My Porch Coon

[SwampDonkey]

Got a sack and a stone?  :

[sprucebunny]

KevJay, your little coon is SO cute !

I'd just call it Lucky. 

[WDH]

Does that mean that if it belonged to Swamp Donkey, its name would be "Unlucky" :D ;D.

[pappy]

Got five of them lil critters still in the ole barn  :(  ...  Game warden says shot the mom and remove the squrits... They haven't come near the house yet,  ole yeller's ( BW) doin' his job  ;)  so I guess I'll just live and let live and see if they'll move on later...

Anyone want a pack a bandits ??

[asy]

Patty and Roxie, I picked both of those up too, couldn't figure out how in daylights they were gonna chase a coon with no spine!!! hehe

Kevjay, the baby coon is so gorgeous! What are you doing with it? Seems most ppl on here deem the coons to be 'vermin', are they considered such everywhere, or just some places? Are you going to grow it up and let it go? (If you are, I strongly suggest not to let it go anywhere near any FF members houses!!!). Have you had the baby tested for rabies? (Is rabies even something that's passed on to infant coons, or do they have to be bitten or such?)

Sorry for all the questions, we have neither 'coons, nor rabies here!

I got some pretty DanG large Goannas, though...  ;)

asy :D

[TexasTimbers]

Hi asy. I see everything in terms of food. I am planning on fattening it up and eating it. Coon sausage is a little greasy but real tasty, especially with a little maple syrup. ;D

When I went through the bank window wholla go (I go through the business window right on the bank wall) the teller was 2 feet away and wanted me to pass it through the change drawer right there! Man she would have got fired she wasn't thinkin straight. The whole DanG teller industry came to her window and was all cooing and oohing and awing. One asked me the same thing you did. "What are you gonna do with it?!" I could not resist. I deadpanned "I am told they make excellent taco meat." :D

That illicited some serious frowns and I wen from hero to zero instantly. They disperssed to their regular duties. ;D

Most folks consider them to be pests. Varmits. I do too. I don't know why I took it. I guess I am getting mellow as i age. I have been a pretty mean SOB alot of my life maybe i am unconsciously trying to make amends. I guess now I would fight a wolverine to save the worthless little skunk. :

[Radar67]

Now you got a skunk too?  :D :D :D

[DWM II]

If'n you keep it in the house KevJay, ya better hide all your wifes shiney stuff, he'll take it like a crow. That could get to be expensive havin to replace  a bunch of jewelry and stuff. Not to mention the bad looks you and the coon get.

[Dave Shepard]

Whenever we have to split a tractor for a clutch, we do it in our grainery as it is the only concrete floor where we can do it. I had a large tool box sitting on the floor, and the racoons came in one night and pulled all the drawers open and pulled out anything shiny. You could see their tracks in the grain dust where they had rolled the sockets everywhere! I am sure they had a lot of fun, but it took a while to find everything. I kinda like racoons, but when they move in I know I have to take care of them, or there will be trouble sooner or later.


Dave

[WDH]

Coon sausage? .  Mean ole' Kevjay :-\.  Poor traumatized Bank Tellers :-[.

[TexasTimbers]

Hey WD, you almost made some Haiku. traditional is  5 - 7 - 5 but I have seen alot of variations. I like to stick to 5 - 7 - 5 when possible. A season is often strewn in with the poem too. I got pretty good at it on a scuba diving forum I was on a few years ago, a lady diver made a quip at me in Haiku and I asked what that was. That's all it took. Turned out to be a whopper of a thread and even got printed and distributed at our first international dive meet in Key Largo in June of 1999.

Something tells me Haiku will not make much of a stir on this foresrty typw forum though. ;) I ain't gonna let that stop me though. This one's for you . . .


On'ry Dubya Dee
Always Stirrin' Up Da Pot
One Day You Fall In

;D

[Dave Shepard]

ROFL kevjay, very good!


Dave

[WDH]

Serendity, Keyjay, just serendipity.  Blind hog syndrome, you know .

[asy]

KevJay's got a 'coon,
The coon is getting fatter,
One day he'll be yummy.

asy :D

[TexasTimbers]

 :D :D :D

That's good!  ;D

[Robert R]

Eat the coon.  And it has been my personal experience that armadillo shells are 22 proof so I move up to 357 on them.  You'll really enjoy that coon.  Some of my favorite eating.

[TexasTimbers]

Tom, I owe you an apology. You had a real nice thread going here and I sort of hijacked and messed it up IMO. It would be fine with me, if it would be okay with everyone else, to delete some of it or move it to my Beekeepers thread.

I know you probably don't give a hoot but I think I have tarnished it a bit. Sorry.  :-[

[Tom]

Shucks, that's alright, If my Porch coon shows back up, I'll just stick it in here and keep on going.  It's not my thread, we're talking to each other.  :D  It's kinda dumb if we all had our own little room and had to run to it when we wanted to same something.  Thanks for the acknowledgement, but it wasn't necessary.  I like your coon too.  :D

[SwampDonkey]

My barn ground pig showed up today when I returned to the shop to cut some board ends. He's a fat, well fed bugger. Wish I had a ground pig hunting dog. Flash, was deadly on them.  ;D You guys eat ground pigs? They are vegetarian. Can't be any worse than hare.  ;D

[Tom]

We don't have groundhogs down here. If we did, you can bet your life they would be fodder.  :D

[Tom]

Our Porch Coon is back.  Still a little on the young side, not looking at all like an over mature coon.   I saw it approach the house and went to the front porch.  It sat in the yard and looked at me making purring noises. 

I tried to run it off, but it wouldn't leave.  I came in the house and got my 22 pistol.  when I came back to the porch, the coon had moved toward the woods at the east of the property, about 50 feet away.  I shot once about 3 ft wide and it didn't even make a move.  I shot again about 6 inches to the right and it turned to the ditch and waddled off.

I returned to my window where I again saw it approaching the porch.  It was right outside of my window and seemed to be wary when I rolled my chair back, though I couldn't be seen.  Then it raised up on its hind legs and I noticed that it was a young sow and had been suckling.

I took the pistol to the front porch again but the coon had already headed for the ditch.  Running along beside her was a young cub.  Well, I understood now.  She wasn't going to leave without the cub and had come back to get it.  It must have been under the porch.

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a squirrel sticking its nose from behind the far side of the live oak tree at the porch.  It was about 6 feet off of the ground and I wondered if it had scared the coon.  Then I realized that it was another cub .  Looking at it to see what it would do, I noticed two others climbing to the fork that was a couple of feet above them.  Standing there on the porch with at least 3 cubs at eye level to me, and only 5 or 6 feet away, I contemplated what to do.

My heart, softened with age, made me chuckle.  I dropped the pistol to my side and came back into the house.  The cats will just have to deal with it.  :D :D

[WDH]

They are just trying to make a living........Maybe they lost a lot in the recent stock market crash and are trying to find a way to make ends meet  .

[SwampDonkey]

Lots of coons around here to with all this corn people started planting the last 5 years. Was never a spear of corn here unless it was in the garden and now even with a garden and 100's of acres of corn, they prefer the garden variety. I gave up on the garden a couple years ago. :D

[Tom]

I had a whole bunch of carrots that were going bad in the refrigerator.  It started off being about 15 lbs., and they were for juicing, but I had juiced about 1/3 of them when the juicer broke.  I forgot they were in there.

This afternoon, I got them out, salvaged what I could and peeled the rest, putting them in a big pot of water to make some soup.  Then I took the peelings and bad portions (had a mold on them) and dumped them by the ditch where I could watch the porch coons eat them.  What the heck, if you can't beat'em, join'em.

I came back from the kitchen a few minutes ago what do you suppose was out there eating the carrots?   The Cats.   I didn't know that cats ate carrots.   They are playing around the ditch and hunting something over there.  Now and again they will jumb a couple of feet in the air and do somersault.  Then they go back to the carrots and munch some more.  It might be a snake they are chasing.  Snakes are known to dispose of a slow cat now and again.  Or, on second thought, do carrots make cats do backflips?

If I have discovered something and the carrots or mold make animals turn backflips, I'm going to name the porch coon Jehoshaphat.  I'll call him Jumping Jehoshaphat. :D

[TexasTimbers]

J.J. the Jacksonville Bandit. ;D


That reminds me of something else I haven't thought of in a long time. . . .

You can call me RAY, or you can call me JAY. You can call me Ray Jay, or you can call me R.J. You can call me . . . . .  but ya doesn't hafta call me  . . . ???