Grits Shortage

[btulloh]

 :D :D :D :D :D

[K-Guy]

@florida 

You must be related to the family that started John Deere.

A manure spreader that really piles it high!!!  :D

[florida]

WV Sawmiller
Hip waders? That hurt......but, let me tell you about those blue grits you mentioned.

Granddaddy was set back some by the grits failure but he did keep growing them for family use, we only needed about 2 tons to get through the year, there were 12 of us and we were light eaters. But, all good things must come to an end and that's what happened, grit rust. That rust got the entire crop and turned it solid blue! The flavor wasn't bad but there was something about a big bowl of blue grits that just didn't set right.  One evening Granddaddy was out in the grit patch wondering what he could do with all those blue grits when a stranger drove up. He turned out to be from central America and wanted to buy all the blue grits he could get, thought the people in his country would like them as they liked colorful food. Well, Granddaddy sold him the entire crop and threw in a big bag of those rust infected plants to boot! I'm sure we all know the rest; he took those plants and started a blue grits industry down in Mexico. Mostly they mash them into little flat things and eat them that way; to each his own I guess.

I've got to run but I'll explain later why northerners are so pale.

[thecfarm]

Can't be much of a secret, I mentioned my life time supply in that reply.  ;D 

[RichTired]

A few years before I retired, I was consulting at a pharma company outside Philly. I was staying a very nice Hilton property that had a restaurant. In the mornings, they had a chef (short order cook, but a real trained chef) at breakfast that would cook to order what every you wanted.  He made wonderful omelettes.  One day I asked him why he never had grits?  He said he didn't think they would go over very well.  I had been staying there off and on for over a year.  One Friday morning while he was making my omelette he stated he had some grits cooking in the back for me.  So a few minutes later he brought me out a bowl and they were pretty good.  A lady at the next table asked me where I got them and when I told her she asked the chef for a bowl.  

Long story short, he started cooking them on Fridays and they were a big hit.  

[two tired]

My bil planted a few seeds around the edge of the bayou 10 years ago, he got sick and passed away, I seen a load of grit stalk logs going toward the sawmill yesterday. I sure hope the loggers didn't cut the whole stand, they were the new strain just released 11 years ago, 24 inches at the  top and 30 feet long.

[WV Sawmiller]

   My uncle was in USAF stationed somewhere up north and he asked a local grocery store about getting grits and the man said he had to buy them 100 lbs at a time and did not think they would sell. Uncle told him to order them and if did not sell he'd buy the whole 100 lbs. The grocer bought them, sold a bag to uncle and advertised in store window "we have grits" and immediately sold out and reordered and ultimately picked up a lot of new customers in the process. 

[barbender]

I like grits, and I eat them every chance I get. However, I'm afraid if I had unlimited access to them I'd be full of BS as they seem to have that affect on you southerners😂😂

[thecfarm]

I think the only truth being spoken on this thread is coming from a Yankee.

[WV Sawmiller]

@thecfarm ,

 You better tread lightly here. Telling tall tales is a national sport in the south. In 1989 I met my dad on the Suannee River in Dixie County Fla and we were catfishing with set lines tied out along the bank of the river and catching lots of big blue and channel catfish. Dad had a #2 washtub in the back of his truck we'd put the fish in, pour a couple buckets of water over them then we'd go eat breakfast in a local cafe. While eating almost every day a mislocated/relocated yankee or two would come in and hear those fish splashing and see them then, breaking all the rules pertaining to fishing etiquette, would come in and ask "Who caught those big fish and what did you use for bait." Any southerner knew not to ask such a question or trust any answer you got. Dad would never break a smile and point to my son who was 11 at the time and say "That boy caught them on a cane pole in the canal down beside the road using grasshoppers for bait." By the end of our week my son was hooked and world reply "Yeah I had to stop because that was all I could carry" or "Yeah but I only had one #8 hook and a big one broke it" or "Yeah but I used up all my grasshoppers and decided to come eat breakfast instead of catching more."

  We'd come out after breakfast and yankees would be out there causing traffic jams chasing grasshoppers in the medium and parked on the edge of the road fishing in old canals that had not seen a fish in years. If my son had had another week there with Dad we'd never have got him to tell the truth so we could believe him.

[barbender]

And how do we know if we can believe you know?🤷🏽‍♂️😂

[thecfarm]

This Yankee don't believe another fisherman no matter what.  ;D

[GAB]

 
Remember too that @thecfarm has a stash that he is keeping secret!!    They are the "Instant" kind but hey, you gots what you gots.  :D

Mr. Davis:
When I delivered those goodies and my wife took that photo, I never in my wildest dreams could of contemplated that SIX years later you would still be getting very good mileage out of it.  Now since you paid for the grits and paid the postage to get them to me I feel you are entitled.  
Now if anyone want to see what I sent MM in payment visit "Crime does pay".
I'd like to think I properly compensated him for his help in this caper.
Ray: Thanks for being a good sport.
Gerald

[petefrom bearswamp]

Of course you can grow grits here, but on my bag of Bob's red mill grits in VERY small print it says not to plant until all danger of frost is past.
I'm screwed until late June as frost is possible until Memorial day and this variety takes 4 weeks to mature.
A neighbor does have a combine with a grits head and only charges 100 bucks per acre to harvest.
Oh I nearly forgot this.
Us glaciated folk know that a bag of grits in the bed of your PU or trunk of your car is a must when the roads are either snow or ice covered.
A few handfuls under the tires will give unbelievable traction when you are stuck.
Of course they ARE grits after all.

[WV Sawmiller]

@petefrom bearswamp

  I am very disappointed in you. >:( You rotated from north to south and back and being the trusting souls we southerners are, we took you into our strictest confidence and shared and now you have breached the sacred trust about our deeply hidden secrets about using grits for traction on snow and ice which has allowed many a loyal and dedicated southerner who remembered sudden urgent business back home in the dead of winter and often late at night to safely return home while others with questionable intent and in hot pursuit were left behind spinning hopelessly on the side of some back road with only their flashing blue lights for company. :D

[florida]

Pete
You should be planting the "mush" seeds. They can be planted in the fall and come up in the spring. They are a poor substitute for Girls but you're getting close. We must have better trucks down there than you can get, I haven't been stuck in the snow for 30 years. I expect its the extra weight I carry from eating grits that keeps the wheels from spinning.

[Magicman]

Oh and to think that I showed Pete my Royal Signet Ring and gave him the secret handshake.  :  Is there nothing sacred anymore??  

[sawguy21]

Well, I am afraid I will be unable to follow this most informative subject for some time. My computer's bs detection circuit just blew a main fuse and they are in short supply due to the corona virus. ;D

[WV Sawmiller]

  I knew it was bound to happen! >:( Here we had a truly American issue even though Tule Peak almost dragged our friends south of the border into it with his polenta posts now Sawguy has dragged the Canucks into our private affairs. The next thing you know we will be having Kiwis and Aussies and maybe even a Brit or two muddling into our private grits affairs. I hate it when issues like this become international incidents. :( Oh well, it was bound to happen. : :D :D :D

[florida]

I know everyone is just dying to hear the rest of the story of the grits..

As I mentioned before
The rust pretty much ended growing Girls in the south; the farmers in the Midwest saw an opening and started growing Girls on a big scale and the rust didn't bother them there. Pretty soon they were producing Girls for the whole world and you can imagine the kind of money a good Girl crop could bring.  But then if you've ever farmed you know that disaster is always right around the corner and that's what happened to the Girl farmers, came a year of heavy rains and the entire Girls crop rolled into the Mississippi River. All along the southern Mississippi people only had to dip a Girl net into the river to get all they could eat for free. Pretty soon the banks of the river all the way to New Orlea were lined with people Girl netting free Girls.  The lucky southerners grew fat and healthy eating Girls and there was none left for the northerners so they grew up pale and undernourished.

Granddaddy went on to develop the famous hominy vine and for a few years had great success with raisin trees but that's another story.

[barbender]

That's pretty good, we look a bit pekid from a lack of grits 🤔😂

[tule peak timber]

Polenta is from Italy for heaven's sake, mas -arena (spelling??) is from south of the border. I'm going back to work..............

[WV Sawmiller]

TPT,

You mean Itlie ain't south of the border? All them furin places look the same to me. Thanks for setting the record straight even if you are dragging outsiders into our domestic problems. :D

  I guess the next thing we know the African countries will be writing in about their Mealie shortages which is just their home grown version of grits. I watched a Himba woman in Namibia grind some with a couple of river rocks then she cooked them in a fire made from the cobs. I guess they don't have TP shortages over there yet either.

[tule peak timber]

Heck, what do I know...I married a foreign import.

[Bradm]

I don't know if anyone else has noticed, or maybe there's a forum bug, but G rits appear to have been replaced by the word girls on my screen.  If anything, it makes for an even more comical read.