Author Topic: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral (Read 1456 times)

WV Sawmiller · « **Reply #20 on:** October 27, 2020, 10:20:21 AM »

Hammer.

That's what got my BIL. It took my dad's larynx and the last 15-18 years of his life he just had to write notes as he could not talk or use the devices to talk (They worked a few years then he got scar tissue in his throat). I think of how proud he would have been to see the man and woman my kids have become and their kids. He was smoking 3-4 packs a day till the throat cancer hit.

Sedgehammer · « **Reply #21 on:** October 27, 2020, 10:33:51 AM »

Quote from: WV Sawmiller on October 27, 2020, 10:20:21 AM

Hammer.

That's what got my BIL. It took my dad's larynx and the last 15-18 years of his life he just had to write notes as he could not talk or use the devices to talk (They worked a few years then he got scar tissue in his throat). I think of how proud he would have been to see the man and woman my kids have become and their kids. He was smoking 3-4 packs a day till the throat cancer hit.

Sad. we're all gonna go, but it sure don't need to be like that or extra early..... As John Wayne said "life's hard. It's even harder when you're stupid".

Bruno of NH · « **Reply #22 on:** October 27, 2020, 07:32:46 PM »

Sorry for your loss.
It's even harder with the family issues.
Even though I haven't met everyone on the FF I consider them like family.
Like Zeke says we are here for ya.

Sedgehammer · « **Reply #23 on:** October 27, 2020, 09:28:49 PM »

Quote from: Bruno of NH on October 27, 2020, 07:32:46 PM

Sorry for your loss.
It's even harder with the family issues.
Even though I haven't met everyone on the FF I consider them like family.
Like Zeke says we are here for ya.

Awesome. Thanks!

Sedgehammer · « **Reply #24 on:** October 28, 2020, 02:22:21 AM »

I just remembered something as a kid. First time my family was mean to me that I can remember.

I was 5 or 6. My dad kept me out of school to go with him and my mom to farmer appreciation day at a local Case dealership. They had a drawing for some gifts. I was the only kid, so they had me pull the names out of one of those things you turn that is a cage. I think my dad got a grease gun. Well at the end they gave me a 1370 Case with duals and a cab toy tractor. I didn't really care for real case tractors, but I sure was proud of that. That was in the winter. I remember the cold and snow. So I might have been 6. Well anyways that summer I had a play area in the dirt right next to the granary. The granary was up on a rock foundation, but had gaps. One of these gaps was my shed. it was also near the gas and diesel fuel pumps, so the ground was bare. I had that tractor 'plowing' on the outside edge of the fuel tank area. My uncle came over from his farm right next door to borrow a piece of equipment (the haybine I think) with the Super MTA. I was under the granary when he pulled in, so he didn't see me. I watched as he was driving past where i was playing and he turned last minute to move over 5' to run over my tractor and then I saw a grin on his face. That *pithed me off.

Ed_K · « **Reply #25 on:** October 30, 2020, 09:49:04 AM »

That would'a pithed me off too. I'm just getting caught up here,had to go thru new treatments. I want to say I'm sorry your mom passed.

Sedgehammer · « **Reply #26 on:** October 30, 2020, 09:56:42 AM »

Quote from: Ed_K on October 30, 2020, 09:49:04 AM

That would'a pithed me off too. I'm just getting caught up here,had to go thru new treatments. I want to say I'm sorry your mom passed.

Yeah it did. I had forgotten about it, lost many memories when i hit my head, but out of the blue it popped back up. weird.
Thanks, but your ordeal is much more concerning. Hope you're doing well

Hilltop366 · « **Reply #27 on:** October 30, 2020, 06:17:24 PM »

Sort for you loss.

I wonder if your local clergy could do a private service to honour your Mom for you and your family.

Sedgehammer · « **Reply #28 on:** October 31, 2020, 04:05:14 AM »

Quote from: Hilltop366 on October 30, 2020, 06:17:24 PM

Sort for you loss.

I wonder if your local clergy could do a private service to honour your Mom for you and your family.

Thanks.
I'm sure there could be, but my mom was living with my sister and her husband and I haven't even been told by either of them. I had to find it out 2nd hand. she also did the obit, didn't check any of it with anyone and it's wrong and it says a celebration of life will be done at a later time due to covid.

Old saw fixer · « **Reply #29 on:** November 01, 2020, 09:44:40 AM »

Sorry for your loss, Sledgehammer. Some of my siblings don't share news either.

sawguy21 · « **Reply #30 on:** November 01, 2020, 10:44:47 AM »

My mom didn't want a full on funeral, she said a family gathering would be fine with her. Of course my sister had to organize a public memorial, I had to fly down on short notice if I wanted to attend! If I didn't no matter to her. Typical

Old saw fixer · « **Reply #31 on:** November 01, 2020, 07:20:20 PM »

My folks wanted to be cremated and their ashes spread on the beach at Cape Cod where they had good memories. One sibling decided a dark niche in a columbarium in Arlington National Cemetery was a better place. I kind of gave up on them then...

Sedgehammer · « **Reply #32 on:** November 01, 2020, 10:30:50 PM »

Quote from: Old saw fixer on November 01, 2020, 07:20:20 PM

My folks wanted to be cremated and their ashes spread on the beach at Cape Cod where they had good memories. One sibling decided a dark niche in a columbarium in Arlington National Cemetery was a better place. I kind of gave up on them then...

Quote from: Old saw fixer on November 01, 2020, 09:44:40 AM

Sorry for your loss, Sledgehammer. Some of my siblings don't share news either.

Thanks, appreciate that I does!
I hear ya. I don't know why people need to be like that. I guess it gives them power they think. I've told my wife I want to be smoked and 1/2 my ashes buried with her when she passes and the other 1/2 to be spread in a few different places.

Sedgehammer · « **Reply #33 on:** November 01, 2020, 10:33:18 PM »

Quote from: sawguy21 on November 01, 2020, 10:44:47 AM

My mom didn't want a full on funeral, she said a family gathering would be fine with her. Of course my sister had to organize a public memorial, I had to fly down on short notice if I wanted to attend! If I didn't no matter to her. Typical

She did that for her own self viewed importance and she let you know about it in no uncertain terms. I'm right there with ya....

Brad_S. · « **Reply #34 on:** November 04, 2020, 10:44:26 PM »

Very sorry for your loss.

I have a friend whose father died a couple weeks ago. Couldn’t have a viewing in the funeral home because of Covid rules. The man had been a concrete contractor although the business has been dormant for well over a decade. Still, he had the shop where he used to make equipment repairs. The family laid him out in his shop...which was always his happy place anyhow. All his friends and family came to visit, there were no quotas that had to be observed. Very smart move on their part; hundreds of people showed up! His son led the funeral procession with the gentleman’s well used backhoe with an American flag clamped to one side of the bucket and the Marine Corps flag clamped to the other. Very fitting goodbye to a hard-working man.

It just goes to show there are ways around the rules

Sedgehammer · « **Reply #35 on:** November 05, 2020, 07:57:37 AM »

@Brad_S. Thanks.

That's pretty cool and I'm sure he wood've wanted it that way even without the ccp virus.

That wood take family working together. Not my family.

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