The Real Diary Of A Real Boy.

[Jeff]

*********************************
April 20. have been sick for 4 days.  went to school monday and had
to come home.  when i got home i fell down on the steps and mother
and aunt Sarah came out and got me in the house and put water on my
head and rubbed my hands, and then the Doctor came and said, well
Joanna, children are a good deel of truble and then he felt of my
rist and said hum, and then he looked at my tung and said hum again,
and then he pride open my mouth and looked down my throte and said
hum, and then he pulled off my close and looked me over rite before
mother and aunt Sarah and said well he aint spekled eny.  then he
said what have you given him Joanna and mother said, nothing, and
the docter said, all right give him some more, and mother said i
havent given him enything docter, and then he walked around the room
and picked up some things and looked at them and then he gave me
some of the wirst tasting stuff i ever took.  then he said i gess he
will be better tomorrow, and then he looked at some more things and
went home.  i dident sleep very well that nite but was auful hot and
my head aked fearful.  mother was in my room every time i waked up,
and Sarah too.  next day i had the docter again he looked at some
pictures and things and told mother to give me some more.  i always
feel better when the docter comes in.  he dont scare a feller to
deth.

Well the next day i felt a little better and tried to sit up and
have my britches on, but i had to lay down again my head aked so,
and after awhile my head felt better and as i laid there i could
look out of the window and it seamed as if little chains that you
could see through like glass, were floating up and down they were
about an inch long.  well i wached them till i almost went to sleep
and jest as i was most asleep i heard Beany out in the street
holler, say Pewt, did you know that Plupy is going to die, and Pewt
said course i did, why dont you tell me some news, and Beany said i
heard he swalowed a peach stone and Pewt said it was liver
complaint, and then i heard some one say, you boys shet up.

Gosh you bet i was scart.  i hadent thought of dying.  i began to howl
and holler for mother.  she came running in and i told her i was
going to die and i told her about breaking the gaslite and a lot of
other things and she told me the docter said i was getting better
and i wood sit up tomorrow.  well i better then and wished i hadent
told mother about the gaslite becaus i knew she wood make me tell
father.  well mother set by my bed all the afternoon and read me some
out of Billy Bolegs, jest think of her doing that, so when supper
time came i et a lettle tost and had some current jelly.  when father
come home mother told him about the gaslite and all he said was i
wood have to pay for it out of my cornet money.  i thought he wood
keep me in for a month.  i gess mother must have talked to him.

that nite father slep on a lounge in my room.  i went to sleep most
as soon as he come in.  after awhile i dremp i was tied on a sawlog
jest going nearer and nearer to the saw and the saw was a going
skratch-zoo, skratch-zoo, skratch-zoo.  well i tride to pull away but
i coodent move and i tride to holler and i coodent make a yip, and
jest before the saw sawed into me i woke up.  gosh you bet i was
glad, but the funny part was that i could hear the saw going
skratch-zoo, skratch-zoo, skratch-zoo, and what do you think it
was.  it was father snoring.  gosh you ought to have heard him.  well
at first i laffed, but by and by i wanted to go to sleep and father
snoring so loud i coodent till mother came in and told him to go to
bed and she laid on the sofa all nite.  the next day i set up and had
my britches on and set up to the window all day.  i saw Beany and
Pewt and i nocked on the window and waved my claw at them.  i am
going out tomorrow.

April 22. i went out today.  it was real warm.  i dident go to church
becaus i had been sick.  i let my rooster out to fite J. Albert
Clark's.  they were fiting good when i looked up and there was father
looking over the fence.  he made me stop the fite and shet my rooster
up.  i wonder if he wood have stoped them if i hadent been there.  i
got 2 eggs today, the old brama that i swaped for with Ed Tole and a
bolten gray that John Adams give me.

April 23. i went to school today.  i dident have to resite becaus i
had been sick.  if i dont get wirse i can goto Mis Packerds concert
tomorow.  hope it wont rane.

April 24. brite and fair and it dident rane tonite, so i went to the
concert. all the girls was flowers.  Keene was a crocuss and had to
come out and sing first becaus the crocuss is the first flower that
comes out.  she sung i am the first of all the flowers to greet the
eyes of spring.

Jenny Morison was a tuch me not and set in the top of a rock and
sung tuch me not, tuch me not let me alone.  Nell Tole was a piny or
a sunflower i have forgot whitch.  Jenny Morison and Keene and Nell
Tole are the best singers for their size in town.  father thinks
Keene can sing the best.  he feels pretty big about Keene.  i told him
so one day and he said he had to becaus i dident amount to
enything.  i think Jenny Morison can sing the best but dont tell him
so for he wood give me a bat.

*********************************

[Dave Shepard]

Why do you suppose the saw went skratch-zoo, skratch-zoo? Up and down sash saw?


Dave

[Don_Papenburg]

I rekon so ;D

[sawguy21]

'Gosh you bet i was scart.  i hadent thought of dying.  i began to howl
and holler for mother.'  :D :D

[Jeff]

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April 25, 186- Cant go down town for a week becaus i sassed
J. Albert Clark, that is J. Albert Clark says I sassed him but i
dident.  Beany had been working for J. Albert raking up leaves in his
garden.  J. Albert was a going to give him 10 cents for it and me and
Beany was a going to divide up on goozeberries and juju paist, but
Beany dident dass to ask J. Albert for his pay because he had raked
all the leaves under J. Alberts front steps and he was afraid
J. Albert wood find out about it and not pay him.  Beany wanted me to
ask him but i dident dass to because i let my rooster out to fite
J. Alberts last Sunday and J. Albert dont believe in fiting
roosters.  last night he was setting on his steps with some company
and he had on his best lavender britches and his best blew coat.

So Beany said, tell you what Plupy, you set on your steps and i will
set on my steps and we will holler across the street about the money
that J. Albert owes me.  So Beany he went across the street to his
steps and he hollered over, hi there Plupy have you got any chink,
and i hollered back, no Beany i havent got a cent, and Beany he
hollered i shood have 10 cents if J. Albert Clark wood pay me what
he owes me, and i hollered why in time dont he pay you, and Beany
hollered i gess he hasent got any chink, and i hollered he has
probably spent all his chink in buying them lavender britches, and
Beany he hollered, well if J. Albert Clark needs the money more
than I do he can have it.  well while we was hollering mister Head
and the Head girls who was setting on their steps got up and went
into the house laffing, and the company at J. Alberts all laffed,
and J. Albert came down and beckoned to Beany and Beany he went
running over to get his 10 cents and J. Albert he said, Elbridge,
that is Beanys name, Elbridge you cood have your money enny time if
you had asked me for it decently, but now i shall not pay you for a
week and i shall not imploy you enny more.  Tell you what, Beany came
over to my steps feeling pretty cheap and we was talking about it
when mother called me in and sent me up stairs, and said she wood
tell father as soon as he came home.  So i went up stairs and looked
out of the window jest in time to see Beanys father lugging Beany in
by the neck.  Well that nite after father got home he jawed me and
said i coodent go down town for a week and made me go to J. Alberts
right before the company and ask his forgiveness, and Beany had to
to.  J. Albert was a pretty good fellow and said it was all right,
and dident want our fathers not to let us go down town, but father
said i must learn to be respectable to my elders.  Gosh we dident
know J. Albert was a elder.  We knowed elder Stevens and elder
Stewart and deacon Gooch and we always was respectable to them, and
if we had knowed that J. Albert Clark was a elder we woodent have
sassed him for nothing.

***********************************

[Fraxinus]

Time to bump this back to the top of page one.  What a great story.  I really loved the part about him and Beany hollering back and forth from their doorsteps. :D :D :D

[Jeff]

oops!  I'm not doing my job.  Hang on there...

[Jeff]

OK, I'm back.  ;D

**************************************

April 26. Yesterday and day before it was brite and fair, and
yesterday was as warm as summer.  today, it was cold and it snowed a
little.  jest enuf to make the ground look as if it was covered with
salt.  the birds looked all humped up.  i bet the frogs hind legs is
about froze.  it is raining now.  if i was a frog i woodent come out
of the mud until summer.  perhaps they cant stay under more than six
months.

April 27. Warm again.  2 eggs today.  i have got another hen.  Willyam
Perry Molton gave it to me.  it is a leghorn and his other hens
licked it and made its comb bludy and so he gave it to me.  it was on
the nest today but did not lay.  i went to church.  Mr. Cram
preeched.  he talked all about birds and flowers and i liked it.

April 28. brite and fair.  all 3 hens were on the nest but dident
lay.

April 29. no eggs today.  mother said the hens cackled all the
morning.  brite and fair.

April 30. i dont see what the mater is with my hens.  i havent got 1
egg this week.  father said there was a rat in the koop.  i got a
steel trap of Sam Diar and tonite i set it in the koop.  i put a
peace of cheeze on it.  tomorrow morning i ges mister rat wont steal
any more eggs.

May 1. what do you think.  this morning i got up to get my rat and i
found that my best hen, the bolton gray that John Adams gave me had
tried to pick the cheeze out of the trap and the trap had caught her
by the neck and killed her.  i felt most bad enuf to cry.  i thought i
cood get up before the hen did.  i went to the may brekfast today.  it
was may-fair day and they had a brekfast.  me and Pewt, Beany,
Whacker and Pozzy Chadwick, Micky Gould, Pop Clark, Prisilla Hobbs,
Chick Chick-ering, Potter Gorham, Pile Wood, Curly Conner and all
the fellers were there.  we had a good time and et till just before
school time and we had to hiper so as not to be late.

May 2. no eggs today.  both hens went on the nest.  i am going to lay
for that rat with my bowgun.

May 3. what do you think.  this noon i set in the hen koop 1
hour.  the brama went on the nest and set a while and came off and
cakled, then i looked and she had lade an egg.  i left the egg there
and hid behind a barrel and got my bowgun ready for the rat.  well
the leghorn hen went on the nest and i suposed she was a going to
lay, but she broke rite into that egg and began to gobble it up.  i
was so mad that i let ding at her with the bowgun and just then she
stuck up her head and the arrow took her rite in the back of the
head.  well i wish you cood have seen her.  she hollered one little
pip and then went rite out of the nest backwards and flapped round
awful.  i picked her up and she was dead.  i dident mean to kill her,
i only wanted to make her jump and learn her not to eat eggs.  O
dear, i dont know what father will say when he finds it out.

***************************************

[sprucebunny]

Plupy's chickens had a bad week :D :D 

[Burlkraft]

I didn't know chickens ate cheese...... :D :D :D :D

I laughed so hard I almost cried..... :D :D :D

[asy]

Must admit, as he was setting the rat trap, I'm yelling (on the inside) at the screen...  NO PLUPY, THATS NOT A GOOD PLAN, IT'LL END BADLY...  For the chicken...

I was right.

Sure 'nuff.

Looks like lots of chicken soup at chataux de plupy this week...

Not much scrambled eggs, though.

asy :D

[brdmkr]

I need a little history on this guy!  My grandfather was named Curly Conner!  Where did this guy live and what year was this written?  Anybody know?

[Jeff]

New England.   

There is a brief description of the book at the beginning, and there will be a pretty detailed one at the end.  ;)

[Fraxinus]

I need a little history on this guy!  My grandfather was named Curly Conner!  Where did this guy live and what year was this written?  Anybody know?

Exeter, New Hampshire, right after the Civil War, 186?.  I bet this one would probably be a little old to be your grandfather.

[sawguy21]

Mebbe. How old is brdmkr? Inquiring minds need to know. ;)

[brdmkr]

Mebbe. How old is brdmkr? Inquiring minds need to know. ;)

NO where near old enough for my grandpappy to have been a friend of this guy.  That is just a strange name to be the same.  I suppose it COULD be a great grandpa, but I don't know anything about my family tree beyond my grandparents.

[Fraxinus]

If my grandfather was alive, he'd be 131 years old and even that wouldn't be enough to have grown up with that Curly Conner.  Grampa was born December 10, 1875.

[Jeff]

**************************

May 5, 186- Saw a bully fite today.  Cris Staples and Charlie
Clark.  Charlie is visiting his uncle J. Albert Clark, the feller
that we sassed.  that is he said we did but we dident.  Charlie is a
city feller, he lives in Chelsy and think he knows a pile about
things and gets mad if we call him names.  now every feller who
amounts to anything has a nickname, and some of them have 2 or 3. my
nicknames are Plupy and Skinny and Polelegs, and Beany is called
Bullethead and sometimes Fatty.  i told Charlie that if i called him
Charlie the fellers would call him sissy or Mary and he better agree
to let me call him bulldog or tomcat or diddly or gobbler or some
nickname whitch wood mean something.  but he said he would lam the
head off of enny feller which called him names.  well you jest see
what trouble he got into for not having a nickname.  he would have
knowed better than that if he hadent lived in Chelsy.

Well today me and Charlie was setting on his steps.  Beany was mad
because i was going with Charlie and he had gone riding with his
father and he felt pretty big because his father let him drive.  well
while we were setting there along came Cris Staples who carries
papers for Lane and Rollins store, and Cris hollered over, hullo
Polelegs.  Charlie hadent heard enyone call me Polelegs.  and i said,
i woodent stand that if i was you Charlie, now less see you lam the
head off of him, and Charlie he started across the road and walked
up to Cris and said who in time are you calling Polelegs and Cris
wasent going to back down and said, you, and Charlie said jest drop
them papers and i will nock your face rite off, and Cris dropped his
papers and they went at it.  it was the best fite i have seen this
year.  they fit from Mr. Head's down to Gim Ellisons corner, and Cris
licked time out of Charlie, and Charlie began to yell and give up
and then Cris let go of his hair and told him he was to smart, and
that it was me he was calling Polelegs and not him, and he better
not be so smart another time, and Cris he picked up his papers and
went off with a great slit in his jacket and his necktie way round
on one side, and Charlie came home howling and Aunt Clark, Charlie's
grandmother came out and said, that is what you get Charlie for
quareling.  see how much better Harry feels, and i said, yes
mam.  Charlie is never going to speak to me again.

May 7. Beany was pretty mad when I told him about the fite because
he dident see it.  i gess he will find it don't pay to get mad with
me.  i saw Charlie today but he dident speak.  he has got a black
eye.  Cris has got a funny looking nose on one side.

**************************

[Dave Shepard]

Ol' Plupy's got a streak of the devil in him!

"Cris has got a funny looking nose on one side." ROFL!


Dave

[sawguy21]

I love this thread.  :D :D :D :D :D

[asy]

We all do!!! 

asy :D :D :D

[Handy Andy]

  Boardmaker, you can find your family history on rootsweb world connect project.  Just type your grandpa's name in, and everybody who has that name in their tree, their page comes up.  Just look at the pages until the dates look right, and they probably go back from there.  Found mine on rootsweb, goes back to Jamestown. 
                                                         Jim

[Faron]

Jim/Handy  Andy,  Man, that site does have lots of information!  I traced part of my family back 15 generations from the youngest, my grandkids.  That takes us back to 1550 and a shoemaker in Switzerland.

[Handy Andy]

  I think I'm 15th generation American.    The first 4 or 5  are a little hard to prove.

[Jeff]

*********************************
May 8. Chitter Robinson went in swiming today.  i bet it was cold.

May 9. Went down to the high school yard tonite to hear the band
play.  they have got a new leader a Mister Ashman of Boston.  he can
play the cornet with 1 hand.  i went down today to pay the gasman for
the gaslite i broke.  it cost 1 dollar and i have only got 87 cents
for my cornet.  sometimes i dont believe i shall ever get that
cornet.  Scott Brigam can blow a bugle.  a bugle is like a cornet only
a cornet has 3 keys and a bugle is all covered with flappers and
curly things where you put your fingers.  Rashe Belnap can play a
cornet splendid but he dont play very often.  Frank Hirvey plays one
that goes over his shoulder way behind his back.  gosh i wish i cood
get a cornet.

May 10. father has found out about my killing that hen.  he dident
get mad but said i ought to have cut her head off and she wood be
good to eat, but i supose it is to late now for it is almost a week
ago and i burried her the next day.

May 11. me and Potter Gorham went mayflowering today.  i got a bunch
and sold them to a student named Chizzum for 35 cents.  i put it with
my cornet money.  i have now got $1.22. i can get a cornet for 25
dollars a second hand one.  i am afraid i shall never get that
cornet.

May 12. Rany last nite and this morning.  in the afternoon it cleared
up.  gosh i wish you cood see the licking Beany got tonite.  me and
Beany went out to go up to see Pewt and make some sweet fern
sigars.  Beany came over for me and went up to Pewts.  on the way
Beany went up an rung his doorbell and we hid behind the fence and
Mister Watson, Beany's father, came out holding a light and shading
it with his hand.  the wind blew the lite out and in going in again
he hit his head an awful bump against the door.  me and Beany nearly
died laffing only we tride not to laff too loud.  well we went up to
Pewts and Pewt had been sent to bed for something and so we started
back and met a man who said is this you Elbridge, it was pretty dark
and Beany said yes and Mister Watson grabbed us both by the collar
and said, so you are the boys who rung my doorbell and then he give
Beany a rap on the side of the head and began to shake him round
lively and while he was shaking Beany up i put for home.  i hid
behind the fence and i cood hear him say i will learn you to
asosiate with that misable Shute boy and wast your time ringing
doorbells, and Beany was saying, o father i will never do it
again.  i nearly died laffing to hear Beany a rattling round on the
sidewalk.  i hope Mister Watson wont tell father.  i gess he wont for
he gets over his mad pretty quick.  every time i think of Beanys legs
flying round in the air i giggle rite out and when i think of Mister
Watson bumping his head i nearly die.  sometimes i think it pays to
be tuff.

May 13, 186- Keene and Cele have got some new crokay slippers.  you
bet they feel pretty big about it.

May 14. nothing particular today.

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