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Author Topic: I just couldn't resist  (Read 2848 times)

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Offline Ernie

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I just couldn't resist
« on: February 17, 2005, 03:57:18 PM »
I came across this one today and I just had to share it with FF
Tax Payment

Dear IRS,

Enclosed is my 2004 Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the
attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you
will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has
paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.

Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2,400) and six hammers
(value $1,029). This brings my total payment to $3,429.00. Please note
the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the "Presidential Election
Fund," as noted on my return.

Might I suggest that you send the above mentioned fund a "1.5 inch
screw." (See attached article...HUD paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch
Phillips Head Screw.)

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look
forward to paying it again next year. I just saw an article about the
Pentagon and "screwdrivers."

Ernie
A very wise man once told me . Grand children are great, we should have had them first

Offline DanG

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2005, 10:32:44 PM »
Only got one question, Ernie.  Why would you want to resist. ??? :D :D :D

Sound's like a perfectly valid way to pay one's taxes, and it saves the govt from going out shopping. Just another bonus for them. ;D
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

Offline Ernie

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2005, 10:45:50 PM »
Well DanG, I just wasn't sure about the posting rules on nonforestry related themes

Ernie
A very wise man once told me . Grand children are great, we should have had them first

Offline DanG

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2005, 11:08:32 PM »
Whaddaya think toilet seats and hammer handles are made of, huh? ;D
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

Offline Paul_H

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2005, 11:10:35 PM »
Grits? 8)
eg  tregar  meste  på  Tulla, for  ho  var  krulla  i  ulla.

Offline Ernie

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2005, 11:52:54 PM »
I know I shouldn't ask but that has never stopped me before.  What are grits?

I hope this questione won't get be banned from the forum?
A very wise man once told me . Grand children are great, we should have had them first

Offline DanG

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2005, 12:31:54 AM »
 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Hey guys!  Ernie don't know what grits is! :D :D :D

Somebody tell him.  My sides are hurting.

HOOOooooo boy!


Ok, I'm better now.  I started to tell ya to do a search for all the posts about grits, but I ain't sure the new search feature is up to it.  I'll just try ta fill ya in.  Grits is an old Southern US staple item that is nothing more than coursely ground corn.  It started out as a by-product of corn meal, but has become ingrained as a basic food.  Originally, it was only eaten by people who were too poor to do better, but as times got better it became a food of choice.  Grits are cooked by boiling, usually with some sort of seasoning, such as butter and salt, or maybe cheese.  They are delicious, but some folks on the forum don't seem to like them.  They are ignorant. ;D
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

Offline Furby

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2005, 12:54:24 AM »
I did right after he posted that, but erased it so that I wouldn't get banned from the forum!
 :D :D :D :D :D :D




Ernie,
The truth is, grits are what ya feed the animals to fatten them up for the dinner table! ;) ;)

Offline Ianab

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #8 on: February 18, 2005, 01:14:18 AM »
Some forum Grits history.  :D

http://www.forestryforum.com/board/index.php?topic=7414.0

hmm.. and it seems that the "food group" is another little thing that got lost in the upgrade.

Not a biggie Jeff  ;)

Ian
Weekend warrior, Peterson JP test pilot, Dolmar 7900 and Stihl MS310 saws and  the usual collection of power tools :)

Offline KiwiCharlie

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2005, 01:28:17 AM »
Hey Ernie,
Been there, done that!  I think they laughed at me too (many moons ago) when I asked about grits!  :D  They seem obsessed with them!  I cant even think of a Kiwi similarity.  Except rotten corn (yes, its a real food!), but its not really down the same road!  :o :D
Charlie.
Walk tall and carry a big Stihl.

Offline Ernie

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2005, 01:40:20 AM »
hey Kiwi Charlie

I've heard of rotten corn and a Maori whitebaiting mate of mine even threaten to bring some over for me to try, but his description put me off, I'm too old to risk it.
A very wise man once told me . Grand children are great, we should have had them first

Offline LIL

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2005, 04:17:47 AM »
Ernie and KiwiCharlie
 
What about the kina!!!!???? :-X
Hobbies and Interests  

Interests revolve around my partners love of sawmills! - Hence being his NUMBER ONE OFFLOADER - Myself - I like the smell of sawdust. If I had my choice I would have BIG MACHINERY - who wouldnt want would their own combine harvester and an 18 wheeler (Scania)

Offline Fraxinus

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2005, 05:48:14 AM »

Hey guys!  Ernie don't know what grits is!

Sounds like Ernie is one of the lucky ones. :o
Grandchildren, Bluegrass music, old tractors, trees and sawmills.  It don't get no better'n that!

Offline tnlogger

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #13 on: February 18, 2005, 08:50:02 AM »
now ernie if you try them grits you needs to cook um just rite.
 you will never ever ever quit eating them  8) 8) 8)
 If ya ask ckate real nice he might tell ya the better ways to cook um .
 I think Da boss even like un even though he is one of them northen boys  :D :D
                 gene
gene

Offline sawguy21

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2005, 08:59:24 AM »
Jeff did come up with an interesting description of grits on another thread when I asked the same question. DanG, you are just going to have to keep preaching to the choir. No converts here ;D
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm

Offline Fla._Deadheader

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #15 on: February 18, 2005, 09:37:42 AM »

  I had a big ol plate of Grits for breakfast, this morning. Added butter, Bacon Grease and jalapeno cheese, to taste.  ;) ;)UUuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm.
All truth passes through three stages:
   First, it is ridiculed;
   Second, it is violently opposed; and
   Third, it is accepted as self-evident.

-- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)

Offline Cedarman

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #16 on: February 18, 2005, 10:25:54 AM »
You folks crack me up. :D :D :D :D :D
What a way to start the day.
I am in the pink when sawing cedar.

Offline moosehunter

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #17 on: February 18, 2005, 11:12:49 AM »
Ernie,
 There is only one subject that will bring more responses to a thread on this forum than food in general... and that is GRITS.
Moosehunter
"And the days that I keep my gratitude
Higher than my expectations
Well, I have really good days".    Ray Wylie Hubbard

Offline tnlogger

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #18 on: February 18, 2005, 11:20:30 AM »
wal now moosehunter the way i figger it is form the top of the food chain down is in order of importance.
#1 GRITS
#2 venison
#3 turnup greens and fat back.
#4 catfish.
  :D :D :D :D gene
gene

Offline JimY

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #19 on: February 18, 2005, 11:38:48 AM »
My little gal Audrey, age 2, has been showing exquisite culinary tastes of late.  She's eaten grits and collard greens in the same week.  ;D  She's gonna be a true GRIT (Girl raised in the South).  Even if her Mama was born in Connecticut.  ;)
Jim


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