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Author Topic: I just couldn't resist  (Read 2888 times)

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Offline Ernie

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I just couldn't resist
« on: February 17, 2005, 03:57:18 PM »
I came across this one today and I just had to share it with FF
Tax Payment

Dear IRS,

Enclosed is my 2004 Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the
attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you
will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has
paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.

Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2,400) and six hammers
(value $1,029). This brings my total payment to $3,429.00. Please note
the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the "Presidential Election
Fund," as noted on my return.

Might I suggest that you send the above mentioned fund a "1.5 inch
screw." (See attached article...HUD paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch
Phillips Head Screw.)

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look
forward to paying it again next year. I just saw an article about the
Pentagon and "screwdrivers."

Ernie
A very wise man once told me . Grand children are great, we should have had them first

Offline DanG

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2005, 10:32:44 PM »
Only got one question, Ernie.  Why would you want to resist. ??? :D :D :D

Sound's like a perfectly valid way to pay one's taxes, and it saves the govt from going out shopping. Just another bonus for them. ;D
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

Offline Ernie

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2005, 10:45:50 PM »
Well DanG, I just wasn't sure about the posting rules on nonforestry related themes

Ernie
A very wise man once told me . Grand children are great, we should have had them first

Offline DanG

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2005, 11:08:32 PM »
Whaddaya think toilet seats and hammer handles are made of, huh? ;D
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

Online Paul_H

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2005, 11:10:35 PM »
Grits? 8)
eg  tregar  meste  på  Tulla, for  ho  var  krulla  i  ulla.

Offline Ernie

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2005, 11:52:54 PM »
I know I shouldn't ask but that has never stopped me before.  What are grits?

I hope this questione won't get be banned from the forum?
A very wise man once told me . Grand children are great, we should have had them first

Offline DanG

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2005, 12:31:54 AM »
 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Hey guys!  Ernie don't know what grits is! :D :D :D

Somebody tell him.  My sides are hurting.

HOOOooooo boy!


Ok, I'm better now.  I started to tell ya to do a search for all the posts about grits, but I ain't sure the new search feature is up to it.  I'll just try ta fill ya in.  Grits is an old Southern US staple item that is nothing more than coursely ground corn.  It started out as a by-product of corn meal, but has become ingrained as a basic food.  Originally, it was only eaten by people who were too poor to do better, but as times got better it became a food of choice.  Grits are cooked by boiling, usually with some sort of seasoning, such as butter and salt, or maybe cheese.  They are delicious, but some folks on the forum don't seem to like them.  They are ignorant. ;D
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

Online Furby

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2005, 12:54:24 AM »
I did right after he posted that, but erased it so that I wouldn't get banned from the forum!
 :D :D :D :D :D :D




Ernie,
The truth is, grits are what ya feed the animals to fatten them up for the dinner table! ;) ;)

Offline Ianab

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #8 on: February 18, 2005, 01:14:18 AM »
Some forum Grits history.  :D

http://www.forestryforum.com/board/index.php?topic=7414.0

hmm.. and it seems that the "food group" is another little thing that got lost in the upgrade.

Not a biggie Jeff  ;)

Ian
Weekend warrior, Peterson JP test pilot, Dolmar 7900 and Stihl MS310 saws and  the usual collection of power tools :)

Offline KiwiCharlie

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2005, 01:28:17 AM »
Hey Ernie,
Been there, done that!  I think they laughed at me too (many moons ago) when I asked about grits!  :D  They seem obsessed with them!  I cant even think of a Kiwi similarity.  Except rotten corn (yes, its a real food!), but its not really down the same road!  :o :D
Charlie.
Walk tall and carry a big Stihl.

Offline Ernie

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2005, 01:40:20 AM »
hey Kiwi Charlie

I've heard of rotten corn and a Maori whitebaiting mate of mine even threaten to bring some over for me to try, but his description put me off, I'm too old to risk it.
A very wise man once told me . Grand children are great, we should have had them first

Offline LIL

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2005, 04:17:47 AM »
Ernie and KiwiCharlie
 
What about the kina!!!!???? :-X
Hobbies and Interests  

Interests revolve around my partners love of sawmills! - Hence being his NUMBER ONE OFFLOADER - Myself - I like the smell of sawdust. If I had my choice I would have BIG MACHINERY - who wouldnt want would their own combine harvester and an 18 wheeler (Scania)

Offline Fraxinus

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2005, 05:48:14 AM »

Hey guys!  Ernie don't know what grits is!

Sounds like Ernie is one of the lucky ones. :o
Grandchildren, Bluegrass music, old tractors, trees and sawmills.  It don't get no better'n that!

Offline tnlogger

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #13 on: February 18, 2005, 08:50:02 AM »
now ernie if you try them grits you needs to cook um just rite.
 you will never ever ever quit eating them  8) 8) 8)
 If ya ask ckate real nice he might tell ya the better ways to cook um .
 I think Da boss even like un even though he is one of them northen boys  :D :D
                 gene
gene

Offline sawguy21

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2005, 08:59:24 AM »
Jeff did come up with an interesting description of grits on another thread when I asked the same question. DanG, you are just going to have to keep preaching to the choir. No converts here ;D
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm

Offline Fla._Deadheader

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #15 on: February 18, 2005, 09:37:42 AM »

  I had a big ol plate of Grits for breakfast, this morning. Added butter, Bacon Grease and jalapeno cheese, to taste.  ;) ;)UUuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm.
All truth passes through three stages:
   First, it is ridiculed;
   Second, it is violently opposed; and
   Third, it is accepted as self-evident.

-- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)

Offline Cedarman

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #16 on: February 18, 2005, 10:25:54 AM »
You folks crack me up. :D :D :D :D :D
What a way to start the day.
I am in the pink when sawing cedar.

Offline moosehunter

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #17 on: February 18, 2005, 11:12:49 AM »
Ernie,
 There is only one subject that will bring more responses to a thread on this forum than food in general... and that is GRITS.
Moosehunter
"And the days that I keep my gratitude
Higher than my expectations
Well, I have really good days".    Ray Wylie Hubbard

Offline tnlogger

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #18 on: February 18, 2005, 11:20:30 AM »
wal now moosehunter the way i figger it is form the top of the food chain down is in order of importance.
#1 GRITS
#2 venison
#3 turnup greens and fat back.
#4 catfish.
  :D :D :D :D gene
gene

Offline JimY

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #19 on: February 18, 2005, 11:38:48 AM »
My little gal Audrey, age 2, has been showing exquisite culinary tastes of late.  She's eaten grits and collard greens in the same week.  ;D  She's gonna be a true GRIT (Girl raised in the South).  Even if her Mama was born in Connecticut.  ;)
Jim

Offline Texas Ranger

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #20 on: February 18, 2005, 12:42:29 PM »
I raised two of these GRITS girls my self (wife helped a little ::)) and they are as different as if they were raised way up north for one, and down home for the other. 

One will eat anything that doesn't run off the plate, the other is far more particular, both eat grits, even fried grits.  The particular one only wants the grits in its own bowl, the other is like dad, and likes to mix em up with the egg yellow, ham gravy, etc.

Oldest girl is the one with no food prejudices, used to have to take her to Houston for her orthodontist.  We would stop at Pappas Sea Food on the way home for lunch. I ordered a half dozen oysters on the half shell for an appetizer.  Daughter said "Dad, can I try one?"  followed by "Dad, can I have a half dozen?"
The Ranger, home of Texas Forestry

Offline MULE_MAN

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #21 on: February 18, 2005, 01:07:57 PM »
 JimY  that Sound like child ABUSE to me   :D    Hope you don't get turn in   ;D
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Offline KiwiCharlie

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #22 on: February 18, 2005, 02:46:50 PM »
Hi LIL,
Ive never been a fan of kina.  You see people all the time on the rocks just cracking them open and drinking them down. <shiver>
Charlie.
Walk tall and carry a big Stihl.

Offline KiwiCharlie

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #23 on: February 18, 2005, 02:51:07 PM »
Walk tall and carry a big Stihl.

Offline tnlogger

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #24 on: February 18, 2005, 03:31:08 PM »
now i gots to learn them differant name for all these differant foods  :D :D
 kina = sea urchins now i know about them spiney little critters.
 back before we moved below the M/D line we ate them all the time.
for all you brave at heart here a way to enjoy two of the seas finest.
OYSTER AND SEA URCHIN STEW
Servings: 4

16 oysters in the shell
8 sea urchins, or 1/2 cup sea urchin roe
1 bunch of spinach
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
5 tablespoons heavy cream
salt and white pepper
2 teaspoons fresh chives or parsley, finely chopped

Shuck the oysters into a bowl and refrigerate. Discard the shells.
Cut into the top of the sea urchins and then around the sides with
a strong pair of scissors. Carefully spoon out the orange or yellow
roe and reserve it in a small bowl in the refrigerator. If you're
serving the stew in the sea urchin shells, scrub them thoroughly
and dry them in a 200 degree oven.

Blanch the spinach leaves in boiling water for 30 seconds, rinse
them in a colander under cold running water, squeeze out the excess
water and reserve.

Warm the oysters in their liquid in a saucepan over medium heat
until the liquid barely begins to simmer at the edge of the pan
and the oysters begin to curl around the edges, about 3 minutes.

With a slotted spoon, transfer the hot oysters to a clean kitchen
towel or clean napkin so any grit will pull off the oysters and
cling to the towel. Strain the oyster-cooking liquid through a fine
strainer into a clean saucepan.

Add the lemon juice and 4 tablespoons of the heavy cream to the
oyster liquid and simmer gently for about 5 minutes, until the
mixture has the consistency of cold heavy cream. Meanwhile, simmer
the remaining tablespoon of cream in a small pan until it thickens.
Season with salt and pepper and add the spinach. Stir for a minute
over medium heat to heat the spinach. Arrange the spinach in a
small mound in the center of each soup plate or sea urchin shell.

Gently stir the chives, oysters and sea urchin roe into the oyster
sauce and heat gently--without boiling--for about 30 seconds.
Arrange the oysters and roe around and over the spinach. Make sure
everyone gets 4 oysters.

Spoon over the sauce.

Serve immediately.
gene

Offline Wudman

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Re: I just couldn't resist
« Reply #25 on: February 18, 2005, 05:14:20 PM »
Since this thread has degenerated into a topic on local table fare, I have a question for any of you "Northwoods" folks.  I took a trip up to Maine a few years back to look at a couple of jobs.  It was the spring of the year and the "fiddleheads" were budding.  Everywhere you looked were signs for fiddleheads. 

Being a well rounded connoisseur of table fare, I asked my host about them.  Being the gracious hosts that they were, a sampling of fiddleheads made it to the dinner table that night.  I was a little skeptical all along, but after a helping.....there was no doubt.  Who in the world wants to graze on a fern?  I guess collards must be pretty scarce north of the Mason Dixon.   ;D

Wudman
“You may tear down statues and burn buildings but you can’t kill the spirit of patriots and when they’ve had enough this madness will end.”
Charlie Daniels
July 4, 2020 (2 days before his death)


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