Colloquialisms,

[Slabs]

I don't think I've seen one that I haven't either used or at least heard but I've hesitated to use some of them cause I've been"shot out of the saddle" for some of my own.

[WDH]

One of my favorites is, "You can't catch a rabbit with your dog tied."

[Mooseherder]

DanG straight.
I got a few more where those come from.
If you chill out and quit dogging me.  
I'll come thru in the clutch and maybe raise the roof ;D
I hail from West Palm, the home of bad grills, bling bling and hanging chads.
But I'll try to stick to the matter at hand.
Now I gotta fess up.
Back in the day when I was a young whipper snapper, I rode shotgun with a friend down to the sunshine.
Wasn't like Batman and Robin type friends, more like gelling wit Yoko Ono type friends.  He is a strange cat.  What a zero.;)
We ain't friends no more.  Bad JuJu.
I got tired of looking at his wife beater shirts, his barn doors open, the Thanks for bailing me out man excuses and whatever he brought home wit him when he had the beer goggles on. :D
Somebody was always calling the Five-O on him or givin' him a thumper.
When I was bousta leave. ;D
He got all fired up cause I had most of the Benjamins.  He wanted a piece of me.
I told him to drink his bunk coffee and shut his word hole. What a bozo.
I ain't buzzed him since and I ain't gonna buzz him later.
If he's still gotta beef, big whoop. I'm over it.
So, I got a new gig and ain't been bamboozled since.

(this is not a true story) :D

[Sprucegum]

The ones I heard most often at home were:

Money don't grow on trees

If you can't be good for G'd sake be careful

It's so crowded in here ya can't cuss a cat without gettin' hair in yer teeth

[Bill Johnson]

Strong like bull...smart like streetcar!
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
As bright as a bag of burnt out light bulbs
Not the quickest bunny in the bush
Not playing with a full deck
:D

[Cedarman]

That hurt worse than slidin' down a razor blade into a pool of alcohol.

If you took his brain magnified it a 1000 times and but it in a thimble and shook it, it would be like bb rolling around in a boxcar.

[iffy]

His elevator don't go clear to the top.
He's rowin' with one oar.
He's suckin' hind teat
Fits like a saddle on a sow
She had purple marks all over from a 10' stick
His family tree don't have no branches
Ah, you know, old "whistle d---"

[Fla._Deadheader]

Asy
This needs a good ole outback bush story, IN AUSSIE words.  ;) ;D ;D ;D ;D

[ErikC]

A couple we use way out west...
"It's hotter'n the hubs of hell"
"no more sense than a pet coon"
"goofy as a wooden watch

[isawlogs]

I have been reading all of these , and it came to me most of these could be describing most any politician that I know  ;D
   

• no more sense than a pet coon
• goofy as a wooden watch

• He's suckin' hind teat
  
• His family tree don't have no branches

• Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
• And the list can go on and on

                ;D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[woodbowl]

Looks like you've got the cart befor the horse.

Got champane ideas on a beer budget.

The squeeky wheel gets the greese.

What you want to sell that mule for? ... Money!

I've been so busy, I met myself comming back.

[Radar67]

He thinks he is hot snot on a silver platter, ain't nothing but a cold bugger on a paper plate.

[Sprucegum]

Most politians are

    "All hat with no cattle"

[WDH]

He has a full 6-pack, but he is missing the plastic thingy that holds it all together.

[Bill Johnson]

Some of the earthier ones were

Cold enough to freeze the nuts off an iron bridge

Colder than a witches teat

drop ya like diarrhoea off a branch :-[

[limbrat]

If it was mine i would put a five wire fence around it.
could clear a ten rail fence.
there big enuff to stand flat footed and step over or in dump truck.
alot of buzzing for a little honey
momma must pay for his
drunker than cooter brown
it aint worth knowin
stood out like a fart in church
cute as a tick
aint got a lick of sense
when they was passin out brains he thought they said rain and he ran for cover.
he or she was picked before they were ripe

[Bro. Noble]

This might need to be moved to that 'Stumpin' thread,  cause it could very well have been said about old 'edited' ;D

He (she) talks like a sxxx salesman with a mouthfull of samples ;)

[Don_Papenburg]

Slickern 'a cats whisle
  stiffern'a weddin' di##
She /He  is so fat when they tell em to haul a$$ they gotta take two trips
   Rolled over like a drunken dinosoar
Hotter than a fresh ----Word for intercourse--- fox in a forrest fire
  Missing the toy outa his happy meal
Born at night just not last night

[Mooseherder]

Dijya catch that?  We are good to go.
Y'all done a bang up job wit deese hear sayings.
Better knock on wood fore ya get to hear anymore.
Be right back so sit a spell.
I wish I could take a picture of myself sporting my new do, cause then I'd ask How do you like my new do?
So go ahead and one up me MacGyver. :D

[DanG]

Mooseherder, you been down there too long, Man! :D :D

"I'll be on yo butt like ugly on a ape!"

"Ya can't get there from here, ya gotta go somewhere else ta start."

"She jumped on him like a hen on a june bug."

"He's just as happy as if he had sense."

"I know she cain't hep it, but she coulda stayed home."

[pigman]

He ain't got the sense God gave a goose.    
 (My mother said that about me on more than one occassion) ;D

[sawguy21]

"They were all over it like stink on a wet dog" I had to laugh when talking to a supplier in California. She mentioned that I had to be Canadian and I asked her what was the first clue.  I had referred to driving distance in hours instead of miles, apparently it is a Canadian thing. :D

[woodbowl]

This is about as cordial as a wet dog at a wedding.

He's blind in one eye and can't see out of the other one.

It's better to owe the man money, rather than beat him out of it.

Better than snuff and ain't half as dusty.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

Can't get blood from a turnip.

It's about 6 of one and half a dozen of the other.

The difference in a so so meal and a good meal is about 3 hours.

If I could get 12" lumber out of your 8" logs, I wouldn't be sawing for a living.  

He's got more dollars than cents. (sense)

He stood there lookin' like a cow at a new gate.

(first date, holding a womans cold hand) You been playing with a frog ain't cha?

[Mooseherder]

DanG,  We're Green  (in agreement) ;D

One of deeze days,  gonna getwidit.
I'm gonna stop beating around the bush.
Busta move and Bang a U-turn. :D

We gotta get outta this place.
If it's the last thing we ever do.  (remember that song)

[J_T]

Moosehearder was that back when we had four in the floor and a fith under the seat  :D ???