it.
That DanG axe is for wood boy! (I missed the log)
Three squares and a flat, that's your pay boy.
You're dumb enough to stand behing the mule, your dumb enough to get kicked. 

[Raider Bill]

    "Son,  No one is completely worthless, he can always be used as a bad example."

I resemble that remark.... ;D

[whiskers]

 Sorry wont get the hay in. Somebody give you that busted lip or did you earn it? Feed the hounds after the hunt. Ducks eat anything in front and dump on everything behind.  Fishin' is a poor trait, well followed. Horse is a brown thing that you throw money at, boat is a hole in the water you throw money into. If wishes were horses paupers would ride. A poor ride beats a proud walk. Once burnt twice remembered. Marry in haste, regret at your leisure. The love bug would just as soon light on a horse turd as a daisy. Good whiskey ain't cheap...

[wheelinguy]

When somebody would complain about something my grandfather would say "pain and sufferin' is wide spread".
When it's hot out or something is a little exciting my other grandfather says "wooo doggie" like jed clampett from the beverly hillbillies.

[DeerMeadowFarm]

My Dad always says "A man that carries a jack knife is worth $.25 more an hour!"

[blackfoot griz]

"I wonder how many hospital visits were preceeded by the line: Hold my beer and watch this"

[Texas Ranger]

One from my family.  He is et up with the dumb butt.

From a friends father, calling attention to a slick, smooth talking younger guy.  Well, ain't he a jelly bean?

If he says a cat can pull a wagon, hitch him up.

[Weekend_Sawyer]

My mother was the one with great sayings.

Ask her a question she didn't know, " You've gone to a goat house for wool"
Something good happens  "You are in hog heaven eating bull bacon"
some one not very bright "Hasn't got the brains god gave a billy goat"
and "the lord wasn't as kind to all of us"
When Dad wasn't listing "I might as well talk to that dog"
something ugly was "Worse than the back side of a mud fence"
If you didn't do it right you had to "Lick your calf over"
When I was a young boy she would open the back door and holler for me "Jon, shadows are gettin long"

[Raider Bill]

Money cannot buy happiness, but its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

Forgive your enemy, but remember the SOB's name.

Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

[Polly]

  ;) 8)   a friend of mine was talking about making money , he said you need to find something nobody else wants to do ,anybody got any suggestions , well you ant making no money reading this have a good day ;) ;) 8)

[nsmike]

One I remember, has kind of lost it's meaning because you almost never see an Indianhead nickel any more is,  "He's so cheap he'll make the Indian ride the buffalo before letting go of a nickel."

[Bill Gaiche]

No pun intended. If its got t... or wheels your gona have trouble with it.
What grandpa said? If you dont have a picture of it, it didnt happen.

[Migal]

My Grandfather was the major male role model in my childhood He raised my three brothers and I on a Dairy farm. One of the things I remember most when asked a question on rather we would get done with what we set out to do was "If the good Lord willing and the creek don't rise"